Interesting Introductions

Humphrey was about to reply but at that moment Bernard arrived.

"Good morning Minister, Sir Humphrey," he said, nodding at both men in turn.

"Morning Bernard," said Jim. "Here in time to meet the new boy I see."

"New boy?" asked Bernard, looking from Jim to Humphrey.

"Yes Bernard," said Humphrey. "Your new colleague."

"Ah yes," said Bernard, as if suddenly remembering. "Oh by the way Sir Humphrey, there's a woman in the Private Office. She looks a bit upset about something. Says she's here to see you actually."

"Well no wonder she's upset," said Jim with a grin.

Humphrey glared at the Minister.

"I mean... er... um... of course..." Jim stuttered.

Fortunately Humphrey chose to ignore his comments and picked up the telephone. He pressed 1 and told the receiver of the call to send the woman in.

"Do you know who she is?" asked Bernard.

"Yes Humphrey," said Jim. "She could be anybody."

"Of course I know who it is," replied Humphrey with a smile.

The door to Jim's office opened. One of the Under Secretaries came in followed by a young woman. He smiled in Humphrey's direction then left.

Jim took a second to regard the woman. She looked in her mid twenties, expensively dressed in a pinstriped skirt suit with a white blouse. She had curly brown hair and wore round glasses with a gold frame. She looked like a Civil Servant Jim thought. He also noticed that she appeared to be crying.

Humphrey had crossed the room and was standing next to the woman.

"Why Hen," he said gently. "Whatever is the matter?"

The woman sniffed.

"I've just," she gulped. "I've just been talking to Sir... Sir Arnold."

"Ah," said Humphrey. "Come and sit down my dear."

He put a kindly arm on her shoulder and led her over to Jim's Conversation area. Jim and Bernard followed.

Humphrey motioned for the woman to sit and she did. Humphrey, Jim and Bernard sat down too. Humphrey took his handkerchief from his top pocket and offered it to her. She accepted it and took off her glasses and began to dab her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she began before bursting into a flood of tears.

Bernard, who was sitting next to her, was suddenly startled to find that she had thrown herself into his arms and was sobbing onto his shoulder. A look of panic spread accross his face and he looked desperately to Humphrey and Jim for help.

Humphrey got up from his chair and gently prised the crying woman off Bernard and knelt before her.

"It's alright my dear," he said softly. "You should really know by now that you should ignore Arnold."

Jim and Bernard looked at one another shocked. "Ignore Arnold?!" Now that was a new one!

The woman nodded and sniffed into Humphrey's handkerchief.

Humphrey turned to Bernard.

"Could you show Miss Fairfax where she can freshen up?" It wasn't a question.

Bernard got to his feet.

"Er, of course," he said. "Come right this way madam."

The woman too rose to her feet and followed Bernard out of Jim's office.

Jim, who until that point had been silent throughout the whole episode, decided to speak.

"Humphrey," he said looking at the door where Bernard and the crying woman had exited. "Would you care to explain exactly what just happened there?"

"Well Minister," said Humphrey, turning to look at him. "I know that it's not the best way to meet your new Private Secretary but..."

"That's my new Private Secretary?" asked Jim, shocked. "But didn't you say new 'boy' earlier?"

"Yes Minister," replied Humphrey. "But that was merely a Civil Service term and of course the influence of Miss Fairfax's father."

"Miss Fairfax?" asked Jim.

"Miss Henrietta Fairfax," said Humphrey. "Daughter of Sir Michael Fairfax, a former Permanent Secretary."

"Ah," said Jim beginning to understand. Then he thought of something Humphrey had said. "Her father's influence? What influence?"

"Henrietta is Sir Michael's only child and he rather thought of her as a son rather than a daughter," explained Humphrey. "He calls her Henry."

"I see," replied Jim, not really seeing at all.

"Why all the tears?" asked Jim.

Humphrey was about to answer when the door to the office opened once again and Bernard and Henrietta entered. They came up to Jim's desk and he noticed that Henrietta wore expensive perfume to match her expensive suit.

"Feeling better my dear?" asked Humphrey.

"Yes thank-you Uncle Humphrey," replied Henrietta with a smile.

"Uncle Humphrey?" asked Jim and Bernard with an air of shock in their voices. They looked from Humphrey to Henrietta and back to Humphrey again.

Humphrey merely smiled.

"If I could just introduce everyone," he said. "Hen, this is Mr Jim Hacker, the Minister for Administrative Affairs and your new master, I mean boss. And this is Bernard Woolley, the Minister's Private Secretary and will be your closest colleague."

He turned from Henrietta to Jim.

"Minister, may I introduce Miss Henrietta Fairfax, your Assistant Private Secretary and my Goddaughter."

"Goddaughter?" echoed Jim, still with and air of shock.

Henrietta held out her hand to Jim. He leaned over his desk and shook it courteously.

"Very pleased to meet you Mr Hacker," she said with a smile. "I'm very much looking forward to working with you. I've heard so much about the department from Uncle Humphrey."

"Very pleased to meet you Henrietta," said Jim, also smiling. "I may call you that?"

"Call me Hen," she replied. "Everyone else does. Except Daddy of course."

"Bernard will you take Hen to her desk and show her where she can find everything?" asked Humphrey.

Bernard looked as though he had been shaken out of a dream. He had been staring at Hen silently all through the introductions.

"Yes, yes of course," he replied, and once again showed Hen out of Jim's office.

"Godfather eh?" asked Jim as soon as the door had closed.

"Yes," replied Humphrey. "Sir Michael and I have been great friends for many years. It was an honour to be asked to be his daughter's Godfather."

"Hmm," said Jim. "You never got to answer my question."

"What question was that Minister?" asked Humphrey.

"Why all the tears," said Jim."

"As you will be aware Minister," said Humphrey. "All new Civil Servants must report to Sir Arnold before being posted to his or her department."

Jim wasn't aware of this but nodded anyway.

"Arnold has a reputation for being, well let's just say, a little on the heavy-handed side with new boys," continued Humphrey.

"Or girls," interrupted Jim.

"Quite," said Humphrey.

"But surely he can't be all that heavy-handed," asked Jim. "Not enough to reduce a new boy as you put it, to tears."

"In Hen's case Arnold may have been slightly more heavy-handed than usual," said Humphrey.

"Because she's a woman?" asked Jim. Memories of the Sarah Harrison fiasco sprang to his mind.

"No because Sir Michael chose me as Hen's Godfather over him," said Humphrey. "He's never quite gotten over it. He and Michael went back even further and Michael and I do."

"But that's no reason to take it out on poor Hen," said Jim. "I mean she didn't ask you to be her Godfather."

"I suggest you tell Sir Arnold that then Minister," said Humphrey.

Jim fell silent. Something like that would be akin to signing one's own death warrant. Or at least one's career death warrant.

To be contined...

For Laura (if she can stay awake long enough!)!x