Episode Nineteen "Uncharted Territory"
He stood still, just staring at her. His world spinning around him.
"He's our…what?" He managed to say, although he wasn't quite sure whether the words were really coming out of his mouth.
"Our son." She repeated.
He didn't move. Didn't do anything. Couldn't do anything. His head was still spinning. She sighed, realizing he wasn't going to say anything.
"Drue, I know this is a lot to take in, but can we just talk about it?" She said and he just nodded, moving out of her way.
She walked inside, taking in the apartment. He would have apologized for the mess, but his mind still wasn't grasping what she said. It had to be a mistake.
"Can I put him down somewhere?" She asked, motioning to the baby who had now fallen asleep in her arms.
"Sure. Uh, yeah, over here."
He walked into his room and she followed. He quickly fixed the bed and made some room for Ryan. She put the baby down, leaning over to kiss him on the forehead before walking back into the living room.
Drue just watched the boy for a second, letting his eyes linger on him just a little too long, before following her back into the living room.
"My name's Morgan Lakely. We met at Damon's 4th of July party three year's ago."
Drue's eyes suddenly flashed to that day and it all came back to him. He was usually pretty good at remembering people, even if they had only been one night stands. He remembered being drunk and generally out of it. He remembered her. He remembered…oh shit.
"That's when we…" He trailed off, still not believing that he was actually having this conversation.
"Yeah."
"But weren't we…"
"Obviously not careful enough."
"But it can't… He can't… It was only one night."
"That's all it took."
Drue ran his hands through his hair, trying his best to keep control of his emotions. He didn't know what to think or feel. How could he be a father? How could that child be his?
"How old is he?" Drue asked.
"Two."
"Two?" Drue repeated.
"I know this is a lot to take in…"
"No shit." Drue snapped and she winced. "I'm sorry. But you can't expect to turn up here after two years and just…"
"I know. I'm sorry. I wouldn't have even come here, but I need your help."
"I…He's two? And you're telling me now? Why didn't you tell me before?"
"Oh please. I was a one-night stand to you. I didn't mean anything. You were some stuck up rich kid with nothing better to do than waste your Dad's money on drugs and partying. What would you have done?"
"You don't know anything about me." Drue shouted. "I wouldn't have turned my back on you."
"And how was I to know that?"
"You didn't even give me a chance." His voice sounded so hurt that she softened.
"I know and I'm sorry. I thought I could do this on my own. I didn't think I needed you."
"And you do now?"
"Yes. I hate asking you for help but I need it. I can't support him on my own." Morgan said sadly.
Drue didn't say anything, still not really believing what was going on around him. It was as if he was in some alternate universe and this wasn't happening to him. Except it was.
"Listen, I know this is a lot to take in so I'm just going to go." She walked back into Drue's room and carefully picked Ryan up, cradling him in her arms. "This is my number, I'm staying with a friend." She handed him a piece of paper. "Just give me a call when you're ready to talk."
Drue nodded and she let herself out. He stood in his living room amidst the reminder of how carefree his life was yesterday, and then he fell back onto the couch. He had no idea what he was going to do now.
-&-
Jen got home at about eleven after her morning class, smiling and humming to herself. Usually she was grumpy after waking up early and going to class, but lately it seemed like nothing could spoil her good mood.
Last night had been amazing. Drue had really loved her surprise and she felt good knowing she had made his birthday memorable. It was their first one as a couple and she hoped not the last.
When Jen walked into her room she found Brenda sitting on her bed, staring into space
"Hey," Jen said, but Brenda didn't say anything.
Jen walked closer to her, looking confused. "Hello, anyone home?"
"Jen, you scared me." Brenda jumped a little, not having noticed Jen before.
"I see that. What's got you so spaced out?"
"Nothing." Brenda said quickly, but she couldn't help the blush that told Jen it definitely wasn't nothing.
"Come on, you can tell me."
"We kissed." Brenda admitted.
"And in we, I'm assuming you mean you and Noah?"
"No, me and Jack," Brenda said sarcastically. "Of course Noah."
"That's so great!" Jen said, her smile growing wide. Brenda's expression didn't change. "Not great?"
"No, it is. I think. I don't know."
"What's the problem?"
"This wasn't supposed to happen, Jen. I wasn't supposed to like Noah, I wasn't supposed to like anyone right now. I'm just starting to get my life sorted out. I only just learned how to live on my own."
"Exactly. You know how. So, you don't have to be alone."
"I can't…I'm not sure I can give Noah what he deserves."
"Why don't you let Noah be the judge of that?"
"I don't know. I'm scared."
"That's understandable. You've been through a lot. But that doesn't mean you should keep to yourself in fear of getting hurt. You have to take a chance."
Brenda just sighed.
"Okay answer me this. Do you like Noah?"
"Yeah."
"A lot?"
She paused before saying, "Yeah."
"And how was the kiss?"
"Amazing."
"I think that's your answer." Jen grinned.
"It's not that…"
"It can be that simple. Noah is just what you need right now." Jen said enthusiastically. "And there's nothing wrong with wanting him too. Just because you had a bad relationship, doesn't mean this one can't be good."
"Thanks Jen." She smiled, feeling better.
"No problem."
-&-
"I thought the concept of making the guests' of honor clean up their party was bad enough, but now that I'm the only one doing it, I think it's just plain unfair." Pacey grumbled as he picked up trash and stuffed it into the bag.
"Yeah, I wonder where Drue is."
"Probably left so he wouldn't get stuck with cleaning up."
"Aww poor baby." Joey leaned up and kissed her boyfriend softly on the cheek. She went back to helping him clean. "At least I'm helping you."
He grinned and turned, grabbing her from behind and lifting her up.
"Pacey! Oh my god, put me down!"
He put her down and turned her, leaning down to kiss her.
"We're not going to get this place clean if you carry on like that." Joey warned.
"Works for me." Pacey grinned, leaning in to kiss her again.
"Pace!" She pulled away slightly, trying to be stern.
"It's your fault for throwing a party."
"You didn't like it?" She started pouting and he just grinned.
"I loved it." Pacey smiled. "I love you."
"That's not going to make me stop cleaning and make out with you." Joey stated.
"Damn it."
She just laughed as they got back to work, cleaning the mess last night's festivities had left. They cleaned solidly for an hour, Joey making it very clear that Pacey would not get a reward until they were finished.
The room was almost back to normal when Pacey gave up and grabbed Joey, pulling her into a kiss. She melted into him, letting him do what he wanted.
The door opened loudly, breaking their sweet moment. Pacey pulled away from Joey as Drue walked in, not even acknowledging them.
"Hey Drue, what happened to you? You were supposed to help clean this place." Pacey said. Drue just looked around the room.
"Looks clean to me." He said before walking off to his room, slamming the door behind him.
"What the hell was that?" Joey said confused.
"I have no idea."
"I better leave you to it." Joey said, kissing him again softly. "Call me later?"
"Okay."
Pacey walked Joey to the door before turning and walking back to Drue's room and knocking. Usually he would just walk in but he thought better of it this time.
"Drue." He called through the door.
He didn't answer so, Pacey opened the door and walked inside. Drue was sitting on his bed, just staring into space. The curtains were still drawn and the room was dark.
"What's wrong?" Pacey asked, walking over to the bed.
"Everything."
"What happened? I thought everything was perfect yesterday."
"It was. Too fucking perfect."
"Okay, Drue, what happened?" Drue was really freaking him out now. He rarely saw Drue this down, the last time was when he and Jen were fighting. "Did something happen with Jen?"
"No. It's me. I fucked up."
"It can't be that bad."
"Oh, it is."
Drue didn't know what to tell Pacey. He didn't even really believe it himself. He spent the morning wandering around the town, just thinking, and thinking, unable to stop. But he still didn't know what he was going to do exactly. He didn't know what he could do. He still couldn't grasp the concept that he was a father.
"Well?" Pacey waited, but Drue couldn't bring himself to say it out loud.
"I can't…I just need some time to think about it first."
"Okay." Pacey nodded his understanding. "But I'm here if you need me."
"I know."
He got up and closed the door, leaving him to think. Whatever was on his mind, Pacey knew it was pretty big. He wondered if he should talk with Jen, but decided against it, knowing Drue would talk to her himself when he was ready.
-&-
Jack sat at the train station, holding his ticket in his hand. He'd left early in the morning after packing a few clothes in a bag. After his run in with David, he knew he had to get away and figure things out once and for all. He needed to see Tobey and work out what he was going to do about their relationship.
So here he was, sitting at the train station, wondering if he was making a big mistake. Would this even solve anything? Would he manage to break up with Tobey, or would he prove David right and not let go?
He didn't know what would happen but he knew he needed to do this.
-&-
Jen knocked on the door to the boys' apartment. She had taken a break from studying and thought she'd come and see what Drue was up to. Actually after last night she just couldn't stop feeling happy and thinking about Drue so she figured studying was a lost cause.
When there was no answer she fished through her bag, taking out her spare key. She was hoping that maybe Drue just hadn't heard the door. She opened the door and walked in, finding the apartment to be quiet.
"Drue." She called out, as she headed to his room.
She opened his door and just as she suspected she could hear the shower running in his bathroom. She got comfortable on his bed, waiting for him to come out.
A few minutes later she heard the shower turn off and Drue came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel around his waist. He was shocked to see her there but she didn't notice.
"Hey sexy." Jen grinned, walking over to kiss him.
He kissed her back, trying to concentrate on her and not the thoughts that had been taking over his mind today.
"I was beginning to think you were ignoring me."
"No, I…just had some things to do this morning." He said distractedly.
"Well I was studying…or trying to study, but I couldn't concentrate so I thought I'd see for myself what you were upto today." Jen said, smiling brightly.
"Right."
"So, what are you doing today?" She asked.
"Nothing."
"Good. I thought we could do something." Jen leaned up to him, kissing him again. He pulled away a little too soon and she frowned.
"Actually, I can't. I'm uh busy…"
"But you just said you weren't doing anything." Jen looked confused. "Is something wrong?" She ran her hand across his face, looking into his eyes. Her eyes were so full of concern and he couldn't take it.
"No." He said, slowly moving away from her. "Nothing's wrong."
He opened his closet, pretending to be searching for his clothes. He couldn't stand for her to be so nice to him after what he'd done. No matter how much he tried to get away from it, he always managed to screw up somehow. He always managed to hurt her.
"Just tell me." Jen said sternly, her stomach dropping. The happy butterflies she was feeling earlier disappearing.
"It's nothing, Jen."
"What happened?"
He turned to her trying to act like it was nothing. She saw right through it.
"Drue, tell me." She put her hand on his arm and he flinched.
Why was it that she knew exactly when he was lying? He could never lie to her. She always knew, she knew him too well.
"I…"
"Please?" She pleaded, already feeling the tears well up behind her eyes. She didn't even know what was wrong yet but she could sense from him that it wasn't good. She was in tune with his emotions and knew this, whatever it was, wasn't good.
"I don't know how to say it." He said finally, running his hands through his wet hair.
"Just tell me the truth. We promised, no secrets, remember?" She didn't know how things could have changed so much since this morning that Drue looked so scared, so worried.
"I had a visit from someone from my past this morning. Megan, this girl I…well I…we kinda…"
"You slept with her?" Jen said, her voice breaking on the words.
"Once…it was a long time ago. Before I moved to Capeside." Drue looked at his girlfriend, ready to hear what he was about to tell her and his heart broke. The thought of disappointing her, of hurting her was too much.
"Why was she here?" Jen asked finally, the silence too much.
"She…she had a kid with her. A boy. And apparently he's…mine. My kid." Drue said finally.
Jen took a step back, not sure if she had heard him right. His kid? This had to be a mistake. This couldn't be happening. Not to them. Not now. Not after…everything.
Drue looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. He watched as she was slowly backing away from him.
"Jen…please say something." She looked at him and didn't know what to say. She knew he was probably just as confused as she was, but she couldn't talk to him right now. She didn't know what to say.
"I…" She looked at him and then turned. "I can't." She ran out of his room, and out of the apartment.
"Jen…" Drue ran after her, but only got as far as the door, being dressed in only a towel. He watched her turn down the corridor and sighed.
Everything was so messed up.
-&-
Brenda walked towards the Marina, knowing that was where she would find him. She hadn't stopped thinking about the kiss all day. She had been slightly tipsy the night before, but that kiss had sobered her right up. The feel of his lips on hers was amazing. It was one of the best kisses she'd ever had. And now he was on her mind all the time.
She blushed as she remembered it. Damn it, she had to stop thinking about it. Arriving at the marina she saw him on one of the boats, cleaning the deck, his golden skin glistening in the sun. His shirt had obviously been discarded due to the sweaty nature of his work. This was not helping to keep her mind off his lips.
"Uh-hum." She cleared her throat and he turned, smiling at her.
"Hey," Noah greeted. He smiled as he took in her appearance. She was wearing a red tank top with jeans shorts. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, leaving her skin exposed.
"Hey." She smiled back at him.
They didn't say anything else for a few seconds, knowing that they should probably acknowledge what happened last night, but neither knowing what to say about it.
"So how's the head?" Noah said finally.
"What?"
"I thought you'd have a killer hangover after last night."
"I told you, I wasn't drunk." Brenda disputed.
"You took some aspirin for it?" He said knowingly.
"First thing in the morning." She agreed, laughing. "It was your fault, you know you shouldn't let me drink that much."
"Hey, I tried to tell you. It's not my fault you're stubborn as hell."
"I am not!" He just gave her a look. "A girl has the right to do what she wants Riley."
"Well, then said girl shouldn't complain when she wakes up with a hangover." He pointed out.
"Fine, fine. At least I didn't make a complete fool of myself this time." Brenda said, remembering when she had thrown herself at him during Spring Break.
"You didn't? Don't you remember getting on top of Pacey's kitchen counter and dancing like someone in a porno." Noah smirked.
"I didn't!" She looked shocked for a second before realizing he was lying because she was definitely not that drunk. "Noah!"
"I don't know why you're worried. You never make a fool of yourself."
"Yeah right."
"Spring Break was just a funny beginning to our relationship." He said smiling.
"Speaking of relationship…" Brenda trailed off not knowing what to say.
"Yeah?" He prodded. They were just staring at each other, not saying anything, not sure what to say.
"Excuse me." Noah looked away when he heard someone calling to him.
"I'll be right there, Sir." He said, before turning regretfully to Brenda.
"It's okay." She assured. "Can we talk later? Lunch maybe?"
"Lunch sounds good."
"I'll come back around one o'clock?"
"Sure."
He smiled and then leaned into her and she thought she was about to be kissed. She was a little disappointed when he kissed her softly on the cheek before pulling away but even that had made her heart beat faster.
"I'll see you then."
"Bye." She said, watching him walk away.
Now she really needed to talk to him.
-&-
"Don't you have a life?"
Joey looked up from her drawing, a voice interrupting the calm atmosphere of the empty classroom.
"I do. He's just at work right now." Joey joked.
"There's a word for girls whose life revolves around their boyfriends." Luke said, walking further into the classroom.
"Yeah, in love." Joey said smiling at him. "So, what brings you here?"
"I have a class next door in five minutes. I saw you when I was passing by." He told her. "What are you working on?" He tried to look but she turned the easel slightly out of his vision. "You didn't show me the last thing you were working on, either."
"Well, that was a present for someone."
"That's a nice idea actually. But I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate one of my pictures as a present."
"Why not?"
"Because I suck."
"But you're an Art major, so I'm pretty sure that's not true." Joey assured him.
"You don't have to be good to be an art major. But it's okay because the girl loves me anyway." He smiled, thinking of his girlfriend. "So, did you give any thought to taking some classes?"
"Yeah, I think I'm going to be taking some next year."
"That's good. You could even take some this summer to get ahead if you wanted. There are some good summer art programs."
"Really?" Joey said excitedly, before remembering she wouldn't be here this summer. "That would be great, except I won't be here this summer."
"Going somewhere exciting?"
"No. Just home. I'll be spending summer working and stuff."
"That sucks."
"What about you?"
"I think I'm going to Europe with my girlfriend."
"Wow. Lucky." Joey smiled.
"Well, I should get to class. See you around."
"Yeah. Later, Luke." Joey smiled as he left and turned back to her drawing.
-&-
Jen ran out of his apartment, feeling like her world was tumbling down around her. She ran as fast as she could, not really knowing where she was going. She couldn't believe this was happening. Why couldn't her life ever stay perfect? She should have realized everything had been too good for her.
She stopped in the middle of the street, needing to catch her breath. She didn't even know where she was. She didn't know what she was going to do.
Taking a deep breath, she wiped the tears from her eyes and got her phone out of her pocket. She needed to talk to him. She dialed the familiar number and waited for him to answer.
"Hello." He said.
Her voice was still choked up from the crying and she couldn't say anything.
"Hello?" He asked again.
"Jack." She said finally.
"Jen? What's wrong?" He said, instantly knowing something was wrong.
"I…He…Everything is messed up." She started crying now, not being able to hold it in.
"Jen, please tell me what happened. You're scaring me." Jack said calmly.
Jen never got like this and it was scaring him. He hated the fact that he couldn't rush over to her and comfort her.
"I need to see you." She said, wiping the tears again.
"I know but…"
"What?"
"I'm in Capeside, Jen."
"Capeside? What are you doing there?" She said, momentarily forgetting her own problem.
"I came to see Tobey."
"Are you going to break up with him?"
"I don't know. I just needed to see him. Everything has been so messed up, I just need to see him and hopefully I'll know what to do."
"Are you sure you're not running away?"
"I'm not. I just wanted to spend some time with my boyfriend." He assured her. "Now are you going to tell me what happened?"
She paused for a second. It would be so easy to just pour her heart out to him. That's what she would normally do. But he wasn't even here and he had taken this break to sort out his own problems, not worry about hers.
"It was nothing."
"Nothing? Nothing was why you were crying five seconds ago?"
"I'll tell you when you get home. Just don't worry about me. You just sort yourself out, okay?"
Jack smiled, he knew exactly what she was doing. It wouldn't stop him from worrying about whatever her problem was, but there wasn't much he could do from Capeside.
"Okay. But Jen, go and see Joey, okay? And please call me when you sort things out. You know I'm going to worry anyway."
"I will. I love you, Jack."
"Love you too."
They hung up the phone and both sighed. Jack was standing outside Tobey's house now, wondering whether to go inside or just run away. And Jen was still roaming the streets of Boston, not knowing what she was going to do.
-&-
Pacey walked outside and grinned when he spotted Noah, daydreaming again. He walked up behind him quietly and then shouted.
"Noah!"
"Woah!" Noah jumped. "Pacey, don't do that!"
"I wouldn't have to if you would stop daydreaming and actually do some work around here." Pacey teased.
"I was working."
"Of course you were. That's what it looked like."
"I was. In between thinking about a certain girl."
"Yeah. You two seemed pretty close at the party last night. Anything going on I should know about?" Pacey asked.
"Nope." Noah lied unsuccessfully.
"Come on, don't hold out on me."
"We kissed, that's all."
"That's all? This is the girl you've been seriously hot for, for weeks now. You can't tell me it was just a kiss."
"It was. Just one little kiss. She was kinda drunk."
"Oh, the drunk routine again."
"Well, she did know what she was doing this time." Noah laughed. "We kissed goodnight and then I went home."
"So now what?"
"I don't know. We're meeting for lunch. And she seemed happy when I saw her this morning, so maybe this is our chance."
"That's great. You both deserve to be happy."
"I just hope she thinks so too."
"Me too." Pacey assured him.
-&-
Drue wandered around town, feeling lost. After Jen had left him at the apartment, he felt like what little happiness he had managed to find in his life had just been taken away from him. He couldn't blame her, he knew that he deserved it.
Why would Jen want to be with him after he messed up so many times? She had given him so many chances, but he just couldn't help screwing up. He also couldn't believe that he was so messed up that mistakes he made almost three years ago would still be catching up with him.
He had a son. He had a son.
No matter how many times he said it, it didn't seem real. Jen had been right, he wasn't ready to be a Dad. He didn't know the first thing about looking after a child.
But that's what he would do. Ryan was his and he wouldn't turn his back on his own blood. He couldn't do that to his son. He would be there for him.
Drue thought about calling Morgan, but he still wasn't sure he could talk to her. Not yet. He wouldn't know what to say. He knew she needed money but there was a lot more they needed to sort out.
He didn't realize where he was heading until he was standing outside a small park. He looked through the railings and his eyes fixed upon a little boy, about four years old, playing football with his father. They were laughing and having a great time together.
That could be Drue. He wasn't sure exactly how to be a Dad, but he knew he could be one. He had to be. He was so confused. All he really knew was that he needed Jen. He needed her to show him what to do, what to feel. But she probably wouldn't want to see him now.
He had ruined the best thing in his life…three years ago.
Typical.
-&-
Joey went back to her dorm room after class, and jumped when she noticed someone sitting on her bed.
"Jen?" She said, after calming herself.
Jen was sitting on the bed, with her arms wrapped around her knees. She didn't say anything when Joey walked in and Joey knew something was wrong.
"What happened?" She said, rushing to Jen's side.
She looked at her friend's distraught face and her red eyes and knew she had been crying. Instinctively she wrapped her arms around Jen in a hug.
"Honey, please tell me what happened?"
"Stacy let me in." Jen said finally, not answering Joey's question. "She said I could wait for you. I just needed to talk."
Joey was still confused. Jen shook herself out of her daze and wiped her eyes.
"It's nothing." She said finally. "It doesn't really affect me anyway." She was trying to convince herself. Trying to convince herself that this didn't ruin everything between her and Drue.
"What doesn't?"
"Drue had a surprise visit from an ex-girlfriend today. Or maybe she was just a one night stand, I don't remember."
"And?"
"And she had someone with her. A little someone. A someone belonging to Drue."
"What? Jen you're confusing me."
"She said that Drue has a child, Joey. His child. Their child."
"Oh my god."
"That was pretty much my reaction." Jen said dryly.
"Wow, I just can't believe. Drue, a father?"
"I always knew he would be a great Dad. But I kinda thought it would be for our children."
"I'm so sorry, Jen."
"I just, I don't know what to do, Joey." Jen said sadly. "I mean this is Drue. It's his child. He just found out and he must be going crazy. But I feel hurt and angry and I just can't face him. Am I being a bitch?"
"No! Of course you're not." Joey said soothingly. "You're allowed to feel those things, Jen. This effects you too."
"I want to go to him and tell him I love him. But I can't."
"It's okay."
"It's not okay."
"Jen…"
"Why now?" Jen said, trying to hold in her tears. "Why when everything was so good?"
"This isn't something either of you could have known about. You just have to deal with it."
"I don't know if I can. Knowing that there's this little boy that belongs to him, and some stranger. How am I going to deal with that?"
"I don't know, Jen." Joey hugged her friend again, knowing she was going to cry. "I don't know."
-&-
"So, where are we going?" Noah asked, as he and Brenda walked away from the Marina.
"You're the guy, aren't you supposed to deal with all date locations?" She teased.
"Well, considering I've been at work all morning, it was a bit hard." He laughed before stopping suddenly, realizing what she had said. "This is a date?"
"I don't know, is it?"
"Well, since you didn't give me a chance to prepare, we won't count this as one. That way I can make sure our first date is memorable."
"And who said there's going to be a first date?" Brenda teased. "You have yet to ask me out."
"That's because I was pretty sure would have said no."
"And what's different now?"
"Now, I'm pretty sure you're going to say yes." Noah grinned.
"Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?"
"Oh yeah, I've had time to wear you down. You can't resist my charm any longer."
"Normally, I would fight with you on principle, but you may just be right this time." Brenda grinned.
Before he could say anything else, she took his hand and pulled him into a restaurant.
They sat down and ordered their food and made small talk until it arrived. It was easy for them to talk to one another about anything. They got along so well.
"So…" Noah said finally, trying to bring up the topic of their relationship. He needed to know where he stood with her.
"So?" Brenda rose her eyebrows.
"So, that was some kiss, huh?" Noah said smiling.
"It was. Some kiss." Brenda returned, purposely being short in her answers. It was fun to watch him squirm.
"I take it that you're not angry at me for kissing you, then?"
"Angry's not the right word. No."
"What is the right word then?"
"Glad?"
Noah smiled at her answer.
"But…"
"But?" Noah's face fell slightly, not sure he would like what was going to come next.
"I don't know if you would really want to be with me." He was about to say something but she carried on. "I know you think you do, but there's a lot you don't know about me. I'm really messed up."
"I could have told you that." He teased.
"I'm serious."
"I know. And I know I still want you. Now if you don't want to be with me that's another matter, but…"
"I do. I really like you, I'm just scared."
"We can take things slow. We've become really good friends lately and I wouldn't do anything to spoil that."
"I know." She smiled at him. "Slow sounds good."
"Good."
They looked into each other's eyes, not saying anything for a while.
"Does slow mean I can't kiss you now? Because I really want to." Noah admitted and Brenda laughed.
"I didn't say we have to go that slow."
Noah laughed and leaned forward, kissing her softly. The kiss was short and sweet, a promise of all that was to come.
-&-
Pacey was outside his apartment, searching for his keys to open the door, when his phone started ringing. He got his phone out of his pocket and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Pacey." Joey said, sighing with relief.
"Hey gorgeous."
"Where are you?" Joey asked. She was sitting in her bathroom and was talking very quietly.
"I just got home. Why?" Pacey frowned, something wasn't right. He opened his door and walked inside.
"Is Drue there?" Joey asked.
"I don't know."
"You know he was acting strange this morning, did he tell you what happened?"
"No. He just said he messed up somehow. I was kinda worried about him."
"Well I know what happened. Jen is here with me. Long story short, Drue had a one night stand three years ago and now he has a son."
"What?"
"I'm serious, Pace. Jen is really upset and I'm sure Drue is going crazy."
"He must be." Pacey's mind was spinning. "Hang on." He told her, before looking around the apartment for Drue.
"Drue!" he called, but there was no answer and he wasn't in his room.
"He's not here."
"I think you should look for him, Pace. He's all alone. Jen's too upset to talk to him right now and I think he needs a friend."
"Of course." Pacey said, already heading back out of his apartment.
"Call me later?"
"I will. Love you."
"Love you too." Joey said, hanging up before walking back into her room.
-&-
Pacey looked in all the places he could think of that Drue might go. But he was nowhere to be found. He knew Drue probably wanted to be alone right now, but he knew he should make sure he was ok.
Finally, Pacey found him at the far end of the beach. He should have known Drue would be there. He approached his friend, waiting until his presence was acknowledged.
"Hey." Drue said, turning and attempting a smile.
"Hey." Pacey said, moving closer to stand next to him.
"Did you hear?" Drue asked, already knowing he knew from the look in his eyes.
"Joey called me. Jen told her."
"I told you I fucked up."
"It's not your fault."
"Isn't it?"
"It was a long time ago."
"And yet, I still can't get away from it. Once an idiot, always an idiot, right?" Drue said bitterly.
"You're not an idiot. Just unlucky."
"I have a son, Pacey."
"There are a lot worse things to have." Pacey reminded him.
"I've lost her. I know it. She hates me."
"She could never hate you."
"She used to." Drue reminded him.
"She was in denial."
"This whole year I've been trying so hard to fit in. To be one of you guys."
"You are one of us. We all make mistakes."
"You don't. I've never been like you guys. You have each other. I only have her. Except now, I probably don't."
"You do. You have her. And all of us. We're all your friends. And she still loves you. Nothing's going to change that. You just have a lot to deal with."
"No shit."
"You'll be okay. You're both strong."
"Are we?" Drue sighed. "You didn't see the look in her eyes. She was so disappointed."
"She was shocked."
Drue didn't say anything. He just stared out towards the water.
"What are you going to do about…"
"Ryan." Drue filled in his name. "I don't know. I'm his father, I can't abandon him."
"I know." Pacey sighed. "And his mother?"
"I don't even know her. I'm supposed to call her when I'm ready to talk. I don't know when I'll be ready."
"She'll understand."
"Yeah. She'll have to after dumping this on me two years too late." He said angrily. "I'm not angry that she's dumping this on me. He's my son. I'm just angry she didn't do it sooner. She said I wouldn't care."
"I'm sure she didn't mean…"
"She meant it."
"I'm sorry."
"Me too." Drue said sadly.
He turned and walked up the beach, leaving his friend behind. Pacey just watched him walk away, knowing that there was nothing he could say to make things better.
-&-
"How's the tea?" Joey asked. She was sitting on a chair and Jen was on the bed, a cup of tea in her hands.
"Good, thanks." Jen smiled at Joey.
"I'm sorry I don't know what else to say."
"It's okay. There's nothing you can say, really." Jen sighed. She took another sip of her tea before setting it on the table and getting up.
"You're going?"
"Yeah. I think I've taken up enough of your time."
"Don't be silly. You can stay here if you want." Joey offered.
"Thanks, but I just want to go home and go to sleep."
"Okay. I'll come with you."
"Joey…"
"I'm going to Pacey's anyway. It's on the way." Joey said before Jen could say anything.
"Fine."
Jen got her stuff and they left together. Joey put her arm around Jen, knowing she needed the comfort. Jen sighed, wishing that it were Drue who was with her, comforting her.
-&-
Brenda was in her room, attempting to write a paper, but she couldn't think about anything besides Noah. He was so adorable and sweet. The feeling of butterflies in her stomach was making her feel happier than she had in a long time. She'd almost forgotten how it felt.
There was a knock on her door and she got up to answer it.
"Noah!" She smiled, surprised. She had only seen him this afternoon and she wasn't expecting to see him again so soon. "What are you doing here?"
"Not happy to see me?"
"Of course I'm happy." Noah smiled and leaned in to kiss her. This one was more passionate and intense as their lips collided together.
"I could get used to this." Noah grinned when they finally pulled away.
"Me too." Brenda smiled.
She moved out of the doorway and Noah followed her inside.
"So, what are you up to?"
"I was trying to write a paper before you disturbed me." She tried to be angry.
"I can see how heartbroken you are about that."
"Hey, it's an interesting paper."
"More interesting than me?"
"Yep."
"Really?" Noah rose his eyebrows and moved towards her, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"Yes really."
"Are you sure?" He advanced on her, tickling her mercilessly, until she fell back on the bed.
"Noah! Stop it!" She demanded when he leaned over her, tickling her everywhere.
"You never told me you were ticklish."
"That's because you never asked."
Brenda stuck out her tongue at him and he tickled harder.
"Okay, okay. I give. You are more interesting than my really boring paper."
Noah finally stopped tickling her, and pulled her up, so she was sitting.
"Good. Now let's go."
"Where are we going?"
"Our first date." Noah grinned.
"What? I'm not ready. I look a mess." Brenda complained. She had planned to make a bit of an effort when they went out.
"You do not. You look gorgeous."
"Do not."
"Do…" He was about to say 'to' when he realized how childish they were being. He laughed before continuing. "You have ten minutes to change and I don't want any complaints. You'll look great whatever you wear."
She wanted to argue with him, but his compliments made her forget her anger.
"Well, are you planning to stand there while I change?"
"Sounds like a plan to me." Noah grinned and she rolled her eyes. "I'll be outside. And hurry up."
"Okay." He kissed her softly again before leaving the room.
She sighed, enjoying the lingering feeling of his lips on hers.
"Brenda!" She heard him call from outside and she laughed.
-&-
Pacey was sitting on the couch watching TV when Joey got there. She looked tired and he smiled at her sympathetically.
"How is she?" He asked.
"Okay, I guess." Joey sighed, taking off her coat and shoes and going over to him. "And Drue?"
"Not so good." He put his arm around her as she snuggled in to him.
"I just can't believe it."
"Me either." Pacey sighed. "How was your day?" He asked, trying not to think of their friends for a little while.
"Okay. Classes were good. And I had some free time to work on some sketches. I ran into Luke again."
"If I wasn't so sure about us, I might be worried about that."
Joey just laughed.
"You know, you have nothing to worry about. He was telling me about his girlfriend today."
"Thank God. I couldn't handle another Steve."
"You just get jealous easily."
"No I don't. I'm not jealous of Luke and I had reasons to be jealous of Steve." He said logically.
"Anyway, he was telling about some summer art classes. They sounded really good, I wish I could enroll." Joey said regretfully.
"Why don't you?"
"It would be a bit hard to get up here from Capeside everyday."
"What?" Pacey frowned. "You're going to be in Capeside?"
"Yeah." Joey turned and looked at Pacey. "Aren't you?"
"No. I have to work at the Marina all summer."
"But I thought…"
"I thought you were staying here." Pacey said.
"I can't. I have nowhere to stay and the Yacht club pays better than the coffeehouse."
"I need the money from the Marina to pay for college next year." Pacey explained.
They both let this new information sink in. They hadn't realized they would be spending another summer apart.
"This really sucks." Pacey said finally.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. I just thought we'd be together this summer."
"Me too."
"Welcome to the world of grown-ups, huh?"
"Yeah. As much as we wish we could, we can't just get up and sail around the world all summer."
She leaned into him and sighed. She had gotten so used to being with him, she didn't know how she was going to survive all summer without him.
"This sucks." Joey repeated.
-&-
Jen was lying in her bed with the covers over her head, trying to block out the world, when there was a soft tap on her door. Brenda was out somewhere and Jen really wasn't up to seeing anyone.
The knocking got louder and she sighed, realizing that whoever it was, wasn't going to go away.
She got out of her bed and opened the door. When she saw who it was, she had an urge to just close the door again. But he looked so helpless, just standing there, looking lost.
"Jen…"
She held the door half-closed, not sure if she wanted to let him in. He hadn't done anything wrong, but she couldn't help blaming him.
"Drue, I don't think you being here is the best idea."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jen." His voice was filled with desperation and she found herself opening the door a little more.
"I can't help you right now. I'm not that strong." She said desperately. A part of her wanted to hug him tight and not let go, but another part of her just couldn't shut him out.
"I need you."
She looked into his eyes and saw the truth in his words. She nodded her head and pulled him to her, hugging him tightly.
He broke down then. "I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry I messed up again."
"Sssh." She took him towards the bed and sat with him, rocking his body with hers.
"What am I going to do?"
She didn't have an answer for him. She didn't know what he was going to do. Or what she was going to do. All she knew was in this moment she had to hold him, because he needed her. And that was all that mattered.
For now.