Whenever I Say Your Name, Chapter 3
:::::Flashback: Atlantis (After the events of Home):::::
"Hey Doc...Dr. Weir?...Elizabeth!"
John finally succeeds in getting Dr. Weir's attention. She jumps a little in her chair and turns quickly toward him. Elizabeth clearly didn't hear him enter her office.
"John," she says in a startled gasp. "Uh…Major. What can I do for you?"
Sheppard makes a point of closing her office door before sitting in the chair in front her desk. He's noticed that she's been a little out of it since their fake trip home.
"Well…you can start by telling me what's on your mind. You've seemed a little preoccupied since we got back from the planet. Feeling homesick?" John guesses. He knows she went back to Simon during their time in the false realities - they went over that during the briefings. Sheppard has to quickly stamp down the jealousy that he shouldn't be feeling.
"No," Elizabeth says with a small smile. She doesn't miss the flash of emotion that crosses his features when he assumes she's thinking about Simon. She's sure the look identical to the one she gets whenever he mentions spending time with Teyla. Elizabeth can't help but wonder when they'll stop being so juvenile. Or when she'll stop being a coward.
"I'm not feeling homesick," she continues. "Quite the opposite, actually."
"You've been spacing out because you're not homesick?" John gives her a look like he's not quite sure she's still sane.
"No." Elizabeth rolls her eyes at Sheppard. "I've been distracted because I'm feeling guilty about not being homesick for Earth."
John's brow furrows, so she continues.
"The whole time I was 'home', all I could think about was coming back to Atlantis."
"The grass is always greener?" John asks.
"See…I don't think that's it," responds Weir. "It's what I've been thinking about. I knew there was always hope that we'd make a connection to Earth again, but…"
"But you never really believed it," Sheppard finishes. Elizabeth shrugs and the reality of the sutation hits John. "You've always thought this was a one-way trip." He has a hard time believing that Dr. Weir could be so pessimistic.
"I've been telling myself and everyone else for months that Atlantis is home. I guess I truly believe that now because the thought of not being able to come back here, that you didn't want me back, was painful."
Elizabeth's words pierce right through John. The idea that he, even a fake version of himself, could purposely hurt her is unimaginable.
"I'd never do that," he states vehemently.
"I know that John," Weir reassures him. "That's one of the ways I knew that something was wrong."
"As long as we're clear on that."
Elizabeth has to fight hard not to smile at John's indignant tone. It was clear during the briefing that he had serious issues with portions of her fake reality. He took offense that anyone, evenGeneral Hammond, could convince Weir that Sheppard would willingly undermine her authority on Atlantis.
"What about Simon?" John can't help but ask.
Sadness comes over Elizabeth's features and John somewhat regrets asking her the question. But at the same time, there's a big part of him that needs to know what her answer is.
"I actually told Simon not to wait for me in the video that I sent him." Elizabeth lets out a derisive little chuckle. "Funny that I apparently still expected him to wait."
"Can't really blame the guy. I know I'd wait for you," Sheppard says before he can stop himself.
Elizabeth's eyes widen and she blushes. John is about to open his mouth and try to stumble through an embarrassing retraction when she gives him one of her brilliant smiles. It's one of the ones that make her eyes sparkle and he's left speechless, smiling goofily back at her.
Elizabeth, as usual,is the first one to break eye contact and redirect their conversation.
"So enough about me…what was it that you came here for in the first place?"
The suddenly guilty look on Sheppard's face makes Dr. Weir's eyes narrow accusingly.
"Major Sheppard," she says in her most commanding voice. "Is there something you need to tell me?"
John looks away and mumbles something under his breath. The only thing that Elizabeth can partially make out is the word "McKay".
"What was that about Dr. McKay?"
"Um…" Sheppard rubs the back of neck and repeats his comment with a grimace. "We kind of lost McKay in one of the transporters."
TBC...
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No, I'm not going to get into what happened with McKay and the transporters in future chapters. Just thought I'd throw that in there as one of the wacky things I could see happening in Atlantis. But you never know...that could be another story. :-)