AN: Wow! I actually did some work! Anyway, enjoy this, because there won't be any updates for a few weeks. I'm going to New Brunswick for March Break, and Kel's taking off to Florida, the lucky bum. Anyway, enjoy.

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"So, who is she and what is she doing here?" asked Holly, taking a seat on the beige sofa.

"Her name is Kimberly Holmes. I unintentionally abducted her after the LEP insisted I fly all the way to Nova Scotia, Canada to recover an object that was lost through pure carelessness."

The elf glared at him. "Shut your trap, Fowl. Accidents happen, and after all you've done to the LEP, you owe us a lot more than a petty favour."

"Why didn't you just knock her out and leave her there?" suggested Foaly. "You could have mixed the dart was something to make the last hour seem fuzzy."

"I discovered, quite painfully I might add, that I cannot touch the Maple Stone. Holmes, on the other hand, can. I have no idea why this is, but it would have been foolish to leave her behind without finding the reason."

"She could have some faerie blood in her," said Foaly, digging through a bag for a compact machine and a sterilized needle. "I'll have to take a test."

"Just pray she doesn't wake up. I looked at her medical records, and there was a side note from a blood test when she was five that said 'had to be restrained'."

The centaur rolled his eyes, carefully inserted the needle, and began to draw out the red liquid. "It's unlikely she has any faerie blood in her, however. Most crossbreeds have pointed ears, nubs of bone on their shoulders, fragments of wings if they're part sprite, and almost always show signs of mental retardation."

"I think she applies for the last one," said Artemis, examining his nails.

Holly sighed, sending a shot of blue sparks around the crown of the girl's head. "I see you haven't gained any respect for your fellow life forms since I last saw you, Fowl."

"Well, you'll see my point when this female wakes up. I have reason to believe that she may be living proof that evolution can go backwards."



"Not the most alert centaur in the herd?" asked Commander Root, drawing out a fungus cigar, but not lighting it.

"You know how I feel about that expression, Julius. And her blood's done processing," Foaly scrolled through the results. "Nope, nothing. The closest thing she has to it is a bit of Irish blood, probably from a maternal grandparent. There's also a bit of something here, but I can't tell where it's from."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Holly.

"I mean that almost all humans have a spark or two of magic in them. Nothing they can use, of course, it's just there. Kind of like a life force. People with Irish descendants tend to have more, meaning Artemis would have more 'magic' than Butler or Juliet. Holmes here has a bit of Irish magic, but there's another type not accounted for."

Foaly took another needle out, and removed the tip. He injected the blue liquid into Kim's vein, where it would spread quickly.

"Maybe she has some Native blood in her," suggested Root, gnawing on his cigar. "A human Shaman or something. They managed to pull and handful of earth magic from a tree, and it stuck with the genes."

"That's the most likely theory. In any case, she's not a faerie, and there's still no logical explanation to why she can touch that stone." He shut the machine with a loud snap.

The noise stirred Kim. She didn't open her eyes, but just lay there listening to the people above her. The thing she was most amazed about was that she felt no pain, not even a slight numbness. It was like … magic.

Magic! That's what it was! The horse man and the two other tiny people with pointed ears. They where something out of a Grimm book or something.

She cracked open an eye, and saw a creature peering down at her.

"Ah! Omigod, it's a hobbit!" She backed up against the couch.

The redhead tried to hide her laughter, while the other scowled. "I am not a hobbit!"

"Whatever! Just back off, Bilbo!"

"What the D'Arvit is a Bilbo? And for your information, I'm an elf!"

"I've seen elves, by', and you ain't no Orlando Bloom!".

"No," chuckled the beast. "He most certainly is not."

The hobbit-elf was turning a bright red colour. "Why are you calling me 'boy'? If you knew how much older I am than you, it'd curl your hair! And what's with the accent?"

Kim happened to notice that her voice was thick with a Newfoundland accent. "It's a general term, nothing personal. Just … Who the hell are you?!"

"I," said the horseman. "I am Foaly. Samwise over there is Commander Julius Root, and the extremely cute redhead is Captain Holly Short of LEPrecon." he announced, ignoring Holly's eye rolling.

"Let me redefine that. What the hell are you?"

"I'm a centaur, and those two are elves, although I'm sure Julius has more than a bit of gnome in him."

"Shut your mouth, pony, or I'll shut it for you!" hollered the commander.

"Temper," muttered Kim under her breath, although she could not seem to tear her eyes away from Foaly.

He caught her stare. "What's wrong, Mud Girl? Never see a centaur before?"

"Erm, no actually. It's just that you're kind of half guy and half horse. Oh shit, you're half horse!"

"Have you got something against horses?" he pouted, flicking his tail in offence. Holly, however, could see through his acting.

"No offence or anything, but I'm allergic to horses."

"Good, because I'm not a horse."

"Well, you're part horse, and you have horse hair, and that's kind of what I'm allergic to."

"No problem. I gave you a shot while you were conked out. It's somewhat like a human allergy shot, only much more affective, as it's infused with a magic targeted to a specific allergy."

"Interesting," commenting Artemis. "Do you happen to have anything for dust mites?"

"Not on me, no. So," he said turning back to Kim. "Do you happen to have any idea why the Maple Stone allows you and Holly to touch it, but not Artemis?"

She shook her head mutely. She really didn't have any clue what was going on, and any footholds she had had crumbled the moment she saw the centaur.

"Erm," said Juliet uncertainly. "This might not be the best time, but does anyone want any tea?"

Several minutes later, both humans and faeries were seated in the living room, with the exception of Foaly, who preferred to stand for obvious reasons.



Kim had quickly discovered that the centaur was more than willing to answer questions, and had singled him out.

"Can you move your tail, or does it just do its own thing?"

"There's no bones in it, of course, but I can move it from the base. Sometimes it sways when I'm bored or nervous, like humans tap their fingers."

"So not all faeries have wings?"

"They used to, except for centaurs and dwarves. Now, only sprites are born with them."

"What's wrong with your … er, what do you call it? Horse parts."

"Hindquarters. And what do you mean, what's wrong with them?"

"You've got a few bald spots," she said meekly. "And you seem a little young to be losing your hair."

Holly grinned. "I told you they hadn't grown back yet."

"That's a long, long story," muttered Foaly, glaring at the elf.

"Then we might as well start at the beginning," grunted Root, lighting his cigar. "The Mud Girl needs to have some sort of idea how this dysfunctional little group got together."

"Hey, could you put that out?" asked Kim. "I'm an asthmatic, and smoke really bothers me."

"Well I'm a LEP commander, and I happen to like it," he said, blowing out a green cloud.

The girl leaned forward, her blue eyes fixed on the elf. "Put it out."

Both stared at each other like they were going to strangle the other for several minutes, and the elf finally sat back, grinding his cigar into an ashtray.

Foaly tried to hide that he was impressed. Not a lot of people could get Julius to listen to them, and the fact that a Mud Girl had faced him down was odd. Then again, she didn't look like the kind of person he'd fancy fighting, not that he'd want to resort to violence in any case. She had a crafty look about her, almost like a shrew.

Artemis cleared his throat. "I guess she should know the just of how the contact between myself and the LEP began. It started about a year and a half ago …"

The story of Holly's kidnapping and the rescue of Artemis Fowl Senior's rescue went on for at least an hour. It took longer than it should have, mainly because no one could quite agree to exactly what happened, and they all tended to exaggerate a bit, but finally Kim got an idea what had happened.

The girl was running through her own version of it, which involved quite a bit of pointing.

"Okay, you and you kidnapped her, so you tried to get her back, but you almost blew his ass off. Then a ton of little GI Joe elf buggers tried to rescue you, but you totally flattened them. Then you talked with you, and you could escape some sort of a time stop. So you brainwashed her, hit him, then tried to get out, but someone you knew sent in a troll."

Nods all around.

"So you tried to beat it, got your ass kicked, you tried to beat it, you also got your ass kicked. So you healed him, then he beat it. You sent in a ton of gold, she came out, you tried to kill those three, but they escaped."

"We don't like the term kill," said Foaly. "Think of it as taking care of a little problem."

"Right. Anyway, a year later, you track down some fat French guy for them, so you say you're going to help him find his father, but then you get attacked and you lose a finger somehow, so you all go underground, defeat a nutcase of a pixie and the ugly guy with the troll, come back up, save his father, and go home. Somewhere within this, you got zapped with a plasma floor, and that's why you've got bald spots."

Artemis sighed. "That's about it. It's very blunt, of course, but you get the idea."

"Yep, I guess I do. The faerie folk live underground in peace after being driven out of their own world, and you come along and almost destroy their way of life. As far as I can see, you're a selfish bastard."

"Finally," said Holly. "Someone who sees it from my point of view."

"Now really, isn't that a bit harsh?" asked Artemis. "I did have my reasons."

"Personally, I don't see gold as a reason to put another life in danger," she said, folding her arms. "In case you haven't heard, Canada is mainly a peaceful country. I mean, the Revolution of Nova Scotia was a six hour court trial. No blood, no guts. That stuff's all good in movies, but it's a bit much when you almost kill someone for personal gain."

"The Mud Girl's got a point, Fowl," pointed out Commander Root. "Short did almost did mauled by a troll and turned into dust by a bio-bomb because of you, yet she still rescued your father."

"Thank you, Julius."

"Don't call me Julius, twerp."

"I do admit that I am not entirely proud of the particular encounter, and would greatly appreciate if you'd stop bringing it up," Artemis scowled.

"Come on," grinned Foaly. "Quit picking on Fowl. You know he can't defend himself. Anyway, we're still no closer to solving this."

"Let's think," said Holly. "What's different about Kim and Artemis?"

"Intelligence levels, countries, genders, hair colour, societies, personalities, moral values," listed the centaur. "A shorter list would be what they have in common."

"Well, might as well start with gender," muttered Kim, fishing the Maple Stone out of her pocket. "Juliet! Think fast!" She threw it towards her.

The blonde caught it, held it for a second, and let it fall to the floor. She didn't yelp, of course. She was a Butler. She did, however, say something in Japanese that made her brother glare at her.

"Well," said Foaly. "That counts out that theory." He picked up the stone, and held it up to the light.

"And even if Kim had magic," noted Holly. "It wouldn't matter. Pony can touch it, and he doesn't have a spark in him."

"And he's a genius, or so he says," added Kim. "So how smart the person is doesn't seem to make any difference."

"Maybe it's because she's Canadian," started Root. "I mean, it is the Maple Stone."

"But Canada's made up of masses of different cultures and bloodlines that have immigrated there all through history. It's not like in most parts of Europe, where the people were just there," Foaly put in.

"Except for the Native tribes," Kim said, remembering a lesson in history class.

"Holmes, would you happen to have any of that blood in you?"

"Yeah, actually. I think it was my dad's father's mother. Or was it Mom's mother's mother? No, Mom's mother was the Irish one. In any case, I think I've got a bit of Miqmaw somewhere in my family tree. I kind of come from a cultural crossing."

"That obvious, as although your roots are traced back to Scotland, Holmes is an English name."

"Thank you, Mr. We-Don't-Give-A-Damn," muttered Holly.

"Wait a minute," said Root slowly. "How do we know she's entirely human?"

"The blood test, Julius," sighed Foaly.

"Exactly. That extra magic we sensed could be pent up, making it seem like less. How do we know this seemingly useless girl isn't a full fledged demon, and we're about to meet our Judgment Day?"

"Now really, Julius," said Kim. "Do I look like a demon to you?"

"You could be a shape shifter. Besides, didn't you say, Artemis, that she knew a lot about the paranormal? And don't called me Julius."

"It's called an interest. I'm not a demon, Frodo," Kim said, rolling her eyes.

"Then what's that around your neck?" he asked, pointing to a black cord, barely visible.

"This?" She pulled it off. It was a small, metallic web on a cheap cord. It was only the size of a dollar coin.

"That's a dream catcher," offered Artemis. "Although they are usually decorated with feathers and beads and such, and aren't usually metal. It's a myth that while good dreams will pass through the centre of the web, nightmares with get caught, and die in the light of the day. Holmes's necklace is a mere trinket, and I doubt it's even real silver."

"It's not. It's just a good luck charm my mom gave me on my first day of school. I really just wear it out of habit."

Root grunted, unconvinced.

Holly took the necklace from Kim, and ran a slim finger over it. "They're right, Commander. If this had any magical properties, I'd sense them." She handed it back.

The girl replaced the pendant around her neck. "I'm telling you, the most magic I've experienced is in dreams, most of them involving extremely hot wizards. By the way, what time is it?"

Artemis checked the incredibly expensive watch on his wrist. "Almost eleven, although I don't see what wizards have to do with what time it is."



"Whoa, how'd it get so late?"

"We left your house at about three thirty, you were knocked out by the dart for at least six hours, and you've been at Fowl Manor for several more."

"Oh," she blinked, as she had not really expected him to answer her.

The boy genius sighed. "Juliet, could you show Holmes to a spare room? No doubt she's a bit worn out after the day's events."

The younger Butler nodded, and motioned for Kim to follow her out of the room. As soon as the door had closed, the all verbal hell broke lose.



"Honestly, if she was any slower, she'd be going backwards."

"Someone in her bloodline was defiantly a Shaman."

"I still think she's a demon."