Disclaimer: Naruto is not my property. Just borrowing.

References to manga chapters 4, 181, & 225.

Chapter 9: Enduring and Endearing

It was like that time, she remembered, when she leaped off a cliff with the thunderous waterfall in a sublime moment of freedom and fearlessness. Exhilaration (and perhaps the force with which she smacked against the water surface) made her lightheaded then, but never had she felt so one with nature.

She was sixteen, on her way home from an escort mission to the country of Pine. Her spirits had soared with the beauty of the unadulterated earth, and she surprised her sensei and teammates when on impulse, on sheer impulse, she abandoned the search for the hidden trail down the steep mountainside and took the shortest way down. The whirling currents carried her to the surface slowly, and there were blues and grays and greens that swirled around her as she went. It wasn't really seeing, but more like feeling. It felt wonderful when she emerged from the tempest, when her head bobbed up from the roiling water, and her first gulp of air came with sweet laughter. Even the welcoming scowls of her teammates and sensei as they fished her downstream when they caught up an hour later didn't dampen her mood.

Sasuke had ignored her the rest of that journey, a fact she didn't give much thought to at the time. Now, she wondered whether he was annoyed by the delay she caused or by the worry she inspired in him. Right now, however, she couldn't continue dreaming up more silly, girlish reasons as to why that happened, because she was already waking up.

How disappointing, she thought.

She opened her eyes to a mildly sunlit room. The curtains were drawn to let light in from the partially clouded skies and into the strikingly white hospital room. It was quiet in there, and the sound of bustling activity of the outside world drifted in from a distance to soften that emptiness.

Sakura felt somewhat tired still and was tempted to close her eyes again. She'd prefer to know where she was and why she was there before zoning out again, but thinking about it took too much effort. Incuriously, she looked around the room and eventually noticed the two pairs of eyes focused on her.

She was alive, her brain processed. She was probably in Konohagakure no Sato itself—failing that, among friends, at least.

Nobody spoke for the longest while, but Sakura didn't really mind. Maybe even listening would have tired her out. She certainly doubted being able to initiate a conversation among her visitors herself. The hinge of her jaws seemed a bit stuck and her throat was drier than a dead leaf.

Finally, the lanky young man on the right side of the room, the one squatting on the other hospital bed, ran his hand through his spiky, blond hair and sighed.

"All right, you two," he said as he stood and walked toward her. "First of all, I'm glad you're awake now, Sakura-chan," he said. "We were worried, you know. Secondly, I want to tell you guys that I'm kinda hurt by all this shit. It's the sort of thing you tell you're best friend after all." He sighed, blue eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "I think I'll go for lunch now, and you two can sort things out and decide what stuff you need to explain to the snail-brained Uzumaki Naruto."

Sakura was still trying to decipher that onslaught of words and emotions when the door opened to let in a masked, gray-haired man.

"Hello, everyone," he said. "I was in the neighborhood and I heard about the little incident in coastal Fire country..."

"She's fine, sensei," the younger jounin assured him brusquely. "But you owe me lunch at the Ichiraku's."

"Right now?" Kakashi scratched his head. "Two bowls, was it?"

"Two meals," corrected Naruto as he sauntered to the door. "But since great, almost legendary ninjas like you are good at hiding, you can just pay for my girl's meal and you're covered."

"Well, it's cheaper that way." Kakashi lingered at the doorway to address his bedridden former student. "Rest well, Sakura." The door shut in time to catch his sigh.

The silence at the wake of master and pupil was more potent in bringing Sakura back to her senses than all the racket the two made. Belatedly, she realized she had reason to not want to be left alone, but her protest died on her lips when the finality of the door knob clicking back in place echoed in the room.

She was now alone with Uchiha Sasuke. And she could barely move, let alone jump out the window and on to safety.

Now why would she do such a thing?

Oh, right. She had been avoiding him.

Well, she was still avoiding him. Her sleepy green eyes lazily scanned the neat room, traveled down the thin hospital gown she wore, the white sheet she was wrapped in, the foot of her bed, the opposite wall with its posted adages to heal fast and rest patiently, the stark ceiling, the partitioning curtain pushed open... Anywhere that didn't remotely look like two dark eyes, a possibly perfect nose, a stern mouth, and unruly black hair.

What was he doing here, she wondered lamely. What was she doing there?

Either he was there to tell her or he was there to find out himself, she thought. Or he was there because he knew perfectly well that she was virtually trapped with him in there, she couldn't run away like the last time, and she'd have to hear whatever he wanted her to. But then, she was being stupid. He was still her friend. It was only natural for him to be concerned for her. How could she deprive him of that?

Yes, she could vaguely recall now. She had used the Dying Sun technique, a high-level genjutsu attack she developed herself, when her patrol group was ambushed by the Nameless Ones. It unexpectedly sapped her of all her energy and she collapsed. Somebody must have saved her from the foreign nin who broke from the spell prematurely because the last she could remember was the promise of death in the flat, cold-blooded grin of her enemy.

"Che," she griped, clutching her blanket in frustration.

The Dying Sun was far from perfect. A fifty percent success rate for such a technique was unacceptable. It was not yet reliable enough for an entire team to hinge their operations on, to trust the mission on. And the aftermath... She must have miscalculated the amount of chakra she needed versus the amount she was capable of producing; it was the only explanation for her collapse. Regardless, she must analyze the situation as soon as possible: how she failed, where she failed, what she must do the next time.

In the meantime, she must decide what to do with the silent Uchiha Sasuke in her hospital room. After all, there was a slight chance he wouldn't stay quiet all throughout his stay.

She glanced at him nervously, but he wasn't looking at her. He was staring at the window, following the movements of a bird of prey that wheeled four times as some sort of signal. That was a good thing, wasn't it? Perhaps, he wasn't interested in vituperating her about her stupidity, or her carelessness, or her—

Black and green met.

She looked away first, because his eyes were impregnable and she quaked under them like a tower of scrolls hastily piled atop one another by some overzealous genin. Then she was clawing her blanket away and mumbling about unsanitary bathrooms and there being peeping toms in every single village of Fire Country—where was the world going to?—and that he'd have to excuse her because she had an appointment with her bladder and that...

That—that he let go of her this instant because she was not an invalid!

Sakura was just in the process of putting her socked feet on the floor when she felt him behind her all of a sudden in that classical sneakiness most of team 7 inherited from the Copy Ninja. She hated it when he did that to her because she wasn't some enemy to be stalked and, as much as she hated to admit it, he still startled her sometimes. Mostly, it was because it reminded her of things that sting too much to be called up in memory so casually.

Besides, it wasn't as if she was this weakling who needed—

Her opening mouth stopped midway, leaving the rest of her indignant admonishment to die in her throat and her jaw hanging slack. It was good he held her by both elbows firmly. Heck, she'd be spread out on the floor otherwise, with her butt exposed and her dignity splintered. Her knees were wobbling, unable to bear her weight. Her vision came in waves. Her head felt like a balloon.

"What?" she gasped.

At that moment, the door opened to usher in a girl. She didn't even look thirteen to Sakura, but she commanded an air of incontestible authority.

"Oh, good," she said brightly. "You're awake, Haruno-san."

Briskly, she went to Sakura, shooed off Sasuke, and had the pink-haired chuunin reclined on her bed, propped up among pillows, before Sakura could even answer the greeting.

"Uchiha-san, I distinctly remember advising you not to let her out of bed yet," she scolded, smiling sweetly. Her eyes, however, sparkled dangerously, evilly. "Please, I urge you to heed our recommendations. After all, we aim to heal."

"..."

"Any pains, Haruno-san? How do you feel?"

"No pain," answered Sakura. "Tired."

"Ah." The girl nodded sagely, chewing on that bit of information thoroughly.

"Who are you?" Sasuke's tone was a bit ungracious, Sakura had to admit.

"Oh, I'm sorry for totally forgetting to introduce myself. I'm Yukimura Solilaea. I am a mednin." She paused. "Well, I'm an apprentice under Shizune-sensei, so technically I'm still in training. But I'm eighteen, okay? I really am of age to see naked people, despite the usual reaction of patients when they first meet me."

"What happened to me?" Sakura asked.

The girl hesitated. "Um, it's a little personal. Is it okay for Uchiha-san to--"

"Let him stay," murmured Sakura. At the same time, Sasuke firmly said, "I'm staying."

"Okay then," the girl continued without missing a beat. "I understand you weren't hit by any bodily attacks? During the mission?"

"No. Not that I know of. Mayana staged an attack with her vines as a ruse. That was nothing. I used genjutsu, but I must have miscalculated somewhere and used up all chakra, even reserve. It's not immediately afterwards that I fainted, but there was a lag wherein I could move normally. Then, there was an enemy after me. I couldn't move. I passed out so I don't know what happened after."

"She was not touched," Sasuke said. "Her comrades saw to that."

He spoke as if he saw with his own eyes, she thought, avoiding even looking to his direction. Sakura bit her lip. Was he the one who had to rescue her again, she wondered.

"It wasn't a problem of technique," he spoke on. "There were extraneous factors that influenced the fight."

"Yes," the young medic nodded thoughtfully. "That's true, Haruno-san."

Sakura looked up to the earnest brown eyes of the child. It seemed something important was about to be said.

"Haruno-san, we took the liberty of running certain tests on your blood aside from the routine ones. No test is a hundred percent accurate, of course, and you really need to hear the heartbeat for the earliest objective sign. See, there's this hormone in your blood---"

Sakura already knew what the child was trying to say, but her mind refused to accept it. "It can't be," she mouthed in disbelief.

"Yes. Hinata-sama had confirmed seeing a second life force----"

"Impossible." Her face had become even paler and her hands shook as they went to her face. "I tested myself."

"It could have been a fluke," the medic said gently. "It happens. Were there other signs?"

"Anorexia, amenorrhea, moodswings, fatigue," Sakura recited. "I attributed them all to depression."

"Were you?" The child came closer to her and took her hand to offer support. "It's possible, what you said."

"I---" Sakura gasped when she remembered something. Her neck nearly snapped when she spun around to look at Sasuke. His dark eyes bore into her, unreadable and unsurprised.

He already knew.

Sakura breathed deeply, managed to keep tears in, kept her chest intact, and slowly turned away again, terrified and ashamed.

"Would you like privacy now?" the medic asked, an apologetic lilt made her voice rich despite her hushed tones.

"No," Sakura whispered back. "He has a right to hear this. I've already wronged him enough as it is." She swallowed, then in a louder, steadier voice, she said, "Please, doctor. Continue with your explanation."

The girl nodded. "It happens like this. A child is formed in the womb by the woman's body and becomes a part of it, in many ways. The body then has to take in more, ultimately uses up more energy and resources. Like hormones, the chakra flow in your body fluctuates, too, as it does its job. It's just more pronounced now, and additional stress like very high level jutsus have unpredictable results. As you know, chakra is derived from physical energy. When you performed that jutsu, I guess your body was unable to keep up and your chakra production failed. The jutsu thus consumed all other energy in you body, which is needed in cellular function, and basically, your body stopped working for some period of time. So you see, that's why many kunoichi are recommended to stay off the field—or the more challenging missions, anyway—while they're in the family way. You could literally drop dead."

There was a brief silence as Sakura digested the information she was given and its implications.

Then, finally... "I understand. Thank you." And she let go of the medic nin's hand.

The ensuing silence was ungracefully marred by the wailing of alarms from somewhere else in the building.

"I would have to ask to be excused, Haruno-san," the girl said. "A large party of injured ninja are coming. Meanwhile, please rest. Uchiha-san."

Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement. Yukimura Solilaea, medic ninja-in-training, then exited the room briskly, closed the door behind her softly, and left Haruno Sakura alone with the father of her child.

Again, nobody said anything for the longest while. Sakura was still trying to swallow the news she had just received from such a young face, a face, she realized, that was not much younger than hers. She had been anticipating this weeks before, had collapsed in disappointment and guilt when she thought it didn't happen after all, but now... it was numbing.

And worst of all, Sasuke was there. Sasuke had not said a word to her, nor her to him. She knew he had things to tell him, things to explain and discuss. But then, all she could think of was that she was sorry. She wanted to say it so badly, but her mouth wouldn't cooperate. She was sorry.

"I'm sorry."

Sakura started, but she kept her gaze on her hands and waited. He said what she wanted to say, but what was he sorry for, she wondered. That he knocked her up? That he couldn't have anything more to do with her? That he was manipulated into touching her? That he even knew her?

He sounded like he meant it, too.

"This happened because I'm weak," he continued quietly. He was now sitting at the foot of the bed, a few inches from the spot the medic nin had vacated. "It's such a bad time. War. I'm sorry."

"N-no," Sakura finally managed. "It's my weakness that caused this." This time, she looked at him fully, her heart in her eyes, pleading. "I know it doesn't look good. But I'll raise this child myself. I'll leave the village. Anything! You don't have to get involved. You don't have to do anything. But please, let me keep the child."

Sasuke twisted sideways to stare at her. Amazingly, what hint of emotion she could glimpse in those dark depths was raw pain... which was readily engulfed by abyss when he snorted derisively.

"But of course," he said. "If I could try to kill a friend to gain power for vengeance, why not coerce another to become my breeding sow? It's logical. It's consistent. Very possible." He paused to suck in air, continued to struggle with some inner upheaval. "Yes, I can do that. I can deliberately steal your life. I've done it."

Sakura's mouth was hanging open. He thought she thought he was using her? That he somehow manipulated her into this? But wasn't it her who...?

"You didn't!" she protested. "Never! I thought, I did. I thought..."

"And what prevented this 'biological response' from happening last year?" he challenged her in a low growl that could almost be described as furious. "The year before? When we were eighteen? Or fifteen? Thirteen?"

Somehow her mind bypassed what his questions entailed, and yet, was able to come up with an answer to them swiftly. "So you did think you'd die in that mission," she snarled in spite of herself. "Liar!"

"It was a possibility," he replied calmly. Perfectly controlled. Terrible.

Her weak laugh came out more like a whimper. "I'm sorry," she said. "I guess, I'm just unlucky."

"You don't want this."

"No, no, no!" she protested desperately. "Like you said, it's not the best time... Not the best circumstance... I mean, yes! I mean, no. I mean, you don't want this. Regardless of what I want, I mustn't, I shouldn't have. This child, this... this—me!----would be a weak point, a hindrance.... seeds for more bad memories. You don't want this. I understand."

"Not want this?" His eyes drifted to some spot behind her head. His voice lost the steely defensiveness that tempered the emotions he deemed forbidden. "Not want another of my blood in this world?"

She faltered. "Then you don't hate me?" she asked in disbelief.

"Hate you?" he echoed her. "Do you remember the time team 7 first assembled? My ambitions. I mentioned two."

She had nothing to say. It was numbing.

It was numbing.

"So you really don't remember." He smirked. "Unlike me."

"But you told me!" Sakura insisted in a broken voice. "Before you left, you asked me if I knew what Chouji and Shikamaru were handing to fate. You asked me!"

"Hn. And you thought I'd back down to fate, cowardly and weak till the end."

They were silent. Sakura sat, stunned by Sasuke's reaction, his cryptic revelations... But she was happy, she realized slowly. Happy. Her child was not unwanted after all. Her child would have a father.

Still, there were other things implied that weren't necessary to come to pass, sacrifices that were uncalled for.

"Sasuke."

"Aa."

"You brought me to the hospital."

He nodded.

"You caught me when I fainted during the Nameless One's attack."

Another nod.

She smiled at him then, her eyes sad but clear, for she had blinked away the tears starting to bud at the corners. "You don't have to keep catching me all the time, you know."

"Neither do you."

"But I want to." Her smile turned bitter. "And you told me you couldn't give me what I wanted. I'm okay with that. I promise."

"That was what you wanted? Permission?" His voice sounded somehow resigned, slightly bemused.

"You can put it that way. Figuratively. In summary."

He looked at her and, with his usual solemnity, commanded, "Catch me, then."

She searched his serious face, overwhelmed with awe and slivers of trepidation. "This is too easy. This is crazy. What then couldn't you give me that night? That thing you said I wanted?"

"I am shinobi; you are kunoichi. We have pledged our lives to the Leaf. There are no assurances."

Sakura goggled at him for a few moments, then collapsed back against her pile of pillows, half-laughing, half-crying. "Sasuke, I think we really should work on our communication. It'll head off so much suffering for both of us."

"I was trying that," he retorted in mild irritation that was unmistakably laced with embarrassment. She was almost sorry for him.

Almost.

"Since we're 'communicating' now, tell me what changed your mind."

"..."

"You just admitted to me a while ago that you're a damned liar, Sasuke-kun. Twice!" She glared at him the best she could, ruddy-cheeked, swollen-eyed, slobbery as a dog. "Tell me."

He signed; again, he sounded resigned to his fate. "I realized something yesterday," he muttered.

"And that is?"

"Neither can you."

"Neither can I?"

"Promise me the idealized world I lost as a child."

"Oh," she murmured, abashed. "I see."

A pause. Then...

"Was that a yes?" he asked.

"Was that a question?"

Sasuke's intent was to smirk, of course, but the mirth that lurked in his eyes undeniably turned it into a smile.

120304 01:40

Thanks to seiyo for "pre"-reading this chapter. :)

Notes:

Whew. This chapter was a toughie. It's on the shortside, because I forgot about the Finals week. -.-; I hope you enjoyed this update, NuttyScribbler, kodii-chan, Zero2-the-scyther, and Mrs. Uchiha. And yes, trickmaster, your verses entertain me. ) Almost exclusive Sasuke-Sakura interaction in this one, Icarus'Song. Hope you it serves.

I'm glad you like where I cut the fic off, animEvivvErz. Sasuke actually had answer in the original draft but I removed it since I thought it lessened the impact of the question. So actually, emir, I didn't realize Chapter 8 was a cliffhanger, because I removed his answer at the last minute. Ahahahaha... Sasuke's fault. P

Poor Naruto, indeed, this is s e x. I think his anger/hurt is justified, though he probably notices more than he lets on. So Mikazuki, I don't think Sasuke's that safe yet, just because Naruto didn't kill him in this chapter. Not that Naruto is safe now, just because Neji didn't kill him in chapter 8. We'll see who dies first. laughs evilly

I love you, too, Neptune. LOL. What ficwriter wouldn't with your thorough feedbacks? XD Ah, I've seen that snow fight. (Though what I remember most about the Trust & Betrayal OVA is the "rain of blood" when the Battousai first meets her. And all the other spurting blood. LOL) Ohhh... I think it's because Kenshin always associates Tomoe with white plum. And Sakura is... sakura. Maybe that's one of the reasons why it reminds you of the scene. I'm glad the imagery was a success, though. The images had been in my head for so long, but I couldn't put it into words. ::bangs head::

::huggles Shikamaru::. Always happy when readers enjoy the ShikaIno. Never thought I'd write them to that depth. Or love them for that matter. : )

Yoka, the "Dying Sun" is Sakura's own genjutsu, which she developed herself (in this fic anyway. LOL). Both Naruto and Sasuke are familiar with it, being her friends. As for the letter... ahahaha... all in good time.

Ori, I haven't been reading many fanfics for the past months so I can't say I've read lots of fics about Sakura getting pregnant, too. Actually, when the premise of this fic first came to me, I hadn't decided on which pairing to use. I settled on SasuSaku because I thought those two characters had the most potential to be developed using the premise (and because I'm a rabid fan. ::cough::). But when the story progressed, I suddenly had misgivings about making Sakura pregnant. Until I started writing chapter 9, I was actually still contemplating keeping Sakura not pregnant. Why? Because I thought it'll be healthier for both if they take their relationship in steps. However, the fic was already set up to lead to the events of chapter 9, so in the end, I followed my outline. (Besides, the two seem to grow well in hard times, anyway) . I hope I didn't disappoint you terribly. As for Sakura becoming a housewife... Well, there's still one chapter left. XD

And last, but not least, Midnightcrow: Happy Birthday! Yes, I'm cheap, broke, and exiled five thousand miles or twelve time zones away, so you'll have to settle for this as a gift. Ahahaha.. --; And yes, this fic got long because of the subplots (they were necessary though. I think).Oh, did I ever mention that the ShikaIno subplot was partly your fault? P

Belated Happy birthday to Luckychan, as well. :) ::glomp::

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. They're always very much appreciated.

Chapter 10 & Epilogue: 121904

Last (I promise): Good luck to people with finals like me. LOL