Episode Twenty-Two "The End of the Line"
When Pacey came out of his room in the morning he found Drue already dressed and eating breakfast. He mumbled a hello to Drue as he walked past him to get himself a coffee.
"What are you doing up so early?" Pacey asked when he returned to the living room.
"I find out the test results today. And I couldn't sleep."
"Oh. Well good luck."
"Thanks." Drue mumbled, pushing his plate away from him. The simple toast he had made for himself going uneaten.
"So, what are we hoping for? Yes, you're the father? Or no, you're not?"
"I'm not sure. No would make my life a lot easier. But I've been thinking it's yes for so long I don't know how I'll feel if the little guy isn't mine. Besides I think he is mine. Morgan sounded pretty sure so this is really to confirm it."
"How are things with you and Jen? I noticed she's talking to you now."
"Yeah. I don't know. I love her so much. And she just left me to deal with this major thing on my own and now she just wants to be my friend? It's too confusing. All I know is that I want to be around her, even if she doesn't."
"I'm sorry. I'm sure you guys will work it out."
"I hope so."
"Are you still leaving for the summer?" Pacey asked.
He knew that Drue had spoken about going away with Jen for the entire summer before this whole Morgan thing happened.
"I'm not sure. But I'm sure you won't be lonely even if I do go." Drue commented and Pacey frowned.
"I don't know about that. Joey's going to be gone the entire summer and if you go too it's going to be really quiet around here."
"Aww, I knew you'd miss me, Witter." Drue grinned.
"Miss living with you? I don't think so."
"Don't worry I'll be here next year and we can both be college bums together."
"Yeah."
"In the mean time I think you should take that girlfriend of yours out and show her how much you'll miss her. Because unlike me, you can."
"Yeah. I think I will."
Drue got up and collected his things. "Well, wish me luck."
"Good luck."
-&-
"I can't believe you're not going anywhere over the summer." Stacy said as she and Joey both packed up their things.
"Well, Capeside isn't my choice for a great vacation."
"Yeah, but at least it's away from school." Stacy pointed out. "I'm going to enjoy three whole months away from these walls."
"These walls weren't so bad. But I'm glad I won't be seeing them either."
"I can't believe you won't tell me where you're staying." Stacy moaned.
"It's a surprise."
"For Pacey! Not for me. I won't tell, I promise."
"Sorry. I don't want to say. I have to tell him first."
"I thought you would have told him the minute you found out you were staying here. He will be so excited. You know he's been moping about you leaving for weeks."
"Yeah, well another day won't kill him. I have a couple of surprises planned for tomorrow and I want to make it special."
"Make what special?" Pacey asked from the door startling Joey.
"My going away present." Stacy supplied quickly and Joey shot her a grateful look.
"Yeah." Joey added.
"You're getting her a going away present? No fair. Where's mine?"
"Stacy's going away. You're not." Joey pointed out, giving him a quick kiss.
"Don't remind me."
"Hey, at least you get to stay here. I have to go home to the screaming toddler and the rush at the B&B." Joey lied.
"You could always stay."
"Pacey…" Joey warned, trying hard to keep her mouth shut for a while longer. Stacy wanted to laugh.
"I know. I know. I'm sorry."
"You two make me sick." Stacy groaned.
"Jealous." Joey stuck her tongue out playfully.
"Hussy." Stacy countered.
"Hey, now ladies. No need to fight over me. I know I'm gorgeous, but you really should control yourselves."
Joey and Stacy both grinned before both throwing the clothes they were packing at him.
-&-
Drue had been standing outside Jen's dorm room for at least five minutes before he even raised his hand to knock on the door. He was clutching an envelope in one hand and the other was leaning on the door, contemplating knocking. Finally, unable to wait any longer he knocked.
Jen was packing when she heard the knock on the door. She didn't know exactly what she was packing for. Her original plans had been to go away with Drue somewhere, but before they could make any plans everything went wrong. Now she figured she would go and live with Grams over the summer and wallow in her misery.
She opened the door and found Drue standing there looking very nervous. Even though they had been talking a little over the past week, it had been a long time since he had come over.
"Hey." She smiled at him, trying to cover how much it hurt that things were so different now. The only thing that wasn't different was how much she still loved him.
"Hey." He shifted nervously and she realized he wanted to come in.
"Come in."
She moved out of the way and walked into her room. She started tidying up the mess on her bed nervously. Everything was everywhere and she needed to clean it all. It was weird how usually she wouldn't even care if her room were dirty; it was only Drue after all. But she suddenly felt the need to keep busy in front of him.
"Jen." He touched her arm softly and she froze, his touch still had such an effect on her.
"Yeah?" She turned to look at him and he held up the envelope he had been holding.
"The results are here."
"What?" She realized what he was saying and sat down suddenly. "Well, what do they say?"
"I don't know."
"You haven't opened them?" She asked, although she knew the answer.
She felt so bad for him. He looked so lost. She took his hand and pulled him to sit next to her.
"Do you want to do it together?" She asked as she put her arm around him reassuringly. He nodded, leaning into her body and she took the envelope he was holding out to her.
Taking a deep breath she ripped it open and unfolded the paper quickly. When she read the words on the paper she thought she would be so happy, but instead she felt a whole range of emotions from happiness to anger, to confusion.
"He's…not yours." She whispered and Drue's head lifted quickly.
"What?"
"He's not yours." She repeated.
Drue took the results from her and scanned the paper, not believing.
"I…She lied?"
He couldn't believe this. It didn't make sense. Morgan had told him Ryan was his. She never mentioned any doubt at all. How could this be true?
"Maybe she didn't know?" Jen said, trying to make him feel better, but she knew the girl had to have known that there was a possibility that the baby wasn't his.
"God, I can't believe this." He stood up angrily, moving away from her comforting arms. "I have to talk to her."
"I know." She stood up, and followed Drue who was already heading for the door.
"I'm sorry." He said, feeling bad for running out on her so quickly.
"It's okay."
He was about to leave when she stopped him.
"Drue, I'm sorry for being so cut off from you when you needed me. I know I was selfish and wrong. But I'm here if you want to talk."
She leaned up and kissed his forehead softly. He half smiled at her, unable to think about his relationship with Jen when everything else was so messed up.
He left without another word. She watched him walk away. And she knew that she didn't want this. She didn't want this fake friendship. She wanted him back.
-&-
David lay on Jack's bed, reading a magazine that he was holding above his head. Jack was busy packing his things into boxes. He put something into a box and then turned to David, sighing.
He walked up to his boyfriend and leaned over him, grabbing the magazine from his hand.
"Hey! I was reading that." David complained, sitting up.
"Yes. Reading. When you're supposed to be helping me pack." He complained, taking a seat next to David on the bed.
"Fine." David sighed. "I guess that is the downside of having a boyfriend. You have to help him out."
"If it's not too much trouble." Jack said sarcastically.
David laughed, getting up from the bed and helping Jack. "So, when are you taking everything to Grams?" He asked.
"Tomorrow maybe. I'm borrowing Nathan's van to move my stuff. And I told you we have to help Joey move too right?"
"Yeah. You did."
"Do you need to move your stuff?" Jack asked. David was going to stay at his cousin's place over the summer. They lived in Boston and had plenty of room.
"Yeah, but I can do it later. I think my uncle's gonna help me out."
"Cool."
"Is Jen staying at Grams, then?"
"I think so. Things with her and Drue are still up in the air. She thinks staying with Grams would be the best thing for her."
They got into the packing for a while; David occasionally asking which box Jack wanted a certain something in.
"I still can't believe it." David broke the silence after a while.
"What?"
"This. Us." He pointed to the two of them.
"I know. But it's not weird, right?"
"No. Not weird. It's nice."
"Yeah. It definitely is." Jack grinned.
-&-
"So…" Pacey came out of the Marina office and leaned against the railing as he spoke to Noah. "Isn't it sad that while everyone is making summer plans we're the only two guys whose plans consist of working here?"
"Yep." Noah agreed. "I'm pretty sure when I started this year I was a happy go lucky, carefree kinda guy. And now I can't even think of anything exciting to fill my summer."
"See what the love of a good woman does to us?" Pacey joked.
"I'm not even getting any love."
"You never know, she might just be waiting for you to make your move."
"I don't think so."
"I'm sorry, man. You must really care about her." Pacey said, realizing how much Brenda had gotten to him.
"I don't know. I don't think I was head over heals in love with her. But given another week together and I may well have been. She just never gave me a chance."
"We sure know how to pick them."
"What are you talking about? You and Joey are the perfect couple."
Pacey laughed lightly. "It wasn't always like that. It took a long time for us to get like this. But it was worth fighting for. When you're in love you do stupid things, you try so hard not to hurt each other, and then you do, and it kills you, but even after all that you still want to be with them."
Noah nodded, understanding. "I knew she had issues and she even warned me, but I wanted to be with her so much. And she hasn't come to see me, or even called me in weeks and it's killing me, but I still want her."
"Maybe you should tell her that."
"I don't know. Sometimes it doesn't work out. Not everyone's as lucky as you and Joey."
"Lucky? I don't know about that. Despite everything we're still spending three months apart."
"And you'll probably still be as close in three months time."
"I hope so."
The boys just stood there, thinking about their upcoming summer and the girls in their lives.
"So…" Pacey broke the silence. "You're still cool about covering me tomorrow, right?"
"Yes, Pacey. The place will not fall apart if you're not here for one day." Noah rolled his eyes.
"Just checking."
"It'll be fine. You and Joey have a great time."
"We will, don't worry."
-&-
After Drue had left her alone in her room Jen had felt so much like crying. She hated that she had messed up so much. She couldn't believe she had broken up with him when he had needed her most. She knew why she did it though.
Drue had been the only guy she knew to love her so completely and she had pictured her entire life just being with him. Then Morgan turned up and she was scared of that changing. Drue would never turn his back on Ryan if he was his son and he would become the most important person in his life. And in turn Morgan would become more important to him.
She thought that if she distanced herself from him quickly it would stop the hurt. She thought it would hurt less when Drue finally left her, like they all did.
She finished most of her packing, trying to distract herself. Then she went over to Grams'. That was her safe haven. Whenever she was hurt or scared or confused Grams would always make it better. But even while her Grams did everything to make her feel better, from baking cookies, to talking to her, it all felt meaningless without Drue there to crack jokes and get in the way.
When she got home later that day she was exhausted from everything that was going on in her mind. At this point she just wanted to pack up and run away.
Brenda obviously had the same idea because when Jen walked in she was busy packing her bags hastily, looking very distraught.
"Brenda? What's going on?" Jen asked, knowing Brenda was not just doing her end of summer packing.
"I'm leaving." She said simply, not stopping in her task.
"I thought you were staying in Boston over the summer. Where are you going in such a hurry?" Jen asked, sitting on Brenda's bed.
"I don't know. But I can't stay here. I need to get away. And I don't know if I'll be back."
"Until when?"
"Ever."
"Whoa." Jen stilled her friend's hands, making her stop and talk.
Brenda sighed. "I just need to get away from here. I can't handle it. This place is just a reminder of everything. I thought I could deal with it. Deal with him. But I can't. And I can't stay here."
"You can't just drop out!"
"I need time to clear my head." Jen didn't look convinced. "I'm not running away." Brenda tried to explain. "If anything I'm doing what's right. I need to build my life away from Matt and reminders of everything. After my parents died I knew I had to leave then and it helped me a lot. And now I think I need to move again."
"What about your friends?"
"You know, I kept to myself most of the year. I'm really grateful that you let me into your group of friends because you're all really nice. But this is something I need to do."
"What about Noah?"
"I like him, I really do. But getting into another intense relationship is the last thing I need right now."
"Maybe being with a guy like Noah is exactly what you need?"
"I don't think so. He showed me that not all guys are like Matt and he helped me through a lot without even realizing it, but I need to be on my own."
"You are going to say goodbye to him though, right?"
"Yeah. I will."
"I can't believe you're going." Jen said sadly. Despite what she thought at the start of the year she had grown to really like her roommate.
"Hey, we'll keep in touch, ok? And who knows, maybe I will come back next year."
"I hope so." Jen got up and hugged her.
-&-
Drue knocked on the door angrily, unable to contain his anger. He couldn't believe Morgan hadn't even told him there was a possibility that he wasn't the father. She obviously knew that Drue wasn't the only one, yet she let him believe that he was it.
When Morgan answered she knew from the look on his face that the results of the test had not been what she had hoped.
"How could you do this to me?" He asked, walking into the house. "How could you lie to me?"
"Drue! Please calm down."
"Calm down?" He couldn't believe her. "You expect me to calm down after you lied to me?"
"I didn't lie." He glared at her. "I didn't know!"
"You didn't know? You told me I was Ryan's father! You told me there was no doubt."
"I know. I know. I just…"
"Mommy." The little boy they were fighting about came out of a bedroom looking sleepy.
"Aww, sweetie. I'm sorry, did we wake you?" Morgan went over to the child quickly, sending a glare Drue's way as she went into the room to put Ryan back to bed.
When she came back outside Drue had calmed down a little. "I'm sorry." Morgan said, walking back into the room.
"It's not good enough."
"Does it really matter? He could have been yours. We still slept together. I would have still come to you." Morgan tried, but she knew it did make a difference.
"Of course it makes a difference. You didn't tell me there was a chance. You let me fall in love with him thinking he was mine."
"I know." She had the decency to at least look ashamed. "I just didn't know what to do."
"You should have told me."
"I know." She sighed. "When we slept together I was going through a bad time in my life, drinking, sleeping around, stuff like that. Then I found out I was pregnant and I sorted myself out. But my parents refused to help me and I was on my own. Lately things have gotten really bad and I need help."
He sighed, starting to feel bad for her. He knew it must have been tough for her. But he also knew that she had no right to lie to him.
"You don't know how hard it is to raise a child. I thought there was a chance that he really was yours and I knew you wouldn't turn your back on him. I guess when I saw you, I saw this chance for me to get back on my feet and I thought it would be better this way."
He didn't say anything for a while and Morgan got nervous.
"Please, say something."
"What do you want me to say? Keeping the truth from me just made everything more complicated. Don't you think I would have found out eventually?"
"I know. I didn't think."
"You're right. You didn't." He didn't know what else to say so he started towards the door.
"Where are you going?"
"There's really nothing left to say is there?"
He walked away not feeling any better than he had before he got there. He was still as confused as ever.
-&-
The next morning Pacey woke up feeling excited about the day he had planned. He had the entire day off and he planned to spend every second of it with Joey.
It was still early, but he was up and ready when he called Joey.
"Hello?" Joey's voice mumbled, obviously she was still sleeping.
"Joey. Rise and shine, babe."
"Pacey?" Joey tried to wake herself up, she reached over to her alarm clock and sighed. "It's six am Pacey. What are you doing calling me at six am?"
"It's a beautiful day today, Jo. Don't waste it in bed."
"Funny. Usually you're the one who wants to waste beautiful days in bed." Joey grinned, sitting up in her bed now.
"That's when we're in the same bed. But since you're all the way over there and I'm over here it's not such a good idea."
"So what, pray tell, am I supposed to be getting up for?" Joey asked, having known the whole time that he had planned something.
"All will be revealed. Just get your cute self over to the marina by eight."
"Pacey. You didn't do something stupid, did you?" She asked, wondering what this surprise would be. The last time he surprised her, she had a wall to paint.
"Not stupid exactly. Just meet me. I promise today will be good."
"Okay." She was already out of bed, and searching through her clothes. "What should I wear?"
"Jo!" He laughed. "You can wear whatever you like, sweetheart, because I don't know how long you'll be wearing it."
Joey laughed. He was no help. "See you soon."
-&-
"Okay, my 'cute self' is here. What's the big surprise?" Joey asked as she approached her boyfriend.
He was leaning against the railing and just smiled when he saw her.
"Patience is a virtue, Josephine." He grinned and she leaned into him and kissed him passionately.
"It's a virtue I don't have, obviously." She pointed out as he took her hand and they walked together down the marina.
As they approached Pacey's workplace and the many boats lined up against the Marina they stopped. Joey looked confused.
"You want me to watch you work? I thought you had the day off."
"I do. Guess again."
"You want me to help clean the boats?"
He laughed. "Never mind."
He walked over to one of the boats, which looked suspiciously like the one he had owned in the past and climbed on board. Joey's smile broke out in a grin.
"You went and did something stupid!"
"If hiring a boat to take you out for the day is stupid, then yeah, I guess I did." He smiled, pleased by her reaction.
He was so incredible sometimes and she just wanted to hug him. She started to climb on board, but of course, he stopped her. "Uh, uh. Josephine, you always forget."
"Permission to come aboard?"
"Errrr…let me think about it."
She laughed, taking his outstretched hand anyway, and climbing onto the boat. As soon as she was onboard, she was in his arms, kissing him fiercely.
"I'm not going to need to have my wardrobe sent to me, am I?"
"No. This is a one-afternoon only trip." He grinned. "Unless you want to do that again because spending another summer alone on a boat is much more appealing then our current plans."
"Pacey?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up." Joey smiled as she said it.
"Yes ma'am." He saluted her jokingly before untying the ropes and setting sail.
-&-
Brenda took a deep breath and waited for him to answer the door. She was all packed and had bought herself a bus ticket for tomorrow. Right now she was heading to Providence where one of her old friends lived, but after that she didn't really know.
All she knew was that she needed to learn to rely on herself and deal with her problems. Because now she realized she hadn't dealt with them at all. She'd just pushed them away. And when Noah had come along and been there for her she had convinced herself she was doing the right thing by moving on, instead she just ended up leaning on another guy.
She had to stop this dependency she had on other people and live on her own. It had always been like this. First her parents, then Matt and then Noah. Maybe it wasn't a conscious thing, but she always needed someone there, someone to hold her up, but now she was ready to grow up.
And maybe that wasn't a bad thing. Having people to support you was good. Her problem was she didn't just lean on them for support, she ended up being dependant on them. It hadn't happened with Noah, but she knew that if she stayed with him it would turn into that. And if she went back to Matt it would lead her right back to where she started.
So she knew now that she needed to stop. Maybe three months alone would help her sort her life out and figure out what she really wanted.
She didn't want Matt. She may have been in love with him, and she knew a part of her still loved him. But too much had happened. He had hit her. And however much she forgot that when they were together, it was the truth. She was glad he was getting help because he had a problem. And she still cared about him enough to know she wanted him to get his own life back on track. But he was her past now. She could never fully trust him again and she couldn't keep running back to him when things got tough.
So she was here, at his door again. But this time she was strong. She wasn't that weak girl who would melt the moment he told her he loved her. Because she knew he loved her. But like her, he needed to let go too. He needed to stop using her as the reason he was changing his life around and make the reason himself, for his own sake.
When he opened the door she smiled at him softly and he sighed. He was wearing his boxers and a wife beater, his hair all messed up and a sleepy look in his eyes. He didn't look surprised to see her. He opened the door wider, motioning for her to come in and she walked into the house, Matt closing the door behind them.
-&-
Drue was sitting in front of the TV, flicking channels aimlessly, having nothing else to do. A couple of months ago when he thought about what he would be doing when school was over he thought he and Jen would be packed up, ready to have the best summer of their lives, wherever they decided to go.
He never thought he would be sitting in his apartment with all his things still in place, without Jen, and with no idea what he was going to do for the next three months. Maybe he could go back to Capeside and work at the Yacht Club all summer. Obviously things were really bad if he was even considering returning to his mother. A knock on the door shook him from his thoughts, but he was really not in the mood to entertain. Or get up for that matter. He muted the TV and called out.
"Who is it?"
"It's Jen." She waited outside as Drue decided what he was going to say to her next.
"Come in." He said, knowing she had her key. He unmuted the television and focused his attention on the screen.
Jen fished out her key and opened the door. He didn't look exactly happy to see her, but he didn't look angry anymore.
"Are you okay?" She asked, walking inside.
"Fine." He answered shortly.
"Did you see Morgan?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"And what?" Drue asked. "She's sorry she lied. He's not mine. What can I do?"
She knew he didn't want to talk about it. She knew he was angry because everything in his life was messed up and it had no reason to be.
"So, have you made any plans for the summer?" She asked, changing the subject.
"No."
His short answers were making her nervous. She knew that she couldn't just go back to being his girlfriend now that the problem was over. But she really wanted to be there and make it all okay. She started looking at him and got lost in her thoughts and didn't notice he was talking to her.
"What?"
"Why did you come here, Jen?" He repeated.
"To see if you were alright."
"Right. Because when there's no actual problem, you're here to see if I'm okay. Where were you when I wasn't okay?" He didn't say it angrily and that made it much worse. Because all Jen could hear was the hurt in his voice.
"I'm sorry, Drue. I was scared." She leaned forward in her seat, reaching for his hands, but he didn't let her take them. "I was scared of losing you."
"And I was scared I'd lost you."
"You didn't. You haven't. I'm still here."
"I don't know, Jen. You know I love you. I love you so much it scares me sometimes. But I don't know if you love me. Because when my world was falling apart, the one person I trusted in the whole world to keep me together wasn't there."
He had wanted to be hard and cold, and shut her out like she'd done to him but he couldn't. He just needed her to know that she hurt him.
"I just got so lost, Drue. I thought that you'd leave me and it was safer to cut myself off from you." She tried to explain.
"I would never leave you."
"But if he was yours, you would have wanted him. I know you would have. And you would have put him first and then put her first."
"I wouldn't have. She means nothing to me."
"I know. I just…didn't know. I was confused."
"You and me both." Drue sighed, leaning back against the couch.
He closed his eyes, just trying to take in what she had said. He was so hurt when she hadn't stood by him. But now it was over. Now they could go back. Or could they?
"Drue, lets go away this summer. Let's just pack up and go. We'll spend the summer together and sort everything out."
He looked surprised at her idea and truthfully she was too. She was so desperate for things to go back to normal though. She loved him. She knew now more than ever how true that was. And she needed to sort this out. And maybe a summer alone together would help.
"I don't know, Jen."
"Oh."
She looked upset that he rejected the idea straight away so he relented. "I just need to think about it."
"Okay." She stood up then, knowing there was nothing left to say. "I'll see you later then?"
"Yeah."
She stepped forward to kiss him, but then remembered that she shouldn't, and turned and walked out.
-&-
"So…" Pacey lifted a strawberry out of the dish set in front of him and dipped it into the cream before bringing it to Joey's mouth. She grinned and took a bite. "You like?"
"Like? Pacey, this is amazing." She gestured around her.
They were sitting on deck of the boat, out in the open sea. A blanket was spread out underneath them and an assortment of food, including the aforementioned strawberries, lay around them for breakfast.
"Good." He kissed her softly and then used his tongue to wipe the extra cream from the side of her lip.
"Mmm." She turned so he could kiss her properly, bringing her body closer to him.
"I've missed you." Pacey told her softly, leaning his forehead against hers.
"Me too."
"I don't want you to go."
She tried not to smile, knowing she didn't want to tell him her plans just yet. "Pace?"
"Yeah?"
"Let's not talk about that right now."
He nodded, not wanting to spoil the mood with the impending goodbye either.
She felt bad for him and got up from her place, moving her body so she was straddling his legs.
He looked at her, replacing his frown with a grin.
"Getting frisky on me, Potter?" He asked, moving his hands to her back and pulling her closer.
"If it'll make you smile."
"I'm not sure. It might work. You're just going to have to try."
She laughed and leaned down to kiss him. "The boat's secure, right?"
"Yeah." He frowned. "Why?"
"Because, I don't want to be disturbed."
He grinned as she kissed him more fiercely, getting completely lost in her.
-&-
Brenda stood on the docks waiting for him to notice her. She hadn't spoken to him in a couple of weeks and it felt so weird to her. She went from spending nearly every day to with this guy, to not talking to him at all and kissing another guy.
She flinched when she thought about how she had betrayed him by kissing Matt. And then it just reinforced her belief that he deserved someone better. Someone who would treat this nice, gorgeous, incredible guy the way he deserved to be treated.
He turned from the boats and stopped when he noticed her standing there.
"Hey." He said, not giving her any indication to what he was feeling.
"Hey. Can we talk?"
"I'm working." He gestured around him.
"Please? It's important."
He sighed. He didn't have a good feeling about this. He'd fallen for this girl and now he knew she was going to break his heart, if she hadn't already done that weeks ago.
"Just give me five." He told her.
He turned away from her and tried to take everything in. He wasn't sure he really wanted to hear what she was going to say. He went and closed the Marina office and stuck a 'be back in ten' sign on the door before walking back to her.
They walked in silence to a small café just down the road, sitting on the chairs outside.
She didn't say anything at first, trying to find the right words to say. She knew she had hurt him. She had played with his feelings and left him without a word, and now her explanation wasn't going to make him feel any better.
"I'm leaving." She said finally, startling him out of his thoughts.
"What?"
"I'm leaving Boston. For the summer and maybe even longer than that."
"Just like that?"
"I'm sorry." She leaned over to take his hand, but he pulled away.
"I don't understand."
"I guess I need to start from the beginning." She said, knowing she needed to tell him everything that had gone on since the day they bumped into Matt.
"That would be good."
"Well I never told you the story about my ex, Matt…" She started, telling him about their relationship and the way he'd changed and gotten possessive and about how he hit her. She was in tears by the time she finished, knowing that she had been holding it all inside for too long.
"Oh Brenda, I'm so sorry." He took her hand that he had refused earlier, running his fingers over the back of her hand.
"I told you I had a lot of baggage when we started dating and I wasn't kidding. But you made me forget it. You taught me how to relax and have a good time again. You made me feel again, something I'd forgotten how to do. So I pushed everything that was messed up in my life away and concentrated on that. But when I saw Matt…"
"It all came back." Noah finished. She nodded, not looking at him. "You still love him don't you? After everything he did to you?" His voice had a tinge of anger to it now. How could anyone hurt her? How could she ever forgive him? He wanted to kick his head in.
"I do." He flinched but she squeezed his hand tighter. "But not like that. He's my past and that's what he'll always be. I told him that this morning."
"Then I don't understand why you're leaving."
"Because through everything I've been through this past year, or even the last few years, from my parents deaths, to Matt hitting me, to you, I've forgotten who I am. I've lost who Brenda is."
"But I can help you."
"I know you can. You have helped me. But this is something I need to figure out on my own or I may never be able to."
"But…"
"You're a great guy, Noah. And I'm sure another girl will be dying to snap you up as soon as I'm gone."
"I don't want another girl. I want you." He admitted.
She smiled, although he was making this harder. A little part of her wanted to just screw it and stay with him. But she knew she couldn't do that.
"I was quite possibly falling for you, Riley." She smiled. "And that's never a good thing."
He smiled, but he wasn't happy. "So, this is it?"
"Yeah."
"When do you leave?"
"Tomorrow."
"That soon?"
"Yeah."
"I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too, Riley."
She got up and moved around the table to him, kissing him lightly. She pulled away and then walked away from him, wiping the tears forming in her eyes, not seeing him doing the same thing as he watched her leave.
-&-
David and Jack went back to David's dorm room after they dropped Joey's boxes off. They had spent the morning finishing packing all of Jack's things, before going to get David's stuff. Then using the van Jack had borrowed from his friend, they dropped off all of their things to their new homes.
"I'm so tired." Jack collapsed on David's bed.
"Me too. Move over, McPhee." He pushed Jack over, making room for him to collapse too.
They lay next to each other, trying to catch their breaths.
"Can you believe the year's over?" Jack mused, looking at the ceiling.
"Can I believe that I've had to put up with your ass for an entire year? Not really."
"Hey!" Jack elbowed him.
"Since you took so long making up your mind we'll just have to make up for it by having a great summer."
"I said I was sorry."
"No, you're not." David grinned.
"You're right, I'm not. You don't deserve it."
"Uh!" David sat up, mischief in his eyes.
"David, no. I'm too tired." Jack protested, knowing David was going to do something.
David thought for a second and then relented, lying back down. "I'm only letting you off because I'm too tired to move too."
"Yeah, yeah." Jack grinned.
They lay in silence for a couple seconds before Jack spoke up.
"Seriously though, I'm really sorry for being, for lack of a better word, a complete ass, all year."
David smiled. "You're forgiven."
"Good."
-&-
The boat pulled in to the Marina and Pacey tied it up before Joey climbed out. After it was secure Pacey climbed out too, joining her on the docks.
He put his arm around her from behind, kissing her exposed neck. "So, you got any more plans for today?" Joey asked, turning her head to look at him.
"Hmm. I was thinking we could go back to my place and have more mind blowing sex actually." He grinned as she elbowed him lightly.
"Is that all you think about?"
"When I'm with you? Hell yeah."
Joey laughed, not really surprised. "As tempting as that offer is, I've got a few surprises of my own to show you."
"You do?" She turned in his arms so they were facing each other.
"Yep." She grinned. "And in case I forget to tell you later, I had an amazing time today and thank you very much." She kissed him again, taking his breath away.
"You're very welcome." He said as they broke away from each other.
"Now this surprise of yours, does it involve you getting naked?"
"Pacey!"
"Sorry." He held up his hands, laughing.
"Come on, let's go." She took his hand, leading them to his car.
He opened her door for her and watched her climb in before closing the door. He jogged around to his side and got in.
He turned to her as he pulled away from the curb. "So, where are we heading?"
"Just drive and I'll give you directions."
"Wouldn't it be easier to just tell me."
"Yes, but then it wouldn't be a surprise." Joey reminded him.
"I hate surprises."
"You'll like this one, I promise." She assured him, leaning closer to him in the car.
She gave him a couple of directions and then told him to park up along a strip of shops. They had only been driving a couple of minutes and Pacey looked confused when they stopped just near the center of town.
"Where are we?"
"We have to walk." She told him, getting out of the car. He cut the engine and got out himself, getting very curious.
They walked down the road hand in hand for a couple of minutes before Joey stopped.
"Surprise." Joey said, waiting for him to understand.
"Surprise we can go get a hair cut?" He asked looking at the hairdressers across the street.
"No." She turned his body so he was facing the building on their side of the street. "Surprise."
It took him a couple of second to figure out they were standing in front of an art gallery. "I still don't get it."
"This is where I'll expect you to pick me up from all summer when you come get me after work."
"You mean…" He grinned, finally getting it. "You're staying in Boston?"
"I am."
"Oh my god, that's great." He grabbed her, picking her up effortlessly and twirling her around.
"Pacey!" She scolded. "Put me down, people are looking." She protested through her laughter.
He set her down again and then kissed her. "How did you do this?"
"I didn't want to go back to Capeside. I would be miserable without you. So I pulled a few strings, namely the strings that come with being Luke's friend and I got an intern's position."
"Luke set this up for you?"
"Yes. So you can stop being jealous of him and start thanking him."
"You get to stay here and pursue your dream, that is really fantastic."
"Not as fantastic as you."
"Nope, your surprise definitely beats mine."
"Of course. I always beat you." Joey grinned and he laughed, hugging her tightly. "But I thought yours was pretty amazing too, Witter."
"I'm glad."
"I just have one more thing to show you though." Joey told him.
"What could be better than this?"
"You'll just have to wait and see." She grinned and started walking back to the car, Pacey following her quickly.
-&-
Drue closed his apartment door, needing to get out of the house. He was going crazy just sitting inside letting everything run through his mind. The last few weeks had been hell for him and he knew he had to put things right. He couldn't dwell on what had happened.
"Drue?" He stopped when he noticed her walking towards his apartment.
"What do you want, Morgan?" He said, his voice tired.
"I just…"
"What? Wanted to ruin my life some more?"
"No. I just had to come and say something. I'm going back to New York tonight. I guess there's no reason for me to hang around now."
"Nope."
"Look, I'm really sorry. If I could take it all back I would. I know I was stupid and selfish and didn't think about what I was doing to you, but I can't change what I did."
"You're right. You can't. But sorry won't change anything either."
"I know. I just thought I owed you that much."
He didn't say anything else. He should hate her. She ruined everything that was good in his life. He made Jen question her faith in him. She made him question Jen's loyalty to him. She made him question their entire relationship. And she made him think the little boy he had grown to love was his own. But instead of hating her, he just felt sorry for her.
"I guess, I should…" She gestured to leave, not knowing what else to say.
He didn't say anything so she turned to leave.
"Wait."
She stopped and turned around.
"I want to see him again. One last time."
She nodded, understanding. "Okay. You can come now if you want."
"Yeah. And…" He pulled out an envelope from his pocket. He had been meaning to give her this earlier.
He handed it to her and she looked at it curiously. She opened it and pulled out some money. "Oh, Drue, I can't take your money."
"It's only two hundred dollars. It's nothing. Just take it."
"I can't…"
"It's for Ryan. And I really do hope you sort things out for yourself, for his sake."
"Thanks."
-&-
Jack sat by the phone, wondering whether he should make the call. David had just dropped him home and was on his way to his cousins.
Everything was pretty perfect in his life right now. Everything except that nagging feeling he still had about Tobey. It had only been a few days since he had left, but Jack didn't want to wait just in case he had made some plans for the summer. He needed to talk to him. Even if it was one last time.
He picked up the phone and dialed the number quickly, not letting himself chicken out.
"Hello?" Tobey answered the phone.
"Hey."
"Jack?"
"Yeah. It's me." He answered. "How are you?"
"I'm…okay."
"I know I shouldn't have called, but I needed to."
"I understand."
"I know. You always do, don't you?"
"That's because I'm so much smarter than you, McPhee."
"That's true." Jack laughed and then got serious again. "I wanted to apologize."
"You don't have to…"
"I do." He interrupted. "I'm sorry that I led you on. I'm sorry you had to be the one to cut me loose because I was too much of a coward."
"You didn't want to hurt my feelings."
"But I did, didn't I?"
"It hurt. I cared about you, Jack. I want you to know that. But I want you to be happy. And if David is making you happy, then who am I to stand in the way?"
"Thanks Tobey."
"No problem."
-&-
Drue walked towards Jen's dorm, hoping she was in. After he said goodbye to Ryan, he had been walking home and it just hit him. He didn't want to waste anymore time. He loved Jen and however much her walking away from him had scared him, he wasn't willing to give her up.
He had to give them another chance. He had to see if what they had was still worth fighting for. Because he had gone through a lot to be with Jen and he wasn't going to let anything get in his way.
When he reached her room, her door was open and he could see her packing her stuff.
"Going somewhere?" She jumped at his voice, dropping some clothes from her hands.
She bent down to pick them up. "I'm staying with Grams this summer, I figured I should move all my stuff pretty soon."
"Need a hand?" He asked, not waiting for her answer as he started folding some of the clothes from her bed.
He moved a few things from her bed and sat down, watching her as she gathered things from around the room.
"So, how does a road trip sound?" He asked finally, filling the silence.
"Huh?"
"I was thinking. You, me, the open road. What do you think?"
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" She asked, trying not to get her hopes up.
"If you think I'm saying we should take a road trip across America and leave tomorrow, then yes I am." She smiled, leaving her packing and going to him.
She smiled, leaving her packing and going to him. She stopped in front of him suddenly, hesitant about following through on her impulse to hug him. He noticed her hesitancy and reached for her, pulling her into his arms.
She smiled, leaning in to him as he kissed her softly. He took his time, making up for the weeks of not kissing her, learning her mouth all over again.
She kissed him back with equal desire, realizing just how much she missed this. She had made herself not think about how much being away from him was killing her, but now she didn't know how she even did it.
When they pulled away, he was still holding on to her, her body resting against his. He looked at her and she had tears in her eyes.
"Jen?"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Shh…" He wiped her tears, knowing he couldn't be mad her for long. Truthfully he forgave her a long time ago.
"I love you, Drue."
"I love you too." He told her. "And I need you to trust that more. And trust me. Don't distance yourself from me to protect yourself because I won't be able to handle it."
"I know. I was stupid."
He grinned, trying to lighten the mood. "It's okay. You're usually not very stupid so I'll let you off this time."
"Well, thank you, sir." She smiled, kissing him again. "So, a road trip, huh?"
"Yep."
"The two of us alone on the road. Should I be worried?"
"Hell, yeah."
-&-
Pacey cut the engine and looked up at his apartment building, confused. "Potter, we're home in case you hadn't noticed."
"I know."
"You just gave me directions to my house. I thought you had something to show me."
"I do. It's inside." She got out of the car and he followed her.
They walked up the stairs together, Pacey wondering exactly what she could be showing him in his own apartment. He left this morning and there was nothing there and he spent all day with Joey so she couldn't have come over while he was out.
She was grinning widely as he opened the door and as soon as the door opened he stopped, shocked. "Joey. Why is my living room filled with boxes?"
"Take a closer look."
He walked inside and peered into said boxes, realizing what was inside them. "Why is my living room filled with boxes of your stuff?"
"Because, Witter, I'm moving in."
"Huh?"
"Well, you failed to realize that I can't stay in the dorms all summer and so I need somewhere to stay. Drue said it was okay as long as his roommate agreed." She explained. "So, I'm not sure, do you think he'll agree?"
"Agree?" Pacey tried to hide his smile. "He might need some convincing before he does that."
"Convincing, huh?"
"Yeah. Like, a demonstration of what benefits this arrangement might have for him."
"Oh." She smiled, wrapping her arm around his neck. She kissed the side of his neck lightly, running her tongue along his ear. "You mean these kind of benefits?" She whispered and he groaned, grabbing her and lifting her from the ground.
"No, I mean these kind of benefits." He walked into his room and closed the door behind them.
-&-
The next morning the boys' apartment was in chaos. Drue and Jen had finished packing all her things up the night before and then dropped most of it at Grams', letting her know of their plans to leave the next day. They had taken what she needed for the summer back to Drue's where they were planning to pack his things, but ended up getting a little distracted in the bedroom.
Now Jen was in the kitchen, frantically cooking some breakfast, while Drue had been instructed to stay in his room until he had finished packing.
Pacey and Joey were busy moving all of Joey's things into Pacey's room. Drue had also offered his room as storage space for the summer since he wouldn't be there.
"Have you finished packing?" Jen asked as Drue came out of his room. She put their coffee and toast on the table.
"Yes. I think so."
"I better check." She was about to rush past him, but he grabbed her arm.
"Relax." He pulled her to the couch and put his arm around her as they ate the breakfast she had made.
Joey came out of Pacey's bedroom and went to collect another box.
"So, what time are you guys leaving?" She asked them.
Drue looked at his watch. "A couple of hours."
"One hour." Jen corrected. "We want to leave before dark or we'll never leave." She looked accusingly at Drue.
"It's not my fault you slept in."
"You kept me up all night!" She pointed out.
"You weren't complaining at the time." Drue smirked and Jen elbowed him.
Joey rolled her eyes at the couple. It was nice to see things were starting to get back to normal. Drue and Jen loved each other too much for it not to work out.
"Jeez, Potter, I never realized you owned so much stuff." Pacey complained as he joined the others in the living room. "I need a break."
He collapsed on the single couch and Joey frowned at him. "I don't have that much stuff."
"You do." Drue added. "I heard Jack and David complaining when they lugged it all here."
"Yeah, how did you get them to do that?" Pacey asked.
"It's called being nice, Pacey." She told him, giving up the moving for a second and sat in his lap.
"It's called being scared of the Potter wrath, actually." She hit him lightly and he held his hands up in surrender.
The phone rang and Jen got up to answer it. She talked for a couple of minutes as then hung up and returned to Drue's side.
"It was Jack." She told the other three. "He and David are coming over to say bye. Which reminds me, Brenda is supposed to be leaving today too so I should call her."
"Why don't you tell her to drop in here before she leaves. I can call Noah. I think he'd like the chance to say goodbye to her again."
"Yeah. Good idea." Jen agreed. "It's kinda sad things didn't work out for them."
Joey stood up then, pulling Pacey to his feet too. "Come on, Pace. We have a lot to do."
"Slave driver."
"Yeah. I think I'm going to check on what you consider to be packing too." Jen told Drue, heading for his room.
He groaned, knowing his stuff was about to be reorganized.
-&-
Drue closed the trunk of his car, clapping his hands together as he turned to the others. Pacey and Joey were standing together, her arm around his waist. Jack and David were also standing together. And Brenda and Noah were also present although they had yet to say anything to each other.
"That's everything." He told them.
"Yeah. We should get going."
"Aww. It's all romantic and adventurous." Joey grinned, leaning against Pacey.
"I don't know. Three months alone in a car with Drue? I may not come back in one piece." Jen joked.
"I resent that." Drue told his girlfriend. "You all set?" He asked Jen and Brenda.
"Yeah." Brenda said. "Are you sure you don't mind giving me a lift to the station?" She asked again.
"Of course we don't." Jen assured her.
Drue knew that they would be standing around for ages if he didn't get this show on the road soon. He turned to the guys and said a short goodbye. He wasn't much for making a scene. It's not like he wasn't going to see everyone in three months.
He sat in the car and waited for the other two to get going.
"I guess I'll see you in three months, then." Jen said, to the others.
"Yeah, I want all the details, Lindley. The odd email won't kill you." Joey joked.
"Don't worry. I'll keep in touch." She turned to David. "You take care of my boy, okay?" She smiled sweetly as David grinned.
"Don't worry I will." He assured her.
She turned to Jack and hugged him tight. "I'm gonna miss you, McPhee." She told him.
"Me too."
"I better go before I start crying." She smiled at everyone and went to join Drue in the car.
Brenda took that as her cue. "Thanks for everything, guys." She said to the group, and then turned to Noah who had been standing there quietly.
The others understood the moment and moved a little away. "I guess this is it?"
"Yep." Noah said, not looking at her.
"I'll miss you."
Noah smiled finally, surprising her by hugging her. "I hope you find what you're looking for." He told her sincerely.
She pulled away and kissed his forehead softly. "Me too."
She walked away from him and got into the back of Drue's car.
"Alright people, we'll see you in three months." Drue said, from the front seat.
He turned the engine on and pulled away. Jen waved to her friends until they were out of sight.
"It's just you, me, and the open road, Lindley." He said, putting his arm around her. "Scared?"
"Not so much." She grinned, kissing his cheek softly.
Brenda sat in the back looking out the window as Boston flashed by her, but instead of feeling sad she felt happy. She knew this is what she needed to do.
Noah watched the car turn the corner before saying bye to Pacey and Joey. He really wanted to be alone right now.
"I guess that's our cue too." Jack said to Pacey and Joey. "We'll see you around?"
"Of course. Later, Jackers. David." The two boys left aswell.
Joey leaned up, kissing Pacey softly.
"Looks like it's just you and me, Potter." He told her as they headed back up to their apartment.
"I wouldn't have it any other way." She grinned, pulling Pacey into the apartment, closing the door behind them.
THE END!