Chapter 20

Falling

A/N: This is the final chapter of Falling. I dedicate it to my best friend, who loyally read this fic and bugged me to complete it before I left. I'll miss you, but I know you'll be amazing at university. Eat lots of Raisin Van and Yuuhiberry, but most importantly have fun. :)

"It's soooo hot...." whined Merle, rubbing at her arms in feeble attempt to remove the fur. "Mum couldn't have fallen for a human, could she have. Oh no. She had to fall for another cat and give me this to deal with!"

Her tail bristled and she fell back on it, almost as though to quell its rage. Bristling resulted in more heat. More heat that the catgirl didn't need on such a wicked day. She lay in the forest, hoping that the shade would give her relief. But it wasn't the sun's rays she needed defense from; it was the humidity.

She brought a hand to her forehead, staring up at the sparkles of light between the leaves, and heaved a sigh. Suddenly her blue eyes met two brown ones and she gave a reflexive cry. Her intruder gave his own cry and leapt backwards. Merle scampered into a stand and clutched at her yellow dress.

"Don't scare me like that!" she scolded. "I'm hot enough already, I don't need to be any more stressed out."

The catboy grinned, amused, and Merle's heart gave an extra thump. He was wearing less clothes than usual, only a sleeveless grey-green top and a pair of baggy pants that had been rolled to the knees. He rose slowly, teasingly, putting his hands on his hips in a casually sexy manner.

"Come on," Kayulo said, extending his hand out to her. "I know a way to cool off."

She hesitantly reached for the hand, worried that the contact would overheat her. But as their palms met she found that it was a warmth she didn't mind. With a newfound grin on her face, she trailed after him as he led her deeper into the forest.

Hitomi wandered through the streets, eyes downcast. She was in an outfit made for her in appreciation for her help. It was nice, comfortable, loose. She treasured it, tangible proof of her efforts, of her existence in a world that wasn't her own.

Today was a relaxed day, hardly anyone was out. There had been no official announcement, but the people somehow knew that today work seemed questionable. Fanelia had come a long way since its destruction, even since Hitomi had left. The construction would soon be finalized, and soon Van would be pushed onto more kingly duties. More political affairs, less hands-on labour. She let herself wonder how he would be in that sort of affair. In all their time together, she had never actually been with him as he settled a political argument. He had always been the rash type, to dive into something, to do something reckless in his country's name. But that had been the Van that warranted her slap. A lot could change about a person in several months.

"Van," the name escaped her lips and she winced. She didn't want to think of him, but at the same time she had been looking for him for the larger part of the day. It was late afternoon and still fairly sticky, but Hitomi hadn't really noticed. Her mind had been on her pending departure.

Even before "it" had begun, they both knew that her leaving would be inevitable. She was only 15, soon to be 16, far too young to throw her world away, forget her family and friends on earth for the sake of something that was still so unstable. "It" had not changed that. Despite the unbridled kiss that night in the barn, there was so much left to be questioned. They had had moments since then, but they had been few and far between. And it wasn't Hitomi holding back, nervousness eating at her, but Van, for a reason he hadn't divulged. But Hitomi could guess.

He didn't love her.

Maybe he had. Maybe he had, at one point. Maybe long before he knew she loved him, before he knew that she would be his in an instant. Maybe it hadn't been her he had loved... but the chase of her, the competition.

Hitomi had been mulling this for some time. She had told him four-or was it five?- times now how she felt, that she loved him. Never once had he returned the phrase. Sometimes his response was to kiss her, sometimes his response was to smile at her and hold her closer, sometimes his response was pretending not to have heard.

It was discouraging.

It was the reason that she had finally decided to leave. She missed her home, her family, her friends, even school. She adored Van but his questionable stance on "it"-their relationship, wasn't a good enough reason for her to stay.

Hitomi entered the forest, unaware that she had even arrived at it. She stopped by the cemetery and touched the shin of the Escaflowne, now enveloped in vines. It was cool to the touch and she withdrew her hand.

In the distance she heard giggles and the noise of splashing water and she decided to follow her ears. It was the first time she had realized how hot it was and suddenly she craved a lake, a river, a POOL.

She followed a subtle path deeper into the forest and paused when she saw the reflection of light against a small pond. In the center, shrieking with laughter, was Merle. She was looking around her in playful anticipation and suddenly from the water arose a great furry beast. Merle cried out before being plunged into the water by her attacker. Hitomi made a motion to reveal herself but paused when she saw that the threat was none other than Kayulo. She shrunk back to the trees a little and watched the pair interact.

"Well.. Isn't this... better?" Kayulo managed between pants. He threw his long hair back and shook out the water.

"Hmmm... I don't knowww..." Merle returned teasingly.

"Why you-!" he grabbed her and pulled her to him suddenly in a fun-filled gesture but suddenly his grasp became far from comedic. He held her closely, the water around them settling.

"Kay..." began Merle softly, her eyes widening and her cheeks reddening. She made a steady move towards him and rose on her toes. The catboy froze for a moment but then tilted his head down to her, eyes closed. Hitomi's hand flew to her mouth, feeling intrusive but unable to tear her eyes away. Her heart paused. The couple in the water drew closer together, and Merle allowed her lips to brush his for half a second before opening her eyes and dunking him in the water.

Kayulo scrambled to his feet, dumbfounded, and Merle let out a flirtatious giggle, her cheeks scarlet.

"That'll teach you to act so smug!" she accused proudly.

Kayulo glared at her before erupting into a grin and chasing after her once again.

A few minutes later they were drifting in the water, exhausted and sated. It was during this time that he remembered. He looked up in the direction that Hitomi had been hiding, but she was long gone. He turned his gaze back to the darkening sky, satisfied.

Hitomi strode through the streets, finding herself distraught at the scene she had stumbled upon. Watching Merle and Kayulo, together... in that particular "situation" brought back the fond memories of what had transpired between her and Van.

"Ahoy! Miss Hitom-" greeted a woman from her doorstep, but this only caused Hitomi to quicken her pace. She wanted to be alone right now.

Her stride eventually rose to a sprint and soon she found herself dashing to the field right outside the city. She faltered in the tall grass, panting heavily. She wiped the sweat from her brow before falling into a sit. Soon her heaves turned to pains and she folded her head in her arms.

"Van..." she murmured weakly. She thought of how they met, their interaction throughout the Destiny War and after it... how his affections had become more noticeable. How they had been there all along. How what she felt for him now was what had been there all along without her even aware.

She remembered the incidents in the barn in Asturia, from his selfish words to the first time he kissed her-gently, but inexperienced. But then, so was she. The feeling of his lips on hers had provoked something within her, a knot unravelling in her stomach, amplifying her heart: she loved him.

But what did he feel for her? It was something she couldn't answer, but had never been able to ask him. She had tried on a few occasions to coerce it out of him with the words he would never speak. Once he had kissed her after her confession. Once he had smiled at her. More than once, he had feigned deaf.

Hitomi was tired of it- she was homesick. It had been several months since she had seen her family and the ache had long since begun. Van hadn't revealed the depth of his feelings for her, and most likely never would. At fifteen going on sixteen, Hitomi didn't want to spend the rest of her time vying for fading hope.

She reached down her shirt and pulled out her pendant, scrutinizing it in the palm of her hand.

"I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't do this," she told the pink gem.

She squeezed her eyes tightly shut to prevent the tears from falling. "I'm so sorry Van..." she murmured shakily, "because I do love you."

"If you love me, stay."

Hitomi froze and dropped the pendant. She turned around slightly so that he came into focus. "Van..."

He looked miserable, but it was a stale misery that was slowly being swallowed by anger, distrust. He had been betrayed, and it showed in every fibre of his body. His long black locks covered his eyes as he looked away from her in pain.

"Kayulo..." Hitomi deduced softly, looking up at Van. "Van, I..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to leave?"

"I didn't want to hurt you." she replied feebly. It sounded so cliche and empty.

"This hurts me, Hitomi!" Van hissed. He looked at her now, amber eyes flickering in anguish. "Did you think that if you left, I wouldn't notice? That I would just shrug it off like it was nothing?"

"I... don't know." she answered, but part of her began to say yes.

"Then tell me. Why do you want to leave?" he asked sourly. "You once said that you loved Fanelia, Gaia. That you loved being here. That you loved me."

"But that's not how I can live forever!" Hitomi burst suddenly. "My friends, my family, my life is back on Earth. It's my home, and I want to go back." she gave a curt laugh. "I even miss school."

Van frowned. "So visit them and come back,"

"It's not that simple!" she shouted. "How could you possibly understand? I haven't seen my family in almost seven months! It's unbearable." she shook her head and lowered her voice. "I'm fifteen years old, Van. My whole life is ahead of me... how can you expect me to give up everything for false hopes?"

"False hopes? About what?"

"What am I to you, Van?" she asked quietly, her emerald eyes burning into his and unsettling him. "A girlfriend? A vessel for an heir? A Fanelian worker? The girl who helped save Gaia? An aid to your reputation? An annoyance? An alien?"

"You know what you mean to me."

She stood slowly. "Do I?" she raised her head and stared at him expectantly. "Do you?"

She walked past him without looking back, leaving Van to stand alone in the field.

Night fell swiftly, the darkness an omen for the morning to follow. Hitomi lay on her bed, now dressed in her uniform. Her eyes were on the ceiling, peering past the cement into oblivion. Her bag lay packed beside her, waiting to return back to Earth along with her.

"I'm so stupid," the girl sighed to herself.

Merle trotted down the corridors, reminiscing on the day's events. She wondered where her bold actions had come from but the bashful memories soon faded as she reached her Lord Van's chambers. Without hesitation she pushed the doors open. She was family, after all, there was no need to knock.

"Lord Van?" she called to the darkness. "The cook said he hadn't seen you so I thought I'd-" she stopped herself. The room was empty. She called out to him once more before creeping in to investigate further. She found herself on his balcony, overlooking the beautiful, blossoming Fanelia and took it in.

"We've come so far, Lord Van," she said. Satisfied after a few moments' ogling, she scampered out.

Hitomi hoisted herself up from her bed and wandered out to her balcony. She could see part of Fanelia, glowing in the evening, but mostly it was the lush trees that had started to grow once more. She smiled at what Van had accomplished, what she and Merle and everyone else had helped him accomplish. She leaned on the railing, taking a deep whiff of the fresh, pure air of the country. She remembered hearing once that smell was the sense that could retain the most. She hoped it was true. As she looked out she thought of Van again, suddenly feeling very remorseful for what she had said, and what she was planning to do. But she needed to go back.

It was getting late, quite late. Van was still sitting in the fields, having mulled over his plight for a few hours now. Hitomi's words had stung him, but what had wounded him most was the realization that there was a certain truth behind them- a truth he had been withholding from himself. It had dawned on him in the twilight, but it had taken him until this time to figure out what to do. Then, in a snap, he knew. He bolted upright, rapidly turning his head in the direction of the castle. He began speeding towards it, tearing off his red shirt in the midst. His glorious wings unfurled and he took off, high above the country so as not to be seen by the citizens.

Hitomi was deep in her thoughts, her memories, her regrets, too below the surface to hear the noise behind her. It was only when she saw the feather that she knew. Two lithe yet strong arms encircled her from behind, gently pulling her to a warm body.

The blush spread quickly about her cheeks but she couldn't shake it off. Stop making this so hard. She closed her eyes tightly. "Van," she began, but was interrupted when she felt his soft lips on her neck. The air around her smelled of the fields, and the moonlit feathers that swarmed around her left her in a trance. Still, she held fast to her resolve. "Van," she repeated, "I'm sorry but I have to go... nothing you do or say can change that."

There was a pause and she felt his lips leave her to travel to her ear. Then he whispered the words he was never supposed to say.

"I love you."

She stiffened in his arms but that only made him momentarily release her so that he could spin her around to face him. His eyes were solemn, honest, passionate. She looked up at him, her eyes dodging between his, desperate for some hint of lie. But there wasn't any.

"What you said today..." he began, "I never knew but... I couldn't answer it fully. But now..." he took a strand of her hair and curved it around her face, a sweet smile itching at the corners of his lips. "I realize how deeply I'm in love with you."

"Van..." Hitomi choked, and tears stung her eyes. The pair didn't hesitate, fully aware of what the other was thinking. In one swift motion Hitomi tied her hands behind his neck and his clutching her tightly to him. Their lips met fervently, desperately moving together in unrestrained passion. Hitomi cried, bringing him closer to her through her tears. Van retracted his wings and soon was leading them back to Hitomi's room, never breaking the kiss. As he fumbled for the balcony door to shut it behind them, he murmured to her in the darkness.

"Stay,"

Hitomi Kanzaki silently removed her sneakers and set them neatly to the side. She slid across the wooden floors in her stockings, careful not to make too much noise. She didn't want to wake the sleeper on the other side of the room.

The sunlight streamed into the room through the windows, blinding her slightly, but she pressed forward. At last she stood across from the woman in the chair and waited. The woman looked older than she was, worn down by countless nights of sleepless worry. But now, she dozed.

Hitomi moved over a creaky floorboard by accident and the woman stirred, disoriented as she looked around the room for the source. Her eyes fell on Hitomi.

"H..Hitomi?" she squeaked, rising shakily from her chair. "Oh Hitomi!" She rushed forward and scooped the 15 year-old in her arms.

The emotion getting to her, Hitomi brushed aside a threatening tear. "I'm home, mom."

"So yeah, I was thinking... maybe he might be interested!"

"Ha! Aren't you being a little overconfident?"

The mindless boy gabber continued between the three girls at the station. Hitomi stood apart from them, not paying any attention.

"Why don't you ask Hitomi? Hey Hitomi, what about it? Wanna read her love fortune?"

Hitomi looked up and smiled apologetically. "I've given up on fortune telling. Sorry girls."

She turned back to look out on the water, and that's when she saw him: the 16 year-old angel, sitting on the rocks with his wings out and the pendant gleaming. She paused, remembering.

Van and Hitomi lay together, facing each other on Hitomi's bed. She was still in her uniform, he still without his red top (a fact that led to a few distracted moments on Hitomi's part). He was sleeping, his defenses lowered for her as she watched his serene face. The kiss had been so powerful that she could still feel it, and she touched her lips to preserve the memory.

As the sun rose so did she, and he woke with her. He didn't need to say anything for her to know what he was thinking. She nodded somberly and together they walked. Through the corridors, out to the back woods, their hands brushing purposely but never entwining. At last they arrived at the cemetery, the place where it had all began."Van," Hitomi whined for the umpteenth time.

He replied with a sad smile. "I guess some part of me always knew that you would have to go back sooner or later... you need to be with your family and friends while you can."

"But that doesn't mean that I... I want to be with you Van."

"You always will be," he replied. "You know we can see each other anytime."

The tears began to fall again. "Here Van," Hitomi offered her hand with the pendant in it. "It's yours... it was always meant to be yours."

As he took her pendant he brought her to him in a warm, tight, final hug.

"I'll never forget you," she whispered, and soon the blue light befell them. She rose into the air, her eyes never straying from him as he smiled at her with gentle passion.

On the rocks, Van gazed at her as he sensed her remembering, silently asking how she was doing.

"Van," Hitomi smiled softly. "I'm doing just fine,"