18
Episode Five "Mixed Signals"
Doug Witter arrived at the beach and looked around, hoping to stumble upon his brother. He finally had a day off work and decided it was time to visit Pacey in Boston. He hadn't seen him in over four months and he felt somewhat responsible for the bad turns Pacey's life had taken last spring.
Maybe it wasn't his fault, but he felt bad that he hadn't been there for his brother when he obviously needed him. Whether Pacey admitted it or not, he needed to know someone cared, that at least one family member actually worried about what happened in his life.
He had Pacey's home address in hand, but knew that he would be at work right now and decided to head past the block of apartments and go straight to the Marina. He stood back and watched as his brother walked down the docks, stopping to talk to a young boy who Doug assumed was also working at the Marina. He really was proud of his brother and everything he had managed to accomplish.
Doug walked down to where Pacey was and waited until he noticed him. Pacey carried on, talking to the boy and then turned around and walked straight into his brother.
"Jeez Doug, get in my way why don't you!" Pacey exclaimed as he brushed past Doug on his way to the office. But then he stopped and did a double take as he looked at his brother. "Doug! What are you doing here?"
"Well I had a day off from work and Dad sent me to come and check on you," Doug lied. "I of course had no desire to see you little brother." His tone told Pacey that he was lying.
"It's okay to admit you missed me Dougie." Pacey grinned, truly happy to see his brother. "When did you get in?"
"Just now. I came straight here." He gestured to the bag in his hand.
"So I'm assuming you want your wonderful little brother to provide you with accommodations for your stay."
"You say that like I never let you stay in my house before." Doug rolled his eyes.
"I don't think I can leave work right now, but if you want to go and freshen up in the apartment you can."
"Yeah. That would be great."
"Drue's probably still asleep since it's Saturday so take my key." He went into his office and dug out his house key and gave it to Doug. "Second floor. Apartment 69," he instructed.
"Thanks Pace."
"No problem. I'll be done with work in an hour or so and then we can do something, yeah?"
"Sure."
-&-
Joey sat at her desk typing an email. Dawson had finally gotten back to her a few days ago and sent her a long email. But he didn't say anything about the message she had left him. He mentioned that he spoke to Pacey and hoped everything was going good in Boston and then described what he was doing in about two pages.
Joey had been worried that she had really hurt his feelings, but from the looks of things he didn't even get the message. Not that it really mattered if he did or not. And Joey had to admit she had felt better after sending the message. Just saying what was on her mind, whether Dawson heard it or not, made her feel a little more free.
She was replying with her usual brief catch up on what had been going on with her life. Because Dawson wasn't there to experience everything she was going through with her it was hard for her to write about everything that was going on like she normally would have. But she didn't mind. She liked that they stayed in contact, emailing each other every few weeks while still being independent.
Joey looked up as her roommate exited the bathroom and passed behind her.
"Emailing Dawson?" she asked as she towel-dried her hair.
"Yeah. Although I don't really know what to say; 'Hey Dawson. Everything is fine here. Hope you're having fun. Love Joey.' Doesn't seem like an email you send someone who's supposed to be one of your best friends." Joey laughed.
"Especially when you really want to email Pacey and say, 'Hey Pacey. Can you please come over so we can make mad passionate love together? Love you so much, Joey." Stacy joked and Joey threw a towel at her. "You know that's what you want to say."
"Maybe." Joey laughed.
"He still hasn't come to the dorm yet. I want to meet the boy!" Stacy grinned.
"He doesn't need to come here because he doesn't ever NEED to see me."
"I'm sure he does. He's just too scared."
"Maybe." Joey went silent and Stacy just watched her roommate.
"You want him back don't you?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean?"
"I love Pacey. I love spending time with him. I love everything about him. But I don't deserve him," Joey admitted.
"Don't be silly, Joey. Not deserving him is just bullshit. You know you two are meant for each other. You're just scared that you'll make the same mistakes again."
"I don't want to hurt him."
"So don't."
-&-
Jen turned over in bed, trying to get more comfortable. She smiled in her sleep as a strong arm held her close to their body. Opening her eyes she smiled at Drue who was staring down at her.
"Mornin'," he whispered, before bending down to kiss her. Jen smiled inwardly, kissing her boyfriend thoroughly.
She sat up, stretching the muscles that had tensed due to her uncomfortable sleeping position. She looked over at Drue who got up to turn the little TV he had in his room off. They had been sitting up in his room watching movies, talking, and cuddling together until late at night. They had fallen asleep together half way through the second movie and slept through the rest of the night.
"You're so sexy in the morning." Drue grinned at Jen's still half-asleep look even though it was getting close to eleven o'clock.
"I thought I was always sexy." Jen pouted, hiding her grin. Drue leaned over the bed and looked into her eyes.
"Oh you are." He kissed her softly and pulled back. "You're just extra sexy now."
"You're being awfully nice for a guy who didn't even get laid last night," Jen joked, finally getting up.
"Who said I didn't get laid? I could've sworn we did it many times last night." Drue grinned, grabbing Jen, as she was about to walk past him into the bathroom.
"No, that happened after we fell asleep. You know, in your dreams." Drue pulled her closer to him, hugging her tightly.
"And you were so good." Drue shook his head jokily.
"So you think I could live up to the dream me?"
"Oh definitely. The dream you has got nothing on the real you!" Jen grinned, kissing Drue again before pulling away. Jen moved out of his grasp and went into the bathroom that was connected to his room.
Drue waited patiently for her, smiling to himself. Waking up with Jen in his arms made him feel such a rush of love towards her. Just holding her, seeing her face when he woke up. It just made everything else worthwhile.
Jen came out of the bathroom and went to grab her stuff.
"You going?" Drue asked.
"Yeah. I told Jack I'd meet him today. We haven't spent that much time together lately." She looked pointedly at him.
"Are you somehow implying that's my fault?"
"No, of course not." Jen's tone was laced with sarcasm. "Now escort me out," Jen said, in a rich snob voice.
"Oh, of course your majesty." Drue bowed down in front of her jokily and then took her hand and headed out.
-&-
"I swear, your brother comes to visit you for ONE day and you can't leave your precious work behind," Doug complained, as they both headed away from the Marina. Doug had gone back to the apartment and freshened up and then came back to see if Pacey was ready to do something together.
"Hey, I took the time off didn't I? Just takes a bit of time to sort out some cover," Pacey explained. "Jeez. You'd think you actually like spending time with me." Pacey rolled his eyes as he headed towards his apartment.
"Nah, I told you. Dad sent me," Doug lied.
"Dad doesn't give a shit what I do." He said the fact lightly, not really holding any noticeable resentment.
"So, do you like being your own boss?" Doug said, steering the topic away from their Dad.
"I'm not my own boss."
"Yeah I know. But around the Marina you are the boss right? You just get paid by a higher power to be boss."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm pretty much in charge of the Marina. It's cool. Means I can always get someone to take over when my brother decides to stop by for a surprise visit," Pacey joked. They reached the apartment and Pacey pulled out his keys from his pocket. "So what do you want to do tonight?"
"Actually I did actually have some work to take care of tonight."
"Work?" Pacey rose his eyebrows. However good and far reaching Doug thought the Capeside PD was, he knew they were pretty much limited to the small town.
"I have a friend I need to see," Doug answered vaguely. Pacey was going to question him further as they walked into the apartment but the sight of Drue spread over the couch distracted him.
"Why are you lying there grinning like an idiot?" Pacey asked, walking into the kitchen to get himself a drink. Drue sat up and looked at Doug.
"Deputy Doug! Sorry I'm not available for the man dance anymore, I'm a taken man." Drue grinned and Doug just glared at him. And then turned to glare at Pacey who walked into the room with two beers.
"I swear those gay jokes are getting so tired," Doug complained. "Why don't you try them on Jack or something?"
"No fun," Pacey answered. "He actually IS gay."
"So I get all this grief because you actually know I'm NOT gay?" Doug rose his eyebrows, not seeing his brother's logic.
"That and it seriously pisses you off," Drue added. Doug rolled his eyes at both guys.
"So, where's Jen?" Pacey asked.
"She just left. She's spending some quality time with Jackers this morning I think."
"Morning? It's nearly midday."
"Yeah, well we went to sleep pretty late." Pacey rose his eyebrows, questioningly. "We fell asleep watching movies," Drue added.
"Did I, in anyway, imply that you weren't watching movies?" Pacey said in a condescending tone.
"Shut up Witter." Drue rolled his eyes.
Pacey looked at his brother who had finished his drink.
"So what do you want to do now?" Pacey asked. "I've got a couple of hours before I have to be back at the Marina."
"Cool. You can show me around your new town."
"Sure." Pacey got up. "You feel like coming Drue?"
"Nah. Did the whole tourist thing when we got here."
"Okay. See you later." Pacey picked up his keys and followed Doug out the door.
-&-
Jen left her dorm after she'd changed into clothes that were different to what she was wearing yesterday, and made the small trek to Jack's dorm. Knocking on the door she waited for an answer. She had told Jack that she would come over today. But she said it would be morning, which it obviously wasn't. She was glad they hadn't made any definite plans though. She had just mentioned that she might come by.
She knocked again but there was still no answer. Based on the fact that guys were generally more irresponsible than women, she tried the handle and as expected the door was unlocked. She walked inside; knowing Jack wouldn't mind her waiting inside.
She went and sat on the small couch, hoping that he had just popped out and would be back soon. She figured she may as well wait a while, she didn't have much else to do. She sat there for a couple of minutes before the door opened. She turned, hoping Jack had returned.
Instead she was faced with Paul, who looked surprised but happy to see her there.
"Jen! You scared me!"
"Sorry." Jen stood up as Paul came towards her.
"What are you doing? Is Jack changing or something?" He gestured to the closed door leading to Jack's room.
"Actually no. He's not here. I was just waiting for him to get back but I'm not sure where he's gone," Jen explained. "I was actually about to leave since it doesn't look like he'll be back anytime soon. You don't happen to know where he is do you?" Jen asked.
"No, sorry. But you're welcome to stay as long as you like." Jen looked at Paul. Even though he seemed genuine she knew that Paul had a thing for her so she thought better than to encourage him in any way.
"It's ok. I'll just catch up with him later. If you just tell him that I came by that would be great." Jen smiled politely and headed for the door.
"Sure. See you around Jen." Paul followed her to the door and watched her walk away.
-&-
Drue sat at his desk trying to make sense of the different psychological definitions he had to learn for his Psychology course but he couldn't concentrate. It was a beautiful day outside and he just wanted to go out and enjoy the sun.
Jen had called him to make plans to go to the beach but it would take her at least another half an hour to get to his place. In the meantime he had to get some work done so that he wouldn't suffer for it later.
The phone rang, providing Drue with a welcome distraction. He went to pick it up, seriously hoping it was Jen.
"Hello?"
Unfortunately, the person on the other end was definitely not Jen. An unexpected call from his Dad was not a welcome distraction at all. It usually meant he wanted something from Drue and most probably it was something Drue would hate.
He talked pleasantly through the small talk his father was making, with the occasional 'fine' or 'whatever' or 'I'm ok,' waiting for the bomb to drop.
"What!" Drue screamed into the phone. His Dad was such a prick. "You can't do that to me." He paused, clenching his fists together as he listened to his Dad's screaming.
"You have no right…I understand that… There's no way I'm gonna do it," Drue muttered down the phone. "Fine. Bye!" Drue shouted before abruptly hanging the phone up. What was he going to do now?
-&-
Pacey was back at work, fixing a boat, which had needed some work done, after leaving his brother in town to fend for himself. It was an unusually hot day in the sun for the end of October, and Pacey had pulled his T-shirt off and draped it over his shoulder for the time being.
"Hey Pacey." He looked up and smiled up at the brunette standing in front of him.
"Sarah. Hey." He stood up so that he could talk to her more easily. "What you doing here?"
"Stalking you of course." Pacey rose his eyebrows. "Kidding. Jeez. I'm just enjoying this rare October summer day at the beach." She pointed to where a bunch of her friends were lying on the beach. "I remembered you telling me you work here so I thought I'd pay you a visit."
"Oh how kind of you." Pacey smiled at Sarah before turning back to work on the boat.
"So is this what you do all day?"
"What?"
"Work?"
"It's what I'm paid to do."
"I guess. You know that's all I've ever seen you do. Even over the summer. I thought you were supposed to be this wild fun guy?"
"Who told you that?"
"I have my sources." Sarah grinned.
"So you've been doing a little investigating on me huh?" Pacey grinned a little.
"Nah. Well, maybe a little. Had to know what I'm getting myself into if I decide to show you how to have fun again." Pacey turned to her and arched his eyebrows. "In the completely platonic way of course."
"Of course." He nodded. "So, what are you getting yourself into?"
"You tell me."
-&-
Joey walked down the beach smiling to herself. She thought she would get out of her dorm and enjoy the sun today despite the essays she had to write. She knew she wasn't going to get any work done. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Pacey, and was once again contemplating whether or not she should make some extra effort to get him back.
So she figured since she would be thinking of Pacey all day she may as well go and pay him a visit. He was at work and she was sure he wouldn't mind the distraction.
She walked up from the main end of the beach towards where the Marina. She wasn't really in a good mood but she knew that spending time with Pacey would make her feel better. But as she approached she was shocked to see that she wasn't the only one who would be distracting him from his work.
She was already upset seeing Pacey standing pretty close to a girl and laughing about something. But when the girl turned slightly to the left Joey saw that it was actually Sarah and that upset her even more.
She took a deep breath, trying not to get jealous. Or trying to convince herself that she wasn't jealous. She had to accept that Pacey was allowed to have other girl friends. He could speak to girls that were not her and he was even allowed to have other girlfriends if he wanted to.
They weren't together anymore and it had been her own fault. Pacey was entitled to move forward and date again or whatever he wanted to do. He didn't need her permission. Obviously he didn't think so either as he seemed engrossed in whatever Sarah was saying.
Not being able to stand the torture of watching them any longer, Joey turned and left the beach. In a far worse mood than she had arrived in.
-&-
Drue and Jen sat at the far end of the beach on a large sun bed. Drue was lying on the chair and Jen was lying on top of him, her back to his front. Drue's arm firmly holding her close to him.
"So Jack wasn't there. I waited for about ten minutes, but he didn't show. So you know, I have that huge paper to do for next week, I thought I'd get a head start on that."
"Hmmmm," Drue answered, distractedly. The call from his Dad had really messed him up. Apparently his Dad's new job required him to give off the impression of a family man. Not a man who sleeps with women half his age. So he had decided he wanted to ship Drue back to New York.
"So I decided to strip down in front of my entire English class for it."
"That's nice," Drue mumbled. He couldn't leave Boston. He couldn't leave Jen. But maybe he would have to. His Dad was currently paying for his tuition at BU and at the snap of his fingers it could be cut off, leaving Drue with nothing and no choice but to go to New York.
"Drue!" Jen turned to him, pulling him out of his daze. "Have you even been listening to a word I've said?" Drue looked down apologetically.
"I'm so sorry babe. What were you saying?"
"Never mind. What's wrong with you?" Jen's voice softened, noticing the change in Drue's behavior.
"Nothing. Really. I'm sorry." Drue tried to assure her.
"It's okay. So I started on the paper…"
"What paper?"
"The one I told you about. For English. Needs to be done by next week," Jen said slowly and Drue nodded.
"Oh right. Okay."
"Well I started it," Jen quickly said, thinking it was time for a topic change. "Do you want to go out tonight? For dinner or a movie or something?" Jen asked.
"I…" Drue looked at Jen. He wasn't being fair to her. He just couldn't stand the thought of being separated from her again. He needed to think about what he was going to do. "I can't. I'm sorry. I've got a lot of work to do." He sat up, moving her out of his lap so he could stand up.
"Drue…"
"I just remembered I have to do something. I'll call you later or something," Drue made up quickly before walking away, leaving a very confused Jen behind.
-&-
"Asshole," Jen muttered, entering her dorm room. She was holding her sandals in one hand and the rest of her picnic stuff in the other. "He's such a prick sometimes," she shouted, dropping everything on the bed.
"That's it. Let it out." Jen jumped at the sound of her roommate's voice. Brenda was sitting on her bed reading before Jen had walked in.
"Oh god, Brenda. You scared me."
"Sorry."
"No it's ok."
"No. Sorry for whoever the prick is." Brenda smiled.
"Oh. Drue. Well he's not a prick. He was just acting like one today," Jen explained, not knowing why Drue had been so cold to her.
"You wanna talk about it?" Brenda asked. Jen smiled gratefully. They had been living together for nearly two months and hadn't really shared anything with each other. Brenda closed her book and made space on her bed. "Come on." She patted the space on her bed. "Spill." Jen smiled slightly and went and sat on Brenda's bed.
"I don't actually know what happened. This morning everything was fine. We were just on the beach and he was being really quiet. I asked if he wanted to go out tonight and he got up and ran faster than…well faster than I could say anything really."
"Strange," Brenda mused. "My guess. Something's going on with him and he wants to deal with it on his own. You know how guys have issues about opening up."
"I know. They suck." Jen grinned.
"Unless he's really an asshole which means there could be some other problem. But judging by the amount of time you spend with him I'm guessing he's pretty decent."
"Yeah he is…Normally."
"Good. Never fall in love with a genuine asshole. Doesn't work out. Ever." She grinned as she said it, but Jen could see she was talking from experience.
"I know. Been there, done that." Jen smiled.
"Where are you from again?" Brenda asked.
"Capeside. It's a little town in New England. But originally I'm from New York."
"Really? I'm from New York too. Lived there my whole life."
"I guess we have more in common than just thinking boys suck."
-&-
Joey came out of the local town library with a pile of books. She figured since her other plans for the day had been ruined she may as well start researching for her Philosophy paper. She turned the corner and nearly walked straight into someone.
"Sorry Officer Witter," she said naturally and then did a double take.
"Please Joey, you can call me Doug after all we've been through."
"Doug! What are you doing here?" She smiled, actually happy to see Pacey's older brother.
"Just visiting my brother. Making sure he keeps out of trouble. But I'm sure you take care of that on a daily basis." Joey smiled awkwardly. "So how have you been?" he asked as they fell in step together.
"Okay. College is going ok," Joey answered naturally. Doug was another person she had grown closer to over the summer. Bumping into him around town, casually asking if he had heard from Pacey, had turned into long conversations about Pacey and life in general.
"How are you finding the work?"
"Hard." Doug laughed.
"And other stuff?"
"You mean Pacey stuff," Joey stated matter-of-factly.
"Well I was going for tactful. But you know me too well."
"Of course I do. You're related to Pacey." Joey grinned. "And as for your answer. Pacey and me are fine. We've both moved on with our lives," she said through gritted teeth.
"What happened?"
"What?" Joey looked confused.
"You've got that 'he's moved on and I hate it' face on."
"Doug. I don't think that face even exists," Joey disputed.
"It does and you had it. There's a face for everything Joey. They teach you that in Police training. You can't lie to a cop you know." Doug grinned.
"It's nothing."
"Joey…"
"You're brother is so dense, you know. I mean what am I supposed to do? Throw myself at him."
"Well…"
"Don't answer that. And if you say 'he's just scared' I swear I will not be happy," Joey warned.
"Uh… He's not scared?" Doug joked and Joey hit him lightly.
"You are no help," Joey moaned.
"Sorry. Look I'm sure you guys will work it out. I know you will actually."
"And how is that exactly?"
"Because my brother is crazy about you." The way Doug said it made Joey smile.
"No he's not. And it's okay really. I can't hold him back. He has every right to talk to other girls and have other relationships."
"Who says he wants other relationships?"
"I do," Joey said sternly. "And he should."
"You're crazy Joey." Doug shook his head.
"I guess that makes two of us." Joey grinned. "I'm glad you came Doug."
"Me too. But I'm leaving tonight."
"What? Why?"
"I do have a job."
"I'm sure all the thousands of speeding cars will miss you," Joey said, sarcastically.
"That's exactly what my brother said."
"Well for once he's right," Joey argued.
"Next time you can come visit me. Christmas right?"
"Thanksgiving," Joey corrected. "Bessie would blow a fuse if I didn't come home for thanksgiving."
"Well then, tell Pacey he has to come home too. I can't deal with the family alone," Doug instructed. They had been so deep in conversation that they didn't realize that they had reached Joey's college.
"I will. I'm glad I bumped into you, literally." Joey smiled.
"Me too. See you soon. And take care of that brother of mine. He needs you whether he admits it or not." Doug smiled before turning and walking back in the direction they had just come from.
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Jen sat in her room, trying to study. Her mind kept drifting to her boyfriend, wondering what was wrong with him. The phone was right next to her, as she waited for it to ring. She tried to concentrate on her work, but she couldn't help it. Drue was consuming her thoughts.
She didn't like it when he closed up. She hated not knowing what he was thinking or feeling. She had gone through everything she had said or done all day, trying to work out if maybe she had said something wrong. She tried to believe Brenda's theory that Drue was just dealing with something on his own, but she hated the fact that he was dealing with it alone. He shouldn't have to deal with anything without her help.
There was a knock on the door, pulling Jen put of her thoughts. She ran to get it, hoping it was Drue. Brenda looked over at her roommate, knowing who she was expecting. When she opened the door her face fell, but she quickly smiled to cover it up.
"Paul. Hey. What brings you by?" she asked.
"Well I felt like getting a cup of coffee and I figured it would be really boring if I drank alone. So, I thought you might want to join me?" Paul explained.
"Are you asking me out for coffee?" Jen tried to clarify.
"Yeah."
"I…"
"As friends of course. Just one friend asking another to drink coffee with them," Paul explained. Jen thought about it. She needed to get out of her dorm. Thinking about Drue constantly was not helping her. He would come to her when he was ready.
"Sure. Let's go." She smiled at Paul who grinned back at her. "Brenda I'm going out," she informed her roommate, before following Paul out the door.
-&-
Drue stood outside Jen's dorm. He knew he was being an ass when he blew her off earlier today. He shouldn't have taken his frustration out on Jen. She was the most important person to him and the thought of upsetting her killed him.
He had taken a long walk around town and thought about what his father had said to him. He knew he had to stand up to his Dad and tell him there was no way in hell he was moving back to New York. But first he had to go and beg Jen for forgiveness.
He knocked on the door and waited for an answer, praying that she was home.
"Uh…hi," he greeted Brenda as she opened the door.
"Hey. Drue right?"
"Yeah. Is Jen home?"
"No she's not. She just left a little while ago," Brenda said apologetically.
"Do you know where she went?"
"I don't know. I heard something about coffee though. Paul stopped by and they left together," Brenda said, not knowing that Paul wasn't one of the gang and bringing him up would upset Drue.
"Paul?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." Drue's mind was spinning. Jen had gone out with Paul? He tried not to get angry but he couldn't help it. "Uh…Thanks," he mumbled to Brenda, before walking away.
-&-
Jen and Paul sat by the window in a little café on the outskirts of town. They sat opposite each other, drinking their coffee. Actually Paul was the only one drinking, Jen was stirring the coffee thinking about Drue.
"So I decided on Boston because I just needed to get away. My friend was coming here and so I decided I'd try it out too," Paul explained, recounting the tale of why he chose Boston Bay.
"That's great." Jen smiled not being able to think of anything better to say.
"So what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Why did you choose Boston?"
"It's a good school."
"No other reason?" Paul asked.
"Well all my friends are here in Boston and I didn't want to leave them or my Grams. She moved to Boston too."
"How long have you and Jack been friends?" Paul asked.
"Uh…About three years," Jen said. She was trying to be interested in the conversation she and Paul were having, but all she could think about was Drue. As she was staring out the window, she saw a tall guy walk across the street, and for a second she thought it was Drue.
"What's wrong?" Paul asked, noting her expression and turning to see what she was looking at. The guy turned and she realized her mind was playing tricks on her.
"Nothing. I just thought I saw someone."
"Oh." There was silence for a few seconds. Paul didn't know what to say and Jen didn't really feel like saying anything.
"You know what? I think I should go. I'm sorry for being such bad company. I just have a lot on my mind," Jen apologized, standing up.
"No problem. You sure you don't want to talk about it?"
"No, I'm ok. I just really need to go and see someone." She started heading for the door, leaving Paul sitting there. "Thanks for the coffee."
-&-
"Hello."
"Hey Jo." His voice still brought a smile to her face. It didn't matter that she was still upset about what she had seen earlier. But she had told herself that what she saw was completely innocent. Pacey was allowed to talk to other girls.
"Hey Pace. What's up?"
"Nothing much. I'm at work but it's gotten quiet."
"It was pretty busy today, wasn't it?" Joey said naturally.
"Yeah. I was kinda hoping you would come by," Pacey admitted.
"I did. But you were busy." She stressed the last word but it went unnoticed by Pacey.
"I'm never too busy for you." Pacey grinned. "You should have said hi."
"Yeah. I had a lot of stuff to do today anyway."
"Are you busy now?" Pacey asked.
"Why?"
"Doug came for a visit and I thought you might want to see him. He has to go back tonight, but I was thinking I could pick you up after work." She smiled at the thought of Pacey caring so much.
"Actually I saw Doug already. I bumped into him in town," she explained.
"Oh." He had really just wanted to se her. He missed her when she wasn't around him.
"Well I'm sure you've got work to do or people to see, so I should let you go," Joey said quickly. She had decided that his moving on was probably best. She knew that she couldn't hold him back. He deserved to talk to other girls and have other relationships. She just wanted him to be happy.
"Uh…okay," Pacey said, confused at her abrupt tone.
"Maybe I'll see you later?"
"Sure. See ya Jo."
"Bye Pace." She put the phone down, telling herself not to cry.
"She just left! She's out drinking coffee with that idiot!"
"Paul is actually a pretty decent guy."
"Not helping Jack!" Drue exclaimed, throwing himself on Jack's bed. Jack just looked at him from his desk.
"You didn't even tell me what you argued about."
"It doesn't matter. We didn't even argue really."
"Well then what happened?"
"It's not important. The fact is, if she has no faith in our relationship there's no point in us being together," Drue moaned.
"You know that she does."
"Do I? All I know is that she's gone out with him!" Drue screamed. He knew that he was to blame for what happened earlier that day, but he couldn't believe Jen had so little regard for their relationship that she would just go out with another guy.
"They only went for coffee. They're friends," Jack tried to justify, although he didn't understand why Jen went with Paul. She should have known it would upset Drue.
"They're not friends. You two are friends. If she were out drinking coffee with you I'd have no problem. Paul's a guy who's been trying to get in her pants for weeks." Suddenly Drue sat up. "Oh god…what if they're…."
"Don't even think it. I know you're upset, but you know Jen wouldn't betray you."
"I know. I just don't understand," Drue said sadly.
"Neither do I."
-&-
"So this is it little bro." Doug turned to Pacey. They were at the train station waiting for Doug's train to be called. The day had gone by so quickly and Pacey hadn't even had much time to spend with his brother. He didn't like to admit it, but he actually enjoyed spending time with his brother. It made him feel like at least one person in his family actually cared about him.
"Thanks for coming Doug. Tell Dad I'm doing fine so he didn't need to send you." Pacey grinned; knowing that Doug was lying when he said their Dad had sent him. Pacey knew that his Dad didn't care about him. But knowing Doug did care made up for that.
"I'm glad you're doing okay, Pace," Doug said sincerely. "In case I don't say this enough, I'm proud of you."
"Aww Doug please. You're gonna make me cry," Pacey mocked, but really Doug's words made him feel so good inside.
"Now stay out of trouble. And don't let Joey go, even if she tried to convince you that's the right thing."
"What's that supposed to me?" Pacey rose his eyebrows.
"Let's just say she's losing her hope and leave it at that." Pacey still looked confused. "You know you love her. Don't let her forget it."
"Those are your words of wisdom huh?"
"Yep."
"They suck." Pacey grinned. Doug's train was called and he stood up.
"Bye Pace." Doug gave Pacey a small brotherly hug.
"I knew you were gay."
"Shut up." Doug smiled.
"Bye Dougie."
-&-
Jen knocked on the door, hoping that Drue was home. She needed to see him. She needed to know what was wrong. She needed to know if it was her, and if it wasn't she needed to be there for him. She waited and knocked, and waited and then knocked a little harder, but there was no answer.
Resigning to the fact that he wasn't home, she made the trek back to her dorms, just wanting to cry. She didn't know why Drue could make her feel this way. They hadn't even had a proper fight. She just had this horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach like something wasn't right, and she needed him to reassure her that she was wrong.
She reached her dorm but then decided to walk down to Jack's dorm in hopes that Drue might have been there.
"Jen!" Jack answered the door and noted her sullen state. He quickly pulled her inside. Drue had left about half an hour ago and now he wished that Drue had stayed. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know. Have you seen Drue?" Jack was about to answer when she carried on. "I'm totally overreacting, but Drue was acting really cold to me earlier today and I don't know why. I know he was probably just having a bad day or something but I can't help feeling miserable," Jen explained, dropping onto Jack's bed.
"Actually, Drue was here earlier." Jen sat up quickly.
"Did he say what was wrong?"
"No. But he went to talk to you a while ago and Brenda told him you went out with Paul."
"Oh great. Now if there wasn't anything wrong before, there is now!" Jen exclaimed.
"I'm sure it's not that bad." Jack tried to reassure her, but he knew how badly Drue had reacted to it. Which Jack didn't completely understand. Sure Drue got jealous occasionally but he was never really angry, something else was bothering him.
"I don't even know what was wrong with him. He was really strange this afternoon. And then he just got up and left me. We had planned to spend the day at the beach and he left like twenty minutes after we got there."
"I'm sorry, Jen. He didn't tell me."
"And now he's going to be jealous. Great!"
"Why did you go out with Paul?" Jack asked.
"I didn't. I mean it wasn't like a date or anything. I was miserable about Drue and Paul asked me if I wanted to go get some coffee." Jack rose his eyebrows. "As friends! I just needed to stop thinking about Drue so I went, but it was totally pointless because I couldn't get my mind off him anyway. I ended up leaving Paul at the Café."
"Ouch."
"He'll get over it. Right now I'm more worried about Drue," Jen mumbled. "I wish I knew what was wrong with him."
-&-
There was a knock on the door and Joey quickly got up and put her robe on. She was sitting in front of the TV in her PJs and she hadn't been expecting anybody. She opened the door and was shocked to see who was standing on the other side of it.
"Hey Potter." Pacey smiled at her, slightly nervous. "I wasn't sure if I had the right room. They all look the same, you know." Pacey tried to crack a joke.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, not moving.
"Well I was planning to come in and watch a movie but if you're not going to let me in I may have to rethink my plans." Pacey grinned and Joey moved out the way of the door.
"Sorry. Come in." She couldn't help getting excited at the thought of Pacey in her room.
"So what will it be Potter? Angst or Romance?" he asked, holding up the movies.
"You tell me," she said, and he didn't miss the double meaning.
"Uh…Romance it is. I think we've had enough angst to last us a lifetime." He handed the movie to her and she put it in while he settled on her bed. She turned and grinned at him. He had managed to work his way under the covers.
"You don't expect me to get in there with you do you?"
"Of course I do."
"I see. So this was all just a ploy to get me into bed?" She joked, getting in next to him.
"It worked, didn't it?" He grinned and then turned his attention to the movie. She smiled and snuggled up next to him.
-&-
Drue sat on the beach. It was his favorite place, especially at night. When it was just him and the sea. The only sound he could hear was the crash of the waves against the rocks. He felt like he could just wash away all his problems here. He wanted to scream and just let it all out.
Let all the hurt out.
But somehow it wasn't that easy. The thing he had been so afraid of losing, the person he cared about more than anyone else obviously didn't care as much. He had told himself not to get too close, but Jen had a way of making him forget. Making him forget to put the defenses up.
But he did today. And she just moved on. Maybe it was just coffee and maybe it didn't mean anything, but how soon before it becomes more? How soon before he gives himself to her completely and she gives nothing in return?
She walked up behind him, noting the spot he was sitting in. It was the spot where they had their first date. Their first kiss. Their first real kiss. She knew he would be here. She didn't know quite how she knew but she just did.
She stood behind him, not knowing what she should say. Not knowing what he was thinking. She hated not knowing what he was thinking. She knew he was the kind of guy who put the defenses up. But not with her. She didn't like not being able to tell what was wrong with him.
"How did you find me?" He said it quietly, not turning around. She was surprised he knew she was there, she had been really quiet and he hadn't turned around.
"I don't know."
"I thought you were out with Paul."
"It was just coffee."
"With Paul," Drue said dryly.
"Drue you know this isn't about Paul. It's about you."
"No Jen. It's about you," he said, turning to face her. It was always about her. It was about the power she had over him. The power of making him never want to leave her. The power of making him love her.
"I don't understand."
"You never did." He stood up and walked away, not even looking at her. It hurt to look at her. He knew that he was being irrational, but he had to be. He had to end it now or she would just hurt him. Hurt him like she always did, even if she didn't realize it.
"Drue!" she shouted after him, not understanding. "Don't walk away!"
But he kept walking. Leaving her behind. Leaving them behind.