This is Part 5 of You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This, please see Part 1 for the relevant background information. To refresh your memory, early in December Elizabeth discovered that she was pregnant and Carol started back to work at County.

Part 5 starts on Friday 3 January 2002, about three weeks after Part 4 ended. Unlike the other stories in this series, this is a Mark and Elizabeth and not a Doug and Carol piece.

This chapter discusses some themes that can be considered sensitive issues. If you don't wish to read about them, feel free to ask me for a summary. In addition, there's a shower scene but no sex.

As always, thanks go to Jo for being a loyal beta reader, Lori for her feedback on the Mark/Elizabeth/Ella scenes, and my LJ ER Fic Filter for all your suggestions. Also, thanks to everyone for the information I needed. Characters, etc, not mine, no money.

Sheila and Michelle are Mark and Elizabeth's secretaries, Maria Rosen is Elizabeth's OB.

E-mail me with any questions or comments that you may have.

You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This: Part 5: The Tough Stuff

Elizabeth was sitting in her office around 10:30 AM. She hadn't been feeling well, but attributed it to morning sickness, which she'd hoped would be abating soon, as she was at the end of the first trimester. She looked down when she opened a drawer and saw what appeared to be a wet spot on the front of her grey slacks. Panicking, she rushed from her office to the bathroom, where her fears were confirmed.

Sticking her head in her office door, she said to Michelle, I need to go down to the ER. I'll be back as soon as I can.'

Worried, she pushed the Down' button for the elevator four times in rapid succession. This can't be happening,' she muttered under her breath. Finally, the elevator came.

Abby was already on the elevator, and taking one look at Elizabeth, she asked, Dr. Corday, are you OK?'

Elizabeth shook her head, Are you on?'

Yes, I was just running a chart up to pedes. What do you need?'

Just then, the elevator opened into a busy ER. Not wanting to fuel the rumour mill, Elizabeth said, Can you see what's open? I'll wait here.'

Sure,' Abby said, very concerned. After looking at the board, she turned to Frank and said Close Exam 2.'

Just do it,' Abby said, already walking away. Reaching Elizabeth, she couldn't help but notice the stain on her pants. Shit,' she thought to herself. Aloud, she said, I've got Exam 2.' Elizabeth followed her wordlessly. When Abby shut door, she asked, Is Mark on his way down?'

In my rush to get down here, I didn't call,' Elizabeth said, walking back towards the door, where there was a phone on the wall.

I've got it,' Abby said. You need to lie down.' After dialing, she said, Dr Greene, please'

I'm sorry, he asked not to be disturbed,' Sheila said. He said that Dr. Lewis was on call and should be called for any problems in the ER.'

He'll take this one, it's about Elizabeth and it's important. At least tell him I'm on the line.'

I'll try, please hold.'

As Abby held, she turned to face Elizabeth, who looked confused. His secretary won't put the call through'

Call his private line, x3302.'

Abby did so, Dr Greene, it's Abby. Please come down to Exam 2, it's for Elizabeth.'

Is she OK?' Mark asked, extremely worried.

You need to come down.'

I'm on my way.'

Meanwhile in the ER, Abby got the ultrasound ready. Please wait for Mark?' Elizabeth asked.

Of course, I just wanted to get it ready. How long have you been bleeding?'

I just noticed. I guess about ten minutes ago now. But I guess I'd been bleeding for some time to have gone through to my pants. I didn't feel any cramping.'

How far along are you?'

Ten weeks,' Elizabeth said, softly.

Just then they heard two quick knocks, and Mark came in. Seeing Abby with the ultrasound, he quickly realised what was happening. He put one arm around Elizabeth's shoulder and held her other hand as Abby started the ultrasound.

After trying several angles, Abby confirmed what they already knew. I'm sorry,' she said, softly. Wanting to give them some time alone she asked, Who's your OB?'

Maria Rosen,' Mark said. I don't know the number off hand.'

I can get it,' Abby said. I'll be back in a little while. Page me if you need anything in the mean time.'

As soon as Abby was out the door, Elizabeth finally let go of the tears she'd been holding in, and buried her face on Mark's shoulder. Mark sat on the edge of the table so he could hold her better.

Neither spoke for a few minutes until Elizabeth said, I have clean underpants in my gym bag in my office, but I don't think I have any slacks in there.'

I'll get you some scrubs,' Mark offered.

Someone can, but...pl-please don't leave me right now?'

Of course not,' Mark said. We'll wait for the exam, and then we can ask someone to get the scrubs, and maybe Michelle can bring your bag down.'

And I need a pad, and...' Elizabeth said, tearing up from frustration.

Try not to worry about that,' Mark said, rubbing Elizabeth's back. I'll take care of the little things. You just rest here,' he said, holding her tightly.

Thanks,' she said, again resting her head on his shoulder.

Five minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Come in,' Mark said, glad for the courtesy.

It was Abby. Physically, how are you doing?' she asked Elizabeth.

OK,' Elizabeth said, slowly.

Any cramping yet?'

A little, but not too much.'

That's good. I spoke with Dr. Rosen's service. She's out of town, and Dr. Lucien, who's covering, was called to Mercy for an emergency C-Section.'

Well I don't need to see them today,' Elizabeth said, not wanting to sit around the ER until Dr. Lucien was finished at Mercy.

That's what I was thinking. If the bleeding isn't that heavy and you're not cramping badly, there's no need to do a DAnd I want to keep it quiet, or as quiet as possible. Can you do the exam?'

Of course,' Abby said. So you know, you're not on the Board. All anyone knows is that room is closed.'

Thank you,' Elizabeth said.

I really appreciate that,' Mark said.

As Elizabeth slipped out of her pants, Mark said, I know these are your favourites. They can probably be cleaned if you want to keep them.'

Elizabeth shook her head, I could never wear them again.'

Fine,' Mark said, checking the pockets before putting them in the trash. He then took Elizabeth's hand and interlaced his fingers with hers.

Abby was as gentle as she could be, and when she finished, she said, You're in good shape. There is, of course, still some bleeding but it isn't heavy and you definitely don't need a D&C. You should wear a pad, but regular will do. Overnight is not necessary, unless that would make you more comfortable.'

OK,' Elizabeth said.

Abby got a basin with warm water to clean up Elizabeth. Do you have a change of clothes?'

I have underwear in my gym bag, I figured I'd get scrubs. I don't have any pads though.'

I can get some, and I'll get the scrubs. Where's your bag? In your office?'

Yeah, if you call up to my secretary, maybe she'll bring it down.'

I can run up and get it. If she asks, what do you want me to tell her?'

Just that I needed to change. She didn't know about the pregnancy.'

OK,' Abby said. I'll be right back.'

Elizabeth asked Mark, What time are the people from the Council coming?'

At 2'

I hope I didn't keep you from prep work?'

You didn't, and it wouldn't matter if you had,' Mark said. I don't know how I'll get out of the meeting, but I will.'

You don't have to.'

I'm not leaving you alone at home.'

This meeting is too important for you to miss. I'll be OK.'

Staying alone is not an option. Your health is more important than any meeting.'

Fine, then I'll stay here and do paperwork,' Elizabeth said, stubbornly. I won't let you miss this meeting.'

Realising this was a battle he wasn't going to win, Mark compromised. How about someone stays at the house with you? Just in case you have any complications.'

I'd prefer to be alone, but if it will keep you happy.'

It will,' Mark said, Just until I can get home. It shouldn't be long, the meeting was supposed to last no longer than an hour anyway.'

OK,' Elizabeth acquiesced, partially relieved that she was going to have company. She wanted Mark, but this meeting was essential for County's funding and as Chief of Staff, he couldn't miss it. She knew he'd sit with her later, and the afternoon would give her some time to sort her thoughts.

Is there anyone in particular you want me to call?'

Someone who won't ask too many questions because I really don't feel up to talking about it.'

Susan is on call and has to be at the meeting as well, what about Doug? Or would you prefer a woman?'

Doug is fine, he won't ask a lot of questions.'

I'll call him when Abby gets back.'

You can call now.'

Are you sure?'

Elizabeth nodded.

Mark had let it ring four times and was about to hang up when Doug answered. Did I wake you?' Mark asked.

No, I was in the shower. What's up?'

I need a favour'

Elizabeth had a miscarriage this morning and I have a meeting with some Council reps that I can't miss. I don't want to leave her at home alone in case she has any complications, but she doesn't need or want to be in the hospital. Is there any chance you could come over for a few hours this afternoon?'

Mark, I'm so sorry. Do you want me to come now?'

We're still at the hospital finishing and the meeting isn't until 2. How's 1 or so?'

That's fine. I'll bring lunch for both of you.'

Thanks. I may take it to go'.'

No problem. See you at 1.'

Mark turned back to Elizabeth, All set.'

Thanks.'

They heard a knock at the door and Mark called, Come in.'

Abby came in with Elizabeth's bag, a pair of scrubs, and two pads. I think I've got everything.'

Thanks,' Elizabeth said, dressing slowly. And thank you for everything this morning.'

You're welcome. If there's anything I can do,' Abby paused as she took a piece of paper from her pocket. My home and cell numbers. Call me at any time.'

I appreciate that,' Mark said, noticing Elizabeth's distracted look.

And this is the aftercare info, but it's just the usual.' Realising that Elizabeth wasn't paying much attention, Abby handed the paper to Mark. And we're all done here.'

OK.' Mark said to Elizabeth, I'm going to pull the car up.'

I'll meet you outside.'

I can come back in.'

People will ask too many questions, and I don't want to talk.'

OK, I'll meet you in the Ambulance Bay.'

After Mark left, Elizabeth said to Abby, Thank you for everything.'

You're welcome. Do you want me to see if the hall is clear?'

It doesn't really matter, I have to leave the room regardless, but thanks.'

Luckily things were pretty busy, and she walked out without being stopped. Mark was pulling up just as she walked out. He could tell that she wasn't in a talking mood, but had one question. Is there anything you want to stop for?'

No, but if you need to stop, go ahead.'

I'm fine,' Mark said, taking Elizabeth's hand.

Around 12:55, Mark was sitting next to Elizabeth in bed, rubbing her back. As she dozed, he looked over some materials for the meeting. The doorbell rang and he leaned over and kissed Elizabeth. I love you. I'll see you later.'

He waved Doug in from the top of the stairs. Thanks for coming over.'

It's no trouble. I brought a few sandwiches and soup, and juice. Your sandwich is separate because I knew you'd be rushing out.'

Great. Elizabeth's asleep right now, and she may sleep straight through. I just didn't want to leave her alone.'

I don't blame you. I've got papers to look over for a conference anyway. Good luck with the bigwigs today.'

I'll need it. I should be back no later than four.'

OK.'

A little before 3, Elizabeth woke up. At first she was confused, but then the events of the morning came back to her. As she woke up a little more, she saw a note on her nightstand.

I'll be home as soon as I can. Call if you need anything. Love, Me

Elizabeth smiled, in spite of the situation. Mark was there for her, but he wasn't pushing her. Earlier, she hadn't wanted to talk simply because she knew she would've started crying and didn't want to make Mark feel guilty about leaving. Rather than pushing her, he'd just rubbed her back and she'd fallen asleep in his arms.

She realised she needed to go to the bathroom, so she wrapped Mark's robe around her, After going to the bathroom, she walked out to the dining room, where Doug was sitting with his laptop.

Hey, Elizabeth,' he said, standing to give her a hug. The music didn't wake you, did it?'

No, I didn't even hear it until now. If you want to use the stereo or turn on the TV, go right ahead.'

Thanks.'

Elizabeth went into the adjoining kitchen to get something to drink, and spied the soup. Is this your soup?'

I brought it for you and Mark. There's also a sandwich in the bag.'

Thanks,' Elizabeth said, spooning some soup into a bowl. Did you want anything?'

No, thanks.'

When Elizabeth brought her soup to the table, she stayed quiet, not really wanting to talk. But after a minute or two she asked, Did you know I was pregnant?'

No,' Doug said. And I'm very sorry to hear about the miscarriage.'

Thank you,' Elizabeth said, her mind recoiling at hearing the word for the first time. After a few moments, she spoke again. Not too many people know. I wanted to wait until I made it out of the first trimester,' she said, slowly, looking at the soup rather than at Doug.

I understand. You don't have to talk about it.'

I...I think...I think I'm going to lie down again. I'm sorry.'

Don't be. Go ahead, I'll clean up your soup. Call for me if you need anything.'

I will, thanks.' Climbing into bed, Elizabeth pulled her knees to her chest, and just tried to let the tears come.

Why stop, Daddy?'

I want to buy Mommy a present.'

No, not Santa,' Mark said, lifting Ella out of her car seat. Mommy is sick.'

I pick present?'

Yes, you can help,' Mark said, carrying Ella into the card store.

Good afternoon, Sir,' the clerk said.

Hi,' Mark said, walking to the cards. After choosing one, he went to their selection of stuffed animals and asked Ella, Which one for Mommy?'

Bunny!' Ella said, pointing at a lavender bunny.

OK,' Mark said, as they headed to the register. After they finished, they went next door to the florist where Mark chose a small bouquet.

They got home ten minutes later, and Mark reminded Ella, Ssh, mommy may be sleeping.'

I be quiet.'

Hey guys,' Doug said, as they walked in.

Hi, Gug'

How's Elizabeth?' Mark asked.

So so,' Doug said. Seeing the worried look on Mark's face, he quickly added, Physically, she's fine but she was quite upset about half an hour ago. I can stay a little longer with Ella. Go check on Elizabeth.'

Mark didn't need to be told twice, and quickly headed for the bedroom. He was saddened by Elizabeth's tearstained face. Not so much because she'd been crying, but because he hadn't been there while she was. Sitting next to her on the bed, he leaned down and kissed her. Elizabeth stirred but did not open her eyes. Deciding sleep was more important, he tucked the blanket around her and left a new note on the nightstand.

Going back out to the Living Room, he thanked Doug again. No problem, keep me posted and let me know if you need anything.'

I will.'

When Elizabeth woke up, she could hear Ella in the bath. Surprised that they were home and that it was dark she looked at her clock and realised it was 5:45. I never meant to sleep at all, let alone this long,' she thought, slowly standing. She wrapped her robe around herself and walked down the hall to the bathroom. She stopped in the doorway to take in the scene.

Mark was kneeling in front of the tub, looking so wet that Elizabeth had to wonder who was getting the bath. Ella was sitting in the tub with her toys saying Plash, plash' and splashing.

Elizabeth got a towel from the linen closet and walked back to the bathroom. I think you might need this,' she said, passing it to Mark.

Thanks, did you have a good rest?' he asked, kissing Elizabeth as she knelt down beside him.

She was about to answer but Ella squealed, Hello to you too, Sweetie,' Elizabeth said as Ella gave her a very wet hug.

Daddy, present?'

Let's finish your bath first, Mark said as Elizabeth gave him a bewildered look.

Finish,' Ella said.

Not so fast,' Mark laughed. You still have marker on your face.'

I'll finish up with her,' Elizabeth said. Why don't you go dry off?'

OK, and I'll start dinner. Any requests?'

I'm not that hungry, make whatever you're in the mood for and I'll nibble.'

Sounds like a plan.'

Taking a washcloth and a dab of soap Elizabeth gently washed the marker from Ella's face. What were you drawing?'

A see-kwit'

Ahh, do I get to know about the secret?'

Maybe,' Ella said, giggling.

OK,' Elizabeth said, lifting Ella from the tub and wrapping her in a towel.

Let's just get your PJs on first,' she said, laying Ella down on the changing table.

Yes, you can wear your blue ones,' Elizabeth said, fastening Ella's diaper.

When they finished, Elizabeth carried Ella to the kitchen where Mark was. Present, Daddy, present,' Ella said, barely containing her energy.

OK. Do you want to get it?'

I get,' Ella said, wiggling as Elizabeth set her down. She ran off to the dining room and before she came back she called, Mommy, eyes cose'

They're closed.'

Footsteps again and Ella said, Hands.' Elizabeth felt something light and soft in her outstretched palms. Eyes open,' Ella commanded.

Elizabeth did as she was told and saw the purple bunny. No more sick,' Ella explained.

Thank you,' Elizabeth said, hugging Ella as tears came to her eyes. There was something about children's understanding that could melt a grownup's heart. Does the bunny have a name?'

That's a great name. She and Bugs can be friends. Now let's say goodnight to Daddy and we'll read a story,' Elizabeth said, gathering Ella into her arms.

Night Daddy,' Ella said reaching over to Mark.

Sweet dreams. I love you.'

When they got to Ella's room, Elizabeth said, Choose a book.'

Moon!' Ella said, climbing into Elizabeth's lap with Goodnight Moon, her favourite book.

OK,' Elizabeth said, starting to read. She'd read only about half the book before she noticed Ella was asleep. She lay her down in the crib and kissed her goodnight, whispering I love you, sweetie.'

She walked back to the kitchen where Mark was standing over the stove, stirring something in a pot. Elizabeth walked over and stood next to him, put her arm around his waist and her head on his shoulder. That smells good.'

Marks took the wooden spoon from the pot, And how does it taste?' he asked, passing Elizabeth a sample.

Good,' Elizabeth said. Maybe a minute or two longer though to warm it a little more.'

OK,' Mark said. Taking a look at Elizabeth, he said, Looks like Ella got you as wet as she got me. Why don't you go change?'

It's OK. I'm going to take a long hot shower after dinner, so I can wait.'

Want company in the shower?'

Yeah, I think I do,' Elizabeth said.

Sounds like a plan. Why don't you sit and rest? Dinner is almost done.'

As Elizabeth looked over at the table to see if it was set yet, she noticed the flowers, and the envelope next to them. Oh Mark, you shouldn't have.'

Oh how would I look if Ella got you something and I didn't?' Mark asked, grinning.

Thank you,' Elizabeth said, kissing Mark before going into the Dining Room. She opened the envelope and took out a small Anne Geddes card. When she opened the card, she read:

Elizabeth,

I love you more than anything. I know this isn't going to be an easy time, but I wanted you to know I'll be here for you through it all.

Thank you,' she said, as Mark brought two bowls of soup to the table. You know I feel the same.'

I do.'

I'm sorry, I completely forgot to ask. How did the meeting go?'

Very well. It didn't last long at all and it looks like we should get the funding.'

That's great news. Make sure you share the wealth with surgery,' Elizabeth said, smiling.

I will. I'm sorry that I couldn't be here with you this afternoon.'

Don't worry,' Elizabeth said, taking Mark's hand. If I had to choose between your being here now and this afternoon, I'd choose now.' Seeing Mark's bewildered look, she continued, All I did this afternoon was sleep. I was too exhausted to talk.'

Did the sleep help?'

A little, I guess I had been more tired than I'd realised.'

After the holidays and all, I'm hardly surprised. Why don't you take a day or two off before going back?'

I had been thinking about it, since I don't need to worry about maternity leave now. I may take Monday and then next Friday and Monday. I'll have to see if I feel ready to work a five day week yet.'

That sounds like a good idea.'

About twenty minutes later, Mark was finished eating. Are you done?' he asked Elizabeth.

Yeah, I just, I really can't eat.'

That's OK. Let me know if you want anything later.'

I will,' Elizabeth said, taking her dishes to the sink. The dishwasher still needs to be emptied.'

It can wait, the dishes aren't going anywhere,' Mark said, putting his dishes with Elizabeth's. After using a sponge to wipe the table, Mark put his arm around Elizabeth's shoulder and asked, Are you ready for that shower?'

Mmmhmm,' Elizabeth said, absentmindedly as they walked from the kitchen.

Mark took a few towels from the linen closet and then met Elizabeth in the bathroom after she'd checked on Ella. So that the water would be ready when they were, he started it running and turned back to Elizabeth as he undressed. She'd hung the robe on the hook and was starting on her clothes. When she removed her pajama pants and underwear, a pained expression crossed her face as she removed and wrapped up the blood stained maxi pad. She turned to look at Mark, having felt his eyes watching her, That's the hardest part,' she said softly.

Not knowing what to say, Mark simply nodded. Has the bleeding been heavy?' he added a few seconds later.

Not really. I changed pads once, earlier this afternoon. If I weren't going to take a shower, I'd probably have left that one on until bed.'

And how's the cramping?'

Very little.'

Good,' Mark said as they stepped into the shower. He had his back to the rear of the shower, and Elizabeth was facing him, allowing the warm spray to hit her back.

Keeping one arm around Elizabeth's waist, Mark got the shampoo and began to massage it into her long curls. After rinsing, he did the same with the conditioner. While the conditioner soaked into her hair, he put some body wash on a washcloth and began to lather up Elizabeth's body. Turn around and let me get your back?'

Elizabeth complied wordlessly and enjoyed the feeling as Mark abandoned the washcloth and used his hands on her back. You're very tense, try to relax.'

OK,' Elizabeth said, rotating her shoulders a little.

I'll give you a massage after,'

I'd like that, a lot,' Elizabeth said, watching soap and traces of blood go down the drain. After seeing that, it took more willpower to hold herself together. Searching for something to distract herself, she said, Let me do your back.'

Sure,' Mark said, as they switched places. No point in asking you to shampoo me,'

I could,' Elizabeth said with a smile. But it would take all of one second.'

Maybe two.'

When they finished in the shower, Mark wrapped Elizabeth in a large towel. Do you have another pair of underwear in here or should I get you one?' he asked, wrapping a towel around his waist.

I brought one in earlier,' Elizabeth said, reaching with one hand for the cotton pair on the back of the toilet seat. Not the sexiest things on earth, but they'll do.'

You're sexy,' Mark said. You don't need the underwear to make you sexy.'

Thank you,' Elizabeth said, as Mark lifted her into his arms. You don't have to do that.'

I know I don't have to,' Mark said, lying her down on the bed. Reaching into the drawer on her night table, he took out a book of matches and lit the candle on the bedside table.

Much better than lights,' Elizabeth said.

I agree. Be right back,' Mark said. Elizabeth was surprised to hear his footsteps on the stairs, but he returned quickly enough wearing pajama pants and carrying a small bottle.

You get PJs, but I don't?'

You will, soon enough,' Mark said, sitting on the edge of the bed. He squirted some of the contents of the bottle onto his hands and then began Elizabeth's massage at the bottom of her calves.

That smells wonderful,' Elizabeth said.

It's a lavender, just a different brand from what we usually use,' Mark said, showing Elizabeth the bottle.

I love it,' Elizabeth said, relaxing under Mark's caring touches.

After about ten minutes he asked, Turn over?'

Elizabeth complied, glad for a chance to not have to look Mark in the eye. She loved the massage, and it felt great, but the day's events were starting to catch up with her and it was getting harder to fight the tears. Mark spent a long time working on the tense muscles in Elizabeth's neck, shoulders, and back. Thank you,' she murmured softly.

You're welcome.' When he finished, he again said, I'll be right back.'

When he came back, he was carrying a pair of Elizabeth's pajamas. Fresh from the dryer,' Mark said. Guaranteed toasty warm.'

When Elizabeth failed to turn over, he probed, Are you OK?' Elizabeth turned her head and Mark could see the tears. Are you in pain?' he asked gently.

Not physically,' Elizabeth said, reaching for her pajama bottoms. She sat up slightly to put on the top and, before lying down again asked, Hold me?'

Of course,' Mark said, wrapping his arms around her. She rested her head on his shoulder and he buried his head in her hair.

-3 April 2003

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