Happy Enough by SLynn

Disclaimer: Any character you recognize, not mine.

Chapter 6: Not Yet

Greg had little choice in the matter. He had needed a ride. The hospital wasn't going to let him leave without an escort so he'd had to call; it was either that or stay for the night which really wasn't an option. If the fact that he'd asked to be picked up from the UMC Cancer Treatment Facility surprised him, Nick didn't let it show.

The nurse who checked Greg out of the facility was careful to inform him of the side effects and also to instruct that he shouldn't be left alone for the next twelve to eighteen hours.

The drive back was awkward and silent. Neither one spoke. Greg couldn't even look at him and he was pretty sure what Nick was thinking.

"You missed the turn," Greg pointed out as Nick continued down the interstate.

"I'm not taking you to your apartment."

"I'll be fine. It's really not that serious."

For a split second Nick looked at him like he couldn't believe what he'd heard. Greg could hardly believe it himself. The thought of this had been tearing him up inside all week and now that it was happening it didn't seem real.

"I'm taking you to Catherine's place. She's off tonight. I'll stop by after shift and drive you home."

"Shouldn't I get a say in this?"

"You can say anything you like but I'm still taking you to Catherine's."

"Nick please, I just want to be in my own place tonight. I don't want to be answering a thousand questions about what's wrong or what's happened, I just want to be alone."

For a few minutes Nick didn't speak, but finally he relented and turned his Jeep back round towards Greg's place.

"Thanks."

"Sooner or later you're going to have to get this out. We're not trying to bother you or pry Greg. We're all worried."

"I know."

Nick sensed he'd pushed far enough, for now.

They stopped at his place and Nick, despite Greg's protests, helped him up to his apartment. The first thing they both noticed was a letter taped to the door. Greg pulled it down with one hand and unlocked the door with the other. Tossing his keys on the table, he tore into the letter reading a few lines before mumbling an obscenity.

Nick just looked at him curiously.

"I'm being evicted. Thirty days," Greg said as he threw the letter down on the table as well.

"Why'd they do that?"

"Because of the other night. Okay, probably not just because of the other night, I've had one or two louder then allowed parties, but not for months. I can't believe this."

"What happened the other night?" Nick asked, "Is this the eye story?"

"Aw man," Greg said as he sat down on the couch, wincing a bit as he did so. "Mandy. I didn't tell you, did I? We broke up."

"So what, did she hit you?"

"No, she did not. Some guy she's screwing did."

Nick shook his head and sat down as well. Greg sounded like himself for the first time all week. Despite the subject matter, his voice wasn't bitter, he almost sounded amused.

"Okay, you just broke up and she's already got another guy?"

"The other guy is why we broke up."

Nick couldn't help but laugh.

"Sure, laugh at my pain."

"Sorry, really I am."

"Don't be. I'm not."

"I told you she was trouble."

"No you didn't. You said she had a nice laugh."

"That was code."

"I'll keep that in mind next time."

"Anyway," Nick said standing to go. "I'm going to be late if I don't leave now."

Greg stood as well, sorry to see him go. It had been nice laughing, even if it was at his own expense. Nice not to think about all the things that had been in his head.

"I'll tell Grissom not to expect you tonight."

"Yeah, thanks for that, and for giving me a ride today."

"Anytime. Just call me if you need anything."

Greg nodded and shut the door behind Nick as he left suddenly feeling very much alone.

The next night Greg felt well enough for work. They had done a bone marrow tap and lumbar puncture the previous day at the treatment facility, but he wasn't on medication yet. Chemotherapy would only be started after the results of those two tests. He'd know for sure on Monday. He knew that the next two nights were going to be torture.

The worse part was going to be telling everyone. Not that he had planned on it yet, but he at least owed answers to Nick and Grissom. He half hoped Nick had guessed enough and told everyone for him, but no such luck. Walking into the break room he knew he hadn't just by the looks he received. Sure, they looked concerned, but they weren't mourning him. Not yet.

Grissom came in and gave his usual pre-shift speech. He said nothing about Greg's absence yesterday and didn't single him out like the last time. Greg felt as if he was almost ignoring him until the assignments were read and he learned that they'd be riding together to a crime scene. He had wanted to tell Nick first, maybe even ask him what he'd said to Grissom beforehand, but now it looked like he wouldn't get the chance. He was determined to do this now that he had the chance.

The car ride back from the hospital with Nick yesterday had been a joy ride comparatively. Greg had a very easy relationship with everyone else on the team. He could talk to them about anything, laugh and joke, but not Grissom. Maybe it was because he was the boss or because he seemed so serious all the time. Greg wasn't sure. All he knew was that around him he didn't feel like being himself was good enough.

"How's your master's degree coming?"

"Fine," Greg answered a bit startled. He'd never told Grissom he'd been working on it. "I'm about half way through with the program. About six classes left."

"Good. How many are you taking this semester?"

"Two. But I'll probably only do one next."

"That's a lot of work."

"Yeah."

More silence.

"So, where are we going?" Greg asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from himself.

"Here," Grissom said pulling into a parking lot of an old fashion looking diner.

"Okay, but aren't most crime scene's cordoned off? I mean, the place is still open."

"I thought we'd get something to eat."

Greg bit his lower lip as he got out of the SUV.

"Did Nick say anything to you?" he asked as the entered the place.

"No," Grissom answered in such a way that it was impossible to tell if he was lying or not.

They were quickly sat down near the back by the window. They each ordered, even though Greg suddenly had no appetite, and made small talk until the food came. He knew that this was the perfect opportunity to say what he'd intended on saying; he just wasn't sure how to begin.

He wanted to say it. All the way through the meal and all the way back to the office, he had really wanted to say it.

Greg hadn't practiced it all but he thought it would come out something like, 'When I was four I got leukemia. I spent seven years in and out of hospitals hoping to be cured. When I was, I knew I wanted to help people. That I loved the science of it, but I couldn't bring myself to become a doctor because I just associated it with pain. So I do this. And now it's back and I can't do this anymore.'

In his mind he could hear Grissom telling him that he could still do this and that there would always be a place for him. That he'd be fine and that the doctor's weren't even certain yet. The typical stuff. All the stuff he didn't believe.

But he hadn't said it. Not yet.

Grissom asked one last time as they pulled back into the parking garage if there was anything he needed to tell him.

"Actually yes," he found himself saying. "I…"

Grissom looked at him expectantly, hopeful even.

And he lost his nerve.

"I've been evicted."