"Mommy," said Kaede, "I'm going to sell my Kikyos today."

"Why?" Kaede's mom asked.

"Well, obviously, because a walnut who is also a priestess would be worth a lot of money, right? Plus, I'm saving up for that dirt bike."

Kaede's mother just shook her head.

"Anybody want to buy a walnut?" Kaede asked vainly an hour later. "Or a grapefruit, or a pear? Only 100,000 Yen each."

Shoppers just looked at her grumpily as they passed. Kaede was on the brink of giving up, yet she was shocked that no one wanted her Kikyos. I mean, come on, Kaede thought. Who wouldn't want a nice yummy—

Her thoughts were interrupted suddenly.

"Are you Kaede?" a voice asked.

Kaede jumped and looked up. Hmm. She'd never seen him before. He was a weird guy with long black hair, and a purple vest.

"I'm Naraku," the man said, noticing her look. "And you've been selling these, erm, replicas…"

"Not replicas," Kaede interrupted. "Priestesses."

"Erm, yes, priestesses," Naraku said, "And so I am here to drag you off to the Institution Against Kikyo Being a Walnut, or the IAKAW. They'd like to have, um, a word with you."

And so saying, he grabbed her by the shirt and dragged her off. Kaede managed to grab her Kikyos in time, though.

"I got 'er," Naraku said about a day later to a guard standing at a gate. Their journey had been was so long.

"Ah, the girl?" said the guard knowingly. "Pass, pass."

Naraku nodded, and took Kaede into a building beyond the gates.

It was a conference room, Kaede could tell, as there was a large table in the middle, and many people seated around it. Naraku placed Kaede at the front of the long, long table and then took a seat at her right.

"The IAKAW monthly meeting has begun," said a loud voice from the other end of the room. "And we have with us this girl, who claims to have many… um… detachments of Kikyo."

Kaede turned towards the sound, and saw a monk, dressed in a purple and black robe, with a seal over his right hand.

"She is our first order of business. Naraku, what precisely was the offense?"

"She was selling," Naraku said importantly, "Walnuts, grapefruits, and other food items, and claimed them to be Kikyo."

There was a loud snort. Kaede saw it was from that weird lady who had shot an arrow into her house earlier.

"May I have a say, Miroku?" the weird lady asked. Miroku nodded gravely. "Yes, Kikyo."

"Thank you. Now, young lady, let me make this absolutely clear. I am a vegetarian. You understand?"

Kaede nodded, although she couldn't see what that had to do with anything.

"And furthermore," Kikyo said sternly, "A certain author started this whole rumor, the one that says I am a walnut. A certain author… ahem ahem and it is just a rumor."

Kaede frowned. O-kaaaay. Talk about weird, she thought. But… "Wait!" she said suddenly. "Is a walnut even a fruit?"

Miroku scowled. "Well?" he asked the man on his right. "Is it?"

The man shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"All right!" said Miroku loudly. "There's only one way to settle this."

Everyone held their breath.

"With a pie eating contest."