Happy Enough by SLynn

Disclaimer: Any character you recognize, not mine.

Chapter 3: Drawing Conclusions

"Mr. Sanders this is Nicole from the UMC Cancer Treatment Facility. I'm just calling to confirm your appointment for tomorrow morning at 8 am. As a reminder, you should not eat or drink anything twelve hours prior to your appointment. If you have any questions or need to reschedule, please contact me at 555-1098."

Greg listened to the message once more, jotting down the numbers just in case. He seriously considered picking up the phone and canceling. He didn't want to go. More importantly, he didn't want to know what the tests would find. Greg didn't think he could do it all again.

Checking the clock he was surprised to see it was past three in the afternoon. For a moment he panicked thinking he should be at the lab before he remembered his doctor ordered mini-vacation.

Greg took a quick shower and then stripped his bed linen. He wasn't sure what he'd do with it, maybe burn it, but finally settled on throwing the lot of it out. He'd spent the night on the couch unable to even bring himself back into the room until now.

Deciding he should eat now, since in a few hours he wouldn't be allowed, he quickly made himself dinner. Just as he sat down his cell phone went off.

Checking the screen he groaned.

"What Hodges?" he asked curtly. He wasn't in the mood for this.

"I haven't been in the lab since eight o'clock last night, how should I know?"

Greg rubbed his head in frustration. He knew Hodges was screwing with him, but couldn't help but take the bait and get angry.

"Well if there isn't any left go down to supply and get some more."

He was up and pacing now. He wasn't supposed to even be working in the lab anymore.

"No. No, I'm not coming in tonight," he said into his phone, despite the sinking feeling in his stomach telling him that he was.

"I didn't faint," he found himself practically yelling into the phone.

"Well, it's not my problem anymore. Figure it out yourself."

The bad thing about cell phones was that you couldn't really hang up on people with the same kind of conviction. Nothing was better then slamming a phone down when you were really, really angry. Greg settled on throwing his phone and then immediately regretting it as he saw it break into pieces against the wall.

'Well, at least I have something to do tonight,' he thought as he sat down to finish his dinner. He could go pick up a new one before heading to the lab.

Yeah, he was weak. He needed to get out of here and there was something else he wanted to do that he could only do at the lab.

Before leaving he put all of Mandy's things into a box which he then placed by the front door. He decided on calling her after he got his new phone and before he got to work. Greg was hoping that by the time he did all of these things most of the team would be out on assignment. Of course, he'd been wrong.

"What are you doing here?" Catherine asked as soon as she saw him. He'd expected it. If Hodges' knew about last night so did everyone else.

"I left some books in my locker. Thought I'd just stop in and get them. You know, easier to read that way."

"You should have called; one of us could have swung by with them."

"Nah," Greg said trying what he hoped was an unaffected smile, "You're all too busy. It's no big deal."

"Okay," she said with a scrutinizing look, "but get your books and go. You need to rest."

"Sure thing," he said with a smile as he hurried past her, turning left at the hallway towards his old lab instead of right towards the locker room.

It was easy to see that no one was there, glass walls and all. The new girl or Hodges or whoever was covering analysis tonight either just stepped out or hadn't made it in yet. Greg was glad. He knew he had to act fast, but he hadn't planned on what he'd do if the lab hadn't been empty. Probably would have just had to keep walking past it for half the night waiting for this chance.

Donning his typical coat, he quickly gathered the supplies he'd need. Out of habit he'd put on the gloves and then quickly realized that given what he was doing he wouldn't need them so he took them off again. Checking behind him, making sure no one was watching he poked his index finger for the drop of blood needed, put it onto the slide, placed the slide cover on and slid it under the microscope.

"Aren't you supposed to be off tonight?"

The voice made him jump almost off his seat.

Grissom, of course. The man was like a cat.

"Hey," was the only thing that came out of his mouth.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking over some samples from the other night. You know, stuff I didn't get too."

"You're not wearing gloves."

Greg looked quickly down and saw that he wasn't. He'd never put them back on.

"Oh, I must have…"

"You're also bleeding."

Greg didn't know what to say.

"Let me see what you've got," Grissom said suddenly walking over the microscope.

Greg got out of his seat, not sure if he should fess up now or just see where this was going.

"Anemic. High white-blood cell count."

"Yeah, well…"

Grissom stepped back and waited for Greg to continue.

"I, um…"

Grissom cut him off with a sharp nod.

"I'll be in my office if you need me. Don't stay too long."

Greg watched him go with a mixture of awe and terror. He wondered for the first time if Grissom knew. If he'd read his medical files like Dr. Abbott had. Shaking it off, he turned back to the microscope and confirmed what Grissom had just told him. Cleaning up after himself, carefully putting everything away, he made his way out of the lab and into the locker room.

It was sinking in now.

Greg sat down in front of his locker and put his head in his hands. He knew what it probably meant, what it certainly must mean. His white-blood cell count was high. He could ask Doc Robbins for a more detailed screening, but he'd be getting that tomorrow. And he didn't feel like explaining it.

"Hey Greggo," he heard Nick say from behind.

His voice stirred him into action. Greg stood and opened the locker before him.

"What's up?" Greg answered in the most casual voice he could manage.

"Not much, slow night."

"Yeah, I just needed these to study," Greg answered, holding up his books as emphasis, but not turning round. He didn't think he could face anyone at the moment.

"You alright?" Nick asked after a moment, completely sincere.

"Fine."

"Because honestly, you don't…"

"Yeah, I know. I don't look good. I look tired. I look…"

He was going to finish with sick, but couldn't do it.

"I should be home," Greg said after a moments pause.

"Greg," Nick said standing up as Greg had started to leave.

It stopped him in his tracks.

"You know we're all here if you need us. I am too."

Greg nodded silently as his shoulders shrunk then continued out the door. Nick followed him only to the break room, watching as he side stepped past Sara without a word.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked Nick, pointing back towards Greg as he rounded the last corner.

"I'm not sure, but he's definitely not himself."

Greg made it out to his car and sat behind the wheel unaware the tears had begun to slip down his face. One thought echoed over and over in his head.

'I can't go through this again.'