Happy Enough by SLynn

Disclaimer: Any character you recognize, not mine.

Notes: As always – thank you so much for your time and your reviews. This in now officially the longest story I've written and the most reviews I've ever received! As I've put in the summary, if you are having any type of problem viewing this story and would like chapters mailed to you, please contact me through my email address on my profile.

Chapter 24: Comfort

Greg's first night back lasted a lot longer then he'd thought it would. They'd called an ambulance for the girl and he'd seen her safely off before he got a ride back to the lab with Warrick and Catherine. The trip had been silent; the three of them were too exhausted to speak.

He only wanted to stay long enough to grab his things and go. Nothing sounded better then sleeping in his own bed, but it would have to wait.

"We need to talk," Sara said.

"Can we do this tonight," Greg said, "I really just need…"

"No," she cut in, "Now. We need to talk now."

Sara motioned him into the AV room and shut the door behind them. He hadn't known what to expect, he assumed it was a debrief.

"Okay," he said after the stood facing each other for a few seconds in silence.

"What in the hell were you thinking?" she suddenly blurted out loud and angry.

Greg just stood mute.

"I never said go inside. I told you to look around and that was it. You could have been killed Greg. It was stupid and irresponsible."

"Wait a minute," he said finally finding his bearings. "I told you where I was going. If you had any problems with it you should have said something then."

"You know protocol. I'm responsible for you in the field. Not just for your training, for your safety. You had no fire arm, no training what so ever…"

"Damn it Sara, I didn't know there was anyone inside. The police cleared the building…"

"Just because they say its clear doesn't mean anything. You still have to be careful. You have to keep your eyes and your ears open. Don't shake your head at me like it can't happen."

"That's not…"

"Catherine's been attacked on scene before and she has more experience the two of us combined. People have been killed. CSI's doing this job."

"You don't think I know that, I know the risks involved. I knew Holly, Sara. I worked here with her. I may not have been out there 'doing the job' but I'm not ignorant."

"You shouldn't be in the field," she said flatly, the anger draining from her voice.

"What?" he exclaimed. "Is that what this is really about?"

"Yes. It's about you not knowing enough to be out in the field."

"That's bullshit. I've worked my ass off to get here and you know it. You practically told me yourself that it's where I should be."

"Did you even stop and listen first before you went through that door? Did you even think that maybe there was something back there other then evidence?"

Greg flushed as he remembered and then looked away. He had heard a noise; a rustling he'd thought had been rats. Silence filled the room.

"You're right," he said setting his jaw and not looking at her. "I did hear something and I went in anyway."

Sara said nothing to his admission.

"So what, do you file a report now? Put me on probation, how does this work?"

"Greg," she said trying to lighten her tone.

"No, you're right. That was stupid and irresponsible and I probably shouldn't be out in the field. I shouldn't even be in this job."

"I didn't mean that."

"You've never said anything you didn't mean."

Sara had never been more uncomfortable then she was now. Greg practically radiated anger, but she couldn't tell if it was directed at her or inward.

"Can I go now?" he finally asked tersely.

Sara nodded and he was out the door in under a second.

Greg called in that night too tired for work. He'd spent the majority of his morning fuming over what had happened. Alternating between being angry with himself and with Sara.

He'd finally gotten to sleep around two in the afternoon. It had been a fitful slumber, filled with images of all the other things that could have been behind that door, each scenario worse then the next. Greg was woken just before seven by the chimes of his doorbell.

Clumsily making his way to the front door, too sleepy to take a look out the peephole, he asked who was there without opening up. He'd known of course who it would be, Sara. They seemed to have fallen into a rapid cycle of love and hate, friend and foe, yin and yang. They'd fought; it was time to make amends. Greg didn't feel up to it.

"Come back later," he said without bothering to open the door before turning to go.

"Greg," she yelled back, pounding for effect, "Open up."

Reluctantly he turned round and let her in.

"So you've either thought up a few new ways to insult me or you've come to say you're sorry. Either way, I don't want to hear it. Just send me an email or voice mail if you prefer. I'm going to get some more sleep."

"No, we need to talk."

"Sara," Greg said exasperated now, "no we don't. We've talked plenty and it hasn't done us any good. I'm going back to bed. Stick around if you like, leftovers are in the fridge."

Greg continued on to his room, Sara close at his heels.

"I wasn't being fair to you this morning."

"Okay, so it is time for apologies. I'm sorry, you're sorry. Please let me sleep."

"Stop that. Stop this whole 'I'm above being angry' crap. I know you are and condescending doesn't suit you."

Greg sat down at the edge of his bed.

"Okay, so I'm listening."

"Good," Sara continued. "I was as much to blame for what happened this morning as you were. I'm more to blame."

"No," Greg started to contradict her.

"Yes, you told me where you were going and I should have gone with you."

"Alright," he said evenly.

"That's it?"

"What else am I supposed to say here?"

"Greg, I don't think you're incompetent. I really don't. You did an amazing job in the lab and given time you're going to do an amazing job in the field. This morning I went off, I admit it, but it wasn't because I thought you didn't belong out there. It wasn't because of anything you've done."

"You certainly had a different opinion earlier."

"I was scared okay."

"So was I, but its fine now. Nothing happened."

"Greg that's not the point," Sara said, her eyes wet with unshed tears, "I don't think I could have moved if I'd had to, not then. Not when it counted. If it hadn't been that little girl, if it had been our suspect, we'd both be dead. I was too petrified to move."

"Sara, come on," Greg said standing again, not sure what he should be doing for her, his voice having lost all of its previous coldness. Sara was nearly shaking and he hated seeing her like this. "You're being too hard on yourself."

"I had my gun out. I thought I'd be ready, but when you waved me off my stomach went cold. I thought you might be just trying to protect me. I just kept thinking…"

Greg rested his hands on her forearms, trying to do something for her without invading her personal space. Within seconds she fell into his arms and he was holding her tightly whispering words of comfort.

After she'd calmed down, Greg let his hands rest on her face so he could look into her eyes.

"You alright?"

She nodded.

"I never took you for a crier," he said with mock seriousness.

"Normally I'm not. I think you were right, there's something about our personalities that draw out odd confession at inappropriate times."

Greg nodded with a smile and then kissed her forehead; lingering a bit longer then he'd planned.

When he looked back into her eyes, they'd changed. He'd seen her look like that before. Once before.

"Sara," he said pulling away from her before she could act. "We can't."

"I'm not asking for anything more…"

"Yeah, I know that," Greg cut in, stepping further back, nearly retreating. "That's why we can't."

She looked down, feeling what? Ashamed. Ashamed but only worse. Much worse.

"This isn't how we should be trying to make ourselves feel better. That isn't what this should be about. God knows I'm lonely, okay. I know it. And you're here, and you're beautiful and when you look at me like you were just now, it makes me a little crazy. But I can't do this. I can't because I know tomorrow it won't matter. Tomorrow we'll wake up like strangers, worse then strangers. We'll wake up like friends and I can't do that. I can't pretend that I feel nothing."

Sara wanted to leave. Wanted to run for the door but felt bolted to the spot. She didn't want to hear any of this. Didn't want to think she'd been hurting him as badly as she so obviously must have been.

"We can be friends. I will always be your friend, but this can't happen. Not anymore."

"Okay," she said quietly.

Greg nodded feeling relieved and sick both at once.

"I didn't mean for any of this…"

"Neither did I," he echoed.