Disclaimer : I own nothing, and thanks to the people who stuck up for me when people were whining about people being OOC. Also, to the person who doesn't like Draco being suicidal, it's only a joke. I find the idea of Draco mincing off to the lake quite amusing really. Sorry, but it's my fic and I'll contort whoever I want muahahahahaha!
THE KNEE TREMBLER
Chapter 12 : Meet the parents. Again. Oh the joy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sirius trailed after Draco in a very unenthusiastic way. He didn't really mind if Draco threw himself into the lake, but Hermione had stated that she'd prefer Draco alive, rather than dead.
Sirius couldn't really understand her logic, but decided not to dwell on it too much.
Draco sat by the edge of the lake, staring into the water looking throughly depressed, until suddenly a tentacle launched itself out of the water and pulled Draco in roughly.
Draco gave a girlish squeal and waved his arms about.
"Sirius! You baboon's arse! HELP ME!"he wailed.
Sirius, rather pissed off at being referred to as a "baboon's arse", decided to watch Draco being thrown about by the Giant Squid, a sated smile on his face.
He examined his nails, deliberately ignoring Draco's pleads for help and womanly screams.
"SIII- RIIII-UUUUUUUS!!!"Draco screamed. "HEEEEEEELPP! THIS IS GETTING REEEALLLYYY PAINFULLLLL!!!"
"What's that you say, Draco? I'm beautiful beyond compare? Oh, I bet you say that to all the boys! Alright, you big flatterer. You've twisted my arm! I'll save you."
As Sirius was saying this, Draco's face adopted a highly unimpressed expression, despite the large amount of pain he was in.
Sirius gave a strange whistle and the squid dropped Draco like a sack of potatoes.
"Oof,"said Draco as he hit the ground.
Sirius sat Draco up and brushed some pondweed off his face.
"So,"he said. "Are you going to be a man and face your really weird parents, or are you going to be a big girl's blouse and try and drown yourself again."
With as much dignity as he could muster whilst covered in pondweed and soaking wet, Draco stood up and headed back to the lake.
Sirius grabbed him by the legs and shouted, "Ooooh no you don't."
Draco kicked and screamed like a girl as Sirius threw him over his shoulder and carried him back into Hogwarts.
"HATE YOOOOOOOO! HATE WORLD! HATE EVERYTHING !"Draco raged.
Sirius gave Draco a little thwak on the forehead.
"Shut up,"he said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Draco had composed himself, and picked all the alge off his head, he fell into a deep sleep, as did everyone else, seeing as the birth had taken a lot out of them.
Draco was awoken the next day by someone hitting him pretty viciously with a newspaper. He couldn't be arsed to stop them and went back to sleep.
When the person started hitting him with a shoe was more or less when Draco decided now was the time to get up.
"Whoever is doing that had better stop before I castrate them,"said Draco sleepily.
"Oh really?"came a nasty sounding drawl.
Draco gave yet another poncey scream, jumped up from his bed and hid behind the curtains.
"Dad???"he yelped. "What are you doing here??"
"What the letter said, you stupid boy,"said Lucius, sounding very put out.
"I can't remember,"said Draco, scratching his head. "I've just woken up. But seeing that you're here, I guess nothing good can come from it."
"I'm here to see that nasty little creature,"said Lucius disdainfully.
"Well, from what I know, Crabbe is in the Great Hall -"
"No, not him,"snapped Lucius, head in hands. "Try and remember what happened yesterday, you irritating child."
Draco stopped and had a good think. "I fell in the lake,"he said eventually.
"And why did you fall in the lake?"said Lucius encouragingly.
"Because you said you were coming to visit . . ."
"And . . .?? Oh come on, Draco, surely even you should get this one."
Draco did some more thinking until it finally came to him "Oooh yes! I had a baby, didn't I?"
It was then that his words had impact on him, causing him to pass out.
Lucius gave a sigh and levitated his son all the way over to the Ward, where Hermione was snoozing. On seeing Lucius, she gave a deep sigh and looked for an escape route.
Sadly she couldn't find out and just stuck to scowling.
"What happened to Draco?"she said, half concerned, half deeply amused.
"He remembered that he was a father,"said Lucius shortly. He peered round the room. "So where's this nasty little grandchild of mine then?"he said, rubbing his hands together.
Hermione was close to throwing something at Lucius's head, but pointed at the crib next to her bed instead.
Lucius edged up to the cradle as if approaching a very dangerous bomb and peered inside warily. His hardened features softened slightly when he saw Stephan.
"Well, at least the child's better looking than Draco was when he was born,"said Lucius. "Goodness what an ugly child my son was . . . couldn't look at him for days! It's rather sweet looking really . . ." After realising what he'd just said, Lucius composed himself. "So is it a boy or a girl?"
"Boy,"said Hermioned snappily.
Lucius grinned. "Ah-ha, good good, a boy to carry on the family name."
"I'm not marrying Draco,"said Hermione.
"Oh, I don't blame you,"said Lucius, glaring at his unconcious son. "Hideous boy that he is . . . I just want the child to have Malfoy for a last name."
"Right now I don't care,"said Hermione. "I'm tired and the last thing I want is you and him hovering around the place." She pointed a finger at Draco, who had begun to twitch.
Lucius glared at her for a moment, then gave a sharp nod. "Fine,"he said. "But you can tell him yourself when he comes around."
Suddenly Lucius looked around him, a confused expression on his face.
"I say,"he said. "Have you seen my wife anywhere?" He shuddered. "I'm certain she was here a moment ago . . ." Then it hit him. "Oh god I've left her in the carriage again! Honestly, I can't take her anywhere!"
And with that Lucius bolted from the ward back out into the grounds.
Draco opened one eye and looked around nervously. "Is he gone?"he whispered.
Hermione looked surprised, then amused. "You were faking being unconcious the whole time?"she grinned.
"Oh of course,"nodded Draco. "I used to do it all the time at home . . . you would've thought he'd catch on after seventeen years wouldn't you?" Draco thought about his last few words and remembered that Lucius had managed to forget his wife.
"Maybe not,"he said. Draco took a deep breath and stood up. "If my mother comes looking for me, I've died and you don't know where they took my body, alright?"
Hermione smiled and nodded. "Sure,"she said.
Draco gave Stephan a kiss, Hermione a grin and then ran like a greased up gopher shot out of a cannon.
Hermione shook her head and smiled at Stephan. "Your daddy is insane,"she said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well that's chapter 12 . . oy maloy I don't know how long this fic is gonna go on for. If anyone has any ideas for new chapters or a sequel then let me know. Urgh . . .
Anyway, new chapter shouldn't take me too long as I'm freeeeeeee as a moderately sized bird. Thank you for those who actually write constructive reviews, rather than the few people who write shite about things being too OOC. God that annoys the arse off me.
Anyway, later . .
Luv Lux
THE KNEE TREMBLER
Chapter 12 : Meet the parents. Again. Oh the joy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sirius trailed after Draco in a very unenthusiastic way. He didn't really mind if Draco threw himself into the lake, but Hermione had stated that she'd prefer Draco alive, rather than dead.
Sirius couldn't really understand her logic, but decided not to dwell on it too much.
Draco sat by the edge of the lake, staring into the water looking throughly depressed, until suddenly a tentacle launched itself out of the water and pulled Draco in roughly.
Draco gave a girlish squeal and waved his arms about.
"Sirius! You baboon's arse! HELP ME!"he wailed.
Sirius, rather pissed off at being referred to as a "baboon's arse", decided to watch Draco being thrown about by the Giant Squid, a sated smile on his face.
He examined his nails, deliberately ignoring Draco's pleads for help and womanly screams.
"SIII- RIIII-UUUUUUUS!!!"Draco screamed. "HEEEEEEELPP! THIS IS GETTING REEEALLLYYY PAINFULLLLL!!!"
"What's that you say, Draco? I'm beautiful beyond compare? Oh, I bet you say that to all the boys! Alright, you big flatterer. You've twisted my arm! I'll save you."
As Sirius was saying this, Draco's face adopted a highly unimpressed expression, despite the large amount of pain he was in.
Sirius gave a strange whistle and the squid dropped Draco like a sack of potatoes.
"Oof,"said Draco as he hit the ground.
Sirius sat Draco up and brushed some pondweed off his face.
"So,"he said. "Are you going to be a man and face your really weird parents, or are you going to be a big girl's blouse and try and drown yourself again."
With as much dignity as he could muster whilst covered in pondweed and soaking wet, Draco stood up and headed back to the lake.
Sirius grabbed him by the legs and shouted, "Ooooh no you don't."
Draco kicked and screamed like a girl as Sirius threw him over his shoulder and carried him back into Hogwarts.
"HATE YOOOOOOOO! HATE WORLD! HATE EVERYTHING !"Draco raged.
Sirius gave Draco a little thwak on the forehead.
"Shut up,"he said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Draco had composed himself, and picked all the alge off his head, he fell into a deep sleep, as did everyone else, seeing as the birth had taken a lot out of them.
Draco was awoken the next day by someone hitting him pretty viciously with a newspaper. He couldn't be arsed to stop them and went back to sleep.
When the person started hitting him with a shoe was more or less when Draco decided now was the time to get up.
"Whoever is doing that had better stop before I castrate them,"said Draco sleepily.
"Oh really?"came a nasty sounding drawl.
Draco gave yet another poncey scream, jumped up from his bed and hid behind the curtains.
"Dad???"he yelped. "What are you doing here??"
"What the letter said, you stupid boy,"said Lucius, sounding very put out.
"I can't remember,"said Draco, scratching his head. "I've just woken up. But seeing that you're here, I guess nothing good can come from it."
"I'm here to see that nasty little creature,"said Lucius disdainfully.
"Well, from what I know, Crabbe is in the Great Hall -"
"No, not him,"snapped Lucius, head in hands. "Try and remember what happened yesterday, you irritating child."
Draco stopped and had a good think. "I fell in the lake,"he said eventually.
"And why did you fall in the lake?"said Lucius encouragingly.
"Because you said you were coming to visit . . ."
"And . . .?? Oh come on, Draco, surely even you should get this one."
Draco did some more thinking until it finally came to him "Oooh yes! I had a baby, didn't I?"
It was then that his words had impact on him, causing him to pass out.
Lucius gave a sigh and levitated his son all the way over to the Ward, where Hermione was snoozing. On seeing Lucius, she gave a deep sigh and looked for an escape route.
Sadly she couldn't find out and just stuck to scowling.
"What happened to Draco?"she said, half concerned, half deeply amused.
"He remembered that he was a father,"said Lucius shortly. He peered round the room. "So where's this nasty little grandchild of mine then?"he said, rubbing his hands together.
Hermione was close to throwing something at Lucius's head, but pointed at the crib next to her bed instead.
Lucius edged up to the cradle as if approaching a very dangerous bomb and peered inside warily. His hardened features softened slightly when he saw Stephan.
"Well, at least the child's better looking than Draco was when he was born,"said Lucius. "Goodness what an ugly child my son was . . . couldn't look at him for days! It's rather sweet looking really . . ." After realising what he'd just said, Lucius composed himself. "So is it a boy or a girl?"
"Boy,"said Hermioned snappily.
Lucius grinned. "Ah-ha, good good, a boy to carry on the family name."
"I'm not marrying Draco,"said Hermione.
"Oh, I don't blame you,"said Lucius, glaring at his unconcious son. "Hideous boy that he is . . . I just want the child to have Malfoy for a last name."
"Right now I don't care,"said Hermione. "I'm tired and the last thing I want is you and him hovering around the place." She pointed a finger at Draco, who had begun to twitch.
Lucius glared at her for a moment, then gave a sharp nod. "Fine,"he said. "But you can tell him yourself when he comes around."
Suddenly Lucius looked around him, a confused expression on his face.
"I say,"he said. "Have you seen my wife anywhere?" He shuddered. "I'm certain she was here a moment ago . . ." Then it hit him. "Oh god I've left her in the carriage again! Honestly, I can't take her anywhere!"
And with that Lucius bolted from the ward back out into the grounds.
Draco opened one eye and looked around nervously. "Is he gone?"he whispered.
Hermione looked surprised, then amused. "You were faking being unconcious the whole time?"she grinned.
"Oh of course,"nodded Draco. "I used to do it all the time at home . . . you would've thought he'd catch on after seventeen years wouldn't you?" Draco thought about his last few words and remembered that Lucius had managed to forget his wife.
"Maybe not,"he said. Draco took a deep breath and stood up. "If my mother comes looking for me, I've died and you don't know where they took my body, alright?"
Hermione smiled and nodded. "Sure,"she said.
Draco gave Stephan a kiss, Hermione a grin and then ran like a greased up gopher shot out of a cannon.
Hermione shook her head and smiled at Stephan. "Your daddy is insane,"she said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well that's chapter 12 . . oy maloy I don't know how long this fic is gonna go on for. If anyone has any ideas for new chapters or a sequel then let me know. Urgh . . .
Anyway, new chapter shouldn't take me too long as I'm freeeeeeee as a moderately sized bird. Thank you for those who actually write constructive reviews, rather than the few people who write shite about things being too OOC. God that annoys the arse off me.
Anyway, later . .
Luv Lux