Disclaimer : I own nowt.
THE KNEE TREMBLER
Chapter 4 : Lucius loses the will to live, as does most people
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lucius turned up at Hogwarts about four and a half days after Draco had sent the letter. He looked haggard, his long blond hair all over the shop, and his eyes were bloodshot and resembled raspberrys in a way.
The moment Lucius caught sight of his son, his eyes squinted in such a way that people started to hide. One of those hiding was Draco, who dived behind a nearby rosebush. He hid there for at least an hour before Lucius found him, and was seen been dragged kicking and screaming through the grounds by an irate blond man.
''But Father!''wailed Draco. ''I'm your son!''
''We'll bloody see about that,''Lucius muttered as he dragged Draco inside.
Once they'd found an empty room, Lucius literally picked up Draco by his hair and threw him into a desk. Draco lay there for a good few minutes, as it seemed a lot safer to play dead right now.
Draco heard his father unscrew a hipflask of whiskey and take a very deep swig.
''My god, Draco . .''muttered Lucius, who was drunk anyway, with or without the whiskey. ''A mudblood??''
Draco blushed. ''Sorry,''he said. ''It could've been worse . .''
This didn't seem to be the reply Lucius was looking for.
''Sorry??? You're sorry???''he roared. ''For god's sake Draco!!! How could this be worse?? You've gotten a Mudblod up the duff - I'm going to be a mockery at the Death Eaters Association ! And the Dark Lord! What's he going to say when he finds out that one of his best men's son has got some silly tart pregnant! Oh my god . . .the humanity . . .''
He put his head in his hands and started to mutter incomprehenable things. Then he started to cry.
Draco was not in the mood now for any of this. ''Are you finished?''he said spitefully.
Lucius looked up from sobbing and then wiped his nose on his sleeve. ''Not really,''he said.
He stood to his full height, but because he was so drunk he couldn't do it for long, and slumped against a desk.
''At least show me what this Mudblood scum looks like . .''he muttered vaguely.
Draco conjured an image of Hermione and Lucius pulled a face.
''Bloody hell, she's hideous! How could you be so stupid??''he cried.
Draco felt insulted - yes, Hermione wasn't going to win any beauty pageants in the near future, but she was far from hideous.
''Oh come off it, Father,''said Draco, annoyed. ''I was drunk! And when you're that drunk, *nobody* is hideous. You even find yourself thinking the hoover is totally irressitable!''
Lucius clearly wasn't listening, as he had dissapeared into singing ''Danny Boy'', adding his own lyrics here and there.
Draco grimaced and went to leave. His father's drunken warbles followed him out into the hall.
''DANNY BOYYYY, THE PIPES, THE PIPES ARE CALLING . . .umm . . .MY SON'S A TART!'' Lucius sang.
Draco shuddered.
''Draco!''bellowed Lucius, drunkenly. ''Get back here and help me with the next verse of Danny Boy! Draco!''
Draco looked to the left to see Crabbe, Goyle, Harry and Hermione. Standing there, looking pale but very amused was Ron, who had recovered remarkably quick from his six simultaneous heart attacks.
''Aren't you meant to be dead?''said Draco spitefully. Ron ignored him.
''So . .''said Harry, grinning. ''How's your dad taking the news?''
Draco rolled his eyes. ''Yes, I know, Father's gone completely tonto.'' He gave a sigh. ''I need a drink,''he said.
Then he left.
Goyle peered into the empty classroom that Lucius was singing in. ''I'll help you sing the rest of the song, Mr Malfoy,''he said.
Lucius was lying on the floor, underneath a desk, completely off his face.
''Piss you, you ugly bloody slug!''he yelled. He threw the hipflask of whiskey at Crabbe, which bounced off his head, making a truly great sound.
DOINK!!
Ron nearly wet himself laughing, clutching at his heart whilst he did so. He gave a heaving breath then keeled over, legs akimbo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next few days passed in a frankly noisy blur.
Lucius chose to stay at the school for a couple of days, mainly because he was having great difficulty in walking without falling arse over tit. A great deal of alchohol had been drunk by the Death Eater - at least as much as is consumed at a Scottish wedding which, believe me, is a helluva lot.
His singing could be heard all over Hogwarts, and it was giving everyone a headache, espcially Draco, who had taken to putting cotton wool in his ears.
One evening, Pansy Parkinson came into Draco's room, grinning ear to ear at the fact that she was standing in the place where Draco slept.
''Hello Draco,''she said brightly.
Draco removed a piece of cotton wool from his right ear. ''What do you want?''he said nastily.
''Um . . . you do realise that your dad is in the Slytherin common room, drunk as a lord and singing Irish folk songs, don't you?''she said.
Draco feigned shock. ''No? Really? Well, I must say, Pansy, that comes as a shock! I can honestly say I haven't noticed my father warbling like a 6ft canary with an infuriatingly loud voice echoing round the bloody school one little bit! Thank you so much for telling me.'' Draco sarcasm meter was going off the scale.
He glared at Pansy. ''You are an idiot,''he said.
Pansy looked hurt but then said, ''You look so cute when you're angry.''
Draco reached for his wand. ''Get out before I turn you into something even more disgusting than whatever the hell you are now,''he said dangerously.
Pansy cleverly left and Draco put the cotton wool back in his right ear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor common room, Ron was getting more and more pissed off at Lucius's singing.
''I swear, I'm going to kill that cocaine-snorting, Porche-driving, wine-tasting arsehole if he keeps up that fucking singing!''he snarled.
Hermione looked up at him from her book, an eyebrow raised. ''No you won't,''she said.
''Yes I would,''Ron said, feeling a little put out.
''No you wouldn't,'' said Harry.
''I bloody would!''Ron cried.
''Go on then,''said Hermione.
''No, I don't want to now,''said Ron, sulkily.
''I've got to say,''said Harry thoughtfully. ''Who would've thought that Lucius Malfoy would have a voice like Pavarotti.''
''Like who?''said Ron, confused.
''Oh, this big fat Muggle bloke who sings opera,''said Harry.
''Like who?''said Ron.
Harry ignored him. ''Maybe Lucius should get a record deal,''he said.
Hermione glared at him.
''Maybe not,''said Harry as an afterthought.
''Well I must say,''said Hermione, huffily. ''The sooner that horrible man is gone, the better. He keeps jumping out at me in the hallways trying to scare me into having a heart attack!''
''He does that to me anyway,''said Ron. ''I think he enjoys it.'' He sniggered. ''I bet the servants at his house love him . . .''
Harry giggled.
''It's not funny!''snapped Hermione. ''He's trying to kill me!''
''Well, can't blame the guy,''said Harry evenly. ''I mean, he is one of the Dark Lord's minions. I bet that if all his evil mates find about about his son having a baby with you then they'll take the piss out of him for weeks!''
Hermione scowled. ''Well . . .Lucius Malfoy can bite my arse.''
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5 shouldn't take too long for me to do, so bear with me!
Luv Lux
xox
THE KNEE TREMBLER
Chapter 4 : Lucius loses the will to live, as does most people
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lucius turned up at Hogwarts about four and a half days after Draco had sent the letter. He looked haggard, his long blond hair all over the shop, and his eyes were bloodshot and resembled raspberrys in a way.
The moment Lucius caught sight of his son, his eyes squinted in such a way that people started to hide. One of those hiding was Draco, who dived behind a nearby rosebush. He hid there for at least an hour before Lucius found him, and was seen been dragged kicking and screaming through the grounds by an irate blond man.
''But Father!''wailed Draco. ''I'm your son!''
''We'll bloody see about that,''Lucius muttered as he dragged Draco inside.
Once they'd found an empty room, Lucius literally picked up Draco by his hair and threw him into a desk. Draco lay there for a good few minutes, as it seemed a lot safer to play dead right now.
Draco heard his father unscrew a hipflask of whiskey and take a very deep swig.
''My god, Draco . .''muttered Lucius, who was drunk anyway, with or without the whiskey. ''A mudblood??''
Draco blushed. ''Sorry,''he said. ''It could've been worse . .''
This didn't seem to be the reply Lucius was looking for.
''Sorry??? You're sorry???''he roared. ''For god's sake Draco!!! How could this be worse?? You've gotten a Mudblod up the duff - I'm going to be a mockery at the Death Eaters Association ! And the Dark Lord! What's he going to say when he finds out that one of his best men's son has got some silly tart pregnant! Oh my god . . .the humanity . . .''
He put his head in his hands and started to mutter incomprehenable things. Then he started to cry.
Draco was not in the mood now for any of this. ''Are you finished?''he said spitefully.
Lucius looked up from sobbing and then wiped his nose on his sleeve. ''Not really,''he said.
He stood to his full height, but because he was so drunk he couldn't do it for long, and slumped against a desk.
''At least show me what this Mudblood scum looks like . .''he muttered vaguely.
Draco conjured an image of Hermione and Lucius pulled a face.
''Bloody hell, she's hideous! How could you be so stupid??''he cried.
Draco felt insulted - yes, Hermione wasn't going to win any beauty pageants in the near future, but she was far from hideous.
''Oh come off it, Father,''said Draco, annoyed. ''I was drunk! And when you're that drunk, *nobody* is hideous. You even find yourself thinking the hoover is totally irressitable!''
Lucius clearly wasn't listening, as he had dissapeared into singing ''Danny Boy'', adding his own lyrics here and there.
Draco grimaced and went to leave. His father's drunken warbles followed him out into the hall.
''DANNY BOYYYY, THE PIPES, THE PIPES ARE CALLING . . .umm . . .MY SON'S A TART!'' Lucius sang.
Draco shuddered.
''Draco!''bellowed Lucius, drunkenly. ''Get back here and help me with the next verse of Danny Boy! Draco!''
Draco looked to the left to see Crabbe, Goyle, Harry and Hermione. Standing there, looking pale but very amused was Ron, who had recovered remarkably quick from his six simultaneous heart attacks.
''Aren't you meant to be dead?''said Draco spitefully. Ron ignored him.
''So . .''said Harry, grinning. ''How's your dad taking the news?''
Draco rolled his eyes. ''Yes, I know, Father's gone completely tonto.'' He gave a sigh. ''I need a drink,''he said.
Then he left.
Goyle peered into the empty classroom that Lucius was singing in. ''I'll help you sing the rest of the song, Mr Malfoy,''he said.
Lucius was lying on the floor, underneath a desk, completely off his face.
''Piss you, you ugly bloody slug!''he yelled. He threw the hipflask of whiskey at Crabbe, which bounced off his head, making a truly great sound.
DOINK!!
Ron nearly wet himself laughing, clutching at his heart whilst he did so. He gave a heaving breath then keeled over, legs akimbo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next few days passed in a frankly noisy blur.
Lucius chose to stay at the school for a couple of days, mainly because he was having great difficulty in walking without falling arse over tit. A great deal of alchohol had been drunk by the Death Eater - at least as much as is consumed at a Scottish wedding which, believe me, is a helluva lot.
His singing could be heard all over Hogwarts, and it was giving everyone a headache, espcially Draco, who had taken to putting cotton wool in his ears.
One evening, Pansy Parkinson came into Draco's room, grinning ear to ear at the fact that she was standing in the place where Draco slept.
''Hello Draco,''she said brightly.
Draco removed a piece of cotton wool from his right ear. ''What do you want?''he said nastily.
''Um . . . you do realise that your dad is in the Slytherin common room, drunk as a lord and singing Irish folk songs, don't you?''she said.
Draco feigned shock. ''No? Really? Well, I must say, Pansy, that comes as a shock! I can honestly say I haven't noticed my father warbling like a 6ft canary with an infuriatingly loud voice echoing round the bloody school one little bit! Thank you so much for telling me.'' Draco sarcasm meter was going off the scale.
He glared at Pansy. ''You are an idiot,''he said.
Pansy looked hurt but then said, ''You look so cute when you're angry.''
Draco reached for his wand. ''Get out before I turn you into something even more disgusting than whatever the hell you are now,''he said dangerously.
Pansy cleverly left and Draco put the cotton wool back in his right ear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor common room, Ron was getting more and more pissed off at Lucius's singing.
''I swear, I'm going to kill that cocaine-snorting, Porche-driving, wine-tasting arsehole if he keeps up that fucking singing!''he snarled.
Hermione looked up at him from her book, an eyebrow raised. ''No you won't,''she said.
''Yes I would,''Ron said, feeling a little put out.
''No you wouldn't,'' said Harry.
''I bloody would!''Ron cried.
''Go on then,''said Hermione.
''No, I don't want to now,''said Ron, sulkily.
''I've got to say,''said Harry thoughtfully. ''Who would've thought that Lucius Malfoy would have a voice like Pavarotti.''
''Like who?''said Ron, confused.
''Oh, this big fat Muggle bloke who sings opera,''said Harry.
''Like who?''said Ron.
Harry ignored him. ''Maybe Lucius should get a record deal,''he said.
Hermione glared at him.
''Maybe not,''said Harry as an afterthought.
''Well I must say,''said Hermione, huffily. ''The sooner that horrible man is gone, the better. He keeps jumping out at me in the hallways trying to scare me into having a heart attack!''
''He does that to me anyway,''said Ron. ''I think he enjoys it.'' He sniggered. ''I bet the servants at his house love him . . .''
Harry giggled.
''It's not funny!''snapped Hermione. ''He's trying to kill me!''
''Well, can't blame the guy,''said Harry evenly. ''I mean, he is one of the Dark Lord's minions. I bet that if all his evil mates find about about his son having a baby with you then they'll take the piss out of him for weeks!''
Hermione scowled. ''Well . . .Lucius Malfoy can bite my arse.''
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5 shouldn't take too long for me to do, so bear with me!
Luv Lux
xox