Welcome back! I know chapter 1 wasn't that funny, but it gets better…
Cartman walked down the road. A limo passed by him.
"Onleh famous people drive limos," he said as a started chasing the limo.
Sure enough, inside the limo was Hillary Duff.
"Like, oh my gosh. What is that sound" she asked to the driver.
"Oh, sorry. I farted. Infact, I don't shower, I let animals go to the bathroom in the limo and I'm hiding cold, rotting dead bodies under the seats," he said.
"There's like some fat kid in a thong, like running, like, after, like, us. Like, like like." Hillary said.
"Goddamnit, wait" screamed Cartman.
"Like you should like pull over, like" said Hillary in a very serious tone.
The car stopped. Cartman jumped inside.
"Hillary, I've been your secret biggest fan for almost three days now and I love your music, especially the song where you sing horribly out of tune" he said.
"What, like, song is that" she asked.
"Duh, don't you know your own music. That's all of your songs. You sing horribly out of tune in all of your songs" he said.
"Like limo driver guy, through this fat child out. He has offended my like intelli-like-gence" Hillary said.
"Why don't you do it, since your so smart, and strong and independent" said the limo driver.
"I like will," she said as she through him out.
Cartman bounced on the ground and rolled down a hill.
"I have to perform with her," he yelled.
After the ride, Hillary was sitting with her manager in a room.
"Now, Hillary. For your next concert, I was thinking of doing some sort of military-theme. But the actual military turned us down with claims that they aren't retarted so we have to go with these bums I picked up off the street." Said the manager in an angry tone.
There stood (all dressed in camouflage uniforms, holding guns) Chef, Mr. Garrison (and Mr. Hat of coarse), Kenny's dad, Towlie and some twitchy guy.
"Well, like as long as like no one like asks me my like favourite like color. It's like private! Because us celebrities have it bad. We have millions of dollars, millions of people who would pay millions of dollars to see us, but we don't get everything we want. Just because I can buy everything I want, sometimes I question my reason of living. So, if you would all donate 100 million dollars to my "Help Hillary" fund I might feel a bit better, and I might go a few weeks without asking for more money" Hillary said.
Chef, Mr. Garrison, Kenny's dad, Towlie and some twitchy guy all shot her.
THE END
Just kidding, you thought that was the end. HAHAHA it was a joke. Well, the end of Hillary Duff, but the story, no. It gets better! So tune in next time for another episode of Snoopy doesn't save Christmas.