DISCLAIMER: I do not own Stephanie McMahon, Chris Jericho, or other wrestlers that appear in the following story. They are the property of the actors and actresses that portray them, as well as the WWE.
SPOILERS: Mention of events from 9-27-04 Raw.
Flowers Can't Keep Secrets
CHAPTER TEN
If love is a battlefield, then Chris and Stephanie were in the midst of World War IX.
"Asshole," Stephanie cursed under her breath as she furiously worked at the evening's schedule at her cafeteria table.
"Bitch," Chris grumbled as he stretched in his locker room.
It was a stand-off, to be sure. And neither side was willing to budge this time.
Shelton Benjamin, the sergeant peace keeper of the situation, was getting nowhere. "Steph, give the guy a break already! You guys have only been dating for three weeks!"
Stephanie huffed. "That is no excuse to completely forget my birthday, and you know it." She waved her pen at him as she got herself all worked up. "I wasn't expecting presents or balloons or even flowers dammit, but a phone call would have been nice! How hard is it to say 'Happy birthday Stephy you gorgeous thing, I am so lucky to have you in my life?'"
The young man winced; he unofficially sided with Chris on this issue, but his task at hand wouldn't allow for sympathy. "I'm not saying that what he did wasn't bad…"
"Downright horrible," Steph interjected, her pen ripping through sheets of paper as she scratched off another item on her to-do list.
"But then what do you say about what you did on Saturday?" Shelton finished, fixing her with a disapproving look.
A smirk played at the corner of her lips. "It was my birthday present to myself."
-
"She had me fucking arrested, Nads!"
Nidia, the deputy peace keeper of the situation, was careful to hide her smile behind her hand. "Did ya ever think ya deserved it? Forgetting a girl's birthday is a big no-no."
Chris leapt up from his position on his locker room floor. "Are you kidding me? She gets me thrown in jail for trespassing and you take her side?" Throwing his hands in the air, he wished for some divine inspiration about women. "And stop smiling, dammit! This is all your fault!"
His companion blinked. "Excuse me?"
"You purposely waited until after midnight on Friday to call me and ask what I got her for her birthday," Chris stated.
Nidia snorted. "You're pathetic, you know that? Can't even accept the blame for what you did."
"I flew down there the next day, didn't I? I tried to make it up to her, and bam! My ass is in the slammer!"
-
"Calling the cops and telling them that Chris is a prowler is one thing, but not bailing him out until Sunday is another." Shelton tapped his finger against his lower lip, a thought occurring to him. "What happened to the present he brought along?"
Stephanie wrinkled her nose in disgust. "That stupid stuffed pig? I threw it away."
Shelton's eyes widened. "You're kidding, right?" He groaned when she shook her head; no wonder Chris had blown a gasket. "I guess the diamond bracelet on the pig's leg didn't catch your eye."
She kept her demeanor cool. "Such a shame, but I'm sure he can get another one on the Home Shopping Channel."
-
"A Tiffany's diamond tennis bracelet, Nads. Cost me a bloody arm, leg, spleen, you name it." Chris shook his head sadly. "And now it's probably sitting in some landfill, or a hobo saw it and pawned it off to buy bourbon or something."
Nidia tsked. "It sucks Chris, but you had to see where she was coming from…"
"I don't care! I tried to make it up to her and I end up in jail. Then, she throws away the nicest thing I've ever bought any chick!" Collapsing next to Nidia on the bench, he gave her his best puppy-dog eyes. "Is it so wrong for her to apologize?"
-
"How could you even say that!" Stephanie screeched, standing from her seat (and causing a number of their noshing neighbors to wince). "I'd rather die than apologize to him first! HE FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!"
After a few calming words and assurances that she had every right to be mad about Chris's forgetfulness, Shelton decided that working with Stephanie was rather hopeless. At this point, she wanted nothing short of a groveling Jericho.
In the hallway, he met up with his deputy. He noticed her thin lips and annoyed expression, and surmised that she had done as well as he had. "Have any luck?" Shelton asked anyway.
Nidia snapped her gum and shook her head. With her brown curls flying about, Shelton indulged himself by mentally adding a porno soundtrack. "He's mighty pissed about the jail time. How 'bout you? Have any luck with Steph?"
The young man laughed. "She's all riled up about his missing her birthday. Doesn't feel guilty at all about what she did." He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Try to get her to come to Chris's locker room if you can, if only to argue. It won't take long for them to start making out."
"I'll do my best," Nidia sighed. "They are avoiding each other like the plague."
"That's true…" And unfortunately, there was only one thing Shelton could think of that would willingly bring the two of them together.
A key difference between Shelton's and Chris's plans is that Shelton's had a high success ratio. While tonight was no different, the former never assumed that he'd nearly get brained by Triple H's championship belt. Nevertheless, when Shelton managed to stumble backstage, he found everyone he was expecting.
"I hope that shot to the head knocked the stupid out of you," Stephanie admonished, handing him the ice-pack that sat on her clipboard. Honestly, she would never have become his friend if she knew he was going to be this accident-prone!
Standing as far away from her as possible (which wasn't far, considering the size of the hallway), Chris continued to scowl. "It's funny that you're calling Benj stupid, when you were married to that overgrown ape."
Stephanie's nostrils flared, a sure sign of an impending bitch-fest. Catching her reaction, Nidia stepped forward to make peace. "Guys, why don't we…"
"I'm stupid?! You dare to call me stupid?" Stephanie loudly interrupted. Seconds later, she was waving a finger in Jericho's face. "The only stupid thing I've done lately was get involved with you!"
"I would agree with you, except I was the stupid one that got involved with you, toots," Chris growled back. "And I'm giving you three seconds to get that finger out of my face or else."
"Or else what?" Stephanie flicked his nose in defiance.
Immensely pleased by the scene before him, Shelton grabbed Nidia's arm and started walking towards his locker room. He had his guesses about the threat; making out against the wall wasn't all that dangerous, if you asked him.
"What are you so smug about?" his companion asked, playfully punching his arm.
"Hey, I'm an injured man!" he exclaimed, but his growing smile betrayed him.
"Unbelievable," Nidia commented, her arm snaking around his as they walked. Her skin burned his, adding to his silent torture. "You provoked Triple H just to get those two back together?"
His smile faltered, but she took no notice. "Pretty brilliant, huh?" It had nothing to do with his other growing problem.
Absolutely nothing.
With Chris and Stephanie, it was never 'make love not war', but the more volatile 'make war, then make out'. And the war part was wearing thin on both of their nerves.
After the (un)acknowledged departure of their friends, the two warriors had engaged in an intense stare down, with Chris holding Stephanie's wrist to prevent any more flicks. Both saw, and ignored, the desire growing within the other, since neither was really ready to get off of their high horse.
"Let go of me," Stephanie growled.
"Apologize for flicking me," he replied.
She sniffed. "You apologize first for forgetting my birthday."
"Not until you apologize for throwing me in jail."
"Forgetting my birthday is worse!" she pouted.
His eyes flickered to her pursed lips, and his mind reminded him of their softness. He wanted this fight to be over, but wit him on top (figuratively, although he wouldn't mind the latter). And in typical Chris Jericho fashion, he was struck with a brilliant thought. "I'll apologize for your birthday…"
"About time," Stephanie mumbled.
"IF, if and only if, you can tell me when mine is."
Shit. To Stephanie's credit, she hid her panic well as she scoured her brain for an answer. "It's in November," she eventually responded, sticking out her tongue. After all, he didn't ask for an exact date, now did he? "Now apologize!"
It was Chris's turn to pout. "You have no idea what day my birthday is, and you want me to apologize! According to your standards, I should have you thrown in prison and throw away all expensive gifts from you."
Stephanie's eyes sparkled. "I never threw away anything expensive," she said, holding up her free hand. Her sleeve fell back to reveal a familiar diamond tennis bracelet. She smirked at his astounded expression.
"You…. you… you bitch!" the blond man stammered, while his wallet breathed a sigh of relief. "You found the bracelet AND still made me sit in jail all night?"
"Best of both worlds, if you ask me." She pressed her lips to his in a brief, searing kiss before pulling back with a giggle. "I do hope no one made you their bitch while you were in the slammer."
Peeved that she teased him with that itty bitty kiss, Chris let go of her arm, only to haul her up against him. "Me? Someone else's bitch? You've got it all wrong babe; the boys in there were scared of my impressive physique."
She yanked at a strand of his hair, perhaps a little too roughly. "I thought Luke Skywalker was big on the prison scene. You know, with all that 'using the force' and stuff."
His eyes narrowed at the dig, but another kiss from her silenced any retort he could think of. And, as Shelton had anticipated, the making out against the wall commenced, much to the chagrin of onlookers.
Later that evening, and en route to his rental car, Shelton caught sight of another man and frowned. Pausing, he set down his bag and crossed his arms. "What do you want?" he demanded loudly.
Randy raised up his hands defensively. "Chill bro, it's just me."
"I'm not your bro," the other man spat back. He would never willingly be this man's bro, homie, dawg, or any other buddy buddy term.
The former champion shrugged, then hopped off of the car trunk he sat upon. "Look, I know what's going on with you and Hunter."
Shelton merely raised an eyebrow at him; to be honest, he wasn't all that surprised. His trouble with the Game had begun long before Randy had grown the balls to leave Evolution. "So what? That's my business."
"That's my business," Randy mimicked. "No it's not! Not when it involves our friends…"
"I can handle this," Shelton hissed, his temper beginning to rise. He'd been handling this by himself for weeks now; pussy boy's interference would only lead to more trouble. And more trouble could be the proverbial straw that broke Shelton's back. "I suggest you stay out of it before you make it worse."
Randy threw up his hands in exasperation. "Oh sure, you've been handling it great! Tell me, what was Hunter going to do to her if you got a clean win on him, huh?"
Icy fingers gripped at his heart in recollection. Taking a deep breath, Shelton bent to retrieve his things, before pinning Randy down with a stare. "Things have changed since you left the boys' club, Randy; if I were you, I'd worry more about my own neck."
"Whatever. Don't say I didn't try to help or nothing," the other man replied nonchalantly before heading back to the arena. After all, he DID have to worry about his own neck tonight in his match against Batista.
Shelton watched him go, but made no move to continue towards his car. His blood boiled at how Randy had dismissed his comment about things changing, for Triple H had a new target these days. A target that Shelton was forced to protect because of Nidia.
Unfortunately, the protection would come at quite the high cost.
END CHAPTER TEN
Author's notes: Arrrgh, I've spent six days rewriting this chapter and it's still not right. Oh well, it's Sunday and I'm forced to give up and post what I got; sorry if the beginning is a bit choppy, but in my mind it was one of those split screen scenarios, and that's rather hard to translate in words :) Review, and let me know what you think! Until next week, take care :)