A/N: Um... Yeah, I should be working on my other Gravi story, since everyone seems to love it. However, I was very displeased with the second chapter, so I'm going to rewrite that over break and add a third or maybe even fourth one as well. Thus, if you're looking forward to the continuation of "Never Look Back", you just might get it. In any case, this is my spur of the moment ficcy, and at most, it'll be three parts. Kinda wanting to check out a new writing style.

Inebriated

7:00 A.M.

Commonplace.

Everything that was happening had happened before. It was all but a simple routine, yet nevertheless, an effective one. Any friend that happened to glimpse in wouldn't feel the slightest suspicion at the state of the apartment and its inhabitants.

After all, the singer was bustling about, shouting nonsense, breaking utensils. The author was quiet and withdrawn, smoking his cigarette, reading his morning paper. What could possibly be wrong? If nothing else, this scene expressed the relationship of Shindou Shuichi and Yuki Eiri to the must accurate degree.

But...even that which seems most normal can simply be an illusion to the outsider.

As for those who know, they aren't deluded.

The former, although blinded by the feelings of love, can't quite forget the cuts and scratches all over his body.

The latter, although protected by the effects of alcohol, can't quite forget the agonizing screams of pain.

8:00 A.M.

It was when the door shut with a final click that the all-famed novelist dared question himself.

How could Shuichi still smile at him?

Although only fragments of the previous night remained in his memory, Yuki wasn't stupid. He could easily deduce just what horror he had committed upon his sweet little lover.

Or rather, no. Not lover. Boyfriend, roommate, burden, maybe. But not lover.

Yuki would never allow himself to believe the stupid boy's proclamations of love. At best, he's a long-lasting fuckbuddy. Sooner or later, Yuki would drive him away with his mannerism, or perhaps Shuichi would get tired of it and leave without prompting. It was all a matter of time.

Maybe that was it. Maybe that was why Yuki had done those horribly wrong things in his drunken state. It was because he subconsciously wanted to get rid of Shuichi. Surely the boy wouldn't return now, not after he'd seen what Yuki was capable of.

And somehow, that brought a sense of discomfort to the icy one.

As Shuichi plodded down the snow-covered Tokyo streets, he began to contemplate.

Why was Yuki still so cold?

He loved Yuki, he really did. It wasn't just some teen's easily-faded feelings; his love stayed. Even though Yuki ignores his constantly and yells at him often, he never gave up, not for five whole years.

And one would think that something had changed in all that time.

At least, Shuichi thought so. Just these recent weeks, Yuki opened up a bit more. Sometimes, he'd allow Shuichi a pat on the head. Other times, he'd simply lean over and give him a kiss. On rare occasions, he might even permit Shuichi to sit in his lap and rest against his chest while watching television.

So what brought on this terror? Though he didn't want to recall how he had been slammed against the wall and then been forced to...it wasn't exactly something that was easily forgotten.

For peace of mind, Shuichi concluded that Yuki was had just been drunk. Perhaps he was stressed by an upcoming deadline, or maybe his brain was suffering from writer's block. That was it.

But what if Yuki had done it because he was angry at him?

12:00

It was by mere chance that Yuki's mouse hit the clock at the bottom right corner of his laptop. The date popped out and read "December 25th".

Racking his brain for the reason as to why the date stood out so much, Yuki finally recollected that it was Christmas.

So why had Shuichi ran out of the house for work this morning? No one works on Christmas day, not even those at NG. Yuki definitely remembered Tohma telling him that.

Had Shuichi really left him? Had he run to Hiro? Is he crying right now?

The questions filled Yuki with dread, and that was the one thing he wanted to avoid.

Tohma must have called Shuichi sometime this morning and asked him to work overtime. Bad Luck was a popular band, after all.

Shuichi wondered if Yuki had figured out that there was no work today, though he seriously doubted it.

Heaving a depressed sigh, he took a seat on the cold bench. Thinking back now, this was the place he first met Yuki Eiri.

And for just a moment, he wished he never did.

He remembered his excitement last night for Christmas Eve. It was the one night in the year that just felt so magical, and he knew something good would happen.

In such a good mood was he that he had even baked something which, in any case, resembled a cake. Pride had bubbled up in him and he could barely contain his anticipation for the appearance of his love, who had been at a book signing.

So one can imagine the shock he suffered when the door opened and Yuki stomped in, reeking of alcohol.

Shuichi, frozen for but a moment, had timidly called out to Yuki, asking if he was alright. But all he received in response was the other man's lips crushing his with bruising ferocity. He had known it wasn't a loving gesture, and had been terrified out of his mind

The rest, even an idiot can piece together.

This very morning, when Yuki hadn't even muttered the smallest apology to him or shown regret of any sort at all, Shuichi couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to face the fact that Yuki might not care for him after all.

5: 00 P.M.

Lying lackadaisically on the couch, Yuki glanced at the clock again.

Shuichi should be home by now.

Not that Yuki wanted him here, of course. It's just that no matter his actions, the singer would always come tumbling back, asking for forgiveness.

Although, nothing ever was his fault. It was just Yuki being selfish and stupid, especially this time.

Taking a long drag of his cigarette, Yuki suddenly recalled a conversation with Shuichi that greatly unnerved him.

It wasn't so much of a big deal when being told then, but now, under his blanket of insecurity...it seemed frightfully possible that Shuichi just might turn to someone else...

End Part 1

End Notes: And that's that. Still debating on whether or not I want to continue it, so I'll see the responses and decide. Kinda want to have this done on Christmas and make it into a sweet little Christmas ficcy. Um...probably not the best of my works, so if you suggestions on how to make it better, I'll definitely look into it and revise it to the best of my ability. Thanks, and happy holidays. )