Just like buses... you wait for one chapter of a fic to come along and you get two! :)

Enjoy!x

"Minister, Sir Humphrey," said Bernard breathlessly as he rushed into the office. "Apologies for my lateness."

"Ah Bernard," said Jim with a smile. "Find your way around Selfridges alright?"

Bernard's eyes widened.

"I'm... I'm sorry?" he stuttered.

"Don't worry Bernard!" said Jim brightly. "Hen told us all about it. Got you running after her already has she?"

He burst into a fir of laughter.

Humphrey coughed.

"May I ask what your intentions with regards to Miss Fairfax are?" he asked.

Bernard's eyes widened further.

"I don't know what you..." he began.

"He means Bernard," said Jim, recovering from his laugher fit. "Do you fancy her?"

Bernard's face turned scarlet. Humphrey's eyes narrowed angrily.

"Don't answer that Bernard," he said. "We don't want to know your sordid thoughts."

"Oh but we do," said Jim.

"We don't," snapped Humphrey.

Jim turned to Bernard.

"Bernard?" he asked.

Bernard looked at his feet. For once he didn't know how to answer without saying a committed yes or no.

"Well I, that is being me, myself, must admit to having certain thoughts, feelings, towards the subject in question. The subject being of course a fellow colleague with whom I must carry out my administrative duty, but must admit to feeling more than just colleagues' comradeship," he said.

"You DO fancy her!" said Jim grinning widely.

Humphrey was on his feet. His face was red too, but out of anger rather than embarrassment. He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Well do you?" he asked Bernard.

Bernard, still looking at his feet swallowed.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Oh. My. God," said Humphrey in disbelief as he sat down again. He did so before he fell down.

Jim was almost falling off his seat with laughter.

"Oh God," he breathed through his laughter. "Oh God... He's... he's under the thumb already!"

He pulled out his handkerchief from his top pocket and buried his face into it, shaking with laughter.

"I don't think this is very funny Minister," shouted Humphrey.

"Oh come now Humphrey," said Jim. "She is after all a very beautiful woman. You should know that Humphrey."

"Yes well of c..." Humphrey started. "I hardly think that is here nor there Minister."

"Anyway Bernard," said Jim. "You never know, our dear Hen may be secretly in love with you!"

"I hardly think so Minister," said Humphrey.

"Oh what would you know?" asked Jim. "I hardly think she'd discuss prospective boyfriends with you."

"He's not her type," Humphrey almost spat out the words.

"What do you mean type?" asked Jim.

"He means NQOCD," said Bernard softly, continuing to find his shoes or the carpet fascinating.

"Eh?" asked Jim, confused.

"Not Quite Our Class Dear," whispered Bernard.

"Oh come now Bernard," said Jim. "You were both at Oxford. And Hen doesn't seem the type to bother about that sort of thing anyway."

"It's not Hen I'm talking about," said Bernard sadly. His eyes flickered in Humphrey's direction for a second.

"How dare you accuse me..." began Humphrey, rising from his seat again, pointing an accusing finger at Bernard.

"Well its true isn't it," said Bernard, his normally calm, patient nature snapping. He moved forwards a little in Humphrey's direction.

Jim sensed trouble starting and he too got up from his desk. He walked over to stand in between his warring Civil Servants – the peaceful mediator. He held up his hands in both men's directions.

"Now come on gentlemen," he said calmly. "This is all getting a bit much is it not?"

Humphrey and Bernard glaring at each other angrily didn't answer.

Again this little chapter is for my reviewers and the lovely Laura (who incidently is going to be 21 on Monday so I better get off my lazy ass and go out and buy her a present!)

Luv Claire!x