Disclaimer : I own nothing!! Nothing, dammit!
THE KNEE TREMBLER
Chapter 10 : Draco gets on everyone's bad side
Sirius had happily ordered himself, Ron, Harry and Draco an overlarge curry. Ron had gorged himself silly with it as had Sirius. Harry had picked at it, still absorbed in addictive crappy magazines. Draco had tried to choke himself with it, but had given up and eaten it instead.
Soon after he had been rather unceremoniously sick.
''Nerves is it?''said Sirius helpfully.
Draco gave an anguished wail. ''How can this be happening to me??''he sobbed. ''I'm too young for all this! This is just . . . wrong!''
Ron gave an annoyed sigh. ''Will you stop complaining for five minutes?''he said. ''If anyone should be whining then it should be Hermione, not you, you arse-faced weasel.''
''I have not got a face like an arse!''Draco cried.
''Yes you have,''said Ron. ''And you're skinny and weird and blond!''
''Well, at least I don't have to dance for pennies to feed my family, Weasley,''spat Draco nastily.
Ron went red. ''Don't start, Malfoy . . ''he said dangerously.
Draco was over the moon at having someone he could finally take his distress out on.
''Really Weasley? Don't start you say? I've already started, so tough shit!''
Harry rolled his eye, not bothering to get involved. Sirius watched with a vague interest.
''Tell me, Weasley, did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? Oh . .wait . . I forgot - you don't have a proper home, do you? You live in a mud hut, don't you?''
Ron was going scarlet at this point. ''I'm warning you, Malfoy . .''he said.
''It must be awful being as poor as you,''continued Draco. ''I mean . . .the last time you had a hot meal was when your little sister threw up, wasn't it? And your mother - dear lord! Now there's something that should be donated to scientific research! Actually . . .now that I think about it, are you parents brother and sister? I would explain an awful lot - ''
Ron gave a cry of fury and launched himself at Draco. The two of them grappled feebly on the floor for a while. Sirius didn't bother helping, as he found the whole thing rather funny and Harry barely noticed.
''STOP TALKING ABOUT MY FAMILY!!!!''
''WEASLEY'S A BUM! WEASLEY'S A GYPSY! WEASLEY DANCES FOR PENNIES!''
Crash. Bang. Wallop.
Sirius giggled then said, ''Come on now, break it up.''
He was completely ignored and took one of Harry's magazines, flicking through the pages idly.
After a while, Draco and Ron just couldn't be bothered to fight anymore and went to sit down. They decided just to glare at eachother and pull faces.
The hours dragged by and the baby still wasn't making any apperances. Things had gotten so tragically boring that Ron had started to play Rock, Paper, Scissors with himself. Harry had fallen asleep and was now drooling over himself, Sirius had been teaching himself how to ballroom dance and Draco had beaten his head against the wall until he had finally passed out.
''My god, this is boring,''moaned Ron.
Harry woke startled from his sleep and wiped the river of drool off his face. ''I second you on that,''he said.
''Is Draco still passed out?''said Ron.
''Who cares?''said Harry.
Sirius gave a yawn. ''God, Harry,''he said. ''Even your birth was more exciting than this. Your father was a wreak and Remus was drunk and your mother hated everyone. It was quite funny. The plus was that we weren't waiting for thousands of years to come out, like this one.'' He threw a contemptous look at the passed out Draco. ''Trust a Malfoy to be late.''
''Don't blame the baby,''said Harry fairly. ''It's clearly Draco's fault.''
Everyone nodded in agreement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About three hours later, Draco woke up. He had a bruise on his head the size of an orange, and didn't look very pleased with life.
''Has the baby arrived yet?''he said, grumpily.
Sirius gave him a long glare. ''If it had, do you really think that we'd still be out here with you? For god's sake, Draco. I mean, I don't even want to be with you now, let alone later.''
Draco felt a little depressed and sat down on his chair. ''Bugger off, you pointless peasant,''he said.
Sirius scowled darkly. ''What did you just say?''he said, stung to hostility.
''I said you were a pointless peasant,''said Draco, nastily.
Sirius was seriously thinking about throwing Draco out of the nearest window. ''Bear in mind, Malfoy, that I'm bigger than you and could quite easily break your legs.''
Draco gave a mean laugh. ''Oh, now I'm scared! Big tough Sirius Black who couldn't even kill Peter Pettigrew!''
A protracted silence fell over everyone.
''How do you know about that?''
Draco blinked. ''I can honestly say that I have not a bloody clue,''he said. After this short spell of confusion he reverted back to being obnoxious again. ''Tell me, Sirius, how long has it been since you had sex?''
Sirius blushed. ''I'm not going to answer that question,''he said, pouting.
''Come on, how many years has it been? You can tell us - we won't laugh too hard.''
Harry shuddered. ''Please, Draco - I don't want to hear about my godfather's sex life.''
''Course you do!''said Draco, grinning evilly.
''No, really. I don't.''
Naturally, what Harry wanted was spectacularly ignored and Draco kept his attention focussed on mocking Sirius, who was in a profoundly bad mood at this point.
''I'm not telling you about my sex life, Malfoy,''he said.
''Yeah, it's hard to talk about a sex life when you havent't got one,''mused Draco.
''Piss off,''said Sirius.
''Cobweb cock.''
''Ferret-arse.''
''Impotent tramp.''
''Teenage father.''
Draco burst into tears. ''SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!''
Sirius looked rather pleased with himself. Draco was bawling like a child. Harry still wasn't noticing and neither was Ron. Both of them were beyond caring at this point.
Suddenly there was a baby's cry.
Everyone stopped what they were doing.
Draco was sick.
Harry and Ron passed out.
Sirius folded his paper. ''Thank fuck for that!''he exclaimed.
Madam Pomfrey came out into the hallway. She eyed them all, an eyebrow raised at Draco who was throwing up his guts into a particularly unlucky plant.
''Um . . . Mr Malfoy,''she said, glaring. ''Once you're done regurgitating curry into that plant, you should come and see your child.''
Draco stood up shakily. ''Oh god . . .''he whispered, his eyes blank. ''My life just flashed before your eyes . . .my youth, gone forever . . ''
Sirius threw his folded paper at Draco's head. The paper jabbed him in the eye. ''Bloody hell,''snapped Sirius. ''Be a man, Malfoy. It's a baby - not radioactive waste.''
''That's easy for you to say,''said Draco.
Draco followed Madam Pomfrey into the hospital wing to see a very tired looking Hermione holding a small bundle in her arms and cooing lovingly at it.
Draco could feel the bile rising in his throat again.
''It's a boy, Draco,''said Hermione, happily. Draco felt unnerved. Hermione had never actually smiled at him before and it scared him.
''Um . . . good?''
''Do you want to hold him?''said Hermione, still beaming in a way that terrified Draco.
''Um . . .ok,''said Draco, feeling disturbed. Hermione handed the tiny newborn to Draco. He held his son awkwardly in his arms. With his eyes half-closed with something like fear, he took his first proper look at his son.
It was a strange feeling. His heart felt like it had stopped. The baby looked so much like him - blond hair and grey eyes. The resemblence was uncanny. But all Draco could really think of was how much he really loved this tiny creature and how he would kill anyone who tried to hurt him. He was scared but elated. His son. His flesh and blood. A new Malfoy.
''Alright?''he said softly to the baby. ''I'm . . . um . . . I suppose you can call me dad.''
Hermione smiled at him and held out her arms to take the baby back. Draco reluctantely handed they're son to her and watched Hermione. She held they're son with such assurance. She'd raise him well, no doubt.
''Thought of any names?''said Draco.
Hemione paused for a moment then looked back to the baby. ''How about Jude?''she said.
Draco wrinkled his nose. ''Jude?''he said skeptically. ''How about no?''
Hermione scowled. ''Fine then smart-arse,''she said. ''You think of one.''
Draco pondered for a while before a smile appeared on his face. ''How about Stephan?''he said.
Hermione looked down at her son. ''It suits him,''she said. ''Stephan Malfoy . . .''
''I suppose the other idiots will want to see him now?''said Draco sulkily.
''Well, yes, of course,''said Hermione.
Draco groaned. ''Can't we just send them a bloody polaroid?''
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't know when the next chapter will be up, because I'm doing my GCSE's at the moment ( sulk ) but it will turn up in the end. Thanks for all the reviews! :-) They make me happyyyyyyy!
Luv Lux
xox
THE KNEE TREMBLER
Chapter 10 : Draco gets on everyone's bad side
Sirius had happily ordered himself, Ron, Harry and Draco an overlarge curry. Ron had gorged himself silly with it as had Sirius. Harry had picked at it, still absorbed in addictive crappy magazines. Draco had tried to choke himself with it, but had given up and eaten it instead.
Soon after he had been rather unceremoniously sick.
''Nerves is it?''said Sirius helpfully.
Draco gave an anguished wail. ''How can this be happening to me??''he sobbed. ''I'm too young for all this! This is just . . . wrong!''
Ron gave an annoyed sigh. ''Will you stop complaining for five minutes?''he said. ''If anyone should be whining then it should be Hermione, not you, you arse-faced weasel.''
''I have not got a face like an arse!''Draco cried.
''Yes you have,''said Ron. ''And you're skinny and weird and blond!''
''Well, at least I don't have to dance for pennies to feed my family, Weasley,''spat Draco nastily.
Ron went red. ''Don't start, Malfoy . . ''he said dangerously.
Draco was over the moon at having someone he could finally take his distress out on.
''Really Weasley? Don't start you say? I've already started, so tough shit!''
Harry rolled his eye, not bothering to get involved. Sirius watched with a vague interest.
''Tell me, Weasley, did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? Oh . .wait . . I forgot - you don't have a proper home, do you? You live in a mud hut, don't you?''
Ron was going scarlet at this point. ''I'm warning you, Malfoy . .''he said.
''It must be awful being as poor as you,''continued Draco. ''I mean . . .the last time you had a hot meal was when your little sister threw up, wasn't it? And your mother - dear lord! Now there's something that should be donated to scientific research! Actually . . .now that I think about it, are you parents brother and sister? I would explain an awful lot - ''
Ron gave a cry of fury and launched himself at Draco. The two of them grappled feebly on the floor for a while. Sirius didn't bother helping, as he found the whole thing rather funny and Harry barely noticed.
''STOP TALKING ABOUT MY FAMILY!!!!''
''WEASLEY'S A BUM! WEASLEY'S A GYPSY! WEASLEY DANCES FOR PENNIES!''
Crash. Bang. Wallop.
Sirius giggled then said, ''Come on now, break it up.''
He was completely ignored and took one of Harry's magazines, flicking through the pages idly.
After a while, Draco and Ron just couldn't be bothered to fight anymore and went to sit down. They decided just to glare at eachother and pull faces.
The hours dragged by and the baby still wasn't making any apperances. Things had gotten so tragically boring that Ron had started to play Rock, Paper, Scissors with himself. Harry had fallen asleep and was now drooling over himself, Sirius had been teaching himself how to ballroom dance and Draco had beaten his head against the wall until he had finally passed out.
''My god, this is boring,''moaned Ron.
Harry woke startled from his sleep and wiped the river of drool off his face. ''I second you on that,''he said.
''Is Draco still passed out?''said Ron.
''Who cares?''said Harry.
Sirius gave a yawn. ''God, Harry,''he said. ''Even your birth was more exciting than this. Your father was a wreak and Remus was drunk and your mother hated everyone. It was quite funny. The plus was that we weren't waiting for thousands of years to come out, like this one.'' He threw a contemptous look at the passed out Draco. ''Trust a Malfoy to be late.''
''Don't blame the baby,''said Harry fairly. ''It's clearly Draco's fault.''
Everyone nodded in agreement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About three hours later, Draco woke up. He had a bruise on his head the size of an orange, and didn't look very pleased with life.
''Has the baby arrived yet?''he said, grumpily.
Sirius gave him a long glare. ''If it had, do you really think that we'd still be out here with you? For god's sake, Draco. I mean, I don't even want to be with you now, let alone later.''
Draco felt a little depressed and sat down on his chair. ''Bugger off, you pointless peasant,''he said.
Sirius scowled darkly. ''What did you just say?''he said, stung to hostility.
''I said you were a pointless peasant,''said Draco, nastily.
Sirius was seriously thinking about throwing Draco out of the nearest window. ''Bear in mind, Malfoy, that I'm bigger than you and could quite easily break your legs.''
Draco gave a mean laugh. ''Oh, now I'm scared! Big tough Sirius Black who couldn't even kill Peter Pettigrew!''
A protracted silence fell over everyone.
''How do you know about that?''
Draco blinked. ''I can honestly say that I have not a bloody clue,''he said. After this short spell of confusion he reverted back to being obnoxious again. ''Tell me, Sirius, how long has it been since you had sex?''
Sirius blushed. ''I'm not going to answer that question,''he said, pouting.
''Come on, how many years has it been? You can tell us - we won't laugh too hard.''
Harry shuddered. ''Please, Draco - I don't want to hear about my godfather's sex life.''
''Course you do!''said Draco, grinning evilly.
''No, really. I don't.''
Naturally, what Harry wanted was spectacularly ignored and Draco kept his attention focussed on mocking Sirius, who was in a profoundly bad mood at this point.
''I'm not telling you about my sex life, Malfoy,''he said.
''Yeah, it's hard to talk about a sex life when you havent't got one,''mused Draco.
''Piss off,''said Sirius.
''Cobweb cock.''
''Ferret-arse.''
''Impotent tramp.''
''Teenage father.''
Draco burst into tears. ''SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!''
Sirius looked rather pleased with himself. Draco was bawling like a child. Harry still wasn't noticing and neither was Ron. Both of them were beyond caring at this point.
Suddenly there was a baby's cry.
Everyone stopped what they were doing.
Draco was sick.
Harry and Ron passed out.
Sirius folded his paper. ''Thank fuck for that!''he exclaimed.
Madam Pomfrey came out into the hallway. She eyed them all, an eyebrow raised at Draco who was throwing up his guts into a particularly unlucky plant.
''Um . . . Mr Malfoy,''she said, glaring. ''Once you're done regurgitating curry into that plant, you should come and see your child.''
Draco stood up shakily. ''Oh god . . .''he whispered, his eyes blank. ''My life just flashed before your eyes . . .my youth, gone forever . . ''
Sirius threw his folded paper at Draco's head. The paper jabbed him in the eye. ''Bloody hell,''snapped Sirius. ''Be a man, Malfoy. It's a baby - not radioactive waste.''
''That's easy for you to say,''said Draco.
Draco followed Madam Pomfrey into the hospital wing to see a very tired looking Hermione holding a small bundle in her arms and cooing lovingly at it.
Draco could feel the bile rising in his throat again.
''It's a boy, Draco,''said Hermione, happily. Draco felt unnerved. Hermione had never actually smiled at him before and it scared him.
''Um . . . good?''
''Do you want to hold him?''said Hermione, still beaming in a way that terrified Draco.
''Um . . .ok,''said Draco, feeling disturbed. Hermione handed the tiny newborn to Draco. He held his son awkwardly in his arms. With his eyes half-closed with something like fear, he took his first proper look at his son.
It was a strange feeling. His heart felt like it had stopped. The baby looked so much like him - blond hair and grey eyes. The resemblence was uncanny. But all Draco could really think of was how much he really loved this tiny creature and how he would kill anyone who tried to hurt him. He was scared but elated. His son. His flesh and blood. A new Malfoy.
''Alright?''he said softly to the baby. ''I'm . . . um . . . I suppose you can call me dad.''
Hermione smiled at him and held out her arms to take the baby back. Draco reluctantely handed they're son to her and watched Hermione. She held they're son with such assurance. She'd raise him well, no doubt.
''Thought of any names?''said Draco.
Hemione paused for a moment then looked back to the baby. ''How about Jude?''she said.
Draco wrinkled his nose. ''Jude?''he said skeptically. ''How about no?''
Hermione scowled. ''Fine then smart-arse,''she said. ''You think of one.''
Draco pondered for a while before a smile appeared on his face. ''How about Stephan?''he said.
Hermione looked down at her son. ''It suits him,''she said. ''Stephan Malfoy . . .''
''I suppose the other idiots will want to see him now?''said Draco sulkily.
''Well, yes, of course,''said Hermione.
Draco groaned. ''Can't we just send them a bloody polaroid?''
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't know when the next chapter will be up, because I'm doing my GCSE's at the moment ( sulk ) but it will turn up in the end. Thanks for all the reviews! :-) They make me happyyyyyyy!
Luv Lux
xox
