So is Kenric dead?!
I said he wouldn't die, didn't I? Well, wouldn't you know, you find out whether or not I was telling the truth in this very chapter.
After this fic is over, what next?
I do have a new story bubbling in my head. It will involve the Goddess of Chaos finding a way to once again infiltrate the mortal realm with her evil. Daine and Numair are sent to the rescue… but things don't quite go their way. It will be called "Chaos Born".
*poke* Where'd Kalasin go?
She's coming! But not in this chapter. The next one, I believe.
AN: Lauryn's story is drawing to a close. (The end is near. Hide.) As I said earlier, Kenric is back in this chapter. Now, onward.
34. Decisions
Nobles' Bane: Chapter 32
"I saw him sneak away to see Delice again. He thinks he's being so sneaky." She sighed. "I hope he's more careful. A scandal involving the Lord Provost and a servant girl is the last thing we need right now."
She spent an hour every afternoon sitting beside Kenric's sleeping form, talking to him. Keeping him informed.
At times, she felt foolish for doing it. Foolish, vulnerable, and naïve. But she couldn't help but hope that, somewhere within the battered body, Kenric still lived. And listened.
"Axe says that Travis' behavior is typical. Typical of the blood we share. That we both always seem to choose the more difficult path when it comes to…"
To love…
It had been six days since the gathering by the castle walls. Corus had become quieter since, but the citizens still lived on edge, wondering who their new monarchs would be.
She had hoped that she wouldn't be too obvious, but from the way everyone seemed to walk on tip-toe around her, she knew that it was well known throughout the castle that she was avoiding Nathan's presence. And his parents' too.
"They want me to say yes," she said, more than slightly bitter. "They haven't told me so, but I know it. They want Nathan to be king, with me as his wife. They think that everything will be just dandy that way. Why can't they understand that things aren't that simple?"
The grip she had on his hand tightened. "I can't do this. Kenric, I can't do this. Not alone. Please, please wake up. Don't leave me here to face this myself." But this was a plea she spoke at every visit. And the fact that she had to repeat it just before she left him every afternoon demonstrated how very unheard it was.
But the gods must have finally heard her prayer, for she received a summons from Axe during dinner with her brother later that day.
"Lady," the slave bowed, "your companion, Axe, has asked that I tell you this: Kenric has stirred."
She got to her feet so quickly that her chair fell back and nearly knocked Travis off his own. "He's awake?"
The way the slave paused before replying chilled her brief happiness. "He is… stirring. The healers are with him now."
Lauryn glanced over her shoulder and frowned at her brother, who leaned over his plate, rubbing his side. "Travis, what are you doing?"
He merely shook his head at her. "Come on. Let's go check on Kenric."
She nodded and briskly headed out of the dining hall. Reaching Kenric's room, she heard muffled cries from inside. Slaves huddled, whispering to one another, in the hallway. They moved aside to let her past the doorway.
"It was all my fault! Kenat--"
"Hush, my lord." A healer knelt over a distraught Kenric.
"Stop! I said to stop!" Kenric lashed out at the healer, pushing him away. "Don't heal me; go heal Kenat! He's the one who's hurt--"
She pushed her way to the bedside. "What's going on? Who is Kenat? Kenric--"
Kenric gasped and made fervent hand motions towards her. "Don't call me that! Father… he'll be angry if he hears you," he whispered feverishly. He shrank back into his pillow and gave her a strange look. "Who are you? Wh--what are you doing here? Does father know you're here?" He glanced at the others for answers, shrinking further into his sheets when he got none. He turned to look at the healer then. "Please. Go to Kenat. He needs you; he's badly injured…"
"Who is Kenat?" Lauryn asked again, struggling to understand what was happening.
The hand Kenric reached out to her pleadingly was trembling. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have… I… I didn't think he would get hurt. But the dog, father's hunting dog, it attacked Kenat when I… when I…"
She didn't even realize that she was swaying on her feet until her brother reached out to catch one arm while Axe, who had come over to stand on her other side, took the other.
Kenric hid his face in his hands. "I shouldn't have pushed him. I'm so sorry…"
~*~*~
"Lord Athaniel requests your presence, Lady."
She shook her head. "I'm afraid I'm not feeling well. Please inform the lord of this fact and ask him to pardon me," she said to the slave.
The young girl nodded, although her eyes told Lauryn what she thought of her fib. Lauryn turned away, but only ended up facing Axe's own penetrating gaze.
"You can't avoid him forever."
"I can try," she muttered.
He merely gave her a hard look to tell her how very childish her behavior was.
"I don't know what to do, Axe," she said wearily in reply.
"Lord Athaniel is not a fool, Lauryn. He will not let the topic go so easily."
"Why doesn't he just leave me alone? Doesn't he know that my silence is as good as a refusal?"
"Things aren't that simple any more. You aren't just the average commoner. You are Tortall's Jade. And this is politics."
"Politics," she muttered with disgust.
"He knows what he is asking. He has done his research. He has spoken to the others. He has spoken to me. Think, Lauryn. Presently, there still is no publicly accepted heir. You have presented a prospect. But Nathan is just one, and there can be many. Not all nobles who followed The General have been captured or converted. Those who have escaped can rally together; other prospects can be presented. And these prospects will not be illegitimate sons. They will not be commoners. Both of which, Nathan clearly is." Axe's gaze was merciless, but his tone was gentle. "You want Nathan to be King. Fine. But you need to be beside him to make that possible."
"… but why me?"
He smiled faintly at her. "The people love you. They have already asked you to become their Queen. They will follow you. But if you refuse Nathan now, they will wonder why. And they will start doubting him. And ambivalent people can be bought over with gold and silver, a fact that the nobles who will need support know very, very well."
She lowered her gaze to the floor.
I can't. I can't do this. Why are you doing this to me?
But she trusted Axe. He would give his life to protect her; she knew that. But…
"Lauryn." Axe touched her lightly on her shoulder. "Lord Athaniel is well aware of the Lady Clarine and her importance to Nathan. This decision of his to act was not an easy one. He would not ask this lightly of his son. Or of you.
"He would not," Axe murmured again. "And… nor would I."
So. You have made the same decision that Lord Athaniel has made.
Axe spoke again into her silence, making this one of the longest speeches he has ever given to her in her life. "There is another way to look at it, love. If you refuse, you will have no place in this castle. Perhaps you will be granted a name and become a noble. But the castle will not be yours to stay in indefinitely. However, if you accept, this castle will be your home. And it is in this castle… that Kenric will stay."
It was almost unfair. Axe knew her too well. He knew exactly what strings to pull.
"What will you do, Axe?" she suddenly asked with genuine curiosity. "Now that there is no Nobles' Bane."
He didn't even have to pause to think of his answer. "I am as one with the commoners of Tortall. I follow you, no matter what path that may lead to. Just as I have always done."
"You do as much guiding as I do leading, Axe," she said quietly. Thank you.
He acknowledged her thought with a nod. "So. What say you, Lauryn?"
She started to turn. "I'm going to go visit Kenric. But afterwards… afterwards, I will go and attend Lord Athaniel."
~*~*~*~
He put down the book he had been reading as she slipped into the room. She stopped a few paces past the doorway, and they stared at one another.
Then Kenric smiled at her. "Good afternoon, mistress."
He recognized her. It was one of his good days.
He looked at her nervously as she sat down beside the bed. "I'm not sure if you should stay and talk to me today. Father won't be happy to learn that I've had visitors--"
"You're father will never hurt you again, Kenric. Have no worries."
Everyday she had to assure Kenric that his father would not hurt him or be upset. And she despised the way he winced every time she called him by 'Kenric.' She wished that his father were still alive so that she could hurt him. Again and again for all this pain he had caused to Kenric as a child.
"Do you…" he hesitated, looking at her with wide, uncertain eyes.
Do you know if Kenat is all right?
It was a question he asked her everyday. Or, at least, everyday he was coherent.
"Kenat is feeling much better," she said encouragingly.
He breathed a child's sigh of relief. "Oh, good."
She wanted to cry, then.
How could you have forgotten? Why can't you remember?
There were no answers. One could only rationalize that the fall off the tower had shocked his mind into his past. He lived his childhood memories; after that moment in which he had hurt one of the slaves' children by pushing the little boy into one of his father's dogs…
And he was stuck in more than just memories. Physically, the healers had decided that only with a miracle would Kenric ever use his legs again.
A hand suddenly touched the side of her face.
"Oh, please don't cry," Kenric implored, distressed at seeing her silent tears. "Please don't."
"I'm not," she bit out. "I'm not," she said again, just as another tear slid from the corner of her eye.
He leaned back to study her uncertainly. "Father always says that crying is a weakness. That only the weak show their emotions. Would you agree?"
She might have a few months ago.
"No," she said sharply. "It isn't weakness. Merely human."
A frown creased Kenric's forehead. "Oh," he said as he thought about what she said.
Axe was right, as always. Kenric wasn't going anywhere.
And so, neither was she.
She got to her feet. "Kenric, I'm sorry, but I must go for now." To see Lord Athaniel.
The look of disappointment that appeared so clearly on his face touched her heart. "Will you come back?"
She smiled at him. "Without a doubt."
He smiled back his sweet smile as she left.
Kenric's mind was stuck in his past, reduced back to his childhood. But this time, she would be here. And she was going to make sure that it would be full of happy memories. This time, he was going to grow up happy, something he never was because of his father.
Kenric, I'll take care of you…
~*~*~
May your heart find as many adventures in the Realm of the Dead as it did among the Living.
Cobalt of Nobles' Bane.
And then his name, engraved within the shape of one of his beloved moon discs.
Danel.
The wind suddenly picked up, throwing her hair against her face. With a frown, she got to her feet and glanced around suspiciously.
Nathan stood watching her about ten feet away from Danel's grave. He stood stiffly in his fine clothes. His black hair, longer now, was tied back into a tail, giving his face an angular, pointed look. The hair made him look more like a noble than the clothes did.
She almost turned to walk away, but something in his expression made her plant her feet.
She hadn't spoken to him yet. She had expressed her consent to his father, but she didn't know how Nathan felt about it. Obviously, he, too, had given in.
She wasn't sure she wanted to talk to him. Or knew what to say.
Her hair flew into her eyes again. She swiped a hand across her forehead and caught at her hair when she noticed that the wind also tugged at the leaves that lay between her and Nathan. The leaves were gently lofted by something entirely unnatural into mid-air where they seemed to dance before her eyes.
"What the--"
As if sensing her distrust, they swirled up around her, capturing her in its whirlwind of leaves and petals. She stood stock still even though she wanted to fight them off. After all, how strange would it be to see a grown woman wrestling with a few handful of leaves?
And then they stopped. And pulled away.
But it wasn't over.
They gathered in front of her, falling gently back down to the grass one at a time. Until they were all still.
And she saw that they had spelt out a message for her.
Will you marry me?
Her breath caught; she suddenly realized that Nathan had come to stand right beside her. Waiting.
"You already know the answer," she finally said. "I already agreed."
"You agreed with my father," he said softly in reply. "As did I. But two people who are supposed to be married before the end of the month should also agree with one another, should they not?"
She laughed a helpless, vulnerable laugh. "I don't know. Maybe we should just let your father handle it. After all, he seems to have all the right answers."
"You were never one to be bullied into a decision," he said challengingly. "What gives now?"
"I'm just… tired. Danel is dead. Kenric is…" she choked. "I never wanted this. Any of it."
"Danel gave his life for your cause, Lauryn. And now that you've defeated General Aleyn, you're willing to crawl back and live as if you've never been in Nobles' Bane? Yes, I'm sure those zealous nobles who seek the now empty throne for themselves with thank you for your consideration," he said mockingly.
Her fist snapped out towards his face; she hardly recognized her own intent until she felt Nathan's tight grip around her wrist.
"How dare you--"
"I dare it," he said matter of factly, "for Clarine. She loved Tortall while she still lived. And I refuse to just hand it over to the highest bidder. Not whilst I can inherit it."
"So you're going to force me to marry you?" she demanded, still angry.
He blinked, looking momentarily surprised at himself. He shook his head and released her hand. "No, that wasn't my intent. I merely… I merely wanted you to know my reasons for agreeing to this. I refuse to let Clarine die for nothing. I will not let her death be for naught."
Her anger suddenly dissipated as she realized what Nathan was hinting at.
You walk away from here, you make Danel's death pointless. And Kenric's sacrifice as well…
"I told you. I already agreed to marry you," she said. But there was no more anger in her words.
"We will hate each other more than we hated General Aleyn if we carry on this way. I know you will never love me as you love Kenric; I don't expect you to. And I know you understand that my heart will always be Clarine's. But I," he motioned to the leaves that still spelt out a proposal on the grass beside them, "I am willing to put in the effort to make this marriage work. I don't want to be fighting with you all the time. We used to be great friends once. And we can be again," he said quietly. "But only if it's mutual."
She studied the message again.
"So," he said. "Is it?"
A butterfly, its wings an amazingly striking cobalt, settled onto one of the leaves.
"Lauryn," Nathan said, sounding terribly uncertain. "Do you think this can work?
She looked at him then. Nodded. "Yes. It will."