DISCLAIMER: I do not own Maven, Chris Jericho, or other wrestlers that appear in the following story. They are the property of the actors and actresses that portray them, as well as the WWE.
SPOILERS: Mention of events from 11-15-04 Raw, as well as 2004 Survivor Series.
Flowers Can't Keep Secrets
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Well, one could tell by the way he used his walk that he was the new GM, no time to talk.
Maven hummed to himself as he strolled through the hallways of the arena; no, HIS arena. Last night he had put his neck on the line for his team, and was rewarded for his efforts by running Raw the very next day.
(Actually, Maven's head injuries were skewing the truth. While his teammates were proud of the fact that he was able to participate in the match, they did not reward him with the first GM job. Rather, fearing that Maven would cause irrevocable damage at his first taste of power, they decided to let him go first in order to fix any issues that the young man would cause. And they knew that by letting him go the next night, there was no way Al Snow could fly out to assist; and for that, they were all thankful).
Screwed-up facts or not, though, Maven was ready to make an impact. He had decided on his way to the arena that he would devote the night to totally awesome matches, like a lingerie pillow fight between Stacy and Christy. A tag match that reunited Edge and Christian (because when together, they did indeed reek of awesomeness). And a heavyweight title match between himself and Triple H.
Maybe that last one was only awesome to him… but he didn't care. Al did whatever his heart desired, and tonight he would do the same.
Glancing at his W.W.A.D. bracelet, Maven grinned before continuing down the hallway. He could feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin' already.
After being dropped off by his limo (a treat from his doting girlfriend), Chris Jericho skipped (in a manly sort of way, of course) through the backstage hallways of the arena. His lightened step was partially due to his team's victory last night at Survivor Series, but mostly had to do with something else.
He was getting laid, and his friends weren't.
Sure, the only contact he had with Shelton was via Shelton's voicemail (which, by the way, the guy really needed to change; he sounded like a total doof). Nidia had moved back in with her parents until she found another job. And Randy was probably having wild sex with the entire backstage female population (he trained the kid well), but this was different.
He wasn't just having wild sex; he was having meaningful, precious, emotional sex with a rather kinky Stephanie McMahon, and it was awesome.
Slightly aroused by just the thought of her, Chris quickened his pace to his distant locker room. He hoped to find his girlfriend waiting inside. Alone. Preferably naked.
In front of the door, he skidded to a halt, his hand reaching out towards the knob.
A female moan coming from inside froze his forward movement. He knew that voice…
"Ohhhh…. you're amazing," Stephanie cooed in his dressing room.
In that moment, Chris's upbeat mood evaporated quickly into anger. How dare that bitch two time him in his own dressing room! He should go in there and kick the crap out of the dude! He should go in there and ring her neck!
"Oooooh yeah, right there."
He pressed his ear closer to the door, both sickened and turned on by Steph's moans. Random perverted scenarios raced through his mind, ranging from oral pleasure from the Nature Boy (stomach-turning) to an erotic tryst with Trish (stomach turning, and yet incredibly hot).
"Randy…"
Chris gasped; did she just call out his friend's name?
"Dammit, I hate you Randy…" Steph purred, her tone implying the exact opposite of her words.
The anger came back with a vengeance. If Randy wanted to be the backstage gigolo, that was fine; Stephanie, however, was HIS customer! With a shout, he flung open the door and rushed into the room, immediately tacking the kneeling Randy Orton.
"You bastard!" Chris yelled as he threw a punch. He then caught sight of a fully clothed, shocked looking Stephanie sitting beside them on a chair.
If they were going at it, then how come her clothes were still on?
Oh well; he'd figure it out later after he killed the rookie.
His life was going nowhere, somebody help him.
Somebody help him, yeah.
After ten minutes of being unable to find his luxurious office, Maven was starting to get peeved. He had asked countless technicians for directions, only to be sent to the door to the parking garage again and again.
If he didn't' know better, he would say that they were playing with him on purpose. But since he was generally oblivious about deceitful behavior, he brushed it off as human error. Al always said that most people couldn't find their way out of a paper bag.
As he walked (unknowingly) towards the arena exit yet again, he caught sight of the beautiful Susie hanging out in the hallway up ahead. Boy, but she did sure did love to hang out in plain sight, making it extremely easy for interesting scenes to happen!
Remembering his last embarrassing confrontation, Maven nearly turned around. However, his feet were bringing him closer to her, as if he was a mosquito flying towards the bug zapper.
Thinking her boyfriend had come to retrieve her, Susie turned to her right with a smile; however, it turned out only to be that odd metrosexual boy from a few weeks ago. The one who thought he was Randy Orton. "Oh, hi Maven," she greeted, her smile fading.
Maven's jaw dropped open; she knew his actual name! It had to be destiny. "Hi Susie!" he squeaked. "How are you?"
Her face took on a troubled look. "I'm alright," she said unconvincingly.
"Susie…" Maven trailed off, tipping her chin up to look in her blue-hazel eyes. "What's wrong?"
The way her lip trembled would make Susan Lucci proud. "Well, a few days' ago I went home to see my Mama, because she said she had something important to tell me. Something about my absent father. But, when she started talking she had a massive heart attack and had to go to the hospital." An absent tear ran down her cheek as she looked away. "I felt terrible leaving her, but Edgie said that the doctors could take care of her, but who would take care of him at night?"
"Aww, Susie," Maven cooed, going to pull her into a hug.
Their tender moment was interrupted by none other than her boyfriend. "What do you think you're doing?!" Edge shouted as he strode between them and tore Susie away. "First you ruin my chances at running Raw and getting what's rightfully mine, and now you're taking what's rightfully mine!"
Susie could have taken the initiative to explain the situation, but she kinda liked the idea of her possessive boyfriend beating the crap out of the weirdo. So instead, she silently wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head on his (thankfully dry) chest.
Pasting on a confident façade, Maven straightened his spine and growled at Edge. "I think you're forgetting who's in charge tonight, Edge."
Edge shook his head in amusement, causing his stringy blond locks to fly about his face. "Is that supposed to be intimidating? Am I supposed to be afraid?" he said with a chuckle. "What are you going to do Maven; put me in a match against you?"
Maven crossed his arms defiantly. "Nah, I'm fighting Triple H for the title. You'll be teaming with Christian."
Anger exploded across the tall Canadian's face. "You put me in a match with my little brother?" he all but screamed at Maven. "I don't want to tag with that little dork!"
"And I don't want to tag with this big doofus!" Christian chimed in as he strolled up to the trio. "How can I be Captain Charisma if I've got the Duke of Douchebags here as my partner?"
Edge sneered, pushing Susie towards Maven as he got into Christian's face. "If I'm the Duke of Douchebags, then you're the Baron of Bedwetters."
Christian's face turned bright red. "Mom said you couldn't talk about that anymore!" he whined as he pushed his brother into the wall.
"Then why don't you tattle, Tattletale!" Edge retorted, pushing him back. And with that parry, the two began to fight as if it was 1985 all over again.
Maven briefly watched the scuffle before turning to the girl beside him. "You wouldn't happen to know where the GM office is?" he asked.
Susie squinched up her face in thought, before pointing in the direction of the parking garage. "Thata way."
Like Susie, Stephanie was also watching her boyfriend physically attacking another man. However, she found it rather amusing, and did not take any measure to stop it.
The brawling probably would have continued well into the show if Shelton hadn't walked by and heard the commotion from within. At first, he feared that it would be freaking sexual action between Stephanie and Chris (because yes, even though he hadn't talked to Chris in weeks, Chris still felt the need to leave him a message about the joyous event), but was relieved to see Chris choking Randy out on the floor. Setting his belt on a nearby table, he walked over and stood above the two men, clearing his throat.
Chris looked over his shoulder, only to scowl at his usually absent friend. "What the hell do you want Benji? I'm busy!"
"Busy… putting… me to sleep…" Randy gasped underneath him with a mock yawn.
Shelton sighed; gone for weeks and it was still a madhouse in the Jericho locker room. Glaring at the giggling Stephanie, he reached down and grabbed Chris by the ear, hauling him to his feet. "I think that's enough, Jericho, considering he won the match for you last night."
"OW! Let go of me!" Chris shrieked as he struggled to get free. "And he couldn't have won without us!"
"I'm with Shel on this one," Randy said as he stuck his tongue out at the blond man.
With a final tweak Shelton let the blond man go. "Mind telling me why you were pounding the crap out of him?"
Chris blinked, suddenly remembering his motives. "Son of a bitch," he growled before pouncing on Randy once again. Stephanie burst out into another set of giggles, and Shelton frowned at the scuffle at his feet.
A madhouse didn't even begin to explain this.
Shelton decided to try a different tactic this time around. "Steph, what is going on?" he asked as he turned to the seated woman.
Stephanie looked at the rookie and shrugged. "Beats me, rookie. One minute Randy here was rubbing my feet; the next, Chrissykins was beating the pulp out of him."
That caught Chris's attention. "Rubbing your feet?" he repeated as he tried to wiggle out of a body scissors.
Steph nodded, lifting her sock-less left foot in the air and wiggling her toes at the tussling men.
"I was sick of her yelling at me," Randy grunted as he squeezed his legs harder. "And you said that it was the best way to get back on her good side."
"You're not there yet," Steph mumbled. The foot massage hadn't been good enough to make her forget about what a jerk he was.
"Oh." Chris's anger dissipated somewhat, although he was still a bit irritated that his friend was feeling up his girlfriend's foot. He ceased struggling, and tapped on Randy's thigh. "Will you let me go kid, before I ralph on your legs?"
Seeing that the other man wasn't going to attack him again, Randy obliged. "What, so you're not going to apologize?"
"Don't push it."
Shelton groaned; reminding everyone in the room that he was, in fact, still there. "If you are done being retarded, I'll be leaving now."
"Whatever," Chris sniped, angry about all his unreturned phone calls. "See you next month, Benji."
Seeing that her entertainment for the evening was over, Steph also decided to put in her two cents. "Shelton, I know why you've been avoiding us," she stated matter-of-factly.
The young man audibly gulped, then gave Randy the evil eye. "Is that right?" he replied shakily. If Orton blew the whistle on him, he was going to blow his whistle (in a totally heterosexual way, of course).
She nodded, a smirk playing across her features. "It's obvious; you are jealous of Chris and me."
"Excuse me?" Shelton asked.
"Come again?" Chris questioned.
Randy just snorted from his position on the floor. And that woman had the nerve to call HIM conceited.
"It's a typical male reaction," Steph explained. "Shelton was pining away for Nidia just around the same time you were pining away for me, Chrissy…"
"Hey now, I wasn't exactly…" Chris's objection was cut off by a glare from his girlfriend. A glare that would make a certain bedtime activity quite unlikely. "Oh, yeah. Pining. Couldn't eat a thing."
"Whipped," Randy coughed into his hand, causing his blond friend to snarl.
"Like I was saying," Steph continued, "You both had crushes. Chris and I ended up together and happy, while you and Nidia, well… ended. So naturally, every time you see us together you are reminded of your failure," she finished with a confident smile.
The men exchanged looks, deciding on how to handle this. With Chris dating said female in question, however, and Randy trying to get on better terms with her, the answer became obvious: patronize, patronize, patronize. "Ooooh, I get it," Randy said simply.
"Wow babe, I'm impressed," Chris declared.
Shelton's eye twitched momentarily as he suppressed his anger. It was bad enough that he had screwed things up with Nidia; it was worse when his friends agreed with him and called the whole ordeal 'a failure'.
As it had been proven before (see: punching a brick wall bloody), failure wasn't something that Shelton dealt with well. He wanted to go off on the smug looking female that sat before him, but kept his sharp tongue at bay. He already caused her enough trouble; never mind that she didn't know a thing about it. So with a sigh and a mental shake, he forced himself to nod. "I guess. I'm sorry I was acting like such a jerk," he bit out.
Randy gave him a look but kept his comments to himself. It wasn't his place to reveal Shelton's secrets… at least, not until Stephanie's well-being was threatened (which, thankfully, hadn't happened yet).
"Apology accepted!" Chris said as he leapt to his feet and clapped his once-again best friend on the back. "I've missed ya Benji; out of all the rookies here, you're the coolest."
"Hey!" Randy objected, getting the distinct feeling that he'd been grouped with Maven. And dammit, he was cooler than MAVEN!
"Gee, thanks," Shelton said, a bit uncomfortable at the praise. It would take some getting used to, being close with Chris and Steph again; and yet, he secretly liked the idea of having his friends back.
"Steph, could you put your sock back on?" Randy asked suddenly.
"Why? Do my feet smell or something?" Steph huffed loudly. "Chrissy, tell him my feet don't smell!"
Chris sighed before putting on a 'boyfriend' glare for Randy. "Her feet don't smell, Randalf," he stated in a monotone.
"I didn't say her feet smelled. It's just that her bare feet are kinda turning me on," Randy admitted sheepishly. Rubbing a woman's feet was one thing; it was quite another when the woman was pretty, got regular pedicures, and moaned openly during the act.
"Tell me you did not just say that!" Chris said as he whirled around and glared at the rookie on the floor.
"I didn't…"
Randy didn't get to finish, as Chris decided to punch him in the gut some more as punishment. Luckily, the kid only had a match with the Coach on his agenda tonight; his thrice beatings by Jericho would not cause too much of a hindrance.
Steph looked at Shelton with a grin, gesturing to the chair beside her. "Have a seat, rookie," she offered.
Have a guilt trip was more like it, Shelton thought to himself.
END CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Author's notes: Uh, I'm really sorry guys - I'm pretty oblivious to the update schedule for this site. This chapter was ready by Sunday afternoon.... I swear :P Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter; I am happy with it. I really liked how my Christian-Edge scene worked out… as some of you know, I am terrified of writing Christian (he's so complicated!), and have avoided putting him into the story until now. Oh, and if you didn't get the whole 'Stayin' Alive' theme, my apologies; as soon as I saw Maven walking down the hallways, with that shirt half unbuttoned and that cocky smirk, all I could think of was John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. Blame my lame sense of humor :)
Please review, give me your opinions; and who knows? Maybe next time, Shelton will finally spill the rest of those remaining beans (hey, with Chris not being the GM for a whole another week, there is that possibility). Until then, take care my friends :)