Happy Enough by SLynn

Disclaimer: Any character you recognize, not mine.

Thanks To: anna, Sillie, Roses, Sylver Phantasy, Sheela, white rose01, BlondeNeko, misty, Em, cupotrevor. Again, not sure how this chapter is going to go over either, but I hope you enjoy it never the less.

Chapter 17: Resignation

They hadn't talked about it since.

After a few days of tension in the office the gossip mills died down. At first it had been pretty interesting, Hodges had told just about everyone who'd listen that Sara and Greg were shacking up. He'd finally stopped after Nick issued a thinly veiled threat. Both he and Warrick felt bad. They'd been joking, hadn't taken the matter seriously at all and now it seemed like a stupid thing to be laughing at in the first place. Sara and Greg were both barely speaking to either of them, but couldn't avoid each other. She was his trainer.

Each night that they worked together they'd stay strictly on subject. They didn't joke. They didn't laugh. She no longer asked him about how he was feeling or doing, it wasn't her place. And Greg was most definitely not offering up much else. It was business only.

A week had passed and Grissom knew it was time to step in. He wasn't use to this kind of tension on his team. He'd heard the rumors. Initially he'd dismissed them without question. He thought he knew exactly what type of relationship existed between each and every member of his staff. But, as he watched the days go by, he began to reassess the situation. There was something more here.

He'd decided on direct confrontation. First he'd talk to Sara, never doubting she'd tell him the truth. Sara was good with truths. He thought she might object on the grounds that it didn't really fall into the scope of duty. How she spent her off time, and who she spent it with, wasn't really his concern. He'd just have to argue that considering the effects it was.

If that didn't work, he didn't know what he'd do. He had little hope that Greg would tell him anything. He looked worse and worse as the days past. Greg was working about twenty hours a week now and it seemed to be too much. He came in sporadically throughout the night, never the same time any more, his hours fluctuating continuously.

That's what had stunned him. Before he'd had a chance to confront either of them, Greg approached him, waiting in his office just like he'd done before his diagnosis.

As if reliving it, Grissom simply saw him waiting there, walked inside and shut the door giving the young man all the time he needed to begin.

"I have this for you," Greg said after a few minutes, placing an envelope on the desk and sliding it across.

Grissom opened it and read the contents, brow furrowed.

"This is a letter of resignation."

"Yeah, mine."

Grissom stared at the sheet at a loss.

"I can't accept this."

Greg rested his head in his hands, frantically rubbing his face momentarily.

"You have too. Look at me, I can't do this anymore."

Grissom did look at him and understood in part. Greg looked bad. He'd lost a lot of weight now, his clothes almost hung off of him. He had dark rings around his eyes, obvious lack of sleep and possible dehydration.

"You can go on medical leave. I'll sign the paperwork tonight if you like. Disability insurance will cover your salary."

Greg was already waving him off.

"There's no point."

"There is a point. When you've beaten this you can come right back to the same position. Right back to where you've worked very hard to be."

"I appreciate the concern. I do. But we both know it's not a 'when' but an 'if'. 'If I beat this' and it doesn't look good."

Gil Grissom, brilliant scientist, was not equipped to handle this situation. He had no arguments against logic. He found himself hoping that Catherine or someone would walk through the door and say the right things he so evidently was not.

"What does Dr. Tracey say about this?"

"Dr. Tracey wants to admit me to the hospital tomorrow."

Twice in one night, Grissom was stunned.

"The cancer…"

"Increased as of my last test results, two days ago. They need to up the doses. Monitor me. She wants to do a marrow transplant too, if they find a match in enough time."

"You don't sound like you agree?"

"I've given it some thought."

"And?"

"And I've seen some really horrible deaths working here. Stuff that gave me nightmares a couple of times."

Greg paused to really consider if he wanted to finish this thought. Really speak it out loud to Grissom of all people.

"I don't want to die, but I'm going too," he finally began again. "That's life isn't it? And even worse, no one controls how it happens. It could be when you're a hundred and sleeping or twelve and just riding your bike across the street. But I have a choice, I still have a choice."

"You're not going to the hospital, are you?"

"I don't think so."

"You haven't decided?"

"No."

"So what were you thinking about doing instead?"

"What is there left to do?"

Grissom had an idea where this might be heading. He needed help here. Greg needed help. This was a serious problem, much more then he'd ever first imagined. Dr. Tracey had warned him long ago to look for the danger signs. Grissom just couldn't believe he'd missed them all until now.

"Greg, whatever it is your thinking of doing…"

"I don't know what I'm doing," Greg said somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "I don't want to die like that. I don't want to be hooked up to machines and pumped full of poison. Why is that so hard for anyone to understand?"

"I understand."

Greg looked up at him, eyes swollen and red.

"We can get you help Greg," Grissom continued. "We'll all be here to help you."

"I don't want anyone's help," he spat out at him.

"Fine. That's fine. Let me at least call Dr. Tracey. You can discuss other options with her. Work something out."

Greg shook his head.

"What about your parents?"

Grissom wasn't ready for this. Greg had begun to cry, really cry in front of him.

"I don't want to hurt them."

"I know that. What would they want you to do?"

"Have the treatment," Greg said, still shaking a bit. He felt as if he'd had no control over his voice now. It was as if his mouth was speaking without checking with his brain.

Grissom patted him on the back and waited for him to regain some composure.

"Greg," he asked as calmly as he could "what were you thinking of doing instead?"

For a full minute he was silent.

"I don't know," he said honestly. He hadn't known what he'd been doing for days now. Greg hesitated as if he had more to say. Grissom knew he had, just not how to get it out of him.

"An hour ago I checked out a service weapon."

"Where is it?"

"In my glove compartment."

Grissom nodded, feeling very much to blame. He should have seen this coming. Should have noticed the state he was in, but hadn't.

"I'm glad you told me."

Greg just sunk his head back into his hands and wondered if he'd made the right choice.

A/N: And the bad news is I'm going to have to leave it with a cliffhanger! I'm SO sorry but I will not be updating this story again until (at the very earliest) Sunday. I'm going to the Big Easy for the weekend and won't have the time. But, I will promise this – despite this chapter and the previous posted tonight I'm determined to end this damn thing happily. Also, I know this whole twist might seem drastic, but I've been hinting at it as best I could without coming right out and saying Greg was slipping into a serious depression. Hope it wasn't too jolting.