Chapter 4

As an author can be described as a stalker of characters (who the hell ever said that?!), we walked up the stairs of Cloud's Villa, and entered the shadowiest room. It was as black as a tainted soul.. And I bet we know just who's soul it was! With mood-setting 'crack!', a unusually long streak of lightning lighted up the room.

"My soul is on fire!!" Vincent yelled, running into the corner in which he had been staring at for the last 10 days straight. "My eyes!! My beautiful eyes!" He hissed, scratching manically at his peepers.

As the darkness returned to the room, much as the tar that had scarred his heart, Vincent relaxed as it surrounded him. Sweet, beautiful darkness. He smiled as he caressed it, but that grin disappeared as fast as it appeared.

"Idiot!" he slapped himself across the face. "How do you think you're supposed to maintain an image with all that smiling! Get a hold of yourself, Mona Lisa!"

He sighed with overpowering angst. It was that time of year again...that time of year when Tifa 'redecorates' your crap-shack to get you in the holiday spirit (although, it only succeeds to get him into the killing spirit), that time of year when Barret eats so much turkey, that the bathroom is occupied for hours afterward.... that time of year when he had to spend his precious money on losers, and only get DOZENS OF FRUITCAKES IN RETURN. Oh, how he loathed fruitcakes. How so many fruits could co-exist with each other in the same cake was above his reasoning. Such abominations of nature should never be eaten.

"If I have to go through another Christmas, I think I'll finally take up my minutely threat of killing myself." Vincent whispered in anguish. After all, every waking moment of his life was misery. "No more attention grabbing suicides! I'm gonna actually do it this year! And I don't mean wearing 80's fashion in the 21st century!"

He looked down at his parachute pants and frowned. "I've already committed fashion suicide! Noooo!!"

Shaking his raven locks with sadness, he resisted hammer time, and shed a bitter tear. The angst was so overpowering! He was definitely the king of drama.

"Oh! If only I had never been born! What a better world it would have been!" he exclaimed dramatically, his hands outstretched.

"And how!"

Vincent turned around to the voice sounding behind him. It was familiar, but he couldn't see the intruder, and began to squint as he said "Who dares intrude on the lair of the great Vincent Valentine?"

"Oh please, you're second-rate at best, Valentine. And what's with the dank? It wouldn't hurt you to turn on a light."

With a click of his bony fingers, the room lighted up revealing Hojo in all his glory, hovering nonchalantly. Vincent was sent into a panic once again.. But not because of his arch foe floating in the middle of his room.. no, that kind of thing hardly fazed him anymore.. But the lights had once again pierced his tainted body.

"My retina's!" Vincent yelled, falling over into immense pain. "You monster! The dank holds the sexiness!"

"Nonsense. You look exactly the same as you do in the dark." Hojo told him. Vincent looked up at him with puffy eyes twitching, and his tongue slipping in and out of his mouth like a lizard. Hojo winced "Eh.. Maybe I SHOULD turn the light back off."

"Please, thank you." Vincent muttered, crunched uncomfortably on the floor, the light making him totally helpless and moronic.

The lights turned off once again and Vincent sighed with relief. He was about the caress the dank anew, but resisted the temptation. Not with Blowjo in the room... he would only stink the dank up.

"So, you want to know what things would have been like if you had never been born?" Hojo questioned as he floated above him. Why oh why did he have to wear a dress?? Vincent shuddered inwardly, willing his eyes not to become adjusted to the darkness.

"Well, seeing as you 'hovered' in on my dramatic monologue, I'm willing to bet you heard me." Vincent snapped sarcastically.

"No need to be snippy, Valentine. I will show you everything." Hojo said mysteriously. "Take my hand and we shall begin."

Vincent stared at Hojo's hand with apprehension. Was he hitting on him?

"Come on. I don't bite.... well, no that's a lie. I bite rather hard."

Vincent screamed inside. He WAS hitting on him. He knew that men and women alike fancied his beautiful physic, but this was too much. He would take Cid's hand before laying a finger on Hojo. After all, if nothing else, Cid had his license. There was no way he was going to hover to the 7 Eleven.

Broken out of his musings, Hojo yelled to him. "I don't have all day, Frankenpire, I'm scheduled to host a seminar with Aliens Anonymous at 6. Move it!"

A/N: Sorry this one is so short, but I wanted to get another chapter in before Christmas. Happy Holidays!