I'm Re-re-re doing this thing! So...my like... two fans might be happy. If they are still around.

/thoughts/

(comments)

don't own them. just renting.

Today was a normal day in the Ishtar household…well as normal as a normal day can get can get when you live with an insane homo-cidaly little brother.

It became a routine that every morning on opening Malik's door, Isis would find either Malik and Bakura passed out in a puddle of beer or Maliks's pet Cobra trying to kill him in his sleep. Fluffy never got very far but... Isis worried that day that Malik and Bakura might drink a little too much the night before and that Fluffy just...might...you know...

Malik was dreaming about a certain albino haired thief while said Cobra slowly slithered up Malik's neck, opened it's mouth (revealing two sharp dripping fangs) and...

"Get the hell off of me!" said Malik affectionately petting the king sized cobra. Making cutizes noises Malik held Fluffy up close to his nose like a cat lady would hold a kitten.

"Were you trying to kill me in my sleep again? Yes you were! Yes you were!"

The cobra stared at malik while forming in its one-track mind another way to kill its master. "Good cobra!" Malik cooed kissing the scaly snake nose, before casually throwing Fluffy across the room at Isis. "Oh well, better luck next time."

"GET RID OF THAT DAMN COBRA!" Shrieked Isis and slammed the door.

Isis sighed, holding her head in her hands. /no Isis! I don't want a puppy! I wanna cobra! Why?! Why a cobra!?/

At breakfast Malik poared himself a bowl of Fruit Loops while Fluffy made his way to his food bowl. Bakura waltzed from only 'Ra knows where,' opened the fridge, pulled out a beer, sat next to Malik, and began drinking at a very fast rate ignoring the surprised shrieks coming from Isis who after 2 years still wasn't used to Bakura randomly appearing. Actually they might've been shrieks of anger but...whatever.

"WHY CAN'T YOU USE A DOOR LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING!"? Screamed Isis clutching her chest as a sign she nearly had a heart attack.

"Why should I have to?" Asked Bakura smirking. "It's my boyfriend's apartment so I can come in anyway and anytime I want to. Plus Ryou's freaked out and locked the door again."

Isis rolled her eyes at that statement. "Ryou's such a drama queen and you two are hardly a couple. You're more fuck-buddies then anything else"

Malik grinned in a perverted way at Bakura, "hear that? We're fuck-buddies Bakura…" Bakura growled and pounced on Malik knocking him to the floor.

"Oh for crying out loud-NOT ON THE FLOOR!" Isis dragged Bakura off Malik, "I just got them cleaned and disinfected from last time!" Both Malik and Bakura groaned and Isis threw Bakura back out the window. Five minutes and twenty bullet shots later Bakura came back in with a hole in his arm, wearing a bloody police hat.

"The police have surrounded the house again." said Bakura calmly shoving the police hat on Malik, completely ignoring the bullet hole in his arm. Malik squealed like a little girl and hugged Bakura. "You beat up a police man just for me Bakura?"

Bakura shrugged and put his arm around Malik's tiny Man-Girl shoulders "Yeah, sure, whatever".

Isis held her head in her hands and sighed "What have you done now?"

Malik glared and put on a hurt look. " How could you think we did anything? I for one am insulted by these outrageous and outlandish-"

"-Cut the drama queen act and tell me what you did."

"Your landlord squealed on us, by the way... I wouldn't recommend using the strange meat in the refrigerator. Said Malik taking another spoonful of Fruit Loops.

Isis paused,"Aren't you going to do anything about that wound Bakura-OH MY GOD! IT'S ALL OVER THE FLOOR! BAKURA! IF THAT STAINS I'M GOING TO SEND YOU TO HELL!"

Bakura shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "Been there, done that, bought the Tee-shirt."

"Wait… what's wrong with that meat? I was going to take some for hamburgers at the company picnic today." questioned Isis suspiciously... /If they did anything to that meat I swear I'll shove my foot right up their little .../

Malik stared at Isis with a strange look of disgust, twisted humor, and pity.

"what?"

……No answer. The two boys just stared at Isis with that strange look on their faces.

"...!!"

"YOU TWO ARE SICK!" screamed Isis as she ran to throw up in the bathroom. "I'm taking that to the company picnic!"

"well, tell them it was chicken" Said Bakura grinning, "It always worked for me when Ryou questioned where all the meat came from and if I had anything to do with all the pets in the neighborhood suddenly vanishing. Foolish Gullible Ryou..."

Suddenly the cops burst in "FREEZE! BAKURA AND MALIK ISHTAR YOU'RE BOTH ARE UNDER ARREST FOR...uh...Hey Bob what did they do again?…Really? Oh wow… WE DON'T KNOW FOR SURE BUT YOU'RE BOTH STILL IN A LOT OF TROUBLE!"

"Crap!" Cursed Bakura jumping up, "they got through our barrier of human children Malik!"

"Don't worrry" Said Malik easing into a martial arts position taken from a Jackie Chan movie. "We can take them easily"

IN JAIL

"Oh we can take them, don't worry!" said Bakura sarcastically mimicking Malik's girlish voice rolling his eyes to emphasize the point

"Shut up" snapped Malik trying to keep away from a seven-foot... man in a sailor outfit by the name of Susie the Sailor "AND YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

"Your hair is so pretty!!!!" screeched Susie "I can't wait to make it prettyful!"

"Touch him and I rip every limb of your body " growled Bakura grabbing him by one of the puffythings on Susie's...colorful uniform.

Unfortunately for Bakura and Malik however, a guard just happened to walk by and hear Bakura threaten the jail's most..popular...prisoner.

"Hey you!" Yelled the guard who for our purposes we shall call Dumb-ass

"No threaten other prisoners! I'm going to have you..." Dumb-ass exclamied opening the cell, "moved to another cell!"

Now Bakura being Bakura was not the type to be bossed around (especially by someone called Dumb-ass) so ten minutes later five cops dragged Bakura off to a different cell leaving poor Malik at the mercy of the fruity sailor known as Susie

After the five cops threw Bakura (literally) into his new cell, Bakura flicked a certain finger at the cops "FUCK YOUR MOTHERS! "

"Such a dirty, dirty mouth Bakura…"

Bakura's eyes widened with suprise...

"I know that voice!", he turned around to see Pegasus and three of the biggest and gayest looking men in the world. Pegasus smirked like a shark "Welcome Bakura… to my little gang"

That's it for tonight! More later..