AN: Big thanks to all my reviews. Sorry this took so long, school's been hell so far. Two words; Math. Sucks. And for those wondering: Will Artemis and Kim ever get to the point where they're not constantly trying to kill each other? Yes. Will they were like each other? There's a small possibility. Will they ever love each other? Okay, try to picture a relationship between a snake and a mongoose. It's not gonna happen.

Root got to his feet, and looked around, assessing the situation. One captain, semi-conscious. One huge human manservant, out for the count. No creepy boy genius and no annoying human girl with a magical rock. He wasn't sure whether to be worried or glad.

"Ugh," Holly moaned, dragging herself up. "Whatever the hell is causing that, I'm going to kill it. I don't care if it's a god, or a spirit, or Holmes, I'm going to take my blaster and I'm going to kill it."

"I'll help you if it's Holmes you want to kill. But she's not here, and neither is Fowl."

"Oh, D'Arvit… Hey, our wings and helmets!"

Root looked where his captain's gaze was directed. "We left that stuff at Fowl Manor, and we didn't have it when we first got here. Where did it come from?"

The captain stood, regained her balance, and walked over to where the equipment was. She picked up the smaller helmet, her own, and ran her fingers along the surface before placing it on her head. "Doesn't seem to be damaged, and I'm pretty sure everything's working right. There might be a few wires loose, but that'd only be… what? Tunnel lights and sonar whistle? Nothing we need unless a troll shows up."

"Don't even say that," her commander warned. "That's all we need. I've got about three quarters of my magic, what about you?"

"Nearly full, I just completed the Ritual a month ago, and I haven't used much expect for minor cuts and scrapes."

"Well, we'd better try and find the others once Butler comes to. Frond knows what they're going through at the moment."

"Think she got lost?" Foaly questioned, looking up from the equations he had been scratching in the dirt. Juliet had gone out scouting twenty minutes ago, and had yet to return.

"I don't think she would. She's a Butler, after all," shrugged Artemis. "In any case, I don't think it's a good idea for us to go out looking for her, it'll only get us all lost. And God only knows what's lurking out there. We have no idea what kind of a world we're in, and no idea what kind of creatures inhabit it."

"This is the most awesome thing in the world!" Kim laughed, her voice falling on no ears other than those of the hippogriff.

She was high in the air, above the treetops. She had found that with the sweatshirt bridle, the ride wasn't all as rough as it had been described in the book. Then again, she estimated her mount to be smaller than Buckbeack, and it probably made a difference.

Of course, how the hippogriff had gotten in that world was of no concern to her. Why would it be? It was there, and she was having the time of her life. It was just like riding a horse, really. She had only ridden a horse once, though, and after it she had broken out into hives, but…

She gently nudged the beast's sides, steering her into a quick descent. She could feel the wind ripping at her hair, which had grown nearly to her shoulder over the winter. She needed to get it cut soon, it was hell trying to wash salt water out of long hair. Kim levelled the hippogriff, and began skimming the treetops, searching for any sign of life, either the others or some other creatures that could inhabit this weird world.

Nothing. Nothing was moving below. There were a few birds in the sky, but nothing interesting like phoenixes or dragons. Just crows and the odd robin.

Kim frowned, but then smiled to herself. Might as well have some fun, she thought to herself with a grin. Time to see just how fast hippogriffs could go…

Foaly paused. "Fowl… Do you hear something?"

The boy looked up. "Now that you mention it…"

"SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!"

Kim finally managed to slow the animal down and regain her breath. Well, she could cross that off of her list of things to do before she died. The girl looked down, and spotted two familiar figures. She nudged the hippogriff down further, sending both of them hurtling towards the ground.

"That sounds like…"

"D'Arvit," muttered the centaur looking up. His golden eyes widened. "D'Arvit, tell me I'm dreaming."

The beast landed heavily on all fours, sending its rider flying up and then landing hardly on its back. This was accompanied by a semi-loud yelp. From the rider, not the beast. The hippogriff settled, and ruffled its feathers, while Kim loosened her death grip on her sweatshirt to reel it towards her and tie it around her waist. She finally caught the stares coming from Foaly and Artemis.

"Okay, okay, I'll admit the landing was a little rough, but we can work on that."

"Is… Is that a griffin?" Artemis stammered, gazing wide-eyed at the beast, which towered over him by at least half a metre.

"Hell, no!" Kim snorted, as if it was the most obvious thing on earth. "It's a hippogriff. Griffins are half lion, half eagle, while hippogriffs are half horse, half eagle. Duh. You know, for a supposed genius, you're not all that bright." Then, for good measure, she added "Dumb arse."

"Gods…" Foaly whispered. "Can I touch it?"

"Bow first," she replied, dismounting and landing on the ground with a soft thud. "If she bows back, you're good to go."

The centaur gave a shallow bow, leaning over as far as his horse section would allow. When the hippogriff bowed and rose, he slowly trotted forward, craning his neck to look up at the creature.

"Beautiful, ain't she?" the girl grinned, tapping its hindquarters. "Come on, Goldendown. Lay down. Good girl!" The beast obliged, lowering itself and folding its legs under it, allowing Foaly to touch its head and examine it more closely.

"Goldendown?" questioned Artemis, still staring at the animal while Foaly stroked its beak.

"Well, I had to give her name, didn't I? I was going to name her Apollo, but that's a guy's name. The gender barrier obviously didn't hold back your parents, however. Was there some mix-up with that or something, by the way? Or are your parents just cruel?"

The boy scowled. "The name Artemis is a proud and noble one. It was the name of…"

"The Greek goddess of hunting and the moon, twin sister of Apollo, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I read God Beneath the Sea, okay? I told you, I'm an expert on this junk. But it's still a girl's name."

"My father's name was Artemis, and I am proud to share it."

"Well good for you. Can't say I'd feel the same if I was named Steven Jr., but…"

"… so, to make a long story short, I beat the pants off of Koboi and her stupid wing design, she got ticked off, and held a grudge against me for the rest of my life."

"Jeez, this pixie freak sounds like my sister. I mean, I ruin one of her Barbie dolls, which was unintentional, well, for the most part, and she's after me for a month.," Kim said, an air of fake innocence in her voice. She was riding the hippogriff again, trotting beside the other two who were on foot. And hoof. "So, where's the little spaz now?"

"Rotting away in Howler's Peak, thank Frond."

If Artemis had a gun, he would have shot himself long ago. If he heard one more word about how Harry/Draco had so much leverage over Harry/Ron, he was going to tear out his hair. If he detected so much as a syllable on Ken Page, he'd bite his tongue and drown in his own blood.

"So anyway, back to where we were before. Ever notice how when Ken Page is in movies, he always plays someone with minions?"

"How so?" questioned Foaly.

"I mean, in Cats, he was Old Deuteronomy. All bow down, it's the Jellicle leader. In The Nightmare Before Christmas, he was Oggie Boogie, and he had Lock, Shock, and Barrel. In All Dogs Go To Heaven, he was the Gator King and he had the little worshiping rats. What is up with that?"

"Self control, self control, must have self control…" muttered the boy to himself.

"Hey, did you happen to see the episode of Charmed he was in?" asked the centaur.

"Dude, I love that show."

"Isn't this ironic? Three highly trained professionals lost in the woods have no idea what to do or how to get out of it."

"This isn't a normal woods, commander," Holly replied, examining her blaster carefully. "We have no idea what's out there, more than ready to eat us alive and pick its teeth with our bones."

"Aren't we Little Miss Sunshine."

"I don't get paid to be optimistic, sir, I get paid to be realistic."

"Good answer," Butler commented, touching the grip of his own weapon, his ever-present, ever-deadly Sig Saucer. "Personally, I get paid for protecting my charge, and my top priority is to find him."

"If we landed together, maybe Holmes and Fowl did," mused Root. "Let's just hope that Mud Girl didn't hyperventilate again and die. We might need her to get back home."

"I spent four weeks in Canada as part of my training," the bodyguard said, tuning to face the elf. "And if it taught me a thing, it taught me that the people that inhabit that god-awful land aren't pushovers. The girl will be fine. It's Artemis I'm worried about."

"Yeah, poor little Mud Boy is probably shaking in his loafers right now."

Butler paused. "I hear something."

The elves were still, and also detected a rustling in the bushes. Something burst forth, and instantly had three guns pointed at it.

"Don't shoot!"

"Juliet!" exclaimed the bodyguard. "What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping you could answer that," she admitted. "I kinda sorta got lost. The stars aren't normal here, and there's no sun. Artemis told me that, maybe I should have considered it before I headed off, huh?"

"You saw Artemis? Is he okay? Why on earth did you leave him?"

"Yeah, I woke up and he was there, and the centaur was still passed out. He got up before I left, through. I tried to find my way back to them, but I guess I ended up here. And sorry I didn't think before I acted, okay? I don't have a blue diamond yet, okay?"

"Was there any sign of Holmes?" asked Root, lighting up a cigar.

"Nope, not a trace. But if I found you guys, maybe she met up with Artemis and Foaly."

"… I'm telling you, Camp Kidston kicks ass. I mean, it's a bible camp, but we don't do anything remotely religious. Hell, half the kids there weren't even Christian. And the councillors had no control over us. If they told us to do something, it was a suggestion. We hung out in the cabins all day, eating junk food we smuggled in and listening to heavy metal and show tunes."

"I sounds very biblical," Artemis quipped sarcastically.

"Tell me about it. Our councillor even let use watch baseball in the staff room, but I'm not really into baseball, you know? I mean, have you ever seen the Montreal Expos play? They've got a longer losing streak than that coyote in the Roadrunner cartoons. No idea how they suckered the States into buying them."

"Could you fly up and scan the ground?" Fowl scowled, wanting very much to get the girl out of his hair. "We might be near some of the others."

She flipped him a mock salute before bridling the hippogriff. She kicked the beast, and launched into the air.

"I hope she falls off and dies," the boy said firmly, sitting down on the cleanest part of the ground his could find. "Then we wouldn't have to listen to her insane babbling."

"Aw, come on, she's not that bad," Foaly shrugged. "You're just mad because you're not the centre of attention for once. And she's got some good points."

"Such as?"

"Well, such as why we're here. She reads a mix of science fiction, fantasy, and historical tragedies. It's bound to come in handy. And she knows the terrain, her homeland is remarkably similar to this."

"Probably lives in a log cabin."

"You've been to her house, Fowl, she doesn't live out in the middle of a forest. But she's probably spent more time out here than you and I have."

"You're a centaur, shouldn't you have some connection with nature?"

"I left Main Haven when I was thirty, and I haven't gone back since. Besides, I lived in a valley, not in a forest."

There was a crash and the hippogriff glided to the ground, landing softer than it had last time.

"I see the others!" Kim exclaimed. "They're in a small clearing, not far from here. Maybe a fifteen minute walk. There wasn't much room to land, and I don't think they saw me."

"Good," nodded Foaly. "I want to get out of here, I hate nature. Too uncontrollable. I much prefer computers, they do what they're told."

"I take it you haven't had too many dates, pony."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what about you?"

"I'm a teenager, I've got hope. I could wake up one morning and look like Pamela Anderson. But you're old, you're ugly for life."

"Thanks for the ego booster."

"Any time."

"And I'm not old, I'm only one hundred twenty-three years young."

Kim's eyes widened.

"That's about twenty-eight to us," Artemis added.

"Oh. Alright then. Scared me there for a minute. Still old, though."

"Is not."

"Is so."