Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing, but hope to one day buy it with my vast fortune (shyeah, right...).
Author's note: This is fluff, but has a bit of drama and angsty stuff in it too; not at all my usual style, but I hope you like it anyway. While this could fit into the manga and contains a manga-only character, it fits more comfortably into the anime. The story takes place shortly after Jan and Luke Valentine made their murderous (but failed) assault on Hellsing HQ.
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I made my way up the dusty stairway, swatting a few cobwebs out of my way as I went. Wasn't Walter supposed to clean this place?! Still, the poor man does fairly well considering he handles the upkeep of this old place almost singlehandedly... I had checked her room first, but she wasn't home. Neither was she resting in her coffin/bed. Finally, I turned to Walter in hopes that he might know where she had gone.
"Well, Mr. Ferguson, you might check the roof. The night sky seems to make Ms. Victoria feel at peace, and she often ventures there to clear her head."
I imagine that she would have a lot to clear after today. Between what I could glean from the troops, and from what Mr. Bernadette told me, Seras Victoria has not had the best of days...
I finally reached the end of the stairway, marked by a large window. Putting my flashlight into my sling, I tried to lift it with my free hand. Good Lord! This bugger is heavy!!! Grrr... got it! Whew... With Seras's strength, she probably wouldn't even notice its weight. Venturing outside, I carefully stepped onto the roof. There was only a slight breeze...good. A man of my age ought not to be here at all, much less with the wind blowing! I carefully made my way around, trying to stay as far away from the sides as possible.
As I turned the corner around a chimney, I saw her. She was sitting there with her face on her knees, and it looked like she was sobbing. Quietly and carefully, I tiptoed toward her. She was apparently too preoccupied with whatever was troubling her to even notice my approach, which is saying something, considering the sharpness of a vampire's hearing... As I neared, I saw that my earlier assumption was right; she was sobbing, and uncontrollably. I hesitated for a second, then placed my hand on her shoulder.
"Is something the matter, Officer Victoria?" I quietly asked.
I apparently startled her, for she jumped noticably.
"C-Commander Ferguson! Wha--what are you doing up here?!" she stammered.
I looked at my Senior Officer carefully; from the red rings around her eyes, I judged that she had been crying for quite a while. I suppose I should have expected this; although she has a very strong spirit, Ms. Victoria is still only a young girl. Having been subjected to a nightmare experience for the past month, and put into situations that could break the strongest of men, it was only a matter of time before she emotionally broke down.
"Some of the men have told me that you've had a tough time of it today, Miss Victoria." I said.
"It's nothing, sir! Really!" she tried to assure me (rather unconvincingly).
"Come, now, Seras," I replied. "You can tell me; it usually makes one feel better to get such things off one's chest."
"Commander..." she sniffled. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thank you..."
It was then that I noticed something very odd: Seras was crying clear tears. While this is obviously normal for most people, it most certainly is not for a vampire. I have been hunting nosferatu for over thirty years now, and on the rare occasion when they wept, they always cried blood tears. So why did Seras...? Oh, never mind; I'll consider it later...
Drawing her knees up, she said, "I'm sorry; I shouldn't let it upset me. It's just that today has been a case example of 'too many straws on one camel's back', if you know what I mean..."
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"It actually started before I even woke up. You see, I had another nightmare about that night in Cheddar. I saw all of those things I'd tried so hard to forget: my friends dying and becoming ghouls, their trying to eat me, and my hiding in that church, only to find out that was where that horrible vampire 'priest' was. I saw Alucard there, too; how they shot him until he was in pieces, killing my only hope of escape. The dream ended when Master shot that silver slug through my lung. I woke up in a cold sweat; I didn't know that I could sweat anymore...
Needless to say, this wasn't the nicest way to start the day, and it didn't get any more fun. You know how overworked we've been ever since the attack; it's from sunset to sunrise without a moment for a break. Today was no different; I think we exterminated six freak-chipped humans all told. The second must have been a true monster; he ran into a crowded elevator while we were chasing him, and by the time it got to the bottom floor, the thing was dripping blood. He killed everybody in that elevator, draining them so he'd stand a better chance against us. One of the men put a silver bullet through his head, and everyone started leaving to go after the next freak...everyone except me that is. (sobbing) I--I don't know what came over me; I know I hadn't eaten lately, but... I couldn't take my eyes off of the blood. There was so much of it...so much! I wanted to get down on my knees and lick every drop of it up, letting it stain my teeth and flow down my throat! If Pip hadn't... He noticed that I was acting very strangely, and he asked 'Is somezing zee matter, police girl?' That snapped me out of it... But if he hadn't come along...I....I..."
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I saw that she was getting quite upset again, so I thought I'd better divert her attention.
"It's all right!" I said. "The fact that you didn't give in to that urge is quite a testimony to your willpower, Ms. Victoria. Take a second to collect yourself before you continue."
"Thank you, sir..." she replied.
What she just told me helped Mr. Bernadette's report make far more sense. He said that after one of the vampires had been eliminated, Seras had seemed hypnotized by part of the crime scene. He said there was an unnatural look in her eyes (other than their red color), and he asked if she was alright. She came back to herself, but seemed very shaken, and asked to be excused.
"I'm ready now," she said, interrupting my thoughts.
"Fine, Seras. Continue!"
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"After that, I went back to the APC (Armored Personnel Carrier) and drank down a pint of medical blood. I didn't want to have to go through that experience at the elevator later that day. Then, as we were about to move out to hunt the next freak, I grabbed the Halconnen's case, and a horrible burning sensation shot through my hand. I dropped the case, but the burning didn't stop! I looked at my hand; through the smoke I saw an American 'silver dollar' covered in rubber cement. I finally pried it off, but badly burned my other fingers doing so."
She took off her gloves and showed me. Most of her fingertips were red, occasionally blistered. Her palm was quite a bit worse; in the center of her palm was the visible imprint of Susan B. Anthony, surrounded by a nasty, raw burn. What kind of sick bastard would pull this kind of prank?!
"This is entirely unacceptable," I growled. "If you know who did it, tell me; I'll see to it that they are disciplined harshly."
"Not necessary, sir," she replied, smiling weakly. "You know how quickly I heal; by tommorrow the wound will be completely gone. Besides, the matter has already been dealt with! It was two of the 'new recruits', our mercenaries. When they saw me drop the case, they started laughing and made some remark about 'money burns holes people's pockets and in vampires' hands', or something to that effect. Several of the regular troops heard them; (ha! ha!) pardon my language, but they beat the ever-living shit out of those two! They also helped me treat the burn on my hand." Remembering this moment of kindness made Seras smile.
I had to smile in turn. "The regulars know you, Seras. They know you would stick your neck out for them, and would gladly do the same for you."
Ack! "Stick their necks out"?! Of all the unfortunate figures of speech! Luckily, Seras didn't seem to notice this Freudian slip.
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"I know, sir, and I really appreciate it," she continued. "That helped make the rest of the day a little more bearable. It was hard work, and I had to avoid using my left hand, but we managed to get rid of 5 more freaks without incident. The sixth, however, was different. The target vampire was a young man; he had taken a family of four hostage and threatened to kill them if we didn't leave immediately. He had already murdered nearly a dozen people before we found him; if we had left, he'd have killed the family regardless, so we stormed the house. By the time we reached and destroyed him, he had killed all of them except one little girl. She was very young (I'd say about six), and she was frightened out of her wits.
When I came closer to her, she started screaming at me that 'if you'd just left, he wouldn't have killed Mommy and Daddy and Danny'. (tears welling up in her eyes) I tried to explain to her that he was a bad man, that it wouldn't have made any difference to him, but she couldn't understand. What little kid could understand that their family was dead, and that there was no way to prevent it? Finally, she quit yelling and just started crying... I started to pick her up, tried to tell her that everything would be okay... She must have seen my fangs, because she started screaming... Pip and some of the other troops tried to calm her down, but she wouldn't until 'the monster' left..."
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Tears were dripping down Seras's face, but she maintained her composure through sheer willpower. I truly didn't know what to tell her, but resolved to comfort her as best I could.
"She was young, Seras. She didn't know what she was saying; honestly, few people should be held accountable for their actions under such circumstances," I said.
Seras sighed. "It would be okay if it were just her, Mr. Ferguson, but that's not the case. Everyone, young or old, looks at me and sees a monster. They don't bother talking to me or getting to know me; as soon as they see the fangs, their mind is made up. The worst part is that I can't honestly blame them. I mean, look at me! I have bright red eyes. I have canine teeth that are nearly an inch too long. I could probably bench-press a bus if I had to. Silver and crucifixes burn me, and bright sunlight makes me really, really sick! I have to drink other people's blood just to stay alive! No matter how much I wish I were still human, I've got to face facts."
My thoughts raced back to the first two missions with Hellsing that Seras had participated in. I remembered how critical I had been of this unseasoned "bloodsucker", the thoughtless comments I had made, and one statement in particular.
"Fire, Seras! It's time to prove that you're not just another monster..."
Filled with shame, I could no longer bring myself to look her in the eyes.
Seras's tears started flowing faster as her composure slowly disentigrated. "If...if Hellsing hadn't recruited me...supplied me with medical blood...who's to say that I wouldn't be just like the freaks I hunt?! I just have to face it commander; I'm n-not human... I'm a monster..."
Seras hung her head in shame, unable to hide her tears and too tired to care. An extremely awkward silence settled between us. Taking a deep breath, I turned away from her and looked at the night sky.
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Seras. I don't."
Out of the corner of my eyes I saw that she raised her head enough so that she could look at me.
"To tell the truth, Ms. Victoria, although I am concerned about you, that isn't the reason I came here tonight."
"Then why...?" she asked.
"I came here to thank the person who saved my life a few days ago," I smiled. "If you hadn't shown up when you did, I'd be wearing dirt and daisies right now rather than a cast and sling. I owe you my life, Ms. Victoria, as well as the lives of many of my men. Thank you!"
Although it wasn't quite a smile, this recognition seemed to take much of the pain out of her face.
"You're welcome, sir. I was only doing my job..." she quietly said.
"Oh, I don't know about that," I replied. "It seems to me that ridding Hellsing HQ of a legion of cannibalistic ghouls almost singlehandedly would go into the 'above and beyond the call of duty' category..."
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Silence again prevailed, but it was somehow softer now. All of the sudden, something odd occurred to me, and a smile slowly spread across my face. Seras must have noticed it, for she quickly asked "What has you so amused, sir?"
"I was just thinking that you make a very poor monster! Hahahaha!"
She looked a little confused, so I explained.
"First of all, you are a beautiful young blonde girl that is barely of average height. Second, you are very easily intimidated. Also, you apparently have the conscience of a saint. If what I've heard is true, you initially starved yourself for weeks just because you felt that drinking blood, even medical blood, was morally wrong. Finally, you often show more concern for human life on the field of battle than your completely-human comrades do! Ms. Victoria, if you are a monster, then I might as well pack up my silver bullets and retire."
I looked over at Seras; I had finally gotten her to smile.
"Take a look down there," I said, pointing downward and to the right. "What do you see?"
"That's the barracks, sir," she replied.
"Correct. Sleeping in there right now are 57 men who would be dead today if it hadn't been for your quick action. They don't see you as a monster, either, Seras. They see you as their guardian angel--an angel with pointy teeth!"
Seras laughed at that one in spite of herself.
"They count on you, as do I, to pull them through situations that the average man couldn't hope to overcome. That's what I was trying to tell you the other day when you carried me, bleeding like a stuck pig, from that office. I used to think that only normal men of extraordinary courage could win the fight against the undead, but you and your master, Alucard, have shown me that often the most powerful crusaders against the forces of darkness are those of its own. I know things are tough now, but those men, myself, and everyone else in the Hellsing Organization need you to stay strong."
I got up to leave, but gave her one last reassurance before I left. "Bad luck only lasts so long, Seras. Hang in there, and the weather will change. May God and Her Majesty be with you. Amen."
"Amen!" she replied. I noticed she was crying again, but I'm happy to say that these were tears of a different kind.
With that, I walked toward the window, leaving my savior there on the roof with her thoughts. She is truly one of the strongest souls I have ever known; I wish her only the best. I know I can never repay her for saving my life, but perhaps those words of kindness on the roof have somehow lessened my debt. In the meantime, I shall do what I can by fulfilling my duty to my men (and to their vampiric protectors) by giving them my all; even my life, if it should ever come down to that...
THE END
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Dedicated to all of the world's "angels with pointy teeth", those who (despite what they may believe) make a difference in the world every day.
A little bit "fluffier" than what I typically write, but I'm pretty proud of this one. Please review!