Author's Notes: Allright, I said I wouldn't write anymore, but this chapter, just fell out.... oh well. But if you like, feel free to suggest good ideas for how you think this story could go and what kind of creatures will invade the school first. (Ihave no idea where I'm going with this, it being a 'Harry meets a FPS game' fic, the question is what will the gang have to battle first? Demons? Dragons? Aliens? Mafia? Mutants? Vampires? Dinosaurs? Monsters? Other? - that there will be Dark Wizards (maybe at the boss levels! heh) is a given, of course.) Anyways, enjoy and keep pressing that trigger button.

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Chapter 2

Harry thought Duke, with his angular features and blond hair,looked a bit Nordic with a definite Viking background - the kind of man who would be more comfortable swinging a massive battle axe into a skull rather than teach a bunch of children.

Duke stalked across the room mumbling something which sounded like "I'd rather be swinging a battle axe into a skull than teach this bunch."

Finally, he turned towards the class.

"The first thing you have to realize is a little saying I like to live by: The best defense is a great offense!" Cadukus said with a grin as if remembering previous 'best defenses' he had been involved with.

"Excuse me… Duke? But shouldn't we take roll?" Pansy Parkinson said, worried that fifteen minutes passed without the professor doing what the others have done in the years before.

"Roll? My policy is simple. If you want to learn how to survive, then be here. If you want to be ambushed by bloodthirsty monsters in the dark so your family and friends can only find a few choice fragments of your skull - and perhaps a tooth - and that's only if they are very, very lucky, then don't come. I won't be responsible for casualties through your own negligence and stupidity."

"And what do you think you can show us, other than how to club an enemy over the head like a common troll?" The voice, and attitude, belonged (of course) to Draco.

"Ahh, what do we have here? A smart alec!"

'What's a 'smart alec'?' Draco wondered to himself, before realizing it must be a muggle term. This made his dislike for the new professor that much greater. In fact, despite his violent streak, he bet that Cadukus was just like Hagrid - a big soft pussycat on the inside. Otherwise, there was no way Albus or the council would let a man like him teach.

"And do you know what the first rule is for being a smart alec, blondie?" Cadukus stalked to Malfoy's desk and leaned forward.

"My name is Draco Malf.."

"I asked you a question, blondie! Answer it or faced the consequences!" he shouted.

Draco still managed to keep enough of his cool to answer in a hiss. "I don't know."

"Well, " Duke leaned back and grinned, "the first rule is to use a snappy line only when you have the upper hand in a fight, or when you want to goad your enemy into making a mistake. Good try, blondie, but I don't make mistakes often. Five points to Slytherin house."

The slytherin boy was torn between hating the new nickname and being proud for the points. In the end, the two cancelled each other out in a neutral expression on his face.

"As to what I can teach you, heh." Duke grinned wider and cracked his massive knuckles. "Well, that all depends on you."

He sat down at the broken desk and absently cast a repairo spell at it. Looking over a parchment he started mumbling. "Let's see, what you all have covered. Disarming spells, good… some minor magical threats, werewolves, dementors, unforgivable curses, theory?? Bah!"

"At least you know about animagi. That's good." Cadukus said as he continued to study the parchment. "You never know when that mouse or fuzzy cat you ignored will suddenly change into your worst nightmare."

It was that moment that Professor McGonagall had the unfortunate timing to open the door and glance inside. "I was just seeing how your first class was going, Professor."

"It's going." Cadukus grunted and gestured toward the students who were all trying to not look at the witch directly or laugh out loud. "Just trying to see how far along the little ones are."

"Oh…" The transmogrification teacher stared at the broken window. "Um.. Good. Carry on, then."

Duke stood up after she left and casually tossed the parchment onto the floor. "Please, please tell me you know the basics of tactics and unarmed combat."

No one spoke up and some students looked down at their desks.

The massive professor sighed. "Have any of you had any, any battle experience whatsoever?"

After a pause, Harry spoke up. "We performed a rescue mission last year against many Death Eaters."

"And how did that work out for you?"

Harry lowered his head at the words. "It… we walked into a trap. I lost my godfather. The man I wanted to rescue."

Duke stared at the boy who lived and then sighed. "Good, then you won't make the same mistakes again. Five points to Gryffindor. And for the rest of you, I will try to impart this same lesson, though hopefully at a smaller cost than nappy-head here learned it."

Harry glared at the smiling face of the professor who only smiled further.

"Good, you got some anger there. I'll be teaching you how to harness it properly later." He then turned to the class. "Now for the first day, let's start with the basics. Can anyone tell me how to survive the killing curse?"

"That's 'basics'?" Hermione whispered what every other student was thinking to herself.

Neville raised his hand.

"Yes, you chubby."

"Uh… um.. you … can't. Only Harry has.. er.." the flustered student said. Despite his long hours of practice, Neville still did not have too much confidence and was especially intimidated by the hulking professor, though not as much as Snape.

"Errrr!" Duke made a buzzing noise. "Wrong answer! And in fact, with that attitude you're even more susceptible. You have to believe in yourself and question established answers, because if the enemies know that you follow proper procedures, they can anticipate your actions and plan accordingly. And usually, that results in a dead you. Got it?"

Neville nodded his head and started thinking about what Duke said.

Harry remembered his own experiences and raised his hand.

"Yes, nappy-head?"

Potter frowned, but answered, "I think I survived the first time because… of my mothers sacrifice. The next time was because I cast a spell with the match of the wand which cast the killing curse. There was a battle of wills and his wand started casting the last few spells in reverse. Then there was the time when Dumbledore animated a statue to intercept a blast meant for me."

Duke shook his head sadly. "In a combat situation, usually, you won't have the match of the wand casting spells at you, and I hope the rest of you don't have use your mothers as a shield."

There was slight laughter among the students.

"The last method is okay, if you are talking about taking cover behind something and not having the headmaster bring something to life every time you are in danger. But there is one more fundamental way of surviving a killing curse. The simplest, easiest way."

There was silence until it came to Hermione.

"Yes, you, brain girl."

The brain girl in question frowned at her nickname, but answered anyways. "The best way to survive the killing curse is to not get hit."

"Bingo! Ten points to Griffindor." Duke smiled. "The weakness of the killing curse is that it's a directional, single target spell. If it misses you, you got nothing to worry about. In battle, if you can evade and attack, do it. If you can't, then mount a defense. And you all know what I consider a good defense. So to that fact, please follow me to the back of the room. We will be practicing evading spells."

"What kind of spells are those?" asked a seventh year Slythrin boy.

"Not casting 'evading spells', we will BE evading spells." Cadukus sighed as the students moved towards the back.

"Hmmm… I suppose for the first day, you'll need some cushions or something." With that, he gestured with a massive ebony wand and the floor was covered in gym mats.

"But, Professor Duke, won't the desks get in the way?" Hermione asked.

"Yes." The professor grinned. "Yes they will"

Suddenly, Hermione could only think of how busy Madame Pomfrey, the nurse, would be during this school year.

And so the first day of Defense.. or was that Offense Against the Dark Arts class progressed.

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Random scene. (Will it appear later? Who knows! Yaaay!)

Harry crouched behind a large chunk of rubble that used to be a piece of the potions classroom wall. Avadra Kedavras were flying rapidly overhead from the small group of Dark Wizards while their magical creatures terrorized the students who did not have the unique luxury of Duke's tutilage.

The boy who lived glanced around for his team. The heavy hitter, Hermione, was crouched nearby - waiting to let loose with another of her signature combo lightning/fireballs. Ron, Malfoy, and Neville were peeking behind cover to occasionally loose a spell in the direction of the Death Eaters. Duke had left them explaining only that he had an idea.

Harry hoped it was a good one, because the situation was dire. Unless something happened fast, their position would be compromised and soon.

It was that point when Murphy and his law swung in Harry's favor.

The back wall exploded outwards in a hail of large stone bricks and dust to reveal a very large, very loud, and very angry three headed dog. The stunned Death Eaters looked up to see a wand wielding Cadukus happily sitting on top of Fluffy as though it was a giant carnivorus horse.

The DADA professor grinned wide and uttered, "Now pet my puppy!"

"From the INSIDE!", he added as the duo lunged.