A/N: I'm glad you guys are enjoying my story!
QUICK NOTE: I think there was a problem with the last chapter. Cuz when I went on it to check it it came out alright, there was an odd part...it skipped from Suze and Rose going down the ladder right to the scene where they've already come back from the dungeons, completely skipping the scene where Suze finds Jesse's cell! I don't know itf anybody else experienced this problem, but I reposted that chapter, so the problem should be fixed if you did. So you may want to check back, cuz you may have missed a big, important section of chapter 2.
Rebirth-Chapter 3
A million different things to say, perfect for this situation, raced through my head. Famous phrases, statements from my heart, tear-jerking recounts of how much I've missed and loved him since his "death". But for some reason, my mouth wasn't functioning properly, and all that came out was, "Oh."
Ok, Susannah Simon, how lame can you get? I mean… Oh. OH! Now what the hell is Jesse thinking?
Jesse nodded, like he was agreeing with me on something. "Oh to you, too."
I could have laughed. I could have cried. I could have leaped into his arms. But I did neither. Because though the grin was gone, his eyes still had that angry look in them. It was disconcerting, to say the least. I took a quick moment to do a once over of his face, since that's all I could see of him right now. He looked…more rugged, somehow. His face more angular, more confident…and the way his gaze was boring into me only added to his dark appeal.
For a moment we just stood there staring at each other. Then Jesse went, "So, is that all you're going to say to me, querida?"
He said 'querida' mockingly, sarcastically. The love was gone from the word.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Well, what was with that stupid Keeper act? You and your breathing…freaking the hell out of me…" I continued muttering darkly under my breath, until I was interrupted by a very welcome sound.
Jesse let out a bark of laughter, and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me into him. Even through the heavy leather, I could feel his muscles. So hard and masculine.
"Susannah," he said, eyes amused, "I was just playing a little game…" He reached up a hand and gently pushed a stray lock of hair out of my eyes. "…with your mind…"
I shuddered. If he felt it, he gave no sign that he had. Unless you could count tightening his grasp on me as a sign. And not in a comforting way, mind you.
"Why…" I swallowed, breathing quickening beneath his still savage stare. This moment was not going the way I had always seen it. "Why were you messing with Rose's mind? What did she ever do to you, Jesse?" My tone was cold and defiant.
Jesse immediately loosened his grip on me, and scowled at me. "His daughter," he said sullenly.
"Yes, and she can't help that," I said in clipped tones.
"But you could have," Jesse said pointedly.
"How?"
Jesse was silent. He stared at me with blank, dead eyes. Never had his eyes been that way…even when he was "expressionless"…his eyes had never been quite so empty and cold. That, in itself, was an expression of the unfathomable tortures he must have endured.
After a tense moment of each of us daring the other to say something, Jesse's face cracked into a smile. A genuine-looking smile, but who knew.
"We've been separated for a long time, Susannah. Are we going to jumpstart our relationship with a fight?"
Relationship?
"Um-" I managed to get out before Jesse's smile went evil on me again, and he started backing me up, arms tightening around me, towards the bed. Panic rising…not because of what I could only guess he was intending to do with me, but because of the truly angry joy I saw on his face, just like the dream, like he was reveling in my fear.
"What are you-"
But he pushed me roughly onto the bed. Before I could sit up and protest, he was straddling me, holding my wrists down, grinning at me from his superior position. His cloak had fallen open a little near the top, just enough to let me see that he wasn't wearing a shirt, and to reveal a few black feathers near his shoulders, where his wings were tucked tightly at his back. I hoped to God that he was at least wearing something over the lower half of his body. He leaned over until we were nose to nose.
"Why, I'm jumpstarting our relationship, your Highness. Might as well start out with a bang, eh?" He chuckled evilly.
"Jesse, I don't want to do this," I said, not bothering to struggle or anything, but facing him point-blank and telling him bluntly. "…not like this."
"Then how? Against the wall?" And he lifted me by the arms, and slammed me up against the wall. Not painfully, but just enough to jar my senses a little. Still holding my wrists above my head.
Ok…this was scary.
"Jesse, why are you angry at me? What did I do!" I wailed pitifully. I didn't care that I sounded whiny. This was just so totally wrong. So wrong.
"You f*ucked him," Jesse hissed. "And…you enjoyed it."
I shut my eyes, numbly shocked at the bluntness of his words. "I didn't-"
He pushed his body onto mine, so I was completely sandwiched between him and the wall, squeezed uncomfortably.
"Yes, you did," I heard him breathe into my face. His breath was hot and almost burned. Then he nuzzled his nose against my cheek, and whispered quietly, almost lovingly, "*Whore."
I whimpered pathetically, and the tears finally fell from my eyes. I sobbed loudly, trying to hold it in, not wanting to give him the pleasure…but I was bawling my eyes out a second later. Because of what he said…and because of what could have been, and what was.
Jesse pulled me away from the wall, into him, again…let me lean against him, crying and sobbing into his shoulder, not knowing why, since he was the one who made me cry to begin with. I hadn't cried this hard, since…
He was rubbing his hands soothingly over my back, massaging gently through the sheer material. "Shhh…" he said gently. "That's right…cry out the pain…"
Cry out the pain? CRY OUT THE PAIN?????
Then I felt him slowly entering…my mind. Feeling around carefully, poking at memories, examining thoughts. It was like being raped.
I shuddered and pulled away from him angrily, holding my arms around myself to ward away the chill. "You-" I began, but there was a knock at the door.
I gasped, looked around quickly, spotted the walk-in closet, and headed for it, grabbing Jesse's arm and pulling him along. I opened the door, and shoved him in. "Stay still and shut up," I said coldly. "Unless you want to go back to that tiny room," I added for effect.
Jesse didn't say a word, watching me with an inscrutable gaze. I slammed the door in his face.
"Why oh why did I ever fall in love with that guy?" I muttered to myself as I flopped onto the bed, and curled into a ball.
"Come in," I said in a voice heavy with sadness.
I heard the door open, but since I was facing away from it, I didn't know who it was until he spoke.
"Suze?" came Paul's voice.
There was a slight rustle from the closet, but before Paul could think of investigating, I let out a loud sob, and sat up to face him. Paul's eyes widened in concern in seeing my red eyes, so obviously having been crying recently. "Suze…what…"
I ran into his arms, drawing him into a huge bear hug. "Oh, Paul…I was so worried!" I wailed loudly, pouring it on as thick as I could.
"Oh," Paul said with a smile. He wrapped his arms around me protectively…much more lovingly then Jesse had done a minute ago.
For a moment…one horrible moment of burning anger…I thought of turning him in.
Calm down, Suze…the guy hugging you right now? Yeah-he's the one that totally corrupted Jesse. It's all Paul's fault…
"Don't worry, Suze," Paul said gently. "We'll catch him, nothing will happen to you, or…" He lifted his head then, and looked around. "Where's Rose?" he asked.
Thinking quickly… "That's just it, Paul! She didn't know about the dangerous man loose in the castle, and she ran out while I was taking a nap…"
I watched in satisfaction as Paul's eyes widened in panic. "Where's Bonnie?"
"Apparently," I went on, spinning lies quickly in my head, "Rose sent Bonnie out for milk, and that's when she got out. I told her last week about how breaking the Keepers' masks kill them, you know, in case one ever went mad and attacked her or something, so that must be the only explanation as to how she got past them…Bonnie's out looking for her now." I sobbed again. "But-oh, Paul-I'm so scared!"
Paul swept me up, and placed me carefully on the bed. "Don't worry," he said, like a knight in shining armor. "I'll send up two more Keepers. And I will find our daughter."
He kissed me chastely on the forehead, and turned around and left the room. I just lied there on my back for a second. Then I said in monotone, "Come out."
The closet doors burst open, and Jesse came stumbling out, looking annoyed. He muttered something in Spanish that I couldn't quite catch, and couldn't quite care less.
Still staring at the ceiling, I continued in my flat voice, "Get out, Jesse. Get out of my room, and get out of my life. I never want to see you again."
The moment he left, I was going to start crying hysterically.
There was a moment's silence, then footsteps coming towards me. He stood beside the bed, then kneeled on the floor, so we were almost eye-level. But I refused to look at him. I could feel him watching me. Seeing into me.
"He told you I was dead," Jesse said quietly.
"Of course he did," I said tonelessly.
"He raped you," Jesse said, "the night Rose was conceived."
"Thanks for reminding me," I said, not letting the hurt crawl into my voice.
"You cried for me…" There was a long pause. "I might have jumped to conclusions," Jesse said finally.
"You've forgotten, Jesse," I whispered.
"I've forgotten what, Susannah?"
I turned towards him slowly, and I almost cried out as my heart twisted at the absolute indifference in his face.
"You forgotten…" I lifted my left hand, and held it in front of his face. "…us."
Jesse's eyes focused on the ring on my finger. His brows rose in recognition. He stared at it a moment longer, then said coldly, "What a pretty piece of jewelry."
"You know damn well what that is," I said, my voice cracking. I pulled the ring off my finger, picked up Jesse's hand, and pressed it into his palm. "I don't want it anymore," I said icily, and I turned away from him.
If that was really hurt that I had seen play over his face, I didn't care.
"Susannah-" he began.
"I believe I told you to get out, Jesse," I said.
"I refuse to leave until I've said what I came here to say."
"Well, here's what I have to say, you egotistical bastard," I said.
And I sat up, and screamed.
******************************************
I was seconds away…from begging her forgiveness. All this time, I thought she hadn't cared, that she had used me…but then I realized I was just being stupid. I knew Susannah well enough to know she would never be that low. And this was the same girl I once knew…only more matured, and much more beautiful. I had seen into her mind, and she was as tormented as me.
Seconds away from asking her to leave the castle with me, to run away from this awful place, and take her daughter if she wished…
I don't know why I reacted so coldly to the engagement ring. Maybe because it brought back so many bad memories. But I shouldn't make excuses for the way I treated her. There is no excuse.
And maybe I kind of deserved it when she screamed. An ear-splitting sound, full of rage and sadness, reaching into my chest and twisting my heart. For a moment, I was in love with her again. I wanted to take her in my arms, cradle her like a child, comfort her, tell her how I felt, make her forget the darkness in my heart.
But then the door swung open, and my blood ran cold as two tall, robed figures, masks laughing at me, glided in.
I could have destroyed them. It was so easy. I could have shattered both masks with a flick of my wrists, then taken off. But the strength seemed to have left me. It was still there, I just…didn't feel like using it. Didn't feel like living anymore.
I looked back down at Susannah, who was staring at me miserably, looking like she hated herself. I gave her a glare that momentarily paused her shuddering sobs, then I slowly stood up to face the Keepers. The ring was still clutched in my hand, I realized. Should I keep it? Throw it on the floor and spit on it?
That was when I felt her delicate hands around mine. Around the one holding the ring. She was looking at me with so much sorrow, I almost smiled. Almost.
"I-I'm so sorry…" she whispered. "I'm an idiot…"
"Yes you are," I said, and I pulled my hand away from hers. She fell back onto the bed with a sob, where she turned away, curled up in a pathetic little ball.
Good. No remorse.
It was then that I felt the Keeper's strong grips on me. They grabbed each of my arms, pulling me forward roughly, and I followed without struggle. What was the use? If it wasn't them, it would eventually be the little bastard himself. They had their ways, and it wouldn't matter how strong I was when it was me versus millions of demons…like last time.
But…why did I feel so weak? Like I just didn't care about escaping anymore? It had been all I could think about, before I came to this room…now, I can't think of anything.
So empty inside. A void.
Was it because of her? God, I hate her. Next time, if ever, we meet, I swear I'll kill her. And her little brat, too. Well, maybe I'll spare the brat. I won't spare Susannah, though. Or…maybe I'll just maim her. Or, break a bone. Um…ok, how about I settle for just pulling her mind apart, and destroying her emotionally. That wouldn't be hard at all.
As I was thinking this, the Keepers had already pulled me out of the room, and I realized I was still tightly clutching the ring. Oh, well…I guess I'll just hold onto it.
I was dragged through the familiar hallways, to the dungeon door, through the room of howling prisoners (I knew them well…most of them expressed their remorse at my not escaping. They were good people.), and back down the ladder.
It was when we finally touched down on the familiar tiny room that I realized something was definitely wrong.
There was no one here. No one waiting to tranquilize me, and throw me into the prison. The little bastard wasn't here. The guard demons. The High Keepers. Nobody. Just me and these…Keepers?
"What's going on?" I said as they both let go of me.
One of them pulled down their hood, and unceremoniously pulled off the mask. No…no. An illusion. It couldn't be…
"F-Father-Dom-" I stammered out.
He smiled and put a hand on my shoulder. "It's good to see you again, Jesse."
I couldn't believe. I just couldn't. It was like I was in the Twilight Zone. It became even stranger when the other "Keeper" took off the mask. I squinted at the girl. She seemed so familiar…long, blonde, almost white hair…very white skin…bright, purplish eyes…
"You're…Susannah's friend," I said finally.
She grabbed my hand and shook it enthusiastically. "The name's Cee Cee," she said, her face straight and businesslike.
"Oh," I said weakly. I looked from one to another…Father Dominic looking no older than the last time I had seen him, and Susannah's friend looking…quite beautiful, actually…in complete and utter disbelief. "This is a dream," I concluded finally.
Father Dominic chuckled warmly. "No, Jesse…we've been planning to get you out for a while now, ever since we found out you were still alive."
The girl-Cee Cee-had walked to a corner of the room, and was now feeling around on the ground, as if looking for something.
"What's going on? You're…getting me out?"
Father Dominic nodded. "Yes, everything will be explained later. Right now, though, we have to get out of here as quickly as possible."
Cee Cee apparently found what she was looking for, and pulled up, revealing yet another trap door. This one apparently hidden, even from the little bastard.
"All aboard," she said with a smile, and she began climbing down.
Father Dominic gave me a gentle push from behind, towards the door.
"Wait," I said, turning to face him. "You're a priest, and I'm a demon. This doesn't make any sense." I stepped away from him slightly.
Father Dominic's eyes were lit with good humor. "Well, I've come to accept certain things, Jesse. The existence of things that I had previously thought impossible. I've gone through…a transformation, if you will." He looked thoughtful, then said, "I might as well tell you the basics, then…Cee Cee and I are two of the leading officers of a rebel army, called S.H.I.T."
I snorted. "S*hit?"
"It was Cee Cee's idea. It stands for, 'Susannah's Hell-Inspired Tirade'."
"Oh," I said weakly. "…well, then…shouldn't you be freeing Susannah?"
Father Dominic shook his head. "No…she must leave of her own free will. If we were to pull her out, she would die. It has to do with the bond she has with the Dark King."
I slowly started walking towards the trapdoor. "So…"
"There is, however, the little matter of you and Paul being…so closely connected."
"Ah, yes…how unfortunate for me," I said with a scowl, climbing down the ladder, into the darkness below.
"Oh, no…it's actually quite fortunate for you," Father Dominic said, as he began going down the ladder after me.
"How so?"
"Well…you and Paul, sharing a soul…means that you are also bonded to Susannah in much the same way as Paul."
I nearly fell off the ladder.
"In other words," he continued, oblivious of my shock, "She is as much your "wife" as Paul's."
I was suddenly aware of the ring I was still holding in my hand. Very aware.
"And you didn't look like you were treating her very nicely in there…"
"You looked like the biggest jerk in the world!" Cee Cee called up from somewhere below us. "I mean, really…all the crap she's gone through for you, and you go in there and make her cry like that…God, I really hope she gets out of there soon."
"I didn't know…" I said uncertainly, but I was rudely cut off.
"She loves you," Cee Cee said. "If you can't see that, then you're an idiot, and you don't deserve her."
I was mildly surprised by her boldness. But despite the truth of her words, I still resented Susannah…I just wasn't sure why. Anyway, it was much too late to make amends. I doubted I'd ever see her again. I probably scarred her for life.
My feet then touched solid ground. I let go of the ladder, and looked around. It was pitch black, but I could see easily. We were in a long tunnel. Cee Cee was ahead of us, feeling her way down the narrow passage.
Behind me, Father Dominic said quietly, "You shouldn't be angry at Susannah. Don't resent her for things she can't control."
I walked forward as if I couldn't hear him. I was still waiting for the guilt to come, but it just wouldn't. Was I that insensitive? Seven years ago…I would have been any woman's dream of chivalry and lovingness. But now, I was dark and unworthy. I was ashamed of myself.
"I'm done with her. Paul can have her," I said quietly.
Father Dominic said nothing.
This would be the perfect place to drop the ring and forget it. But my hand wouldn't seem to open.
Cee Cee had opened a door near the end of the tunnel. Through it, moonlight was filtering. Real moonlight. From outside.
I was free.
So why did I feel so horrible?
A/N: Well, whoever said their first meeting would be a pleasant one? Well, REVIEW...and tell me if you did get that problem with chapter 2, because it disturbed me that some of my hard work was cut out.
TTFN
QUICK NOTE: I think there was a problem with the last chapter. Cuz when I went on it to check it it came out alright, there was an odd part...it skipped from Suze and Rose going down the ladder right to the scene where they've already come back from the dungeons, completely skipping the scene where Suze finds Jesse's cell! I don't know itf anybody else experienced this problem, but I reposted that chapter, so the problem should be fixed if you did. So you may want to check back, cuz you may have missed a big, important section of chapter 2.
Rebirth-Chapter 3
A million different things to say, perfect for this situation, raced through my head. Famous phrases, statements from my heart, tear-jerking recounts of how much I've missed and loved him since his "death". But for some reason, my mouth wasn't functioning properly, and all that came out was, "Oh."
Ok, Susannah Simon, how lame can you get? I mean… Oh. OH! Now what the hell is Jesse thinking?
Jesse nodded, like he was agreeing with me on something. "Oh to you, too."
I could have laughed. I could have cried. I could have leaped into his arms. But I did neither. Because though the grin was gone, his eyes still had that angry look in them. It was disconcerting, to say the least. I took a quick moment to do a once over of his face, since that's all I could see of him right now. He looked…more rugged, somehow. His face more angular, more confident…and the way his gaze was boring into me only added to his dark appeal.
For a moment we just stood there staring at each other. Then Jesse went, "So, is that all you're going to say to me, querida?"
He said 'querida' mockingly, sarcastically. The love was gone from the word.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Well, what was with that stupid Keeper act? You and your breathing…freaking the hell out of me…" I continued muttering darkly under my breath, until I was interrupted by a very welcome sound.
Jesse let out a bark of laughter, and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me into him. Even through the heavy leather, I could feel his muscles. So hard and masculine.
"Susannah," he said, eyes amused, "I was just playing a little game…" He reached up a hand and gently pushed a stray lock of hair out of my eyes. "…with your mind…"
I shuddered. If he felt it, he gave no sign that he had. Unless you could count tightening his grasp on me as a sign. And not in a comforting way, mind you.
"Why…" I swallowed, breathing quickening beneath his still savage stare. This moment was not going the way I had always seen it. "Why were you messing with Rose's mind? What did she ever do to you, Jesse?" My tone was cold and defiant.
Jesse immediately loosened his grip on me, and scowled at me. "His daughter," he said sullenly.
"Yes, and she can't help that," I said in clipped tones.
"But you could have," Jesse said pointedly.
"How?"
Jesse was silent. He stared at me with blank, dead eyes. Never had his eyes been that way…even when he was "expressionless"…his eyes had never been quite so empty and cold. That, in itself, was an expression of the unfathomable tortures he must have endured.
After a tense moment of each of us daring the other to say something, Jesse's face cracked into a smile. A genuine-looking smile, but who knew.
"We've been separated for a long time, Susannah. Are we going to jumpstart our relationship with a fight?"
Relationship?
"Um-" I managed to get out before Jesse's smile went evil on me again, and he started backing me up, arms tightening around me, towards the bed. Panic rising…not because of what I could only guess he was intending to do with me, but because of the truly angry joy I saw on his face, just like the dream, like he was reveling in my fear.
"What are you-"
But he pushed me roughly onto the bed. Before I could sit up and protest, he was straddling me, holding my wrists down, grinning at me from his superior position. His cloak had fallen open a little near the top, just enough to let me see that he wasn't wearing a shirt, and to reveal a few black feathers near his shoulders, where his wings were tucked tightly at his back. I hoped to God that he was at least wearing something over the lower half of his body. He leaned over until we were nose to nose.
"Why, I'm jumpstarting our relationship, your Highness. Might as well start out with a bang, eh?" He chuckled evilly.
"Jesse, I don't want to do this," I said, not bothering to struggle or anything, but facing him point-blank and telling him bluntly. "…not like this."
"Then how? Against the wall?" And he lifted me by the arms, and slammed me up against the wall. Not painfully, but just enough to jar my senses a little. Still holding my wrists above my head.
Ok…this was scary.
"Jesse, why are you angry at me? What did I do!" I wailed pitifully. I didn't care that I sounded whiny. This was just so totally wrong. So wrong.
"You f*ucked him," Jesse hissed. "And…you enjoyed it."
I shut my eyes, numbly shocked at the bluntness of his words. "I didn't-"
He pushed his body onto mine, so I was completely sandwiched between him and the wall, squeezed uncomfortably.
"Yes, you did," I heard him breathe into my face. His breath was hot and almost burned. Then he nuzzled his nose against my cheek, and whispered quietly, almost lovingly, "*Whore."
I whimpered pathetically, and the tears finally fell from my eyes. I sobbed loudly, trying to hold it in, not wanting to give him the pleasure…but I was bawling my eyes out a second later. Because of what he said…and because of what could have been, and what was.
Jesse pulled me away from the wall, into him, again…let me lean against him, crying and sobbing into his shoulder, not knowing why, since he was the one who made me cry to begin with. I hadn't cried this hard, since…
He was rubbing his hands soothingly over my back, massaging gently through the sheer material. "Shhh…" he said gently. "That's right…cry out the pain…"
Cry out the pain? CRY OUT THE PAIN?????
Then I felt him slowly entering…my mind. Feeling around carefully, poking at memories, examining thoughts. It was like being raped.
I shuddered and pulled away from him angrily, holding my arms around myself to ward away the chill. "You-" I began, but there was a knock at the door.
I gasped, looked around quickly, spotted the walk-in closet, and headed for it, grabbing Jesse's arm and pulling him along. I opened the door, and shoved him in. "Stay still and shut up," I said coldly. "Unless you want to go back to that tiny room," I added for effect.
Jesse didn't say a word, watching me with an inscrutable gaze. I slammed the door in his face.
"Why oh why did I ever fall in love with that guy?" I muttered to myself as I flopped onto the bed, and curled into a ball.
"Come in," I said in a voice heavy with sadness.
I heard the door open, but since I was facing away from it, I didn't know who it was until he spoke.
"Suze?" came Paul's voice.
There was a slight rustle from the closet, but before Paul could think of investigating, I let out a loud sob, and sat up to face him. Paul's eyes widened in concern in seeing my red eyes, so obviously having been crying recently. "Suze…what…"
I ran into his arms, drawing him into a huge bear hug. "Oh, Paul…I was so worried!" I wailed loudly, pouring it on as thick as I could.
"Oh," Paul said with a smile. He wrapped his arms around me protectively…much more lovingly then Jesse had done a minute ago.
For a moment…one horrible moment of burning anger…I thought of turning him in.
Calm down, Suze…the guy hugging you right now? Yeah-he's the one that totally corrupted Jesse. It's all Paul's fault…
"Don't worry, Suze," Paul said gently. "We'll catch him, nothing will happen to you, or…" He lifted his head then, and looked around. "Where's Rose?" he asked.
Thinking quickly… "That's just it, Paul! She didn't know about the dangerous man loose in the castle, and she ran out while I was taking a nap…"
I watched in satisfaction as Paul's eyes widened in panic. "Where's Bonnie?"
"Apparently," I went on, spinning lies quickly in my head, "Rose sent Bonnie out for milk, and that's when she got out. I told her last week about how breaking the Keepers' masks kill them, you know, in case one ever went mad and attacked her or something, so that must be the only explanation as to how she got past them…Bonnie's out looking for her now." I sobbed again. "But-oh, Paul-I'm so scared!"
Paul swept me up, and placed me carefully on the bed. "Don't worry," he said, like a knight in shining armor. "I'll send up two more Keepers. And I will find our daughter."
He kissed me chastely on the forehead, and turned around and left the room. I just lied there on my back for a second. Then I said in monotone, "Come out."
The closet doors burst open, and Jesse came stumbling out, looking annoyed. He muttered something in Spanish that I couldn't quite catch, and couldn't quite care less.
Still staring at the ceiling, I continued in my flat voice, "Get out, Jesse. Get out of my room, and get out of my life. I never want to see you again."
The moment he left, I was going to start crying hysterically.
There was a moment's silence, then footsteps coming towards me. He stood beside the bed, then kneeled on the floor, so we were almost eye-level. But I refused to look at him. I could feel him watching me. Seeing into me.
"He told you I was dead," Jesse said quietly.
"Of course he did," I said tonelessly.
"He raped you," Jesse said, "the night Rose was conceived."
"Thanks for reminding me," I said, not letting the hurt crawl into my voice.
"You cried for me…" There was a long pause. "I might have jumped to conclusions," Jesse said finally.
"You've forgotten, Jesse," I whispered.
"I've forgotten what, Susannah?"
I turned towards him slowly, and I almost cried out as my heart twisted at the absolute indifference in his face.
"You forgotten…" I lifted my left hand, and held it in front of his face. "…us."
Jesse's eyes focused on the ring on my finger. His brows rose in recognition. He stared at it a moment longer, then said coldly, "What a pretty piece of jewelry."
"You know damn well what that is," I said, my voice cracking. I pulled the ring off my finger, picked up Jesse's hand, and pressed it into his palm. "I don't want it anymore," I said icily, and I turned away from him.
If that was really hurt that I had seen play over his face, I didn't care.
"Susannah-" he began.
"I believe I told you to get out, Jesse," I said.
"I refuse to leave until I've said what I came here to say."
"Well, here's what I have to say, you egotistical bastard," I said.
And I sat up, and screamed.
******************************************
I was seconds away…from begging her forgiveness. All this time, I thought she hadn't cared, that she had used me…but then I realized I was just being stupid. I knew Susannah well enough to know she would never be that low. And this was the same girl I once knew…only more matured, and much more beautiful. I had seen into her mind, and she was as tormented as me.
Seconds away from asking her to leave the castle with me, to run away from this awful place, and take her daughter if she wished…
I don't know why I reacted so coldly to the engagement ring. Maybe because it brought back so many bad memories. But I shouldn't make excuses for the way I treated her. There is no excuse.
And maybe I kind of deserved it when she screamed. An ear-splitting sound, full of rage and sadness, reaching into my chest and twisting my heart. For a moment, I was in love with her again. I wanted to take her in my arms, cradle her like a child, comfort her, tell her how I felt, make her forget the darkness in my heart.
But then the door swung open, and my blood ran cold as two tall, robed figures, masks laughing at me, glided in.
I could have destroyed them. It was so easy. I could have shattered both masks with a flick of my wrists, then taken off. But the strength seemed to have left me. It was still there, I just…didn't feel like using it. Didn't feel like living anymore.
I looked back down at Susannah, who was staring at me miserably, looking like she hated herself. I gave her a glare that momentarily paused her shuddering sobs, then I slowly stood up to face the Keepers. The ring was still clutched in my hand, I realized. Should I keep it? Throw it on the floor and spit on it?
That was when I felt her delicate hands around mine. Around the one holding the ring. She was looking at me with so much sorrow, I almost smiled. Almost.
"I-I'm so sorry…" she whispered. "I'm an idiot…"
"Yes you are," I said, and I pulled my hand away from hers. She fell back onto the bed with a sob, where she turned away, curled up in a pathetic little ball.
Good. No remorse.
It was then that I felt the Keeper's strong grips on me. They grabbed each of my arms, pulling me forward roughly, and I followed without struggle. What was the use? If it wasn't them, it would eventually be the little bastard himself. They had their ways, and it wouldn't matter how strong I was when it was me versus millions of demons…like last time.
But…why did I feel so weak? Like I just didn't care about escaping anymore? It had been all I could think about, before I came to this room…now, I can't think of anything.
So empty inside. A void.
Was it because of her? God, I hate her. Next time, if ever, we meet, I swear I'll kill her. And her little brat, too. Well, maybe I'll spare the brat. I won't spare Susannah, though. Or…maybe I'll just maim her. Or, break a bone. Um…ok, how about I settle for just pulling her mind apart, and destroying her emotionally. That wouldn't be hard at all.
As I was thinking this, the Keepers had already pulled me out of the room, and I realized I was still tightly clutching the ring. Oh, well…I guess I'll just hold onto it.
I was dragged through the familiar hallways, to the dungeon door, through the room of howling prisoners (I knew them well…most of them expressed their remorse at my not escaping. They were good people.), and back down the ladder.
It was when we finally touched down on the familiar tiny room that I realized something was definitely wrong.
There was no one here. No one waiting to tranquilize me, and throw me into the prison. The little bastard wasn't here. The guard demons. The High Keepers. Nobody. Just me and these…Keepers?
"What's going on?" I said as they both let go of me.
One of them pulled down their hood, and unceremoniously pulled off the mask. No…no. An illusion. It couldn't be…
"F-Father-Dom-" I stammered out.
He smiled and put a hand on my shoulder. "It's good to see you again, Jesse."
I couldn't believe. I just couldn't. It was like I was in the Twilight Zone. It became even stranger when the other "Keeper" took off the mask. I squinted at the girl. She seemed so familiar…long, blonde, almost white hair…very white skin…bright, purplish eyes…
"You're…Susannah's friend," I said finally.
She grabbed my hand and shook it enthusiastically. "The name's Cee Cee," she said, her face straight and businesslike.
"Oh," I said weakly. I looked from one to another…Father Dominic looking no older than the last time I had seen him, and Susannah's friend looking…quite beautiful, actually…in complete and utter disbelief. "This is a dream," I concluded finally.
Father Dominic chuckled warmly. "No, Jesse…we've been planning to get you out for a while now, ever since we found out you were still alive."
The girl-Cee Cee-had walked to a corner of the room, and was now feeling around on the ground, as if looking for something.
"What's going on? You're…getting me out?"
Father Dominic nodded. "Yes, everything will be explained later. Right now, though, we have to get out of here as quickly as possible."
Cee Cee apparently found what she was looking for, and pulled up, revealing yet another trap door. This one apparently hidden, even from the little bastard.
"All aboard," she said with a smile, and she began climbing down.
Father Dominic gave me a gentle push from behind, towards the door.
"Wait," I said, turning to face him. "You're a priest, and I'm a demon. This doesn't make any sense." I stepped away from him slightly.
Father Dominic's eyes were lit with good humor. "Well, I've come to accept certain things, Jesse. The existence of things that I had previously thought impossible. I've gone through…a transformation, if you will." He looked thoughtful, then said, "I might as well tell you the basics, then…Cee Cee and I are two of the leading officers of a rebel army, called S.H.I.T."
I snorted. "S*hit?"
"It was Cee Cee's idea. It stands for, 'Susannah's Hell-Inspired Tirade'."
"Oh," I said weakly. "…well, then…shouldn't you be freeing Susannah?"
Father Dominic shook his head. "No…she must leave of her own free will. If we were to pull her out, she would die. It has to do with the bond she has with the Dark King."
I slowly started walking towards the trapdoor. "So…"
"There is, however, the little matter of you and Paul being…so closely connected."
"Ah, yes…how unfortunate for me," I said with a scowl, climbing down the ladder, into the darkness below.
"Oh, no…it's actually quite fortunate for you," Father Dominic said, as he began going down the ladder after me.
"How so?"
"Well…you and Paul, sharing a soul…means that you are also bonded to Susannah in much the same way as Paul."
I nearly fell off the ladder.
"In other words," he continued, oblivious of my shock, "She is as much your "wife" as Paul's."
I was suddenly aware of the ring I was still holding in my hand. Very aware.
"And you didn't look like you were treating her very nicely in there…"
"You looked like the biggest jerk in the world!" Cee Cee called up from somewhere below us. "I mean, really…all the crap she's gone through for you, and you go in there and make her cry like that…God, I really hope she gets out of there soon."
"I didn't know…" I said uncertainly, but I was rudely cut off.
"She loves you," Cee Cee said. "If you can't see that, then you're an idiot, and you don't deserve her."
I was mildly surprised by her boldness. But despite the truth of her words, I still resented Susannah…I just wasn't sure why. Anyway, it was much too late to make amends. I doubted I'd ever see her again. I probably scarred her for life.
My feet then touched solid ground. I let go of the ladder, and looked around. It was pitch black, but I could see easily. We were in a long tunnel. Cee Cee was ahead of us, feeling her way down the narrow passage.
Behind me, Father Dominic said quietly, "You shouldn't be angry at Susannah. Don't resent her for things she can't control."
I walked forward as if I couldn't hear him. I was still waiting for the guilt to come, but it just wouldn't. Was I that insensitive? Seven years ago…I would have been any woman's dream of chivalry and lovingness. But now, I was dark and unworthy. I was ashamed of myself.
"I'm done with her. Paul can have her," I said quietly.
Father Dominic said nothing.
This would be the perfect place to drop the ring and forget it. But my hand wouldn't seem to open.
Cee Cee had opened a door near the end of the tunnel. Through it, moonlight was filtering. Real moonlight. From outside.
I was free.
So why did I feel so horrible?
A/N: Well, whoever said their first meeting would be a pleasant one? Well, REVIEW...and tell me if you did get that problem with chapter 2, because it disturbed me that some of my hard work was cut out.
TTFN