Eep! Another story that I've
been writing for seemingly forever! Well, since the beginning
of March when I finished Part 1!
I don't know how I feel about this piece, so feel free to be brutally
honest with criticism.
This is Part 2 of The Baby. This piece starts on the Monday following the Thursday where Part 1 took place. This piece is going to be different in that in spans a long period of time, with short scenes from the various life stages. I've never done anything like this before, but want to because I know I don't have the stamina and/or desire to stretch this into a long series that covers 20 years :)
In all honesty, I'm not sure how much I like the piece, but it's an angle that hasn't been done-or not that I've seen-and I want to.
To refresh your memory: part 1 was a re-write of Great Expectations, and what could have happened if Carol had experienced more complications with the twins' delivery. She asked Mark to call Doug, but he didn't get there in time.
Evelyn/Jake: my characters, the rest: obviously not mine. Holes in the Floor of Heaven is a song by Steve Wariner; I found the poem on the back of a memorial card.
Note: Yes, I forgot about Carol's mom in Part 1. She obviously would have been there, but since she wasn't and I don't want to write her in, let's pretend she is no longer alive.
Imagine Mark and Elizabeth's story post GE is true, yes, all of it. But no, I'm not going there. :)
As always, thanks go to Jo, my loyal Doug/Carol beta reader, Lorraine and those in the LJ ER Fic Filter. This piece wouldn't exist without all of your help. As always, e-mail me with any questions or comments that you may have.
The Baby 2: Life After Love
I thought we'd grow old together
Lord I sure do miss her now
Doug was sitting on the edge of the couch. The house, Carol's house, was so quiet that you could have heard a ghost walking around. After spending the first few nights on Mark's couch, he'd come back here last night, he needed to think. It was difficult, as he could hardly remember spending time here, without Carol.
A heart of gold stopped beating,
two shining eyes at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove,
He only takes the best.
but you did not go alone-
for part of us went with you,
the day He took you home.
to others just part of the past,
but to those of us who loved and lost you,
the memory will always last.
Of course there had
been the times when they were working opposite shifts, but he
always knew that when her shift was over, she'd be back. Now,
he realised, she'd never be coming back. This alone brought tears
to his eyes. The funeral was in an hour, and then he'd be bringing
the girls back from the hospital.
The girls. Not only was he a father again, but now he was a single father of two little girls. Two girls who would depend on him for everything, and would remind him of their mother every day.
The previous day, between the afternoon and evening sessions of the wake, Doug had gone to the rental car company to get a car. He thought he was going to need car seats as well, but then Mark had mentioned that Carol had bought them. Doug was surprised, because she didn't have a car, but then Mark said, 'We'd told her she wasn't going to take the girls on the El; that someone would be able to help her.' Hearing Mark say that made Doug think more about the amount of help he'd need to raise the girls, and on Sunday evening, he made a decision.
Looking at his watch, he realised he still had a few minutes before he had to leave. He dialed a number on his cell phone, one he'd dialed many times in the last few days. After entering his password, he put the phone to his ear and once again heard:
Doug, I asked Mark to call you and he told me that you're on your way here. I hope I see you, but they're about to reintubate me. There was a brief pause as Carol struggled for a breath, and then she continued. I want you to know that I love you. I've always loved you and I know you feel the same. Don't ever worry that I didn't know, because I did. I want you to know I'll always be watching over you and the girls. I've taken care of all the paperwork, and I know you'll be a great Dad. Another pause, this one longer and Doug could hear her struggling to breathe. I love you and I'll miss you.
Despite having listened to it many times, it still hadn't gotten any easier, and it brought tears to his eyes. She'd known she was dying, but did her best to wait till he got there. 'I love you too,' he mouthed silently, wishing, hoping that she would hear him. 'I miss you more than anything.'
A few minutes later, Doug realised that it was time to leave for the funeral. He pulled into the parking lot just as Mark and Elizabeth did, they were going to ride in the limo with him. 'How are you two this morning?' he asked, locking the car.
'OK,' Mark said. 'How about you?'
'I'm numb,' Doug admitted. 'It's a balance of thinking about the funeral and the realisation that the girls come home today.'
'I think that's a normal reaction,' Elizabeth said. 'Are we still going with the original plan of us going back to the house while you pick up the girls?'
'I think so,' Doug said. 'I don't know how many people are coming but we certainly have more than enough food.'
'And I'm sure people will bring even more when they come today,' Mark said, as they waited for the funeral director to meet them.
'Are you two off all day?'
'I have to work tonight,' Elizabeth said.
'I don't have to work until tomorrow afternoon,' Mark said. 'When do you have to be back in Seattle for work?'
'That's something I need to talk with you about,' Doug said. 'But it can wait,' he added as the funeral director approached them.
'Good morning.'
'Morning,' each of them replied, not eager to refer to it as a good one.
'We're almost ready to load the car. Do you want a last visit?'
'I can't,' Doug said. 'It's too hard. I don't want to remember her that way.'
Mark nodded, 'She wouldn't want us to.'
'I've said my goodbyes,' Elizabeth added.
Satisfied, the funeral director said, 'I'll let you know when we're ready to leave,' and went off to take care of everything.
'OK,' Doug said. 'I have a favour to ask you two.'
'Anything,' Mark said.
'I've decided not to go back to Seattle. I don't know if you guys saw Carol's paperwork, but she left me the house. And.' He paused for a few seconds before continuing, 'I can't raise the girls alone. I need help. I'm not sure how the job thing will work out, but I want to try and stay in Chicago.'
'I'll help you in any way I can,' Mark said.
'As will I,' Elizabeth added. 'Do you want us to watch the girls when you go back to Seattle to settle things there?'
'I hadn't even thought about that yet,' Doug admitted. 'I just started thinking about this yesterday afternoon. I put a call in to my boss, and I anticipate him calling me back this afternoon. He knows I had been thinking about leaving. Even if Carol didn't want me to come back here, I was going to move closer so this won't really surprise him.'
'And I'm sure you won't have trouble finding a job. They hired you immediately because they know you're a good doc. Other hospitals will feel the same.'
'I hope so,' Doug said.
7 years later (2007)
Doug walked into the house just past 5 PM. Tess came running to the door to greet him, but Kate was nowhere in site. Doug had been lucky to find a great nanny, a retired schoolteacher named Evelyn, who enjoyed caring for the girls while he was at work. Having split the Clinic Director's position into two, he found himself working a steadier schedule than ever before, but still treating a wide variety of patients. He was almost always home dinner, and could count, on one hand, the number of times in four years that he'd not been home to put the girls to bed.
Although he'd never describe life as single father as easy, there was no job anywhere near as rewarding. He'd dated casually but found he already had the two most important women in his life.
Lifting Tess into his arms, Doug asked, 'And how was your day?'
'Good,' Tess said, kissing him. 'We made Halloween crafts.'
'Did you bring it home?'
'Not yet. We have to leave it there until Halloween.'
'OK,' Doug said. As they walked into the family room, Evelyn stood to greet them, and he could see Kate lying on the couch. 'Hey Katers,' he said.
'Hi,' she said, softly.
Putting Tess down, Doug walked over to the couch and gave Kate a kiss. Not getting much of a response, he decided to walk Evelyn out and then give the girls his full attention. 'I'll be right back,' he said to the girls.
'Good night Evelyn'
'Night Tess, I can't wait to see what you made in school. You too, Kate.'
'Bye,' Kate said, softly.
As Doug walked Evelyn towards the front door he asked, 'Has Kate been like that all afternoon?'
'Since I picked her up from Scouts and Tess from dance. She didn't want to talk, not even to Tess.'
Doug nodded. 'I'll try to talk to her. Thank you.'
'You're welcome, I'll see you tomorrow.'
As Doug walked back to the family room, he saw Tess sitting on the floor next to the couch. From the back, they could not look more like Carol. They had her long dark curls. As difficult as it was for Doug to learn to style it, they liked it, and he couldn't bear to think of cutting it. Sitting next to Kate on the couch he asked, 'So what's for dinner? Kate, it's your night.'
'Grill cheese?'
'Yes yes, please Daddy?!' Tess added.
'Sure,' Doug said. 'While I start, why don't you two bring your bags to the kitchen.'
As he started the sandwiches and vegetables, he looked through what the girls had brought home from school. When he saw a piece of paper Kate had from Scouts, he realised he knew what the problem likely was. A Mother-Daughter sleepover. Although he knew about these, they had been lucky enough so far not to have to deal with them. There were a few instances where the Mothers typically came into the classroom, but Doug had been happy to fill the role of Class Father. Somehow, he realised, that wasn't going to work this time.
'Do you want to go to the sleepover?' Doug asked Kate.
'Not alone.'
'I'll go with you,' Tess offered.
'It has to be a mommy,' Kate said, visibly sad.
Although the girls had never known their mother, they certainly knew a lot about her. There were photos of her around the house, and Doug's friends from County were often around, more than happy to answer the girls' questions about their mother.
'You don't want to ask Evelyn?' Doug asked.
'She's old,' Kate said, shrugging her shoulders.
'How about Elizabeth then? Or is she too old?' Doug added with a laugh.
'Would she?'
'I think she'd love to.' Doug said. 'Want to call and ask her?'
'Can you call?'
'I'll call, but I think she'd like it if you asked her,' Doug said.
'OK,' Kate said as Doug reached for the phone.
'Hey,' he said, when Elizabeth answered the phone. 'Are you in the middle of eating?'
'No, I was off today so we had an early dinner at the park. How are you and the girls?'
'Good, thanks. And you two?'
'We're both doing well.'
'Good. Kate has something she'd like to ask you, do you have a minute?'
'Of course.'
'Thanks, I'll get back on when she's through.'
'Hi Elizabeth,' Kate said, as Doug handed her the phone.
'Hello. How was school today?'
'Good, we did stuff for Halloween.'
'That's right, it's coming up soon. What are you going to be?'
'A nurse. And Tess is going to be a doctor.'
Elizabeth chuckled, not at all surprised. Whenever Tess, Kate and Ella got together their favourite game to play was dress up and they usually dressed up as doctors, nurses, or more recently, paramedics. 'I can't wait to see your costumes.'
'Can Ella come trick or treating with us?'
'I think so. I'll talk to your dad about it later, OK?'
'OK. Can I ask you a question?'
'Of course you can.'
'My Brownie Troop is having a Mother/Daughter sleepover next month. And it has to be a mommy who goes, but it can be any mommy. Would you go with me if you don't have to work?'
'Of course I will,' Elizabeth said, touched that Kate had asked. 'When is it?'
'November 10th, it's a Friday night.'
'I put it on my calendar; I'm looking forward to it. Is there anything special we need to buy for it?'
'I don't know,' Kate said. 'They only told us about it today. I can ask at the next meeting.'
'OK,' Elizabeth said. 'I think we should definitely go shopping for some new PJs though, how does that sound?'
'Sounds good,'
'When you put Daddy on, I'll talk with him about when we can go.'
'Thank you,' Kate said. 'Here's Daddy.'
'You're welcome.'
As Kate handed Doug the phone he said, 'Why don't you two go wash up and we'll eat in three minutes.' Putting the phone to his mouth he said to Elizabeth, 'Thank you.'
'You don't have to thank me, I'm happy to go with her. Can Ella spend the night with you and Tess?'
'Sure, I've put both on the calendar. And is Ella coming over Friday?'
'Possibly, I think I may be cancelling on dinner.'
'Oh really, why?'
'I don't know. He's nice enough but, I don't know if I want to spend an evening with him.'
'Fair enough, I've had that with some women I've met. Just let me know, even if you just want a few hours to relax, she can come play here. I'm off all day.'
'I'll do that,' Elizabeth said. 'And now I'll let you go so you can eat. Talk to you tomorrow.'
And sometimes when I'm lonely
I remember she can see
Later that evening, after the girls were in bed, Doug sat in the living room reading a book. Well, he was holding a book in his hands, but he wasn't really absorbing any of the words, and hadn't turned a page in more than twenty minutes. In reality, he was thinking about what had happened earlier. It was the first time he really felt as if he was letting down the girls. He'd tried hard to be the best father he could be, and most times he felt he succeeded. But there was no way he could be a mother, not in situations like these.
And in four or five years, they'd need a mother even more. He had trouble enough getting through his own puberty, let alone helping two girls. Two women. They were going to be young women.
He found himself doing what he always did when he needed help. He looked at a photo on the mantle, a photo he had of Carol from the summer before she'd died. He'd flown to Chicago for the weekend, and they'd had a picnic at the lake. Carol had been about five months pregnant, and in this picture she was standing with the lake behind her, turned slightly sideways so you could see her belly. Doug thought she'd never looked more beautiful.
'Carol, I need help,' he said, softly.
'I don't want to take time away from the girls. But I wonder if not having a mother figure in their life is hurting them more than...'
As he trailed off, he felt that what he said wasn't totally true. Elizabeth had been a mother figure to the girls from the very beginning, even before she married Mark. And then after Mark's death Doug had helped be a father figure to Ella.
'But I know I'm not doing as good of a job as you would have if you were here. I don't know what to do in situations like this,' he added.
At first, he thought it was odd that he spoke to the picture of Carol. When he had gone to speak with someone he mentioned it, and they didn't think it was odd. He'd really never stopped. It helped, and didn't hurt.
It wasn't like he thought Carol was going to answer, but it helped to have an ear that wouldn't interrupt. 'I'm going to need your help as the girls get older,' he added.
At times, and this was one, he couldn't help but wonder how things might have been different if Carol had lived. Would he have given up the ER for Clinic work? While there was no doubt the two were very different; he'd found his current work to possess challenges and enjoyment he'd never imagined.
Would they still be in Chicago? Maybe Carol would have joined him in Seattle, or maybe they would have relocated to a third city.
One thing he knew for certain; they would have been together. He didn't know his son, but he knew from the day he found out about her pregnancy that he would be there for her and their daughters.
17 years later (2024)
Well my little girl's twenty-three
I walk her down the aisle
It's a shame her mom can't be here now
To see her lovely smile
Doug stood in his bedroom, adjusting his tie and making sure his suit looked right. This day was going to be special, and he wanted absolutely everything to be perfect. He looked at his watch, and decided to head for the church since his schedule was independent of everyone else's.
As he pulled up to the church; he saw Kate's car there. She'd come back, of course, and Tess had spent the previous evening at her place so that she wouldn't see Jake on the morning of the wedding. The wedding.
Doug had never married, but he looked forward to Tess' wedding as much as he might have looked forward to his own.
24 years ago (2000)
It was just after the girls' first Christmas. Mark and Elizabeth were spending the day, and they were watching the girls as Doug put some of the Christmas decorations into the attic. Initially, he hadn't felt much like celebrating Christmas. It had been barely a month since Carol had died and he certainly wasn't in a celebrating mood.
But it was the girls' first Christmas; something he knew he'd want to have memories of. He'd decided to do something simple with some friends; and now he was cleaning up. While in the attic, he came across what looked like a garment bag from a department store. Curious, he'd opened it. What he saw shocked him. It was a wedding dress. He remembered enough from Carol's almost wedding to Tag to know that this wasn't that dress.
Surprised, he'd gone to ask Mark and Elizabeth about it. Mark was also surprised, but Elizabeth smiled a knowing smile. 'It was going to be a surprise,' she said. 'Remember when you asked her in September to marry you?'
'Of course.'
'Well she wanted to marry you, but not while she was seven months pregnant. She was going to ask you to marry her in the Spring or early Summer; when she had lost the pregnancy weight.'
Doug had tears in his eyes. Carol had finally been ready to marry him.
'With all that happened in the last month I forgot all about the dress,' Elizabeth admitted.
'I'm glad it was a surprise,' Doug said.
2024
As soon as the girls had been old enough to understand; Doug had told them about the dress and Carol's engagement ring. They knew that when it came time for them to get married; they'd each get one.
Tess was almost exactly the same build as Carol had been so she'd chosen the dress. Kate had been happy to take the ring even though she wasn't seeing anyone seriously.
Doug knocked on the rec room door and heard Kate call 'Who is it?'
'It's Dad.'
'Come in.'
The girls both had his eyes; but they had Carol's hair, and Doug couldn't help but think that he had stepped in a time machine. His two little girls had grown into fine young women; and Tess looked elegant in her mother's wedding dress.
'You look beautiful,' he said to Tess.
'Thank you, Daddy.'
'Do you need me to do anything?'
'I think we're ready. Your boutonniere is on the table. I think the photographer will be ready to do our pictures soon.'
'OK,' Doug said, reaching for the flowers.
Turning to Kate, Doug added, 'And what kind of mischief did you get up to last night?'
'We were too tired! We went to O'Ds and had a drink, and that was it.'
Doug laughed, 'Any news on what the men got up to?'
'You didn't stay out with them?'
'No, I left after about an hour.'
'I don't think they stayed out much longer; they all look well rested.'
'Smart men.' Turning back to Tess, he asked, 'Do you have everything you need? Old, new, borrowed and blue?'
'The dress is old, I borrowed earrings from Kate, and well...' Turning to Kate, they shared a laugh. 'Yes, I have something blue.'
Doug grinned, 'And what's new?'
'The shoes, all my cosmetics, the veil.'
'I think you need one more thing,' Doug said. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a long, flat jewellery box. Handing it to Tess he said, 'I love you. Congratulations.'
Opening it, Tess found a thin gold chain with a small yellow topaz. 'Thank you, Daddy, it's beautiful.' Leaning over to kiss him, she added, 'And thank you for everything today.'
'You're welcome.'
-August 27, 2003
but not posted until 5 October 2003
D/C Home Fanfiction Home