A/N: Hey, look at that! I updated in one day! I'm trying to make up the
three week wait to you guys. I really need to be more consistent, don't I?
Oh well This is the first chapter I wrote on my laptop!!!! YAY!!!!!
Rebirth--Chapter 12
Roger's Place was, predictably, packed. But not necessarily in a good way. The most exclusive club in Hell Mountain? My eyes were burning from seeing so many trashy leather bondage outfits and sexual predators at once. As soon as we stepped in, I was assaulted by the almost unbearable stench of drugs I didn't even want to think about. The music...wasn't even music. It was noise. Loud, scratchy, screaming noise that seemed to scrape at the inside of my skull.
I wanted to turn and leave. I wanted to, and I did. I mean, I would have, if I didn't bump into Jesse's chest when I did so. He was blocking the exit, and the look on his face told me he wasn't going to unblock it any time soon. He wasn't going to let me escape. He took one step down the stairs leading to the dance floor, his wings outstretched enough to draw some attention, his face set in grim lines. Another step forced me to take a step backwards, closer to the violent orgy taking place below.
I SO did not want to go in there.
Jesse kind of leaned down towards me, sliding his hands down the railing, and whisper-screamed, "You're partying like a demon tonight, Susannah."
I swallowed, gave a small, crooked smile, and turned away from him. I faced the sea of gyrating, half-clothed bodies. Black feathers were flying everywhere. I realized we were also attracting attention because my wings were the only white thing in the whole place.
"Shit," I said. But I went down, slowly, trying to keep what dignity (and clothing) I had left intact. When I took that last step down, the bodies started rubbing up against me. Bumping, rocking, grinding to the barely- distinguishable pulse of the music. Slick, hot skin left wet trails over my outfit, and I recoiled in disgust. But I only fell into more bodies, and suddenly, I was trapped in a nightmare.
A hand fell across my stomach, then suddenly wrapped itself around my waist in a steel grip. "Want me to show you a good time, angel?" a sultry, very female voice purred into my ear.
"J-Jesse?" I said, staring panicked around me, but everything was closed, black, hot. Every dancing body looked the same. "Jesse!"
Something hot and wet slid up my cheek, and I realized with a shudder that it was a tongue. More hands groped at me.
"Her wings are so beautiful..." A guy whispered in my other ear. "I want to rip them off..."
Okay. This was too much.
"I'm going to hurt whoever is holding me unless you let go of me right now," I hissed.
My only reply were some sinister snickers and even more hands sliding over me, dangerously close to forbidden territory, if ya know what I mean.
So, thoroughly pissed, I spun around sharply, shut my eyes, and, channeling my anger, I lashed out blindly at anything that might be there to hit. I smiled as I felt my knuckles connect with someone's face, and heard the sound of cartilage tearing. I could hear cartilage tearing? Whoa—I so did not want to contemplate the possible reasons behind my super-human senses. Well, I guess I'm not exactly human anyway, but still, I could never hear that before, and I've torn cartilage before, believe me.
But still, it was a nice sound.
"My dose!" somebody was shrieking in a nasally voice. "Da andel bwoke my fucking dose!"
I opened my eyes. The music hadn't stopped, but most of the dancing had. There was a small circle around me where the demons seemed suddenly afraid to tread. They stood at the edge of it, watching me with new eyes. I mean, the whole club was staring at me, even the DJ. I wasn't hard to miss.
I wasn't even sure what was so remarkable about me. I mean, I'm sure noses got broken here all the time. Hell, worse things got broken—the place is covered in lawless demons.
And yet, I must have done something special, because a male voice suddenly called out from somewhere in the crowd, "That is one rugged angel!"
"Yeah, I want one like her!" someone else said.
Suddenly they were all smiling at me and cheering, like I was some kind of celebrity or something. I was completely and utterly confused. Did they think angels couldn't hit? Did they think I would lay there and get raped? Nevertheless, as a steady chant began in my honor ("Angel! Angel! Angel!"), I couldn't help but feel...strangely welcome. I guess the way to a demon's heart is to be a bitch.
Whatever.
"Susannah!" I heard Jesse's voice call out. I turned my head towards the sound, and he was at the other end of the room, sitting at a long bar with two drinks in front of him. He saluted me with a smile.
"Bastard," I muttered as I trudged towards him. The demons parted like water to let me through, patting me on the back as I passed, still chanting. It was downright embarrassing. At least they had stopped groping me.
"They love you," Jesse said as I sat down next to him, his eyes sparkling. "I knew they wouldn't be able to resist your charm."
"Ha-freakin'-ha," I said. The chant was dying. Slowly but surely, the demons were returning to their previous business of dry-humping.
I eyed my drink. Cee-Cee's words of caution were echoing in my head. Death Eaters...
"Drink up, Susannah. If I wanted you that bad, I would just seduce you," Jesse said. He turned in his seat so he could face the dance floor, drink in hand. I managed not to blush. I was getting used to Jesse's new way of talking. But then I looked up at him and saw the way his eyes were following the frenzied movements of two...uh, "dancing" females, and I blushed anyway.
To hide this sign of my shrinking maturity, I turned towards the bar and took a sip of my drink. It stung sharply at the back of my throat, and instantly tears came to my eyes. I screwed my face and swallowed painfully. The horrible substance burned a trail down my esophagus, landing like a bomb in the pit of my stomach. I lurched forward, cradling my stomach, and took a deep breath of air. Jesse was suddenly beside me again, rubbing my back soothingly.
"There, there, querida," he said as I blinked away the tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were so weak. I'll never overestimate you again."
I shot him a glare, then looked back at the drink. It didn't look too evil. It was just sitting there in its little green glass, gleaming in the light...
...and before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed that little green glass, and threw its contents into my mouth with a resolve that could only be borne of my innate stupidity.
There was nothing at first but a faintly bitter taste. Then suddenly it exploded over me—fire burning down my throat, through my chest, and flaring down into my stomach. I rocked backwards, coughing and sputtering, flailing my arms to grab onto something. Someone grabbed both of my swinging arms, and I was held suspended, on the verge of tipping off the seat. Jesse's face floated into view, and it was like I was seeing him through a glowing, misty tunnel of light. And he was...so unbelievably beautiful...
"Susannah?"
Susannah...Susannah...Susannah...
His voice echoed in my skull like some long-forgotten dream...
"It should go away in a few seconds..."
Seconds...seconds...seconds...
He smiled, a slow spread of lips, and he was so adorable that I smiled back.
"Jesse," I said, and I thought vaguely that my voice was slurred, but didn't care much. "I don't want it to go away. I want you to be beautiful forever, to hold me forever..."
He looked down at me, suddenly serious. His hands, still gripping me, pulled me up gently so that I was safely seated once again. But the feeling was still there...fuzziness, light-headedness, and Jesse, Jesse was the only thing in the world that mattered.
"You really can't hold your liquor," he said thoughtfully.
Liquor...liquor...Jesse...
"I can hold anything you want me to hold," I said wistfully, and I fell against him. He jumped, surprised, but grabbed me so I wouldn't fall over. I giggled a little before I pressed my mouth against his, shutting my eyes and kissing him even while I still laughed and smiled.
It was just as Jesse began kissing back that the feeling of utter abandonment began to fade. My enthusiastic, drunken kiss was suddenly not as deep and careless, and a morning-after kind of feeling swam into my pounding head. But Jesse squeezed me almost desperately, and he deepened the kiss again to something that was more than it had started as. I wasn't sure what to do. I thought about pulling away, but then I realized that I had finally found my way back into Jesse's favor, and I didn't want him to hate me again, not for any reason. Not even something as stupid as a wounded ego. I thought about kissing back, the way he was kissing me, but was I ready yet for what that might lead to?
No. No, not yet. Not yet.
And yet...wasn't this what I've always wanted? For the last seven, long years, to be held in his arms again? It wasn't sex, and it wasn't love. It was just a kiss, and he wasn't biting or teasing this time.
Just a kiss.
A kiss...
So, with a sigh, I gave him my kiss. That's all I gave him. Just my kiss. But Jesse wanted more.
He pulled away from my lips, leaning his forehead against mine, and I was panting for breath. He was breathing a little faster, but not much. Damn him.
His eyes were suddenly so close, too close. The dim lighting cast shadows over those endless valleys, and I was staring into two black pits.
"Truth or Dare, Susannah," he whispered.
I didn't even know we were still playing. I was tempted to remind him that it was actually my turn. I still wanted to grill him for info on the whole Angel of Death thing. Not to mention the hypnotism. But something about his voice told me that I was deep inside now. In a place I might never get to again if I didn't take this opportunity. Funny, how I had to be drunk to get here in the first place.
So I stared into the abyss of his eyes, and said what he wanted me to say.
"Dare."
The shadows on his face shifted, and I could tell he was smiling. That scared me. Even though I knew what I was saying when I chose dare, it still scared me. Was it because the shadows turned his devastating smile into something sinister...or just because I wasn't sure I could deal with this? This whole thing, this whole mess...Jesse and Paul, Rose, demons, Hell, dead world, angel, God, moon...
Countless thoughts twisted in my gut, making me nauseous in a way liquor never could. I turned my head away from him, facing the floor. I was trembling, and a sob was suddenly torn from me. How many times would I break down in tears before there were no more tears left? How many? How many?
Jesse held me, and I was lost to everything. The date was a total failure. I came here to have fun, to enjoy myself, but I couldn't deal with my choices. Choices that I already made to bring me here, and choices that I still had to make.
One of them had to die.
One of them had to die.
And I had to choose which one.
"I can't lose it again, Jesse," I whispered against him.
He was rubbing my back again, tracing lazy circles over my skin. I could feel his contentment like a second consciousness within me. Something great and dark, imbued with potential violence, potential rage, potential sex. Paul did not feel that way. Paul had never felt so strong, so sure. He was always weak and uncertain, and that was because of me. Because I would always hate him.
My head was against his chest, buried in the soft lace of his shirt. I moved up with his chest as he sighed softly. I looked up, and he was watching the dance floor with a small smile. He looked more peaceful than I had seen him in a long, long time.
No, it was more than peace on his face. It was Jesse. The real Jesse. The Jesse that was dead and buried. The ghost had returned, adding subtle life to his eyes, his lips, his face. A ghost with life? But...that's what Jesse is. Life. If I choose Jesse, I choose life. Somehow, somewhere, things would be okay. Even if everything went wrong, and the world fell apart tomorrow, everything would be...right.
Out of nowhere, I was reminded of Rose. It was the same feeling I got when I looked at Rose. That everything would be fine, that I would make them fine, for her. Those same eyes...that same smile...there was nothing of Paul in her. None of that weakness. Only his cold, sure strength...she could be truly powerful someday of I only showed he be...?
His arms suddenly tightened around me. I looked up again, and his jaw was set, his face wary. I followed his line of vision. He was looking towards the center of the dance floor, where a particularly large orgy seemed to be taking place. I squinted to see better...they all seemed to be dancing around one person...
"Shit," I said, realizing what was happening.
"Indeed," Jesse said.
Paul. I couldn't believe it. Paul was in the center of the dance floor, grinding against hundreds of girls, letting them lick, kiss, and touch him to oblivion. In his left hand, he held a full glass of that awful liquor stuff, and his right hand...was currently down someone's shirt. He was bare- chested, staring at the ceiling, and his lips were half-parted in what I knew to be ecstasy. I'd bet anything one of the girls was sucking him off right now. Hell, why not two or three?
"Oh my God," I said, and I looked away. Jesse let me slip from his arms, and I swerved in my seat so I didn't have to see what was going on. "Oh my God, oh my God..." I leaned my forehead against the cool counter of the bar, wrapping my arms around my head, covering my ears and trying to block out the terrible noise that they called music. Pieces of my life were falling away. Big pieces.
"He knows we're here," Jesse said, a smile in his voice. "He knows, Susannah. The little bastard knows." I heard him say some stuff in Spanish. He was laughing softly as he said it, so I gather it wasn't very nice.
"I don't care, Jesse."
I sat up straight, recollecting the fallen bits of my pride, and faced the still laughing Jesse. He actually looked happy. Happy. Maybe because he figured Paul was out of the running now. Well, he kinda figured right. Paul had just lost most, if not all, of my respect.
"Truth, Jesse. I'm not giving you a choice. I want you to tell me the truth."
"But it's still my turn," he said, his eyes full of dark light. "I still haven't dared you to...do anything."
I chose to ignore the way he said that. I wasn't dealing with that now. I was angry, he was happy. It was one of those moments when we lost all compatibility.
"It was my turn anyway, Jesse. You're the one who cheated."
He shrugged gracefully. "Fine. But I get to dare you later tonight."
Once again, I chose to ignore his choice of words.
"Okay...what the hell is this Angel of Death thing?"
"Of course," he said. He took one last look out at the dance floor, and, shaking his head, turned back to me. He was smiling again, not very pleasantly. I chose to ignore that, too.
"Well, it's an old legend among the demon folk, of an angel of God that was treasured among all others. Higher that Gabriel, higher even than Lucifer before his fall from grace." He stopped to take a sip of his drink. It went down so easily for him, I was almost jealous. "Alexiel, Angel of Death. Are you sure this is what was said in your dream?"
I nodded.
"I can feel it sleeping inside of you. Enormous power. It wasn't there this morning. That's the only reason I believe you. Otherwise, I'd think you were an idiot."
I just looked at him.
"But you're not an idiot. You're Susannah Simon, never an idiot."
Was that sarcasm?
"Just tell me what you know," I demanded.
He took another sip, I think just to annoy me. His eyes never left me as he teased the straw between his lips. I was suddenly aware of the unusual situation I was in...boyfriend A was sitting next to me, performing oral sex on his drink and flirting with me, while boyfriend B was ten feet away from us, dancing with a hundred girls and having oral sex performed on him in a lame attempt to make me jealous. But of course, I was technically married to both of them. Ah, the joys of my life.
Jesse finally cleared his throat importantly. He looked like he was enjoying himself. At least one of us was.
"Okay...Angel of Death, held above all other angels in God's eyes, blah blah...well, the way the story goes, she was in love with Lucifer before his rebellion against God. When he gathered his army of angels, he pleaded with Alexiel to come with him, to help him defeat God. She refused. So, Lucifer took his army against God, lost, and was cast down into Hell. These fallen angels were the first demons, and Lucifer was the first demon king. All others are descended from him."
"So...you've got a piece of Satan in you, and so does Paul. This so figures."
"You cannot inherit evil, Susannah, only madness. Evil is taught."
"Whatever. Is that the end of the story?"
He took another sip of his drink, and stared out at the sea of dancing demons as he spoke. For the first time, I wondered if he cared at all. I wondered if he looked out at these creatures, and thought, "These are my people." If he did, then I felt truly sorry for him. Because then he was very, very alone in this world.
"No, Susannah. Unbeknownst to God, Lucifer, or even Alexiel herself, she was with child. When she found out, she panicked, and offered herself to God as his bride. He accepted her. The child was born, and it was the most beautiful thing Heaven had ever seen. The child of God and Alexiel. But...but Lucifer knew. Lucifer knew it his child. But he could do nothing. Nothing."
Jesse's face was dark. There was some painful emotion playing across his face. It almost looked...like he would cry.
"Jesse?" I said, touching his arm softly.
"In the child's eighth year of life, God noticed it changing. Light was slowly leaving the child. Shadow was seeping into its once blindingly white wings. God called Alexiel to him, and forced her to confess the truth. Then, despite his great love for them both, he cast his wife and child into Hell. Alexiel went to Lucifer for refuge. But...in a great rage, he killed them both. He loved her, and his child, so much...but he killed them."
I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. He was turned away from me now, so I couldn't see his face.
"Her tormented soul begged admittance into the kingdom of Heaven, but God would not let her enter. However, she was too innocent, too pure to suffer eternity in Hell. So God trapped her soul in a human body, damning her to earth for all eternity. She wandered the earth for thousands of lifetimes, all the while gaining hatred and power, until at last God had to further contain her...so he locked her away within a mortal's soul. Here she is sentenced to remain until the end of time. But before she went, she made a promise to both God and Lucifer...that she would return before her time came, in full power, and lay waste to Heaven, Hell, and Earth. They say God fears no one. But that is wrong. God fears only one. His love, his equal, his angel. Alexiel."
He turned to face me again, and the look had passed. Now there was something akin to wonderment as he looked at me. He reached out a pale hand, slowly, to touch my face. His cool fingers skimmed along my cheek, until he reached the corner of my lips. He touched a finger to my bottom lip, and my body was suddenly tight.
"Only one," he said again. He leaned a little closer, not to kiss, but almost as if he were studying me under a microscope. "Is this you, querida? Are you the one God fears so very much?"
"It would explain the hell He's put me through," I breathed against his finger.
He laughed softly, moving even closer. Our knees touched. His finger trailed down to my chin, and crept lower, down my neck, the to the side, stopping over the jumping pulse of my jugular. I froze.
"Then I am Lucifer. I am Satan. Are you afraid of me, angel? Are you afraid I will kill you?"
His other fingers were slowly slipping over my throat, until his hand was suddenly and inexplicably around my neck. I was heavy with the knowledge that a flick of his wrist would snap my neck like a twig, and the fear that he just might do it. I looked him dead in the eye, my face as blank as his. His eyes were dark, drowning...pitiless.
"You're Jesse. Not Lucifer. Lucifer is dead. You're just Jesse."
"Are you so sure? Who do you think it was in your dream? Who do you think spoke to you?"
My breath caught in my throat. "You...you said you didn't know...you didn't know...how would you know...?"
He came closer, closing his eyes and breathing along my face. I shut my eyes against him, suddenly so confused. The darkness behind my eyelids was somehow soothing. Then he said words that froze the blood in my veins.
"Because, little Susie...I am not Jesse."
I opened my eyes with a gasp, but Jesse...or whoever...wasn't looking at me. He was staring out at the dance floor again. I craned my neck to see what he was looking at, but it was tough with his hand around my neck. I finally managed to see what he was looking at...
...Paul was standing in the middle of the dance floor, but he was no longer covered in girls. He was just standing there, glaring at us. No, glaring at Jesse. His eyes were blue, icy fire. Scary stuff, I tell you.
"Get your hand off of her neck, or I will kill you," Paul said in a quiet voice. That was when I realized the terrible music had been shut off. Thank God.
"I hold them both in the palm of my hand," came a voice from Jesse's mouth, so low only I could hear it...but it wasn't Jesse's voice. My heart jumped into my throat. That voice, that horrible, twisted voice...
"But I only need one of them." He turned to me with a smile that filled me with dread of his next words. "I think I'll kill off your dark one, so that you may be with your god in shining armor, as it was meant to be. What do you think, Alexiel?"
"Nobody will die here," I choked out. It didn't sound very convincing, but I had to say something.
"No, Alexiel, angel, little Susie, light of life...someone will die. But you are right. Not here. Not yet." He crossed the last inch between our lips, and the moment we touched, a terrible despair came over me. It felt as if all the joy, all the energy, memories, spirit, everything that made me love and breathe, was stolen away from me with that gentle kiss. I felt weak, and I had the horrible feeling the only thing holding me up was his hand around my neck. "But soon. So...very...soon."
His eyes suddenly shut, and he jolted, as if he were waking from some kind of nightmare. When his eyes opened again, they were dim and unfocused. He stared down at me like he had never seen me before for a second, then he said, "Su...Susannah?"
His eyes lowered, and his saw his own hand around my neck. For the briefest moment, I saw his eyes unbelievably wide, then he took back his hand as if my skin had burned him. I managed to stay sitting upright, despite my weakness. I could feel the same thing happening that happened earlier...I was taking energy from the demons in the room, who were all silently staring that us. I was recovering my strength at an alarming rate.
"What...what did I do?" Jesse said, and his eyes were wild, frightened. He stood up quickly, tipping his bar stool over in the process. It clattered loudly to the ground, shattering the heavy silence. He stared at me, holding the hand that had encircled my neck as though it were injured. "You're so...pale, Susannah. What have I done?"
A vast amount of energy was pouring into me. I felt stronger than I ever had before. It was almost scary. I stood, and it was a graceful fluid motion. The way Jesse always moved. Except now. Now, he was just staring at me, looking at if his strength, his confidence, was gone.
"Jesse...I'm fine. Please. Don't be that way. Be strong, like you always have been."
He looked down. "I've never been strong, Susannah. Never. You don't understand."
"No, I don't." I held out a hand to him. "Please, Jesse. Show me. Let me inside."
I watched those terribly dull eyes slide downwards, to look at my hand. He looked at it like he wasn't sure he should touch it. In that moment, it felt like someone had pushed "mute" on some universal remote control. No sound at all. Not even the sound of my own heartbeat or breathing. Complete and utter nothingness. I wasn't sure what I'd do if Jesse refused my hand. I just didn't know.
After a small, excruciating eternity, he finally did lift one hand towards mine. His eyes stayed staring at my hand, outstretched toward him, and I stared down at it...no, our hands, so close now. On a more random note, I realized we were both in dire need of a tan. Well, that would work better if there was actually a SUN to tan under...
I swear our fingers were less than an inch away, when Jesse suddenly wasn't there anymore. Just like that. One second, he was reaching for me, the next second, he was just gone. I blinked, and started whirling around in idiotic circles, searching for him.
"Jesse?!"
Then I realized that all the demons were staring upwards. I followed their line of vision, raising my eyes slowly to the ceiling...
Paul was pressing Jesse against the ceiling with the whole length of his body. He had both his hands around Jesse's neck, and he was hissing angrily in his face. Jesse was utterly unresponsive. His head had fallen forward, and Paul was holding it up with his hands. Jesse's arms hung limply at either side of Paul, dangling toward the floor. It looked rather disturbing. Like they were lying on a bed upside-down or something. Except Jesse looked entirely too dead.
I could only stare. There was nothing I could do. Nothing...
Except...
"No," I whispered. "No..." I spread my wings as wide as I could, and beat them once, hard. Too hard. I damn near crashed into the ceiling. I was hovering beneath them in less than a second. Where was all this strength coming from????
Wait...I really didn't want to know.
I looked up, at the back of Paul's head. He didn't know I was right behind him. I could catch some of what he was saying...
"Piece of shit...don't deserve her...MY queen...almost killed her..."
Jesse's hands were dangling lifeless on either side of my head. I reached up and touched them softly. Cold.
He wasn't...?
"Stop it, Paul," I said. Well, I tried to say it, but all that came out was a soft whimper.
What was wrong with Jesse???? Why was he just...hanging there????? I couldn't feel any movement as I touched his hands. No pulse as I intertwined my fingers with his. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
There was suddenly a low beat rising...slowly...speeding up...like a drum, making my blood rush faster. I thought for a wild moment that it might be Jesse's heart beating again, but then I realized the sound was in me...in my head, my chest, my throat. It was my heart, beating faster and faster. I could feel power inside me. I could practically touch that power, as if it were a living thing inside of me.
Jesse's hands slipped out of mine. He was raising his arms over his head, almost like he was reaching out for something. Relief washed over me—he was alive. He was okay. But then I noticed the fine trembling in those hands. Paul was...strangling him. Slowly, silently, strangling him.
The power burst through me at that thought, and I could hardly control what I did next. My arms reached up, seemingly of their own accord, and grabbed Paul by the shoulders.
"STOP IT PAUL!!!!"
And I ripped him away from Jesse.
He gave a strangled scream as he flew downward. I had just enough time to see Jesse's eyes half-closed as if asleep, his face chalky-white, before Paul grabbed my ankle as he fell passed me and I fell to the floor with him. He went face-first into the dance floor at break-neck speed, and I landed relatively unscathed on top of him. But it was still a painful landing.
I heard Paul give a pained moan, and I slid off of him, standing to look up at Jesse. He was still on the ceiling, as if some force was pinning him there. Only this time, his arms and outstretched wings were also pinned to the ceiling, and his head no longer drooped forward. It was like the crucifixion of some tragic, beautiful death god.
"Jesse..."
I stood staring up at Jesse, hung on the ceiling, nearly unconscious. Surrounded by the demons, the silent witnesses to this spectacle. Beside me, Paul stood with another moan, blood flowing freely from his nose and a large gash high on his forehead. He shook his wings, sending loose silken black feathers raining down on us like a morbid rain. Tears were flowing down my face. What was wrong with Jesse? What was wrong with Jesse?
"Kill the dark one..." the voice slithered up my spine like a cold hand. I spun around, but it was only Paul behind me, looking up at Jesse with a smirk.
Was it really...only Paul?
I hold them both in the palm of my hand...
Paul raised both his hands high over his head...and he whipped them downwards so fast they were a blur of motion. Jesse gave a painful gasp. I looked up, and there was blood...his hands. Jesse's hands had bloody scratches over them. I saw Paul raise his hands again from the corner of my eyes, and there was no time to stop him before he whipped them down again, and Jesse cried out. This time, I wasn't sure where he had been hit...until I saw thick blood beginning to gather at the tips of his boots. His feet. Paul was ripping Jesse apart without even touching him.
"A pale imitation, I know," Paul said, grinning triumphantly at me.
"Yeah, it is," I agreed, glaring at him. I closed the distance between us in two swift steps.
"Paul...I thought I could love you. I thought there was a chance I could feel something for you." I watched the smile slide off of his face as I spoke, and something dark and kind of hopeless set in. "I was afraid I might have to make a difficult choice. But now I don't. You've made that choice for me."
"Suze—"
"I never want to see you again after this night."
Paul's eyes widened, and his mouth kind of fell open. And he just stared at me like that, his mouth opening and closing slightly, like he was trying to say something. Something warm and wet dropped on my cheek then, and I started. It started to slide down my face, and I looked up. Jesse was still hanging there, his eyes closed. He was still alive. I could see his chest rising and falling, fast.
"Let him go."
"I'm not holding him," Paul said, his voice quiet.
I shook my head. "Whatever, Paul."
I flew up to Jesse again, this time not nearly cracking my skull open. I stopped just under him.
"...Jesse?"
He looked like he was sleeping. He was so pale! Like he was sick...dying. His lips were red, almost like they were smeared in blood...
"Jesse, please...wake up..."
I touched his face, gently. So cold! Why was he so cold? What was wrong with him? I pressed my body tight against his, against the ceiling, trying to warm him. I stretched out my arms, taking his hands in mine. Blood began to dribble back down my arms towards me, running in tiny red streams. I didn't care. I didn't care. All I wanted was for Jesse to open his eyes and say something...anything...even tell me he hated me, I don't care...just say something!
"Jesse...Jesse, you have to wake up now," I said softly. I pressed my cheek against his. "You don't understand, Jesse...I've chosen you. You. Nobody but you. I'm so sorry it took such a long time. I never thought...that this would happen." I gave a weak laugh. "I mean, I'm not even sure what just happened. Apparently we're both possessed by some ancient people who had issues thousands of years ago. Now they're making us suffer for their mistakes." I laughed again. "Fits great with everything else that's happened in my shitty life!" I laughed again. I stopped when a small sound came from Jesse. He moved his head against my cheek. His arms were suddenly heavy against mine, no longer pinned to the ceiling. I hoped I wouldn't go crashing back down if the rest of him suddenly came loose.
"Jesse," I whispered. "Jesse, live! Live for me, please? Live for...for Rose. Live for our daughter, Jesse."
There was suddenly scream from below us. Jesse's hands tightened around mine a second before there was a horrible sting at my back, like someone had slashed me knives. I didn't scream, but I sucked in a breath. My body seized up, and I began to fall back down towards the floor. His hands around mine saved me from what could have been a very painful experience.
I felt warm blood begin to seep down my back. It wasn't really hurting. Not yet. Right now it was kind of numb. Later, I knew, I would be in a lot of pain. I had to get Paul for this one.
I looked up, and met Jesse's eyes. Wide awake. Staring down at me. His face was expressionless, but those eyes...those eyes said things that words could never express.
"Are...are you okay?" I said.
"I am fine, my body is already healing the damage," he said, his voice slightly hoarse. "But what I'm about to do to Paul will not heal so easily." He paused, seemingly at a loss for words for a moment, then said, "Thank you. I cannot apologize enough for my moment of weakness when you needed my strength the most."
I smiled. He sounded so much like the old Jesse.
"I'm just glad you're alive, Jesse."
He came away from the ceiling, slowly, drawing himself against me, and we drifted gently to the floor that way, towards Paul and the ever-silent demons.
A/N: WHAT DID I DO TO THEIR DATE?!?!?! Oh, whatever, the night is still young. Good things can still happen..........hopefully..........(my fingers have a mind of their own, it's scary was they type sometimes......oO)
Anyway, I have some splendiferous news for you guys. You know how I've had major writing block since like, chapter 5 of this story? Well...............I don't anymore. Yes, my friends, my writer's block is finally dead! I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!
It happened while I was washing the dishes today. I was thinking about how upset everyone on is with me because I never update, then I was thinking about my mom should wash the dishes for a change, then I was thinking about Johnny Depp, then—BOOM—the whole story just flew into my head in a flash of inspiration. Seriously—I was dizzy from how fast it happened.
So now I know exactly where I'm going, and what's going to happen. I have regained control of my story! I am no longer writing lame random chapters of whatever I can think of at the time! Rejoice!
Okay, now that I've told you all my life story, please REVIEW!!!! No new chapter until I have...TEN REVIEWS!!! Yes, the number is getting high...but hey, I'm not making any money here! I'm dirt poor, and here I am writing when I could have a summer job!
Lol, j/k, you know I love you guys! And to whoever's still reading this piece of crap, thanks for having faith and sticking with me for so long. You guys are the reason I write! YOU ROCK!
TTFN
Rebirth--Chapter 12
Roger's Place was, predictably, packed. But not necessarily in a good way. The most exclusive club in Hell Mountain? My eyes were burning from seeing so many trashy leather bondage outfits and sexual predators at once. As soon as we stepped in, I was assaulted by the almost unbearable stench of drugs I didn't even want to think about. The music...wasn't even music. It was noise. Loud, scratchy, screaming noise that seemed to scrape at the inside of my skull.
I wanted to turn and leave. I wanted to, and I did. I mean, I would have, if I didn't bump into Jesse's chest when I did so. He was blocking the exit, and the look on his face told me he wasn't going to unblock it any time soon. He wasn't going to let me escape. He took one step down the stairs leading to the dance floor, his wings outstretched enough to draw some attention, his face set in grim lines. Another step forced me to take a step backwards, closer to the violent orgy taking place below.
I SO did not want to go in there.
Jesse kind of leaned down towards me, sliding his hands down the railing, and whisper-screamed, "You're partying like a demon tonight, Susannah."
I swallowed, gave a small, crooked smile, and turned away from him. I faced the sea of gyrating, half-clothed bodies. Black feathers were flying everywhere. I realized we were also attracting attention because my wings were the only white thing in the whole place.
"Shit," I said. But I went down, slowly, trying to keep what dignity (and clothing) I had left intact. When I took that last step down, the bodies started rubbing up against me. Bumping, rocking, grinding to the barely- distinguishable pulse of the music. Slick, hot skin left wet trails over my outfit, and I recoiled in disgust. But I only fell into more bodies, and suddenly, I was trapped in a nightmare.
A hand fell across my stomach, then suddenly wrapped itself around my waist in a steel grip. "Want me to show you a good time, angel?" a sultry, very female voice purred into my ear.
"J-Jesse?" I said, staring panicked around me, but everything was closed, black, hot. Every dancing body looked the same. "Jesse!"
Something hot and wet slid up my cheek, and I realized with a shudder that it was a tongue. More hands groped at me.
"Her wings are so beautiful..." A guy whispered in my other ear. "I want to rip them off..."
Okay. This was too much.
"I'm going to hurt whoever is holding me unless you let go of me right now," I hissed.
My only reply were some sinister snickers and even more hands sliding over me, dangerously close to forbidden territory, if ya know what I mean.
So, thoroughly pissed, I spun around sharply, shut my eyes, and, channeling my anger, I lashed out blindly at anything that might be there to hit. I smiled as I felt my knuckles connect with someone's face, and heard the sound of cartilage tearing. I could hear cartilage tearing? Whoa—I so did not want to contemplate the possible reasons behind my super-human senses. Well, I guess I'm not exactly human anyway, but still, I could never hear that before, and I've torn cartilage before, believe me.
But still, it was a nice sound.
"My dose!" somebody was shrieking in a nasally voice. "Da andel bwoke my fucking dose!"
I opened my eyes. The music hadn't stopped, but most of the dancing had. There was a small circle around me where the demons seemed suddenly afraid to tread. They stood at the edge of it, watching me with new eyes. I mean, the whole club was staring at me, even the DJ. I wasn't hard to miss.
I wasn't even sure what was so remarkable about me. I mean, I'm sure noses got broken here all the time. Hell, worse things got broken—the place is covered in lawless demons.
And yet, I must have done something special, because a male voice suddenly called out from somewhere in the crowd, "That is one rugged angel!"
"Yeah, I want one like her!" someone else said.
Suddenly they were all smiling at me and cheering, like I was some kind of celebrity or something. I was completely and utterly confused. Did they think angels couldn't hit? Did they think I would lay there and get raped? Nevertheless, as a steady chant began in my honor ("Angel! Angel! Angel!"), I couldn't help but feel...strangely welcome. I guess the way to a demon's heart is to be a bitch.
Whatever.
"Susannah!" I heard Jesse's voice call out. I turned my head towards the sound, and he was at the other end of the room, sitting at a long bar with two drinks in front of him. He saluted me with a smile.
"Bastard," I muttered as I trudged towards him. The demons parted like water to let me through, patting me on the back as I passed, still chanting. It was downright embarrassing. At least they had stopped groping me.
"They love you," Jesse said as I sat down next to him, his eyes sparkling. "I knew they wouldn't be able to resist your charm."
"Ha-freakin'-ha," I said. The chant was dying. Slowly but surely, the demons were returning to their previous business of dry-humping.
I eyed my drink. Cee-Cee's words of caution were echoing in my head. Death Eaters...
"Drink up, Susannah. If I wanted you that bad, I would just seduce you," Jesse said. He turned in his seat so he could face the dance floor, drink in hand. I managed not to blush. I was getting used to Jesse's new way of talking. But then I looked up at him and saw the way his eyes were following the frenzied movements of two...uh, "dancing" females, and I blushed anyway.
To hide this sign of my shrinking maturity, I turned towards the bar and took a sip of my drink. It stung sharply at the back of my throat, and instantly tears came to my eyes. I screwed my face and swallowed painfully. The horrible substance burned a trail down my esophagus, landing like a bomb in the pit of my stomach. I lurched forward, cradling my stomach, and took a deep breath of air. Jesse was suddenly beside me again, rubbing my back soothingly.
"There, there, querida," he said as I blinked away the tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were so weak. I'll never overestimate you again."
I shot him a glare, then looked back at the drink. It didn't look too evil. It was just sitting there in its little green glass, gleaming in the light...
...and before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed that little green glass, and threw its contents into my mouth with a resolve that could only be borne of my innate stupidity.
There was nothing at first but a faintly bitter taste. Then suddenly it exploded over me—fire burning down my throat, through my chest, and flaring down into my stomach. I rocked backwards, coughing and sputtering, flailing my arms to grab onto something. Someone grabbed both of my swinging arms, and I was held suspended, on the verge of tipping off the seat. Jesse's face floated into view, and it was like I was seeing him through a glowing, misty tunnel of light. And he was...so unbelievably beautiful...
"Susannah?"
Susannah...Susannah...Susannah...
His voice echoed in my skull like some long-forgotten dream...
"It should go away in a few seconds..."
Seconds...seconds...seconds...
He smiled, a slow spread of lips, and he was so adorable that I smiled back.
"Jesse," I said, and I thought vaguely that my voice was slurred, but didn't care much. "I don't want it to go away. I want you to be beautiful forever, to hold me forever..."
He looked down at me, suddenly serious. His hands, still gripping me, pulled me up gently so that I was safely seated once again. But the feeling was still there...fuzziness, light-headedness, and Jesse, Jesse was the only thing in the world that mattered.
"You really can't hold your liquor," he said thoughtfully.
Liquor...liquor...Jesse...
"I can hold anything you want me to hold," I said wistfully, and I fell against him. He jumped, surprised, but grabbed me so I wouldn't fall over. I giggled a little before I pressed my mouth against his, shutting my eyes and kissing him even while I still laughed and smiled.
It was just as Jesse began kissing back that the feeling of utter abandonment began to fade. My enthusiastic, drunken kiss was suddenly not as deep and careless, and a morning-after kind of feeling swam into my pounding head. But Jesse squeezed me almost desperately, and he deepened the kiss again to something that was more than it had started as. I wasn't sure what to do. I thought about pulling away, but then I realized that I had finally found my way back into Jesse's favor, and I didn't want him to hate me again, not for any reason. Not even something as stupid as a wounded ego. I thought about kissing back, the way he was kissing me, but was I ready yet for what that might lead to?
No. No, not yet. Not yet.
And yet...wasn't this what I've always wanted? For the last seven, long years, to be held in his arms again? It wasn't sex, and it wasn't love. It was just a kiss, and he wasn't biting or teasing this time.
Just a kiss.
A kiss...
So, with a sigh, I gave him my kiss. That's all I gave him. Just my kiss. But Jesse wanted more.
He pulled away from my lips, leaning his forehead against mine, and I was panting for breath. He was breathing a little faster, but not much. Damn him.
His eyes were suddenly so close, too close. The dim lighting cast shadows over those endless valleys, and I was staring into two black pits.
"Truth or Dare, Susannah," he whispered.
I didn't even know we were still playing. I was tempted to remind him that it was actually my turn. I still wanted to grill him for info on the whole Angel of Death thing. Not to mention the hypnotism. But something about his voice told me that I was deep inside now. In a place I might never get to again if I didn't take this opportunity. Funny, how I had to be drunk to get here in the first place.
So I stared into the abyss of his eyes, and said what he wanted me to say.
"Dare."
The shadows on his face shifted, and I could tell he was smiling. That scared me. Even though I knew what I was saying when I chose dare, it still scared me. Was it because the shadows turned his devastating smile into something sinister...or just because I wasn't sure I could deal with this? This whole thing, this whole mess...Jesse and Paul, Rose, demons, Hell, dead world, angel, God, moon...
Countless thoughts twisted in my gut, making me nauseous in a way liquor never could. I turned my head away from him, facing the floor. I was trembling, and a sob was suddenly torn from me. How many times would I break down in tears before there were no more tears left? How many? How many?
Jesse held me, and I was lost to everything. The date was a total failure. I came here to have fun, to enjoy myself, but I couldn't deal with my choices. Choices that I already made to bring me here, and choices that I still had to make.
One of them had to die.
One of them had to die.
And I had to choose which one.
"I can't lose it again, Jesse," I whispered against him.
He was rubbing my back again, tracing lazy circles over my skin. I could feel his contentment like a second consciousness within me. Something great and dark, imbued with potential violence, potential rage, potential sex. Paul did not feel that way. Paul had never felt so strong, so sure. He was always weak and uncertain, and that was because of me. Because I would always hate him.
My head was against his chest, buried in the soft lace of his shirt. I moved up with his chest as he sighed softly. I looked up, and he was watching the dance floor with a small smile. He looked more peaceful than I had seen him in a long, long time.
No, it was more than peace on his face. It was Jesse. The real Jesse. The Jesse that was dead and buried. The ghost had returned, adding subtle life to his eyes, his lips, his face. A ghost with life? But...that's what Jesse is. Life. If I choose Jesse, I choose life. Somehow, somewhere, things would be okay. Even if everything went wrong, and the world fell apart tomorrow, everything would be...right.
Out of nowhere, I was reminded of Rose. It was the same feeling I got when I looked at Rose. That everything would be fine, that I would make them fine, for her. Those same eyes...that same smile...there was nothing of Paul in her. None of that weakness. Only his cold, sure strength...she could be truly powerful someday of I only showed he be...?
His arms suddenly tightened around me. I looked up again, and his jaw was set, his face wary. I followed his line of vision. He was looking towards the center of the dance floor, where a particularly large orgy seemed to be taking place. I squinted to see better...they all seemed to be dancing around one person...
"Shit," I said, realizing what was happening.
"Indeed," Jesse said.
Paul. I couldn't believe it. Paul was in the center of the dance floor, grinding against hundreds of girls, letting them lick, kiss, and touch him to oblivion. In his left hand, he held a full glass of that awful liquor stuff, and his right hand...was currently down someone's shirt. He was bare- chested, staring at the ceiling, and his lips were half-parted in what I knew to be ecstasy. I'd bet anything one of the girls was sucking him off right now. Hell, why not two or three?
"Oh my God," I said, and I looked away. Jesse let me slip from his arms, and I swerved in my seat so I didn't have to see what was going on. "Oh my God, oh my God..." I leaned my forehead against the cool counter of the bar, wrapping my arms around my head, covering my ears and trying to block out the terrible noise that they called music. Pieces of my life were falling away. Big pieces.
"He knows we're here," Jesse said, a smile in his voice. "He knows, Susannah. The little bastard knows." I heard him say some stuff in Spanish. He was laughing softly as he said it, so I gather it wasn't very nice.
"I don't care, Jesse."
I sat up straight, recollecting the fallen bits of my pride, and faced the still laughing Jesse. He actually looked happy. Happy. Maybe because he figured Paul was out of the running now. Well, he kinda figured right. Paul had just lost most, if not all, of my respect.
"Truth, Jesse. I'm not giving you a choice. I want you to tell me the truth."
"But it's still my turn," he said, his eyes full of dark light. "I still haven't dared you to...do anything."
I chose to ignore the way he said that. I wasn't dealing with that now. I was angry, he was happy. It was one of those moments when we lost all compatibility.
"It was my turn anyway, Jesse. You're the one who cheated."
He shrugged gracefully. "Fine. But I get to dare you later tonight."
Once again, I chose to ignore his choice of words.
"Okay...what the hell is this Angel of Death thing?"
"Of course," he said. He took one last look out at the dance floor, and, shaking his head, turned back to me. He was smiling again, not very pleasantly. I chose to ignore that, too.
"Well, it's an old legend among the demon folk, of an angel of God that was treasured among all others. Higher that Gabriel, higher even than Lucifer before his fall from grace." He stopped to take a sip of his drink. It went down so easily for him, I was almost jealous. "Alexiel, Angel of Death. Are you sure this is what was said in your dream?"
I nodded.
"I can feel it sleeping inside of you. Enormous power. It wasn't there this morning. That's the only reason I believe you. Otherwise, I'd think you were an idiot."
I just looked at him.
"But you're not an idiot. You're Susannah Simon, never an idiot."
Was that sarcasm?
"Just tell me what you know," I demanded.
He took another sip, I think just to annoy me. His eyes never left me as he teased the straw between his lips. I was suddenly aware of the unusual situation I was in...boyfriend A was sitting next to me, performing oral sex on his drink and flirting with me, while boyfriend B was ten feet away from us, dancing with a hundred girls and having oral sex performed on him in a lame attempt to make me jealous. But of course, I was technically married to both of them. Ah, the joys of my life.
Jesse finally cleared his throat importantly. He looked like he was enjoying himself. At least one of us was.
"Okay...Angel of Death, held above all other angels in God's eyes, blah blah...well, the way the story goes, she was in love with Lucifer before his rebellion against God. When he gathered his army of angels, he pleaded with Alexiel to come with him, to help him defeat God. She refused. So, Lucifer took his army against God, lost, and was cast down into Hell. These fallen angels were the first demons, and Lucifer was the first demon king. All others are descended from him."
"So...you've got a piece of Satan in you, and so does Paul. This so figures."
"You cannot inherit evil, Susannah, only madness. Evil is taught."
"Whatever. Is that the end of the story?"
He took another sip of his drink, and stared out at the sea of dancing demons as he spoke. For the first time, I wondered if he cared at all. I wondered if he looked out at these creatures, and thought, "These are my people." If he did, then I felt truly sorry for him. Because then he was very, very alone in this world.
"No, Susannah. Unbeknownst to God, Lucifer, or even Alexiel herself, she was with child. When she found out, she panicked, and offered herself to God as his bride. He accepted her. The child was born, and it was the most beautiful thing Heaven had ever seen. The child of God and Alexiel. But...but Lucifer knew. Lucifer knew it his child. But he could do nothing. Nothing."
Jesse's face was dark. There was some painful emotion playing across his face. It almost looked...like he would cry.
"Jesse?" I said, touching his arm softly.
"In the child's eighth year of life, God noticed it changing. Light was slowly leaving the child. Shadow was seeping into its once blindingly white wings. God called Alexiel to him, and forced her to confess the truth. Then, despite his great love for them both, he cast his wife and child into Hell. Alexiel went to Lucifer for refuge. But...in a great rage, he killed them both. He loved her, and his child, so much...but he killed them."
I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. He was turned away from me now, so I couldn't see his face.
"Her tormented soul begged admittance into the kingdom of Heaven, but God would not let her enter. However, she was too innocent, too pure to suffer eternity in Hell. So God trapped her soul in a human body, damning her to earth for all eternity. She wandered the earth for thousands of lifetimes, all the while gaining hatred and power, until at last God had to further contain her...so he locked her away within a mortal's soul. Here she is sentenced to remain until the end of time. But before she went, she made a promise to both God and Lucifer...that she would return before her time came, in full power, and lay waste to Heaven, Hell, and Earth. They say God fears no one. But that is wrong. God fears only one. His love, his equal, his angel. Alexiel."
He turned to face me again, and the look had passed. Now there was something akin to wonderment as he looked at me. He reached out a pale hand, slowly, to touch my face. His cool fingers skimmed along my cheek, until he reached the corner of my lips. He touched a finger to my bottom lip, and my body was suddenly tight.
"Only one," he said again. He leaned a little closer, not to kiss, but almost as if he were studying me under a microscope. "Is this you, querida? Are you the one God fears so very much?"
"It would explain the hell He's put me through," I breathed against his finger.
He laughed softly, moving even closer. Our knees touched. His finger trailed down to my chin, and crept lower, down my neck, the to the side, stopping over the jumping pulse of my jugular. I froze.
"Then I am Lucifer. I am Satan. Are you afraid of me, angel? Are you afraid I will kill you?"
His other fingers were slowly slipping over my throat, until his hand was suddenly and inexplicably around my neck. I was heavy with the knowledge that a flick of his wrist would snap my neck like a twig, and the fear that he just might do it. I looked him dead in the eye, my face as blank as his. His eyes were dark, drowning...pitiless.
"You're Jesse. Not Lucifer. Lucifer is dead. You're just Jesse."
"Are you so sure? Who do you think it was in your dream? Who do you think spoke to you?"
My breath caught in my throat. "You...you said you didn't know...you didn't know...how would you know...?"
He came closer, closing his eyes and breathing along my face. I shut my eyes against him, suddenly so confused. The darkness behind my eyelids was somehow soothing. Then he said words that froze the blood in my veins.
"Because, little Susie...I am not Jesse."
I opened my eyes with a gasp, but Jesse...or whoever...wasn't looking at me. He was staring out at the dance floor again. I craned my neck to see what he was looking at, but it was tough with his hand around my neck. I finally managed to see what he was looking at...
...Paul was standing in the middle of the dance floor, but he was no longer covered in girls. He was just standing there, glaring at us. No, glaring at Jesse. His eyes were blue, icy fire. Scary stuff, I tell you.
"Get your hand off of her neck, or I will kill you," Paul said in a quiet voice. That was when I realized the terrible music had been shut off. Thank God.
"I hold them both in the palm of my hand," came a voice from Jesse's mouth, so low only I could hear it...but it wasn't Jesse's voice. My heart jumped into my throat. That voice, that horrible, twisted voice...
"But I only need one of them." He turned to me with a smile that filled me with dread of his next words. "I think I'll kill off your dark one, so that you may be with your god in shining armor, as it was meant to be. What do you think, Alexiel?"
"Nobody will die here," I choked out. It didn't sound very convincing, but I had to say something.
"No, Alexiel, angel, little Susie, light of life...someone will die. But you are right. Not here. Not yet." He crossed the last inch between our lips, and the moment we touched, a terrible despair came over me. It felt as if all the joy, all the energy, memories, spirit, everything that made me love and breathe, was stolen away from me with that gentle kiss. I felt weak, and I had the horrible feeling the only thing holding me up was his hand around my neck. "But soon. So...very...soon."
His eyes suddenly shut, and he jolted, as if he were waking from some kind of nightmare. When his eyes opened again, they were dim and unfocused. He stared down at me like he had never seen me before for a second, then he said, "Su...Susannah?"
His eyes lowered, and his saw his own hand around my neck. For the briefest moment, I saw his eyes unbelievably wide, then he took back his hand as if my skin had burned him. I managed to stay sitting upright, despite my weakness. I could feel the same thing happening that happened earlier...I was taking energy from the demons in the room, who were all silently staring that us. I was recovering my strength at an alarming rate.
"What...what did I do?" Jesse said, and his eyes were wild, frightened. He stood up quickly, tipping his bar stool over in the process. It clattered loudly to the ground, shattering the heavy silence. He stared at me, holding the hand that had encircled my neck as though it were injured. "You're so...pale, Susannah. What have I done?"
A vast amount of energy was pouring into me. I felt stronger than I ever had before. It was almost scary. I stood, and it was a graceful fluid motion. The way Jesse always moved. Except now. Now, he was just staring at me, looking at if his strength, his confidence, was gone.
"Jesse...I'm fine. Please. Don't be that way. Be strong, like you always have been."
He looked down. "I've never been strong, Susannah. Never. You don't understand."
"No, I don't." I held out a hand to him. "Please, Jesse. Show me. Let me inside."
I watched those terribly dull eyes slide downwards, to look at my hand. He looked at it like he wasn't sure he should touch it. In that moment, it felt like someone had pushed "mute" on some universal remote control. No sound at all. Not even the sound of my own heartbeat or breathing. Complete and utter nothingness. I wasn't sure what I'd do if Jesse refused my hand. I just didn't know.
After a small, excruciating eternity, he finally did lift one hand towards mine. His eyes stayed staring at my hand, outstretched toward him, and I stared down at it...no, our hands, so close now. On a more random note, I realized we were both in dire need of a tan. Well, that would work better if there was actually a SUN to tan under...
I swear our fingers were less than an inch away, when Jesse suddenly wasn't there anymore. Just like that. One second, he was reaching for me, the next second, he was just gone. I blinked, and started whirling around in idiotic circles, searching for him.
"Jesse?!"
Then I realized that all the demons were staring upwards. I followed their line of vision, raising my eyes slowly to the ceiling...
Paul was pressing Jesse against the ceiling with the whole length of his body. He had both his hands around Jesse's neck, and he was hissing angrily in his face. Jesse was utterly unresponsive. His head had fallen forward, and Paul was holding it up with his hands. Jesse's arms hung limply at either side of Paul, dangling toward the floor. It looked rather disturbing. Like they were lying on a bed upside-down or something. Except Jesse looked entirely too dead.
I could only stare. There was nothing I could do. Nothing...
Except...
"No," I whispered. "No..." I spread my wings as wide as I could, and beat them once, hard. Too hard. I damn near crashed into the ceiling. I was hovering beneath them in less than a second. Where was all this strength coming from????
Wait...I really didn't want to know.
I looked up, at the back of Paul's head. He didn't know I was right behind him. I could catch some of what he was saying...
"Piece of shit...don't deserve her...MY queen...almost killed her..."
Jesse's hands were dangling lifeless on either side of my head. I reached up and touched them softly. Cold.
He wasn't...?
"Stop it, Paul," I said. Well, I tried to say it, but all that came out was a soft whimper.
What was wrong with Jesse???? Why was he just...hanging there????? I couldn't feel any movement as I touched his hands. No pulse as I intertwined my fingers with his. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
There was suddenly a low beat rising...slowly...speeding up...like a drum, making my blood rush faster. I thought for a wild moment that it might be Jesse's heart beating again, but then I realized the sound was in me...in my head, my chest, my throat. It was my heart, beating faster and faster. I could feel power inside me. I could practically touch that power, as if it were a living thing inside of me.
Jesse's hands slipped out of mine. He was raising his arms over his head, almost like he was reaching out for something. Relief washed over me—he was alive. He was okay. But then I noticed the fine trembling in those hands. Paul was...strangling him. Slowly, silently, strangling him.
The power burst through me at that thought, and I could hardly control what I did next. My arms reached up, seemingly of their own accord, and grabbed Paul by the shoulders.
"STOP IT PAUL!!!!"
And I ripped him away from Jesse.
He gave a strangled scream as he flew downward. I had just enough time to see Jesse's eyes half-closed as if asleep, his face chalky-white, before Paul grabbed my ankle as he fell passed me and I fell to the floor with him. He went face-first into the dance floor at break-neck speed, and I landed relatively unscathed on top of him. But it was still a painful landing.
I heard Paul give a pained moan, and I slid off of him, standing to look up at Jesse. He was still on the ceiling, as if some force was pinning him there. Only this time, his arms and outstretched wings were also pinned to the ceiling, and his head no longer drooped forward. It was like the crucifixion of some tragic, beautiful death god.
"Jesse..."
I stood staring up at Jesse, hung on the ceiling, nearly unconscious. Surrounded by the demons, the silent witnesses to this spectacle. Beside me, Paul stood with another moan, blood flowing freely from his nose and a large gash high on his forehead. He shook his wings, sending loose silken black feathers raining down on us like a morbid rain. Tears were flowing down my face. What was wrong with Jesse? What was wrong with Jesse?
"Kill the dark one..." the voice slithered up my spine like a cold hand. I spun around, but it was only Paul behind me, looking up at Jesse with a smirk.
Was it really...only Paul?
I hold them both in the palm of my hand...
Paul raised both his hands high over his head...and he whipped them downwards so fast they were a blur of motion. Jesse gave a painful gasp. I looked up, and there was blood...his hands. Jesse's hands had bloody scratches over them. I saw Paul raise his hands again from the corner of my eyes, and there was no time to stop him before he whipped them down again, and Jesse cried out. This time, I wasn't sure where he had been hit...until I saw thick blood beginning to gather at the tips of his boots. His feet. Paul was ripping Jesse apart without even touching him.
"A pale imitation, I know," Paul said, grinning triumphantly at me.
"Yeah, it is," I agreed, glaring at him. I closed the distance between us in two swift steps.
"Paul...I thought I could love you. I thought there was a chance I could feel something for you." I watched the smile slide off of his face as I spoke, and something dark and kind of hopeless set in. "I was afraid I might have to make a difficult choice. But now I don't. You've made that choice for me."
"Suze—"
"I never want to see you again after this night."
Paul's eyes widened, and his mouth kind of fell open. And he just stared at me like that, his mouth opening and closing slightly, like he was trying to say something. Something warm and wet dropped on my cheek then, and I started. It started to slide down my face, and I looked up. Jesse was still hanging there, his eyes closed. He was still alive. I could see his chest rising and falling, fast.
"Let him go."
"I'm not holding him," Paul said, his voice quiet.
I shook my head. "Whatever, Paul."
I flew up to Jesse again, this time not nearly cracking my skull open. I stopped just under him.
"...Jesse?"
He looked like he was sleeping. He was so pale! Like he was sick...dying. His lips were red, almost like they were smeared in blood...
"Jesse, please...wake up..."
I touched his face, gently. So cold! Why was he so cold? What was wrong with him? I pressed my body tight against his, against the ceiling, trying to warm him. I stretched out my arms, taking his hands in mine. Blood began to dribble back down my arms towards me, running in tiny red streams. I didn't care. I didn't care. All I wanted was for Jesse to open his eyes and say something...anything...even tell me he hated me, I don't care...just say something!
"Jesse...Jesse, you have to wake up now," I said softly. I pressed my cheek against his. "You don't understand, Jesse...I've chosen you. You. Nobody but you. I'm so sorry it took such a long time. I never thought...that this would happen." I gave a weak laugh. "I mean, I'm not even sure what just happened. Apparently we're both possessed by some ancient people who had issues thousands of years ago. Now they're making us suffer for their mistakes." I laughed again. "Fits great with everything else that's happened in my shitty life!" I laughed again. I stopped when a small sound came from Jesse. He moved his head against my cheek. His arms were suddenly heavy against mine, no longer pinned to the ceiling. I hoped I wouldn't go crashing back down if the rest of him suddenly came loose.
"Jesse," I whispered. "Jesse, live! Live for me, please? Live for...for Rose. Live for our daughter, Jesse."
There was suddenly scream from below us. Jesse's hands tightened around mine a second before there was a horrible sting at my back, like someone had slashed me knives. I didn't scream, but I sucked in a breath. My body seized up, and I began to fall back down towards the floor. His hands around mine saved me from what could have been a very painful experience.
I felt warm blood begin to seep down my back. It wasn't really hurting. Not yet. Right now it was kind of numb. Later, I knew, I would be in a lot of pain. I had to get Paul for this one.
I looked up, and met Jesse's eyes. Wide awake. Staring down at me. His face was expressionless, but those eyes...those eyes said things that words could never express.
"Are...are you okay?" I said.
"I am fine, my body is already healing the damage," he said, his voice slightly hoarse. "But what I'm about to do to Paul will not heal so easily." He paused, seemingly at a loss for words for a moment, then said, "Thank you. I cannot apologize enough for my moment of weakness when you needed my strength the most."
I smiled. He sounded so much like the old Jesse.
"I'm just glad you're alive, Jesse."
He came away from the ceiling, slowly, drawing himself against me, and we drifted gently to the floor that way, towards Paul and the ever-silent demons.
A/N: WHAT DID I DO TO THEIR DATE?!?!?! Oh, whatever, the night is still young. Good things can still happen..........hopefully..........(my fingers have a mind of their own, it's scary was they type sometimes......oO)
Anyway, I have some splendiferous news for you guys. You know how I've had major writing block since like, chapter 5 of this story? Well...............I don't anymore. Yes, my friends, my writer's block is finally dead! I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!
It happened while I was washing the dishes today. I was thinking about how upset everyone on is with me because I never update, then I was thinking about my mom should wash the dishes for a change, then I was thinking about Johnny Depp, then—BOOM—the whole story just flew into my head in a flash of inspiration. Seriously—I was dizzy from how fast it happened.
So now I know exactly where I'm going, and what's going to happen. I have regained control of my story! I am no longer writing lame random chapters of whatever I can think of at the time! Rejoice!
Okay, now that I've told you all my life story, please REVIEW!!!! No new chapter until I have...TEN REVIEWS!!! Yes, the number is getting high...but hey, I'm not making any money here! I'm dirt poor, and here I am writing when I could have a summer job!
Lol, j/k, you know I love you guys! And to whoever's still reading this piece of crap, thanks for having faith and sticking with me for so long. You guys are the reason I write! YOU ROCK!
TTFN