Chapter three- Horrible News

Cartman went back to his house, a little sad that Hillary didn't like him.

"I must perform with her," he yelled.

His mother walked in the house.

"Perform with who Pookey? I'll perform with you. You know sweetie, the little dance you did when you were five." she said.

"Mom, I'm not a retard. I want to perform with Hilary Duff," said Cartman.

"Sounds pretty retarted to me," said his mom.

Cartman got changed and went to Stan's.

"Hey fatass, did you meet Hillary Cheese-Puff?" asked Stan.

"I did, and I'm gonna perform her song with her" said Cartman.

He sat on the couch where Kyle and Stan were watching TV. The man on the news said.

"This just in, Punk-Teens have popped the tires of an elderly women, and on a lighter note, Hillary Duff was killed. I feel terribly sorry for that women and her tires, don't you Jim?"

"Yes, it is a sad story. When will you heartless scum learn that that that elderly lady was a human being and might have enjoyed life? Now with her tires gone, her life won't be full anymore," said Jim, the other news reporter.

A TV add showed up:

"Welcome, to the 134, 234, 563rd edition of Survivor. Do you have what it takes? If you think so call 1800-this-show-is-fixed and leave your name, age and sexual prefrence and then send in a tape of someone giving birth and the 10 that gross us out the most will win a place on the show" said the Survivor voice-over guy.

"Oh, kick-ass. We could win a million dollars!" said Cartman.

"$643, 234 and forty-two cents you stupid fatass, the government takes some" said Kyle.

"I have three copies of Kenny's mom giving birth to him, but I don't know why, er yeah that's it." said Stan while shifting his eyes side to side.

That night, all three of them called in. Cartman was first.

"Uh, yes I am a young 8-year-old boy. I would like to try out for Survivor" he said.

"I'm sorry son, you're to young" said the man on the phone.

"Did I say eight, I meant 92" said Cartman.

"Well that's great, just send in your tape and we'll call you back if you win" said the man on the phone.

Sorry for the wait and I hoped you liked the chapter