CHAPTER 1
As I stepped into the bathroom and closed the door, the phone rang. Oh, great, I thought, nobody ever answered the phone in my house. Except me. And my kid sister. But I knew it would be for me, so I raced down the stairs to the phone and picked it up.
"Jenkins residence, this is Chione,"
"Hey babe," a familiar voice said, "I'm on my way. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."
"Oh, okay," I calmly replied, though the tension was about to become apparent in my voice. After all, I was still in a towel and I had fifteen minutes to get ready.
"See you in fifteen, then," he sang cheerfully.
"Okay, bye." I said hurriedly, hanging up before hearing his response.
"Who was it, honey?" my mother asked from the next room,
"Oh, it was Eric. He was just calling to tell me he'd be here in fifteen minutes."
"Well then, shouldn't you get a move on?" she asked as if she was brilliant, honestly. I knew that I should, so I did. I bolted up the stairs and into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and turned the dial to cold. I slid my towel off, stepped into the shower, and shock hit me. Ooh, maybe a cold shower was not the best way to go faster. I turned the dial to warm and sighed. I quickly shampooed my hair, rinsed it and lathered it with conditioner. I put it up into a hair tie and sprayed my legs with shaving cream. I grabbed for my razor and realized it was on the sink. I ran out of the shower, cold and wet, and snatched my razor. I skipped over wet towels and rugs back into the shower and tried to shave my legs as quickly as possible. Bad idea. I winced as blood trickled down my ankle. I rinsed my leg off and shaved my other leg, a bit more carefully. I rinsed my legs, brushed my hair out, rinsed my whole body, and turned the shower off. From inside the shower curtain I reached for the towel hanging on the hook. I took the towel, dried my hair, and wrapped it around myself. Then came a voice from the living room.
"Chione, I have to go to the pet store and get some more cat litter, Tabatha ate it again."
"Okay, mom!" I yelled.
"So don't blast your music, just in case Eric comes early." She said, coming up the stairs and opening the bathroom door.
"Okay, mom." I said, quickly throwing on my robe. "See you later, if I'm not home when you get home, I'll be back by ten-thirty."
"All right, honey, see you then," she called pleasantly as she skipped down the stairs. I had to get ready. I raced into my room, slamming the door, and I turned on my favorite song, "As the World Falls Down" by David Bowie. Eric and I had first danced to that song. He had hated it at first, but he grew to love it, just because I had loved it so much and played it all the time. He was the first guy who had truly loved me. I had only had one other boyfriend before Eric. His name was Jeremy. He was perfect, or so I thought. My parents loved him. I was sixteen and he was eighteen. We had been dating for nearly three months, since the week after my sixteenth birthday. He had picked me up for another date; we were gong to go see a midnight showing of Labyrinth, my favorite movie. I got into his car and shut the door, waved goodbye to my parents, who were still together at the time. Mom still hadn't known what dad was doing.
I realized then that I had been sitting on my bed, naked, not only was the window wide open, but I was still not ready and I had eight minutes. I jumped over to the closet, tugged my dress off the hanger, and threw it on. I quickly threw my hair into a ponytail on top of my head, fixed it up, and put on lip-gloss and mascara. I looked into the mirror and gazed with satisfaction. This was me, on the way to my first real Halloween party. Eric had always gone to Halloween parties, but I was not so social before I had met him. The costume was perfect. I was going as a Barbie doll from hell. The dress was a short blue dress with puffy sleeves and full skirt. I was wearing knee-high white stockings and three-inch black Mary Janes, the dress and its mini white apron were splattered with fake blood and I had a knife tucked into the pocket at the front of the apron. The most special part of the costume was something I never took off, a choker. It didn't match at all, but it didn't have to. Eric would know the significance and that was all that mattered to me. It was two chains, connected by two pieces of leather in the back that snapped. One of the chains had a lock; Eric had the key. He carried it with him everywhere he went. I had originally got the necklace from Sirena, my best friend, but I had told her the meaning of the lock and key and she agreed that when I found love, I should give him, whoever 'he' would be, the key to my heart, so to speak. I had decided this my freshman year of high school. A bit childish, but the meaning was there. I turned off my music, walked down to the living room and sat down on the couch. Ten minutes passed and I decided to lie down. I began thinking about Jeremy again. And my dad. Both had said they loved me; both had lied.
Jeremy and I went to the movie, and then he began driving me home. Everything was all right until we passed my street. I told Jeremy this, but he kept driving, I figured he hadn't heard me, so I told him louder.
"Jeremy, we passed my house." He kept going.
"I know, there's something I want to show you," he said grimly.
"I have to be home." I said, knowing that my mom would be worried if I was late.
"Will you shut up already?" he said, "your parents trust me, I don't see why you don't."
"I do trust you," I said, "but I have to be home, I need to go to…"
"I SAID I'D GET YOU HOME, ALL RIGHT?! I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING!"
"Take me home," I said, "Now."
"No, you'll like it, trust me." He said, with a pleading tone.
"Jeremy, take me home!" I shouted. He finally gave in. He drove me home. I got out of the car and walked into my house. My mom ran to the door, gave Jeremy a dirty look, and shoved me inside, where she started hugging me and telling me she loved me and how glad she was that I was all right. When I asked what was wrong she said Jeremy and his friends had been found in possession of drugs and had murdered someone that night. They had also raped someone, a friend of mine, Jeremy's friend's girlfriend. Her name was Malika. My stomach dropped. That could've been me. He said he loved me. My head was swirling. I dropped to the floor in a dead faint.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK… KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK…. I woke up with a start.
"Chione, Chione are you in there?" It was Eric. It had only been a dream. A memory, that's all it had been. It was over.
"Yes," I called, getting up and walking toward the table where my purse was, "Yes, I'm here!" I opened the door. There he was. We had been dating for the past two years and still my stomach flipped when I saw him. Partially because he was the most gorgeous guy I had ever laid eyes on; partially because he really, really loved me and that was rare these days, even I knew that.
"Hey, gorgeous," he said, "Ready to go?"
"Yes," I said, "Let me get a glass of water. I'm parched." He gave me a quizzical look.
"What have you been doing for the last half hour?" he asked.
"Sleeping," I said, remembering the dream I'd had. Eric saw the peculiar look on my face and knew automatically that something was up.
"Did you have a bad dream?" He asked, knowing what I had most likely dreamt.
"Yes," I said, not really wanting to say any more, but knowing that he would persist.
"About…?"
"About… Jeremy." I said, my face dropping.
"Hey," he said, sensing what I felt, "Chione, look at me, " he pulled my face toward his, "It was not… your… fault, okay?" He looked straight into my eyes. I still felt as though it had been, after all, if I had only seen through the sweet exterior into Jeremy's shady and perverted inner self, I would have known not to date him, "Chione, Jeremy was a bastard who deserved to die after what he tried with you."
"Okay," I said, seeing his point, but still feeling unsure, "I know, and I'm glad I found you. And I…I love you." I had never uttered those words to him before; I had not said it since my dad left. He looked at me with the same love and he smiled.
"I love you too, Chi," he said, and he hugged me tightly, it felt good to be there in his arms. He tilted my chin up and I looked im in the eye for the first time since he had been here. He had the most beautiful eyes; one was silver and one emerald green. He returned my gaze and we stood there, just looking into each other's eyes. "You still want water, then?" He asked.
"Oh, yeah, I better get some so we can get going," I broke away from the embrace reluctantly and walked over to the sink. I filled a large glass and downed it. Then I grabbed my purse, my helmet, and we were off. The party was going to be held at Sirena's house, which was part of the reason I was so comfortable in such a short dress. All of our old friends would be there, including Maria, who had recently moved to a nearby suburb. When we pulled up to the house, Eric parked his motorcycle in some nearby bushes and we went to the door. I didn't even bother knocking; I had practically lived here since the seventh grade anyway. I stepped in, climbed the front stairs and stopped dead in my tracks. Eric didn't even need to ask why. There in Sirena's living room, dressed in his everyday clothes, hardly ten feet from me, stood Jeremy…
CHAPTER 2
"H-hello, Jeremy," I said, though the sound came out a little less fearless than I had intended.
"Chione," he said, walking up to me, "Long time no see,"
"Hello, Jeremy," Eric said in a warning tone that made my heart beat again.
"Eric," Jeremy said with such an icy tome that hell itself probably would have frozen. They stared at each other for a long time, both with deadly intentions. Eric and Jeremy had been best friends all through freshman year and part of their sophomore year. But when Jeremy got into drugs, Eric left the crowd. This had been right after I had left Jeremy; so naturally, Jeremy thought Eric had had something to do with our sudden breakup. This was entirely untrue, but Jeremy was never one to listen to reason.
"CHIIIONEEEEEE!" yelled a recognizable voice from somewhere behind Jeremy.
"Sirena! Where the hell are you?"
"Right here!" Sirena said, stepping through the crowd, she was dressed as a 'genetic experiment'. She was in a schoolgirl outfit, white shirt, short pleated black skirt, but with high-heeled boots and torn black tights. Her hair was down and hanging limply in her face, her lips were blue, and she had blood tears running down her face and fangs protruding from her mouth. She also had thumbtacks with the pins taken off stuck to her arm. She did look like something that had just stepped out of a scientific lab.
"Nice," I said with a smile of approval.
"You too, so… you went for the 'Barbie From Hell' idea then?"
"No, how did you guess?" I asked facetiously. I then pulled her aside and bid Eric excuse me, but told him to stay the hell away from Jeremy. "Sirena," I said as nicely as possible, "Why the bloody hell did you invite him to the party?"
"Because, Chione, he basically threatened me that if I didn't find some ay for him to see you he would find you and Eric anyway, and I personally do not want to know what he is planning to do out of the public eye."
"Okay, then, I'm going to go settle this with him. Tonight." Although she had been my best friend since the seventh grade, I sensed Sirena was hiding something from me. Something in her tone gave off a secretive vibe.
"Are you sure?" she had a look of worry for me in her eyes.
"Yes," I returned, "I have to be able to live my life without fear of the past." With that I walked over to where he and Eric were silently glaring at each other. I told Eric what I wanted to do, and he told me he would not let me go without him, so I told him to sit by the window; that way if anything went wrong, he could come to me. He agreed and walked silently toward the window. "Jeremy, let's go outside," I pulled Jeremy toward the door.
"Are you sure you want to go without your beloved?" He spat.
"I'm sure I can handle myself," I retorted and walked toward the front door.
When we were outside, I turned to Jeremy and told him exactly what was up. "Jeremy, I need to stop living in constant fear that someday I will wake up to see you over me with a knife," I said.
"Well you don't have to worry about that," he said, "knives aren't my style," he stepped toward me, "So, Chione, why did you leave me anyway? No letters, not even a little phone call while I was in prison."
"That's exactly why, Jeremy!" I practically yelled, "You did drugs, you were sick."
"Was. I was sick. I am better now, so why don't you leave the freak show and come back to me, huh?" his words were dripping with malevolence, he was so close now I could feel his breath on my face.
"Jeremy I don't love you, I love Eric," I said, afraid of what Jeremy might be drove to do. He slapped me, never taking his gaze from my eyes. I wondered why Eric wasn't coming outside.
"You love him?" Jeremy asked with a disgusted tone, "and you call me sick?! He has tattoos; he drives a Harley, and what about the look of him! He's so gothic!" I thought suddenly of the word gothic. When we were still just friends, I had asked Eric if he was trying to be gothic, he said simply 'Gothic? Chione, Gothic is a state of mind.' It was true, in a way. 'Gothic' was not a fashion statement unless someone wanted it to be. Eric did have two tattoos, a heart with three black dots around it, one represented me, one represented his sister, and one his freedom. This one was on his shoulder. The other one was on his arm, a sun he had got when he was fifteen. It represented his belief in an afterlife better than this life. Jeremy noticed the look on my face and then continued with the insults, "He has that long black hair, and what's with the eyes? God, how can you 'love' someone like that?"
"It's better than loving a greasy, drugged up LOSER!" I shouted.
"Who happens to be a hell of a lot smarter than that freak!"
"Who went to PRISON!!!" I was done. If he wanted to continue with the insult game, I would just sit back and let him ramble until we could have civilized conversation. Little did I know the game was far from over. He proceeded to insult Eric with every lame insult in he world, each time stopping to remind me that he was 'Gothic' and that I had it so much better when I was with him. I was sick of hearing this arrogant bastard tell me what choices I had made wrong. "Stop it, Jeremy! I don't love you anymore! I love Eric! So just leave us alone!"
"I think not," he said, his hand around my waist, "Come on, Chione, come back to me. Why would you want to be with that freak anyway?"
"I would sooner die," I spat, "than even consider you a potential mate."
"Hm." He said, seeming to take my last remark into mind and then he began to choke me violently. I tried to scream, but he covered my mouth, I bit his hand. I tasted the warm blood that trickled from his wound, "You little bitch!" he said, hitting me across the face and pulling out a gun from his belt, "You want it that way, fine," he said, and raised the barrel toward my face. Then, out of nowhere, he was on the ground and Eric was hitting him repeatedly. Suddenly I heard a loud noise. Eric fell to the ground. A dark pool began to grow around him. He coughed and then his head dropped.
"Eric!!!" I yelled, running to him, sitting beside him and resting his head in my lap, "Eric, look at me," I said, tears streaming down my face, "Eric…"
CHAPTER 3
He didn't respond. He just lay there looking at me and smiling with an everlasting love in his eyes. Then he finally said something, seemingly with great effort.
"Chione?" He asked.
"Yes, Eric, yes, it's me. I'm here."
He looked at me with glazed eyes and took a long, difficult breath, "I… love… you, Chione, just remember that, promise me you won't…" he coughed and blood dripped from his mouth. I wiped it away with my jacket sleeve. "Promise you won't ever… forget…" He coughed again, more blood trickled from his open mouth, and I wiped it away again. I could scarcely believe my love was dying right in front of me. This had to be a dream. Soon I would wake up and Eric would be banging on the door to pick me up and we would leave to go to the Halloween party. Then we would spend the rest of our lives together, like we had planned to. Everything was going to be okay, because this was just a dream. It had to be.
He coughed again, looking up into my eyes with an expectant stare. He wanted me to respond. I knew then that it was not a dream. He was dying, and I would be alone for the rest of my life.
"I promise, I promise… I'll never forget you," I said through my tears. "I love you Eric, you'll be okay, Eric, please be okay. You'll pull through… Eric… I love you, don't do this. You're stronger than that, you are. You can make it through this." He just lay there with smiling, blood soaked lips. He said what both of us knew, but neither would say.
"I'm dying, Chi. We both know it, just sit here wit me until I go, okay?" I couldn't oppose anymore. He was right, he was dying and I was going to sit there with him until the very last second. We just stayed there looking at each other. This was the man I loved and nothing could keep me from avenging his murder.
"Eric?" I said, trying to keep his last moments happier.
"Yes, Chione?" he answered, probably realizing what I was doing.
"Do you remember when we were first going out?"
"Very well," he whispered.
"Remember our first date?" I asked, knowing he remembered every detail.
"That was the night we went to the movies. We went to go see your favorite movie. I surprised you with a rental of the whole theatre."
"Yeah, that was the best night of my life," I whispered equally as soft, tears now welling up in the rims of my eyes. I fought to keep them back, staying strong until the end.
"Mine too." He smiled once more and brushed my hair from my eyes. I held his hand there. Then he coughed, closed his eyes, and let out a long, raspy breath. And there on Halloween night, my one and only love, the one man who ever truly loved me for who I was, my soul mate, died in my arms.
CHAPTER 4
I woke with a start. Had it only been a dream? Shaking uncontrollably, I stood up and walked to the mirror. I looked for a bloodstain on my face where Eric had brushed my hair from my eyes. Not a spot. My eyes grew wide. Maybe it had been a dream. I rushed downstairs to call see if my thoughts might be true.
"Mom!" I called, "I'm going to call Eric!" There was no answer, so I ran to the phone to hear his voice again, hoping that it really had been a dream. I quickly dialed the number and waited for someone to pick up.
"Hello?" his father said.
"Hello, Mr. , is Eric available?" he didn't respond, "Hello? Mr. ? Are you there?"
"Chione," he nearly whispered, "I want you to stay calm, sweetheart, okay?" Mr. had always liked me, he thought I was 'just what Eric needed'.
"Why?" I said, although I knew what he was going to say.
"Eric was shot last night, at Sirena's Halloween party. He died within an hour. I'm sorry." I couldn't speak. I held the phone to my ear, hoping for a sign that he was wrong, maybe joking, but the next thing he said was the confirmation of my worst fears, "The funeral is tomorrow afternoon. Can I tell his mother that you'll be there?"
I began to scream.
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. I couldn't cry. It wasn't true enough yet. I sat up to see my mother on the phone in my doorway.
"Yes, I think she'll be okay, yes, I'll make sure to give her the message—oh, I think she's coming around. Honey, it's Sirena, do you want to talk to her?" I waved my hand in beckoning for her to give me the phone, "Oh, hang on, Sirena, here she is."
"Hello?" I said numbly.
"Chione?" said a familiar voice, "hi, how are you?"
"I'm just fine," I said sarcastically, "I mean you know, Jeremy just killed Eric, and I don't know why the hell you invited them both to the party, but you did…"
"I told you, Chione, he was going to find you anyway, and I had no idea he had the gun, and…"
"And you two were together at the time," I said.
"…"
"Yes, I found out. Surprise, surprise…"
"But we broke up," she said, "if it's any consolation…"
"Yes, well, I am glad that you broke up with that murdering piece of filth…" I retorted coldly.
"Chione, I'm sorry Eric's gone, and we both miss him terribly, but you can't just keep yourself from the whole world…"
She had a point. I had no reason to be this way. "I'm sorry," I said, "I guess I just needed some kind of answer as to why this had to…" I couldn't finish the sentence. I had begun sobbing mid phrase.
"Oh, Chi, Chione… it's okay… do you want me to come to the funeral with you?" This only made me sob louder and more uncontrollably. "Oh, Chione, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"
"It's fine," I finally managed, "Yeah, come to the funeral, its tomorrow, right?"
"Uh... no, it's today, you've been out cold since you fainted yesterday morning. You left Mr. on the line and everything, he heard you scream and that was it… he heard a thud and knew what had happened, so he called your mom."
"Today…"
"Yeah, today."
"When?"
"In an hour and a half."
"Okay, come over and help me get ready, will you?"
"Sure, hon. anything you want."
"Thanks. See you in ten?"
"Sure thing," she said, and hung up the phone. I hung up as well, and then tried to stand up. It was of no real use. The second I got to my feet I began sobbing uncontrollably and immediately fell to my knees. He was really gone. Forever.
Sirena came into my room about ten minutes later and looked at me like I was dying too. "Sirena, why are you looking at me that way? Where's Eric?" I had no idea why I had asked that. Even though I knew why she was looking at me that way, even though I knew Eric had died, I had to hear it again. Just make sure I wasn't dreaming, that he wasn't going to come up behind her and jump into my room just as he had before with his devilish smile and his wild, curly, shoulder-length black hair, either in a ponytail or hanging loosely in his eyes.
"Chi, I brought you some chocolate. Here," she said, ignoring the last question and handing the big basket of chocolate to me. I was crying again, more quietly this time. Remembering the day he asked me how I felt about him…
"Chi?" he had said.
"Yeah, Eric?"
"How do you feel about me… and… about us?" he had looked at me with the most intense look I had seen on him for a long time. I knew he was serious.
"I feel…" I knew how I had felt. I was in love with him. I had been since we had first been together. Even before that. "I feel… I feel like I've known you forever. Like we were meant to be together. I think I knew that from the first minute I saw you. How do you feel?"
"I don't really know. All I know is that you're the only thing keeping me alive sometimes. When the world seems like it's against me, when everything's going wrong, I always know I'll have you."
"Me too."
"Yeah?"
"…Yeah…"
"Chi? Chi? Chione, we have to get ready. Chione, where are you?" Sirena waved a hand in front of my face. "Chiiioooneeeee?"
"I'm okay," I said quickly, shaking my head to regain my sense of where I was, "I was just remembering…" I couldn't finish. I was crying again.
"Oh, Chione. It's okay," she said, helping me up off the floor, where I had been since trying to stand the first time, "Let's pick you out something nice to wear, okay?" she opened my closet. "Well, I think that'll be easy. Most of your wardrobe is black."
I laughed a little, humoring her. But inside I was being ripped slowly to shreds; every fiber of my soul had dies that night. I had no idea how I would go on.
We both picked an outfit for me. A black skirt, one reaching to the floor. Eric had bought it for me on our one-month anniversary. On top I was wearing a black tank top with a black sweater over it. All black. I had worn basically nothing but black and a little bit of color since my freshman year. Eric had been the only one who has really accepted that besides Sirena.
We walked out the door and got into Sirena's car. I couldn't drive right now. We arrived at the cemetery about half an hour later. We walked through the doors into the funeral hall. The casket was open, which I did not expect. I looked at Eric. He was wearing his favorite outfit: a black t-shirt, his black leather jacket, and a pair of black pants. Those pants were his favorite things to wear. He could lose all his clothes to a fire, but as long as he had those pants, he would be happy. I never had any idea why he loved those pants so much. I had seen him wearing a different pair about twice in the two years we had been together. But that made sense. He had two pairs of the same pants so he wouldn't have to wear the exact same pants every day. I remembered saying to him on day that it was basically the same thing, but just a different pair of pants.
"Eric," I had said, "you wear those pants every day. Why?"
"No I'm not." He had said simply, as if it was obvious.
"Um, yes you are," I replied, confused.
"No, I bought two pairs of these, so I wouldn't wear the same pair every day."
"But they're the exact same pair of pants!" I had laughed, "look, the same loops, the same zippers, same pockets, black, loose at the legs, I do love those pants, but why do you wear them every single day?"
"I told you, Chi, I bought two pairs. I liked these pants, but I didn't want to wear the same ones every day."
"But they're basically the same! They're two different pairs, yeah, but who else will know that?"
"Chione, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. As long as you're happy. As long as you feel content here." He said, pointing to my heart. I smiled; I knew then why he was so free and why I was so attracted to him. He didn't dress the way everyone else did because he didn't care what everyone else thought. But he didn't dress as differently as he did to get attention. He didn't give a shit what everyone else thought. He was a free spirit. Destined to be born, live and die a free soul. That was the day he had showed me the tattoo on his shoulder. The heart. Then it had only had two dots around it. That same weekend he went to the tattoo place to get a third dot. For me. Resting forever right there next to his heart.
The eulogizer came to the podium and began speaking. "We are gathered here today in loving memory of Eric …"
My mind drifted off again. I remembered the day Eric first spoke to me about a possible future together.
I was overcome with joy.
"Chione?"
"Yes, Eric?"
"What do you think about when you think about us?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean… do you see us together… in the future?"
"Do you?" I asked, uncertain about what he was saying.
"I… I do, actually… I think about us being together always. Getting married, having kids…"
"Me too… I was always afraid of you not thinking about that. I thought I was just being idealistic."
"I thought you would think I was being idealistic." He confessed, "I hoped you felt the same though."
"I do," I said.
"I hope one day I can hear you say that again," he said, referring to my last comment.
"I do too."
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Chione," it was Sirena, "Chione, the procession is starting," she said, "They're all heading outside."
"Oh," I said, getting up, "okay, let's go." We both walked out of the hall in the large procession to where Eric would be laid to his final resting place. I was not sure I could handle seeing that, but I had to say goodbye one more time. I needed closure. I took a rose form the display and walked out into the cemetery.
When we were all outside, gathered around the casket, I finally saw Eric's parents. His father was standing there, looking at the ground where his son would be put to rest for the rest of eternity. His mother, always a radiant lady, was standing there by hi dad crying, as was expected. She was looking at the casket with the same expression I had had when he died in my arms. She looked like she was half expecting him to jump out of the casket and laugh at the joke he had just pulled in all of us. But even she knew it wasn't a joke. Eric had died, and he was gone forever. None of us would ever see his smile anymore, none of us would hear him sing or play the guitar or laugh with his boyish grin showing through his usually wet black hair. He would never run up behind me and play-tackle me, he would never smile with those mischievous eyes, those eyes that always looked like he was about to reveal the punch line to the funniest joke anyone would ever hear. He always seemed to know something, something secret, something new and fun. He would never look at me with those eyes again.
He was in the ground now. I walked over to the hole before they began to bury him. I kissed the rose and threw it into the grave. "I'll never forget," I whispered, "…I love you…" I knew he couldn't hear me, but I said it anyway. I loved him. He didn't deserve to die. Jeremy deserved to die. And he would. I stepped back, watching the men with shovels throw dirt on his casket carelessly, as if he didn't matter. He did matter; he mattered to me more than life itself. It was then that I made up my mind. I would have revenge for his murder. I knew what I had to do. And as soon as Jeremy was released from prison, I would do it.
CHAPTER 5
Five Years Later.
I lay on my bed, waiting for the phone call. Today was Jeremy's release day. I had been counting down since the funeral. It had been exactly five years and one week. 1,807 days. Jeremy had been sent to prison exactly one week after the funeral. He would be released today and I would have my revenge. People began to think I was crazy about a year after Eric died. They said that I should be done mourning. That I should move on with my life. I had moved on. I had moved out of my house, gotten an apartment in the city, and I had a decent job as a magazine editor. But none of that mattered. I knew that Jeremy deserved death and that he only got such a short sentence because he was found not guilty of murder for lack of proof, but he did have drugs on him that night. Just then the phone rang. I picked it up as quickly as my reflexes would allow.
"Hello?"
"Chione." It was Sirena.
"Sirena?" I said, waiting for what I had been looking foreword to all this time.
"He's out."
"He is?"
"Yes," she said, "But he's a lot stronger than he was five years ago. And he has friends."
"Yes, but do his friends know what he did?" I asked confidently.
"I... don't know…" she said, catching on to what I was thinking.
"Hm. Where is he staying?" I asked.
"Thirty-second and Park." She told me, not really knowing what I was planning. Sirena was the only friend that had stuck by me in my five years of mourning. I smiled. Thirty-second and Park. That was across the street from the cemetery. It was ten thirty at night; the city was all but empty. But that didn't matter. Nothing did. I needed to avenge Eric's murder, no matter what the consequences.
"Sirena, come over really quick, would you?" I asked. This was not at all unusual, so Sirena complied.
Twenty minutes later, Sirena came into my apartment, shaking off the snow, which had come really early this year. I had been in the kitchen, she had a key, and so I never really waited for her to get there or anything. She just walked in whenever she got there. "I'm here!" She yelled.
"Hi, I'm in the kitchen. What took you?" I asked.
"Snow. Traffic. You name it…"
"Ah." I said, taking out two cups and mixing the hot cocoa into them. I walked into the living room and handed one to Sirena, who had a peculiar look in her face.
"Chione, what are you planning?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" I was playing innocent.
"I mean… what are you planning with Jeremy? I know that tone in your voice, you're planning something."
"The night Eric…"
"Yeah?"
"I went back later that night. At about two thirty. I went back and I got the gun. I still have it. It has two shots left." I went to the wooden chest it was in and took it out, laying it flat on my palms.
"Chione…"
"I have been waiting for this day for five years." I said, my voice nearly a whisper.
"But you aren't going to…."
"It depends…"
"On…?"
"On whether I can…"
"And…?"
"And on whether these shots are good."
"Chione…" Sirena stared at me, horror stricken, "You could… he's got friends… you can't just…"
"But I can try."
"Chi…" she was pleading with me now, she knew as well as I knew what kind of danger I was about to put myself into, and she knew that even if I lived, I could got o prison for life.
"I know what you're thing," I reassured, "But I have to. I've thought of every precaution and all that, I won't get arrested…"
"But what if you-"
"I won't. I'll be careful." It's eleven. I'm leaving at midnight."
"Okay, I know you, Chione, and I now I cant stop you from doing something if you really want to do it, so…" she got up, getting ready to leave, "I want you to be careful, okay?"
"I will." I said.
She gave me a hug and started for the door, "and CALL me if you need anything, okay?"
"I will call you if I need anything."
"ANYTHING." She said, and gave me a wink. And with that, she was off.
I looked at my kitchen clock. Eleven thirty. Thirty minutes left. I went into my room and changed into a different outfit. One that I was sure would be familiar to Jeremy. I was wearing the outfit I had worn the night Jeremy took my life from me. With one small adjustment. I had dyed it black. And the stockings. All black. The night Jeremy died too. He was already dead, he just didn't know it. He died the second he hurt Eric.
I walked out of my apartment, caught a cab, and stopped down the street from the address Sirena had reluctantly given me. A car drove by and some young boy leaned out the window and yelled at me. "HEY BABEEEEEEE!" I shot him a dirty look and walked on. I stood outside the door of Jeremy's apartment building and froze. This was it. No turning back now. Not that I wanted to. At that very moment, I heard a voice from inside a window on the third floor. It was Jeremy.
"No, I don't care whether it's an inconvenience, just do it!" he sounded the same to me. No better, no worse. The same selfish, gritty arrogant, self-centered bastard he had always been. I walked to the fire escape. There was a ladder up against it. Perfect. I could climb that easily. I climbed up to Jeremy's room and waited outside his window. About an hour passed and he left the apartment, but he left the window open. I knew he would. I climbed into the apartment and waited for his return. I looked around and the disgusting interior of the apartment nearly made me sick. I sat down on a clean spot on the floor and waited there.
About two hours later, Jeremy strolled through the door with some woman, both of them obviously drunk. Although unsettling, it did not deter me from my course. I stood up to face him, smiling pleasantly.
He froze. He was not expecting to ever see me again, apparently. "Chione."
"That's right… now, if your… lady… will excuse us, I think we have a score to settle." I said coldly, looking straight through his eyes. He was afraid, and I knew it. He knew I knew it. He told his lady friend to leave the apartment, which she did, and he stepped toward me.
"Hello, Chione." He said, as though he thought words could make me forget my purpose for being here.
"Jeremy." I felt for my pistol. His pistol. The one he had used to kill Eric all those years ago. "I believe you know why I'm here."
"That I do," he said. Well, at least he wasn't going to play dumb, but judging by his stance, facial expression, and icy tone, I could tell he was not going to go without a fight. "But tell me one thing, Chione." He said.
"Yes?" I asked, careful to keep out of his arm's reach.
"Why, after so many years, do you want to come settle this now?"
"Because I couldn't do it while you were in prison, could I?" I asked, though I was sure he knew that much, so what was he saying?
"I mean," he said, stepping toward me, "why do you still want to avenge the death of such a sorry loser like Eric ?"
This set me off. I swung at Jeremy, my fist connecting with his jaw, causing his head to turn. He turned back at me and there was a difference in his facial expression. He was smiling more now. I had done exactly what he had wanted me to do. But I didn't care. I swung again, which threw him off guard. Not at his face this time, I hit him in the stomach. He fell to the ground, automatically swinging his foot around to meet my ankle. I fell to the ground, giving him the advantage. He sat up and tried to stand, but I took his leg and threw him to the floor. He sat up again and faced me. He was going to try not to hit a girl, which was not in his nature. I wondered what he was thinking about. Just then, he threw me to the floor, standing up and stepping on my ribs. He began talking, putting more weight on my ribs with every word.
"Now I know I hurt you that night, and I know you may never forgive me, but if its any consolation to you, Chione, you sure did make my life better."
"Oh… really?" I asked, "How… is that?" He didn't answer. Instead, he stepped harder on my ribs. I heard a crack; I was in a world of pain. It felt like my lungs had been shot with an arrow. He lifted his foot. Big mistake. I took his ankle and threw him across the room.
"You've become a much stronger lady than the little girl I remember," he said, trying to appear manly, I assumed.
"A lot has changed," I said. Then I ran at him, but he stopped me and held me in a standing position, about six inches from the floor. He set me down and reached for my thigh. That disgusting, perverted…. Then I remembered: my gun was there… he must have seen it. He grabbed the gun.
"Well, well, what have we here?" He mocked, "a gun… oh, no, but not just any old gun… the gun I used to kill your dearest Eric… how sweet… revenge with the very weapon that condemned me…" He laughed and twirled the gun about, giving m the chance to attack. I dove at him causing him to lose balance, and tackled him to the floor. He still had the gun, though. So when I tackled him, he shot. One shot gone. Damn. Wasted. It wasn't until about five seconds later that I realized he had shot me. A pool of blood began growing around me. He laughed, throwing the gun at me. It landed inches from my hand.
"Last shot… gone…" He said giddily, "And now… you die too…" he had forgotten there was one shot left. I seized the gun and shot blindly at his now blurry shape. His large silhouette fell to the ground in a heap. He got up, walked to the window, and sat down on a chair. "You…" his breathing was becoming strained and heavy. I sat up, a terrible pain in my stomach. I looked down and not until then had I realized that he had shot me in the stomach. I knew I was going to die, so I walked out the door, not worrying about Jeremy. He would die too. I put on a big black trench coat I had found by his door and walked across the street to the cemetery. I found Eric's grave and slumped down on the headstone. A cross shape, about four feet high. I sat there, praying for my death to be quick.
Switch to third person P.O.V.
Chione sat against the cool headstone, feeling the coldness of it against her cheek, when a shadow startled her. She looked up and saw a tall, dark silhouette standing above her. "Jeremy…" she spat, ready to finish whatever the gun hadn't. The figure shook his head. Chione looked at him, trying to figure out who he was. Then she looked at what he was wearing. A jacket, she could see, made of leather. Black pants… with loops and big pockets all over them… "Eric…?" she whispered, hardly able to breathe now.
"Yes, Chione." He said. It was Eric. He was there, in front of her, as beautiful as he had been five years ago. Exactly as she had remembered.
"Eric…" she said, but he knelt down and hushed her.
"Listen to me, Chione. You're going to…"
"Die…?" she guessed.
"No, you're going to live." He smiled.
For some reason this was bad news to her. She had nothing to live for. She had just killed a man; no doubt the police were out already, trying to find her. Why was she not going to die? She had been shot and she was bleeding profusely. "Eric, I… I don't understand, I've been…"
"I know, but you'll be okay." He smiled again, "you're not hurt anymore."
"Yes I am," she said, puzzled.
"Look," he said, pointing to her stomach where the bullet had been. There was no wound. Just a hole in her dress where she had been shot.
"Eric, I… I don't want to live… A life without you is… Has been… Unbearable…"
"I know. And I love you, but you have done what you wanted to do. Now you can have your life back."
"But I don't want my life back I ant you back," she was sobbing now, just as bitterly as she had the night he died. It was his death all over again. There he was, clear as day, within arms' reach, saying that she would have to live without him for the rest of her life without him.
He held her in his arms, the very same way he had when he picked her up the fateful Halloween night five years ago. "I know you want to be with me, and I want to be with you, but your time is not now. You have a whole life ahead of you. go live it to the fullest. I will be here when your time does come. Always remember that I love you, Chione. And I will see you soon, I promise."
Chione was crying, begging silently for this to be a dream, for her to be dying and for her to be with Eric now, but it wasn't a dream. She knew that. "I love you," she said, and kissed him one last time.
"I love you, too, Chi, now go live, and I will be here. Always." And with that, he disappeared in her arms. She walked home, crying generously, and thinking of the time they discussed their future for the first time…
"How do you feel?"
"I don't really know. All I know is that you're the only thing keeping me alive sometimes. When the world seems like it's against me, when everything's going wrong, I always know I'll have you."
"Me too."
"Yeah?"
"…Yeah…"