April 12, 1912

The roar of the crowds on the deck of the ship was deafening. We were finally departing the shores of Southampton and everyone was waving goodbye to their loved ones. I wished that Katherine, Marie and Sarah could've been there, but I had to face the reality that they were not. I shut the curtains and went into my bedroom. All that was on my mind was my earlier encounter with Caledon Hockley. Even though we had met for just a brief moment, his presence had intrigued me. I stretched out onto my bed and exhaustion took a strong hold of my body.

After a short nap, I woke up and had almost forgotten where I was. It felt as if I had stepped into the room for the first time all over again. The sensation overwhelmed me; so much that I wanted to just break down and cry like a child. Marie said that she was going to attempt to get a hold of Uncle Alexander- but what if she couldn't? I would be stranded in New York City alone- with nowhere to go and no one to turn to.

"Everything will work out. I just have to leave it in the hands of God."

I whispered those words out loud to myself, mostly just for my own reassurance. I got off of the bed and looked out of the window. I could see people on the first class deck strolling, observing the ocean and doing other various activities. I couldn't stand to be cooped up in the room any longer, so I decided to get some fresh air myself. Before I had taken my nap, I had put away my clothes in a small closet, so I went in there to pick out something to wear on the deck. I finally decided on a beautiful leisure dress that Katherine had given to me as a gift. It was yellow with short sleeves and matching white trim. Katherine had even found a matching set of gloves and a parasol to go with it. After changing and freshening up a bit, I left the room and joined the others on the first class deck. I made my way to the rail and looked down at the white, frothy water- the ship was moving at an extraordinary speed. Then I looked up and across the endless waters. A part of me wished that Stephen could have been there to experience everything with me- but a larger part of me was happy to be free for the first time in my life.

I closed my eyes and let the sea breeze touch my face. After a few minutes of quiet reflection, I turned around and observed everyone around me. There was yet another deck above us, which I hadn't noticed before. I also hadn't noticed that someone was watching me. I immediately recognized the person staring at me- it was Caledon Hockley. He smiled and waved at me, and I returned the gesture. Then he beckoned for me to come up and join him. I was at little reluctant at first, but then I gave in. I made my way to the staircase that led up to the higher deck and Caledon was waiting for me.

"Hello, Victoria. Beautiful afternoon, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

"I couldn't help but notice that you were by yourself. A woman with beauty like yours shouldn't be alone- especially on a ship as grand as Titanic. Who will you be joining tonight at dinner?"

"Well, I…I don't know anyone. That is, besides you."

"Then you should be my special guest tonight at dinner."

"I would love to. But who was that woman earlier who was calling for you? Remember, when I returned your pocket watch to you?"

"Yes, yes. That was my fiancée's mother."

My stomach dropped a little- I guess I had jumped to conclusions that he was unattached.

"I see. So why aren't you going to dinner with your fiancée?"

"She'll be there. In fact, I'll introduce you."

Caledon turned around and called, "Rose, darling? Come here for a moment!"

A youthful woman with bright red hair approached us. She didn't have the glow of a woman about to be married to a handsome man- she looked unhappy and preoccupied.

"Rose, this is Victoria. She's the one who found my pocket watch earlier. Victoria, this is my fiancée Rose."

I extended my hand and said, "Pleased to meet you."

Rose shook my hand with a forced smile and replied, "Likewise."

Caledon added, "Victoria will be joining us tonight at dinner."

"Are you travelling alone?" Rose asked.

"Yes. It was supposed to be my husband and I, but..but he passed away nearly a month ago."

"I'm very sorry."

"Thank you."

"Well, I hate to be rude, but I'm going to go back to the room. Cal, are you coming?"

"I'll be there in a moment."

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Victoria. I'll see you tonight."

"Very well."

After Rose left, I looked at Cal and said, "She seems very…young."

"She's seventeen."

"Seventeen!"

"It's a long story, our romance. Maybe I'll explain it to you tonight."

"It's really none of my business."

"No, it's all right. I never have the chance to discuss my life with anyone- it seems as if my life revolves around business conversations."

"But don't you talk to Rose about your personal life? After all, she is the woman you're going to marry."

Caledon whispered something under his breath that sounded like something along the lines of, "Don't remind me."

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing."

He halted the conversation and stared deep into my eyes. Even Stephen had never done that before. Whenever he had looked at me, he had never made a connection with my soul. After a few more seconds, Caledon broke the glance and shook his head.

"There's something about you, Victoria."

I was at a loss for words and felt somewhat uncomfortable. In actuality, it wasn't that I was uncomfortable. It was the fact that I was becoming emotionally attached to a man that I hadn't even known for five hours. A man who was getting married to another woman, nonetheless.

I backed away from him and said, "I should really get going. I still have some unpacking to do."

"I'll walk you back to your room."

I sighed and said, "If you insist."

He held out his arm and I linked mine in his. We walked back inside and to the hallway where our rooms were. We stopped in front of my doorway, but Caledon kept my arm locked inside of his.

"Dinner starts at seven o'clock," he said, "so I will meet you at the Grand Staircase at let's say…quarter to seven."

"All right. I'll be there."

"And I'm sure you'll look exquisite."

I smiled at him and replied, "Thank you. I'll see you then."

He kissed my hand and said, "Goodbye, Victoria."

"Goodbye."

I went into my room and closed the door behind me. My heart felt like it was trying to escape from my chest by beating its way out. It made me long for the company of Sarah- she had always been my confidant for everything. I had so many thoughts racing through my head and no one to confess my feelings too. I spotted a set of Titanic stationary and a pen with an inkwell, resting upon a desk. I walked over to the desk and sat down. I had never been one to write my feelings and emotions down, but my head was racing with thoughts and dreams. I picked up the pen and suddenly the words flowed onto the paper.

"April 12, 1912

I've never kept a record of my thoughts like other women do. I have never believed in expressing my feelings in this way, but there's no one with me that I can confide in. Even though I have grown accustomed to the beauty and grandeur of Titanic, I would give anything to be back home right now. I miss Marie, Katherine and Sarah terribly. However, I have enjoyed the company of one individual. Earlier this afternoon, I had the pleasure of meeting a man named Caledon Hockley. He has the most beautiful shade of brown eyes I've ever seen. When he talks to me, he looks directly into my eyes- to the point where it nearly penetrates my soul. I feel like a foolish schoolgirl, not a twenty-five year old woman who just lost her husband. I feel like I'm committing a sin- Stephen hasn't even been deceased for a month yet and I'm starting to feel affectionate towards this stranger that I met today. Caledon invited me to dinner- along with his fiancée and her mother. I don't understand- why is a man with a fiancée expressing interest in me? He seems to be dedicated to Rose…but then again, I don't know what happens behind his closed doors. I just cannot handle having my heart trampled upon again. It seems as if my life has been nothing but heartbreak and anguish at times- and that's why I chose to leave England. I had no intentions of meeting a man like Caledon on the Titanic. The more I think about it, the more it drives me insane."

I looked at what I had written down and took a deep breath. I put the pen down and held my head in my hands. Then a knock at the door brought me back to the real world. When I answered the door, I was surprised to see Rose standing there.

"Hello, Rose," I said.

"Victoria, I'm going down to have social tea with some of the other women. Caledon said that you haven't had a chance to meet anyone else on the ship- this might be a way to do so."

I thought for a moment and replied, "It won't hurt to meet some new people, I guess."

I picked up my handbag and left the room with Rose.

"Thank you for inviting me," I said.

"It's my pleasure."

"Is your mother joining us?"

"She's already down there."

"I see."

"So I notice that Cal's taken quite an interest in you."

I didn't know what to say, so I just answered, "I bet he's naturally like that with a lot of women."

"He is, but I could hear it in the way he talked to you."

Strangely, Rose didn't seem concerned at all. In a way, it was as if she was pushing me to pursue further interest in Caledon.

"I'm very flattered at his attention, but he's getting married to you and I'm sure he loves you very much."

"I'm not sure if you're right about that. But I don't blame him- my mother is forcing us to love each other. That is, if you want to call it love."

I was completely taken aback by what Rose was telling me. She sounded like a little girl who was tired with her favorite doll. I couldn't comprehend how she was able to talk about a man like Caledon in that manner. There were so many questions I wanted to ask her, but I didn't want to appear to be intruding on her personal life.

Instead, I smiled and asked, "So, who are some of the women who are going to be having tea with us?"

"Well, there's Molly Brown. She's this incredible woman who.."

Rose's words faded in my head and all I heard was Caledon's voice echoing.

"There's something about you, Victoria…"

Little did I know that the evening would unfold to be one of the most interesting of my life.