Everyone was seated in the living room. The Maple Stone had been placed on the coffee table where everyone, including the camera on Foaly's view screen, could see it. Artemis and Foaly had been thinking up theories, and testing them. They mainly involved electrical charges and chemicals, things Kim liked to avoid on good days.
Root, who was basically sitting there, nodding occasionally and pretending to know what the two genii were talking about, noticed something. The human girl seemed somewhat familiar. He just couldn't place his finger on what it was.
Glancing towards the elf, Kim frowned. "What the hell are you staring at, Mini-Me?"
"I feel like I've seen you before."
"Can't say I feel the same."
Foaly tore his gaze from Artemis's latest plan, and studied the girl's face. "Maybe we mind wiped one of her relatives. Bootleggers up North used to run into faeries all the time. Can't count the number of moonshiners we had to wipe. Well, with my technology we can, but it's an expression. When I get some time, I'll run a check on my files. We have mug shots of every human we ever wiped."
Root frowned. "That's probably it, but she still reminds me of someone."
She shrugged. "So? Fowl reminds me of a lot of people. Tao Ren, Dracula, Darth Vader, Macavity…"
The centaur raised an eyebrow. "Macavity? Isn't that a bit harsh?"
"No, not really. They're both kidnappers, and they both got screwed over by magic."
"Technically, it was the People who were 'screwed over', if that's how you put it," said Artemis dryly. "It was because of the restrictions that came with their magic that they were unable to rescue Captain Short, and were forced to give me the gold."
"Ah, whatever. Jacob Brent is still adorable," she said, crossing her arms and propping her feet on the oak coffee table. Although she didn't notice it, it had a slight dent in the corner where her head had hit it the day before.
"You know, you may not be as idiotic as you seem," Artemis commented, frowning at her dirty shoes on the expensive furniture. "After all, you did keep your back turned to all of the cameras in the hall, even the one focused on the portrait of Father. How on earth did you see those cameras?"
"I have perfect vision. It's a gift, really," she said airily. She decided not to mention that she had been looking at the paintings, not turning her back. She hadn't even noticed one camera.
"If you have perfect vision, then why do you wear glasses?" asked Holly, smirking slightly.
Kim pushed the mentioned glasses up the bridge of her nose, and scowled. They were slightly crooked, as they had once saved her from a broken nose via a road hockey ball and the absence of a proper helmet. "That's circular logic. Or a paradox. Or something… Speaking of cameras, out of curiosity, was my room bugged?"
"Yes, it was," admitted Artemis. "I turned all of the cameras off, however. I doubt you would have any weapons, and Butler checked you while you were drugged in the car. Besides, the last thing I want to have on tape is you without any clothes on." He gave a small shudder.
"Yeah, well the feeling's mutual. There was a camera in the bathroom mirror, right?"
"Why on earth would I put a camera in the mirror? It's the most obvious place in the room."
"Well, people could think that it was so obvious you wouldn't put one there, so they wouldn't bother to check there. Then again, people could think that it was so obvious you wouldn't put one there then think that you thought they wouldn't check there because it was so obvious and check there. But then… Never mind, I'm confused now."
"It obviously doesn't take much," Artemis muttered, returning to his notes. "Hmm, you seem to have a very interesting extracurricular life. I wouldn't have thought you would be a hockey player."
"And why not?" she asked, honestly offended.
"Because from what I've seen of hockey, most of them are brainless hulking idiots who probably can't tie their own shoes, let alone pass seventh grade."
"Hey, that's a stereotype! For your information, we were two games away from winning the Provincials last year. Then again, we did face our share of hulking idiots. Only reason we beat them was because they didn't know how to skate straight."
"In the drama club as well, are you? I see your school is doing the Wizard of Oz this year. Who are you, one of the flying monkeys?"
"I'm the Wicked Witch of the West," Kim scowled. "I kind of got voluntold for the part. No one wanted to be in drama after the fiasco we had last year with Annie. You don't want to know, trust me."
"Voluntold isn't a real word," he sighed.
"Sure it is. It's when someone makes you do something, but they make it seem like you wanted to do it. Volun-told."
Artemis sighed again. He had being doing a lot of that lately. "Grab the stone. We're going to run a shock through it to see if it reacts. For your sake, you'd better hope that stone isn't a conductor."
She muttered something about inhumane treatment, and took the stone. A wire was wrapped around it, and when Fowl flicked a switch, electricity shot through it. Oddly enough, Kim didn't even feel her hand burn. But nothing happened with the stone.
Foaly tapped something on his laptop. "Another failure. Frond damn thing."
"Maybe it's not the stone, maybe it's the person using it," suggested Root sarcastically.
"Look, would you throw me a bone, here?" she complained. "I'm trying as hard as I can! So forgive me for not being born with magic!"
"As if anyone cares," said Foaly, not looking up from his screen. "Faeries aren't born with magic, they complete their first Ritual when they reach the age of no one's listening, are they?"
No one was paying enough attention to respond.
"Why the hell are you shocking me?" Kim complained. "Why not zap one of the elves?"
"They have a reason to be able to touch the stone," pointed out Foaly. "They have magic. You don't. By the way, at any time in your life, have you produced blue sparks out of your hands?"
"Um, no," she said slowly, giving him the oddest Look humanly possible.
"Just checking."
"Right…"
Foaly sighed, and turned back to his computers. "This is insane. Nothing about you should be triggering this stone. If it's the Irish blood, it should work for Artemis. If it's the Native blood, there's too little to track it. I just don't get it."
Holly gave a mock gasp of terror. "Oh, Frond! Foaly doesn't know something! Prepare the bomb shelters! Get the emergency rations! It's the end of the world!"
"Short, knock it off with the sarcasm. Fowl, what the hell are you doing?" barked Root.
"Adjusting the electrical pulse. Nobody touch it unless they want to be burned to a proverbial crisp. Oh, and what time is it, Butler?"
The manservant looked at his watch. "Nearly eleven, Artemis. Juliet should be back by now."
"We should be happy for her. She's escaped from this never-ending torture with this brainless idiot. And here I was thinking that the stereotypical morons were all blonde."
"I'm telling you, Fowl. She's not a complete blockhead," Foaly sighed "She's got a knack for abstract thinking. How can I… Ah! Tell me, Artemis, if it takes one man ten minutes to fill a bathtub with water, how long will it take two men to fill the same bathtub?"
"That's simple," he replied aloofly. "Five minutes, presuming that there were no variables, such as the speed of the men, the size of the buckets used, mishaps, and etcetera."
"Holmes, same question."
"Simple," she said airily. "None."
"Excuse me?" asked Artemis, honestly amazed at how stupid she was.
"I said none. It wouldn't take them any time, because if they were filling the same bathtub, it would already be full," she said, pushing her glasses up.
"The tub would be emptied!" protested Artemis.
"But it doesn't say that, now does genius-boy?" Kim smirked. "You just assume that. You shouldn't assume; it makes an ass out of you and me."
"See what I mean?" asked Foaly apologetically. "Abstract thinking."
"You know, when I went to school, that wasn't called abstract thinking," growled Root. "It was called being a wise-ass."
"And when was that, Julius?" the girl asked. "When dinosaurs ruled the earth?"
"Now you listen hear, you cocky little Mud Girl, if you weren't a civilian…"
Kim's only response to this was to whistle the first few bars of Bustopher Jones, which no one but Foaly had ever heard before. Root suspected it was something insulting, however, and glared at her furiously.
"What? Has no one in this room seen Cats?" she said, honestly surprised.
"You can't blame the Recon jocks, they can't help it if they have a severally impaired knowledge of the fine arts," Foaly sighed. "Julius probably wouldn't know what a Jellicle was if Macavity jumped on top of him and clawed his eyes out."
"You really don't know what you're missing," Kim advised. "Go out and get the video. Of course, it really doesn't do the play justice, nothing beats a live performance. It left out Growltiger's Last Stand, too, which bites. But, beggars can't be choosers, I guess. And man, when Elaine Paige hits those high notes… It's awesome."
"Ah, a Cats fanatic, I assume," smirked the centaur. "Tell me, who's your favourite tom and queen from the video?"
"Jeez, only two? Well, Rumpelteazer's up there, but I've got to say their routine is better on stage. Still, she's the best queen, although Jenny's got to be second. Gus is wicked, but the video rips him up. I mean, take away Growltiger and poor Asparagus is just some sad old guy. Still, Fireforfiddle and the emotional breakdown at the end was a nice touch."
"That really got me," agreed Foaly. "John Mills knows how to do it."
"Does he ever. I'm going to have to say Old Deuteronomy's my favourite tom, just because Mungojerrie's a male version of Teazer, and because Jacob Brent had about two lines in the movie. He's after Deut, though. I have to admit, those jump things were neat."
"Okay, during Memory, right before the second act. When Grizabella's walking away, there's a close-up on Deuteronomy. There's a tear on his cheek, right?"
"Something's catching the light, I'd put my money on a tear. Ken Page can really bring out Old Deut. Griz and him are mates, you can tell. And when the Rum Tum Tugger says 'his numerous progeny', you can see the look he gives Munkustrap. Brothers, to be sure. They imply so much in the video. I guess it's just the close-ups."
"Okay," blinked Root. "They lost me as soon as they opened their mouths."
"They're talking about the play Cats," offered Artemis. "I've never seen it, thank God, but I've heard it's extremely annoying. From what I gather, it's about a tribe of cats who dance and sing songs about one another, and then they pick someone to die."
"Speaking of Memory, have you ever noticed that when she starts the song, she's standing on her tail? I mean, there are tons of little things you can spot if you've watched the video enough. Like when Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer first come out…"
"We do not need to hear about your pathetic little obsessions, Holmes!" shouted Commander Root. "This is a serious military operation, and you two are treating it like a People-Who-Need-Lives Convention!"
"Were we talking to you?" Kim asked, not intimidated at all. "We are trying to have a conversation here, if you don't mind. If you can't add to it, butt out."
"You arrogant little…" was all he could gasp out. His face was turning its familiar red colour.
"Julius does have a point," sighed Foaly. "We have work to do. We can finish this discussion at a later date."
"Whatever that was, it wasn't a discussion!" hollered Root. "It was just plain sad!"
"Some of us have different, and superior, opinions to what makes a reasonable topic for discussion, Julius," the girl said, not able to hide a smile as she perfectly mimicked Artemis's upper-class Irish accent. "Just because it's beyond your intellect is no reason to harass us about it."
Holly had to stifle laughter, and Artemis gave a scowl to defeat all scowls.
"We are in a very serious situation, Kimberly," he frowned, using her full name because he had read in her e-journal that she hated it. "If you want to be a mimic, do it somewhere else, on your own time."
"Well, excuse me for breathing, Mr. High-and-Mighty!" Kim huffed.
"Now, listen to me very carefully. The stone is cooling down after a charge, and it is harmless. Despite this, unknown powers could be brewing in it, and you could very well activate them unmonitored. Do not, I repeat, do not touch that stone."
Artemis looked away to say something to Foaly and Commander Root, but Kim didn't hear them. She was completely focused on the Maple Stone.
Those of you who have worked with small children and/or teenagers have probably learned by now that ordering them not to do something usually results in them doing it, even if they hadn't even considered doing it before. Artemis, for all his genius, hadn't spent much time around (normal) teenagers, therefore didn't know the most basic facts about them.
It was haunting her. It was sitting there, begging her to touch it. And while she had enough willpower to resist when her father dangled barbecued chicken in front of her face, she didn't have enough to resist defying Artemis.
She reached out, and her long, pale fingers closed around the blood red stone.
There was no word in any language to describe what happened next. There wasn't even a word to define what type of word it would have been if there had been a word. The only thing Kim could compare it to was the Tower of Terror in MGM, only a million times worse, and going not only down, but in every direction at the same time.
And then there was darkness.