A/N: Dedicated to...umm...everyone! But especially to Lee for keeping me entertained at 12 AM...and to the rest of the lit thread.

Italics are, once again, flashbacks.

Lorelai returned with Kirk, Lulu, and a shy little boy trailing behind.

Kirk looked different to Jess, older, more mature, but still Kirk-like. The little boy, Theodore, was the spitting image of him, right down to the khakis and buttoned up pale yellow shirt. Jess had never met Lulu, so he didn't have much to compare, but he'd heard a lot about her from Luke (still not completely comfortable discussing his own life, so choosing instead to focus on Kirk's). It wasn't until she started talking that Jess understood why Luke thought she and Kirk were so perfect for each other. She was giggly, chatty, excitable, and sickeningly sweet from the start.

After about five minutes of listening to her chatter Jess groaned and buried his face in Rory's shoulder.

"You okay?" she asked with a concerned look in her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I've just got a bit of a headache." He sat up. "I think I'm gonna go for a walk."

"Okay. You want me to come?"

He stood up. "No, you stay with your mom. I'll be back in a little while."

"K."

Jess grabbed his coat off the hook by the front door and slipped outside, passing Sookie and Jackson in the snow and leaving Rory to gaze after him.

The TV next door is blaring, as is the stereo of the near-deaf guy downstairs. He can hardly hear himself think. Weren't people supposed to go away for Christmas?

The little red light on his answering machine is blinking, but he doesn't want to listen to the message. It'll just be his mother, begging him to come to dinner. While he loves his grandmother's cooking he doesn't think he can take another night of his mother's constant questioning. "Are you seeing anyone?" "How'd that blind date go?" "Are you gay and just afraid to tell me?"

He wonders why Christmas is such a family holiday when all family does is cause problems.

Emily was being unbearable, truly unbearable. Ever since Jess had slipped out the door half an hour earlier she had been shooting Rory worried glances.

He'd been gone 30 minutes, it wasn't like he'd run out on her again. Right?

"I'm gonna go see if I can find Jess. If he's not feeling well he probably shouldn't be out in the cold," she said as she nearly ran out the door.

She could almost hear the start of Emily's disapproving comments as it shut behind her.

The walk to the diner wasn't long, but the cold and the fresh snow made it difficult. When she reached it she was surprised to find Jess just sitting outside in the cold.

"How have you not turned into a popsicle?" she asked as she approached him.

"Well, it helps that I'm not made of sugar and artificial flavoring."

"Shut up," she said sitting down next to him, "you know what I mean."

"I don't know, the cold doesn't bother me."

"It's that cold heart of yours," she jokes leaning into him.

He chuckles and wraps an arm around her.

He calls at about ten. The neighbors have finally turned down the volume and he can actually hear himself think.

The constant fear is that a Gilmore will pick up. It has happened before, an out-of-breath Lorelai pissed that she had to do a laundry pile dive to find the phone only to find a dial-tone. It's not that he's afraid, no, he just wants to save her the trouble of yelling at him. At least, that's what he tells himself.

But this time it's Luke who picks up. There's a smile in his voice, the gruff tone has all but disappeared since he got the girl. It makes Jess happy to know that Luke's happy, but he can't shake the regret that builds up like bile in his throat when they talk.

He could have had the girl.

He could have been this happy.

He could have worked it out.

And then a little voice inside his head reminds him that he didn't.

"So, what's wrong?" Rory asked after a minute.

"Nothing, it's just," he paused, "is Lulu always so...Lulu?"

Rory smiled, "as far as I know, but then, I haven't seen her in six years."

"Have you seen anyone in the past six years?"

She shook her head. "Not really. I mean, sometimes Mom attempts a visit, but they always end with us fighting...unless she drags Luke along, in which case we don't fight, but things get really tense and they leave before dinner. I see Lane a lot, though, and Paris."

"Things have certainly changed since the last time we were here."

Rory nodded. "Yup."

"You ready to head back?" he asks.

"If we don't my mom is sure to send out a search party. Missing dinner is a crime punishable by death in the Gilmore household. Or it used to be, anyway." She frowned.

"I'm sure it still is," he told her as he helped her up. "Let's go."

Holding hands they started off towards the house.

"How've you been?" Luke asks him.

"I'm alive," he replies.

Something in Luke's voice fades. "Well, that's good, I guess."

They are silent for a moment, and he turns to look at the microwave where his spaghetti is reheating. "How was the famous dinner?"

"Good as always, Sookie cooked for twice the number of people that actually came, but I'm sure Lorelai won't have any trouble devouring the left-overs. Did you go to your mom's?"

Jess winces as he responds in the affirmative. He doesn't want Luke to think he's sitting home alone on Christmas Eve, even if he is.

"That's good."

"Yeah."

The conversation ends soon afterward. After he hangs up Jess walks over to the microwave and pulls out the warm bowl. He grabs a coke out of the fridge (he gave up drinking when he realized the destructive power it held), and sits down in front of the TV, flipping to a station playing mindless Christmas-themed cartoons.

"There you are, we were about to start without you," Lorelai said as they walked in the front door.

"No you weren't," Rory replied, "you were about to come and get us." She smiled at her mother.

They followed Lorelai into the living room where someone had set up a bunch of card tables.

"--And the second egg says 'I've never seen a talking egg.'"

Even Emily laughed at Jackson's joke, though it was clear that she didn't find it all that funny. They took their seats.

"I don't know if I can eat this, Sook," Lorelai said, "I think this souffle even tops last years."

Sookie gasped. "You do eat cheese, right Jess?"

He laughed. "Yes, I eat cheese."

"Oh, good, 'cause I couldn't remember, and I was really worried about it, so I made an extra souffle that didn't have any cheese, but then Anne started screaming and Davey knocked over a cup and the soffle kind of deflated, so I was really worried that you wouldn't get any souffle, but you can eat the souffle, so that's good." She took a deep breath and everyone laughed (genuinely this time).

As everyone dug into the food Jess thought back to his second night in Stars Hollow and the meal (not unlike this one) that he missed. He wondered where he'd be right now if he hadn't skipped out on his first chance at an original Sookie meal. He grabbed Rory's hand under the table.

Sitting next to Jess Emily's disapproving glances weren't so bad, squeezing his hand helped her forget that six years had gone by and remember that she was finally home.

As he climbs into bed that night he can't shake the feeling that something needs to change, and more importantly, that there's nothing he can do about it.

From his bed he can see out the window. Snow has begun to fall and is softly coating his fire-escape. In the moment before he falls asleep he allows himself to think of her.

I know this is a really short chapter, but once the plot gets going they'll be longer. I just wanted to get some more up.

Review, please.