One night in the basement of the Hellsing mansion...

Alucard: So, police girl.

Seras: Yes, master?

Alucard: Today you will learn one of the most important skills of being a vampire.

Seras: Oh…o-okay…

Alucard: sigh Don't worry, it has nothing to do with blood. I'm going to teach you how to overtake and control a human's mind. You will practice on our volunteer here.

Pip: Hi!

Alucard: Now as you know, it is much easier to control a human than a vampire, and the weaker the human's mind the better. Therefore, I got a nice, easy subject for you to start with.

Pip: Hey!

Alucard: Now what you must do first is catch the eye of the subject.

Pip: But I thought you said…

Alucard: Stare deeply into his eyes until his attention is entirely upon you.

Seras: Okay…

Pip: Oh, my attention is on her, believe me...eep!

(rampantly violent scene)

Alucard: Well, looks like we'll have to find a new mercenary. This one seems to have 'expired'.

Yet another drabble that's been brewing in my head for awhile.

-Vandae