AN: To answer a few reviews:

slime frog: I just wanted to make Foaly younger because... Well, just because, really. And no, I don't need anything to back it up.

BeatlesLover: Most of the one-liners in here come from either me or the person Kim is based off of. Or from Monty Python or Douglas Adams.

Identity99: I'm more of a Ron/Harry myself, but Kel will kill anyone who doesn't like Harry/Draco. She's a bit... vengeful at times...

And to everyone who's wondering, yes, the hippogriff will be explained in time.

"Well?"

Kim looked up from the Maple Stone, which she had been staring into. "Well what?"

"You've got to have some idea what's going on," Root scowled. "You brought us here. What's our position?"

"Position?"

"What in the hell is going on!"

She sighed, tilting the stone so that it caught the light from the red orb in the sky and bounced it to make a faint red mark on a nearby tree. "Well, I guess I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"The bad news," replied the commander.

"The bad news is that we're in a place where we don't know where we are, we don't know how to get home, and we have no idea what creatures could be roaming it and more than willing to make a meal out of us."

Artemis stared at her with his chilling ice blue eyes. "And the good news?"

"The good news? I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance."

Root rose, drawing his blaster. "That does it, I'm killing her."

"Sit down, Julius," sighed Foaly. "No one's killing anyone, so quit waving that gun around. What we need is a plan, and nothing of the likes is coming out of Kim's mind."

"Hey!"

"It's the truth, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but you don't have to point it out like that…" she muttered, sounding slightly hurt. "I mean, you've got bald spots on your hindquarters, but you don't see me rubbing your nose in it."

"I think the main question is, why are we here?" Artemis said, gesturing to the sky. "Why is all this here? What happened to make us go here? And can that stone get us home again?"

"Hold up, how do you even know if the Maple Stone is what caused all of this?" protested Kim.

"What in the hell else could it be?" Root growled, taking a long drag on his cigar.

She thought for a moment, and then her face lit up. "There is a theory which states that if anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here…"

"… it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable," finished Foaly. "The intro to Douglas Adams's The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. But how does that help us? Unless one of us isn't telling us something, we obviously didn't figure that out."

"I'm not saying that we did! I'm saying that someone else, somewhere else, discovered it. I just happened to be holding the stone at the same time as the universe change, therefore you all automatically pinned the blame on me."

Artemis was understandably unimpressed. "Then how do you explain what happened when you hit that stone against the tree?"

"This is an entirely new universe! Who are you to say we don't get tossed around this world at random, or maybe even timed, intervals? After all…" She knocked the Maple Stone against the nearest tree trunk. "Nothing."

"That is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!" protested the child genius. "What makes you think that something from a book can be real?"

"Fowl, there's a hippogriff trying to eat your hair," Holly pointed out. "Let's not start getting choosey about what is and isn't possible."

Artemis pushed the creature's beak away from his head. "Holmes, can't you do something about this animal?"

The girl shrugged. "Try asking her nicely."

Root exhaled a cloud of smoke, causing Kim to cough and splutter.

"Put that damn think out!" she scowled, fanning the air.

"You can't tell me what to do, Mud Girl. We're not in a dwelling."

She flicked her wrist, slapping the cigar out of his small elf hand and onto the forest floor, where she ground it out with the heel of her sneaker. "Frankly, Julius, I don't give a damn."

"There are strangers in my realm," rasped a voice from the shadows of the room. "I want them all dead. Especially the girl."

"T-the girl?" asked a warrior, slightly fearful. "Y-you don't mean…"

"The girl with the brown hair and the blue eyes. The one with the Maple Stone. I want her to die."

"B-but…"

"Do not contradict me! This is my realm, and this girl and her companions threaten it! I want them all to be killed as soon as possible!"

"Y-yes, o-of course," the warrior stammered, bowing before quickly fleeing the room.

The group was moving again. Butler led, Artemis behind him, then the elves, then Foaly, then Kim leading Goldendown, and Juliet brought up the rear.

The hippogriff gave a nervous squawk, and balked its head. Kim gave it a reassuring thump on the side, but still ran a hand through her hair nervously.

The centaur looked back. "Trouble?"

"Something's not right," she muttered, tugging at the sleeves of her sweatshirt to make sure it was secure around her waist. "Something's not right at all."

"I don't feel anything," Holly argued. "It can't be anything serious."

"Since when have you known more about this place than the rest of us, Holmes?" glared Artemis. "And settle that thing down, or I'll be chasing it off."

"Oh, you'll chase it off? Have you read Prisoner of Azkaban? You should see what hippogriffs can do to whiny, snot-nosed, sissy rich boys. Only difference between you and Draco is that he's blonde, British, and hotter than you can ever hope to be."

The boy rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. If you are referring to that actor in that ridiculous movie Juliet forced me to watch, I feel I should say that he is quite possibly one of the worst actors I have ever seen, and that his hair looks like someone poured laundry detergent on it."

Kim balled her left hand into a fist. "You take that back, you son of a…"

"Now, now," chuckled Foaly. "You can't go losing your temper each and every time Fowl baits you. Just bait him back."

"Bait me? I am not a fish!" scowled Artemis.

"Never said you were."

"You implied that I was a fish."

"Are you suggesting coconuts are migratory?"

"Holmes, what in the name of Frond does that have to do with anything?" Root growled.

She shrugged. "I don't know, nothing really. I just felt like saying it."

"How on earth could a coconut migrate?"

"A swallow could carry it."

"A… Oh, for the love of…"

Holly, Butler, and Juliet all exchanged glances. Things could get very bloody, very quickly.

"Look, could you just calm down before your heart explodes, Julius?"

"Listen here, Mud Whelp…"

Something whizzed through the air, narrowly avoiding Juliet's ear, and struck a tree trunk, less than half a centimetre above Kim's head.

The girl looked up, cross-eyed in an attempt to see what had nearly pierced her skull. "Jesus H. Christ."

"You can say that again," Root said, half not believing it.

"Jesus H. Christ," she repeated, her voice a bit faint.

Buried in the tree was an arrow. Its shaft was oak, and the feathers on the end of it were a dark purple.

"Jesus H. Christ," Kim said, for the third time.

"Stop saying that," snapped Artemis.

"God, Ganesh, Buddha and Zeus, Hera and the Holy Mother."

Holly fired up her wings. "I'm going to see if I can find the person who did that." She flew into the forest, Root close behind her.

"Think they'll be okay in there?" Juliet questioned.

"A mere arrow can't pierce LEP uniforms," Foaly snorted. "They'll be fine."

Another arrow flew down, nicking Goldendown's hindquarters. The hippogriff gave a loud caw, and took flight. Kim reached out to grab it, but only caught a single wing feather in her fist. It was plucked out as the beast flew away, still screeching.

An arrow identical to the first two came down, nearly nailing Holmes's foot to the ground.

"We're under siege!" she squeaked. "Head for the hills!"

"Were are those coming from?" muttered Juliet, scanning the woods. "I don't…"

"There!" Butler exclaimed, pointing out a barely noticeable camouflaged figure. The siblings and Kim took off after it, Kim only lagging slightly behind Juliet.

Artemis and Foaly stood there in silence, but no more arrows came down.

"Those arrows were coming from more than one place," Foaly said finally. "They keep shooting once Holly and Root left. They stopped once Butler, Juliet, and Kim left. It's one of those three that they're after."

"And I can guess which one," replied Artemis, looking out but no longer able to see the three through the trees.

Kim's breathing was starting to become ragged as she tried her hardest to keep up with the Butlers, who never even spared a glance back as they ran after the darting figure who was so far ahead of them they had almost lost sight of him.

There was a rotten log in the way, but the siblings jumped it easily and continued, showing no signs of slowing down. The younger girl's foot slipped, and she went flying and ended up with pine needles both in her mouth and down her shirt.

She spit, and pulled herself up to sit on her heels as she brushed herself off. Might as well go back with Artemis and Foaly, she thought. I'll never catch up with them now.

From somewhere, there was a loud crack and the sound of leaves rustling.

Kim tipped forward, splaying her fingers on the ground to keep her balance. She remained still and listened hard.

More movement.

She slowly turned her head, and saw a person. Or what she assumed was a person. It (for its gender was impossible to tell) was wearing a very loose garment that came down to its bare feet, almost like a robe, along with a fitted mask. Both items were the exact colours found in the forest, and the little flesh showing had been painted the same. What was visible of its hair was short, rowan, and tangled.

It rotated its head towards Kim.

She jumped to her feet, holding her hands up and palm out as a gesture of piece.

It wasn't having any of it. It lunged at her, fingers apart and ready to grab her throat.