Wow... normally on first attempts on fanfics, I get this serious flame from a bunch of people... This is actually somewhat amazing... my father hasn't come home with my Chinese food yet... watch me fry in a fetal position... I've been suffering from a minor case of nostalgia lately, and this damn phase won't evanescence and leave me alone, so, I might only update once or twice a week. Sorry guyes. But I'm kinda glad that you liked it and stuff.
Ooh, yayness. The funnest part of the chapter! Ha ha, watch me review all of the people thingies! hee hee... freakishly perky and hyper right now, watch me skip and sing like a lunatic! Fwee hee, I'm out of character right now... but, looking past that, perfectly normal.
Anyways...:
forbiddentoast: Ooh... Yayness. I ish, er, happy that you are enjoying the story so far, and stuffish. Yea, I'm really bad at replying to the posts for the first chapter and stuff, 'cause normally I don't know how to reply to them and stuff, and they flame me for my ranting, like I am right now, and now you all are going to flame me. (sad voice) Moooopp... anyways, yes! Felix kicks ass! Plus, Felix is how I got the title for the story and stuff. I shall explain at the end of the chapter and thingies and shtuff. By the way, your nickname. toastie, that kicks ass. I want a toaster... but no. Nobody indulges me with my desires now do they? Of course, none of us really ever gets what we truly desire... ARMAGEDDON!
Nessa Inwe: Ooh ish, yayness! I knew that you would return and start viewing again! Hurrah for pizza! I'm slightly out of it right now, but, I'm sure I'll be back here in a few minutes. damn it, start updating your Lord of the Rings story! Must see Aragorn and his feminine sword! Heh heh... Ah, well... yes, I do realize that I am still a little bit out of it. And the Christmas exchange is done! I might not be able to send you a real pidgeon, but you don't know that! I desire monkies for le holiday season! Hurray! Moosey fate... anyways. And I'm happy that I put it back on the internet too! But, then the people might delete it once again... ARMAGEDDON!
Aoi Neko-chan: Ha ha. You and me have the same perspective, miss Aoi. All of my friends love frickin' Squee, and they just want to hug him and marry him and just label him the "most adorable widdle ting dey have evah seeeeen!" By the way, that is in exact quotes. But yes! Another human organism that finds Nny inexplicably sweet and adoreable! Despite his homicidal personality, he's just a long-lost sad man who just needs to be loved... that's why Felix is there. She's just suppose to serve as a friend and that is FINAL. Er... cough cough... I still want monkey. Yea, too bad that Johnny would probably kill you at the attempt of an embrace. sadly. Oh well... he is adoreable. Oh yes, and I actually recieved your e-mail thinamajig of doom the other day... you probably might have noticed by recieving the reply thingy... I love stating the obvious... ooh, and I am STILL flattered at the whole "interesting human" remark. I'd hardly label myself interesting... but, thank you anyways,c and contiue reviewing and stuffs.
Koomori: Yeeee... thank you for your act of sympathy for my former account. I got a little pissed off at the whole "AnimeFreakos thing-getting-deleted"... thing... I'm not using well gramma now... I need a moose for Christmas... And, I guess now you have no reason to wonder why there is no story when you search for it now. Heh heh... Er, yet again, stating the obvious is fun. I'm also glad and stuff that you find the story so... um, readable? Readable... I'm becoming more and more pathetic as life goes on... that's not good... ARMAGEDDON! My spelling! It sucks! ARMAGEDDON! Indulge me with bacon-eating biscuits... Ooh ooh ohh! By the way, arigato gozimus (thank you very much) for the encouragment for my writing! Tank ooh, tank ooh, tank ooh...
lonelost: Ooh, ooh! Yayness! You, dear friend Deanna Rodriguez, actually obtained your account without technical difficulties! Ha ha, watch me writhe on the ground in temporary joy! ... okay, happy phase over. Anyways, yayness! The Y key on my keyboard won't work! I still desire flour-based foods. Hooray for biscuits! My dad's friends are strange, and find my typing skills inexplicably fast... they scare me... ah, well. Anyways, I'm still in random mood! Whee!! I still want a monkey for Christmas... or a moose... yes, a moose might suit better. But, you better post your story on here soon, I might have to hurt you if you don't... by the way, you're sausage-coated-in-snowy-fur-and-pudgy-legs will indeed go to hell! Evil chihuahua... I still can't spell! ARMAGEDDON!
Githoniel: Yes! I remember you, reviewer person thingy! I'm freakishly hyper right now off of Root Beer! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I wish I had some pop rocks right now... I must learn to cope with hte desires that I cannot recieve... like homicidal ex-boyfriends... now I'm ranting. ANYWAYS: Yay! It's good to see a familiar reviwered user pen name thingy again. My gramma is still not well... gramma... my spelling... ARMAGEDDON! Heh heh... I need to get that phrase out of my system so I don't infect my personallity even worst than I have already in educational society... dun dun dun dun... hooray for Beethoven! Meethoven... ARMAGEDDON! I love your Pen Name... 'tis pretty... plus I memorized the little "Oh Elbreth Gilthoniel" song in the first Lord of the Rings book with my own hymn... heh heh... when I was younger, I had alot of time on my hands... I still have alot of time on my hands... heh heh... ARMAGEDDON!
Ha ha. I got alot more reviews for the first chapter than I figured I would have obtained... dun dun dun dun... hooray for Beethoven! ... again! I love elipses... anyways, I hope you people enjoy this chapter. Er... yes! Go, filthy stink children, read on my horrible script of wishful fantasies that concern our dear protagonist Johnny! Muahahahahahaha... the sky is black where I sit and type this meaningless nonsense.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fic, except for Felix and her little puppet, but, the little puppet child comes up in later chapters. Please, read and review, and try to enjoy.
CHAPTER 2: Johnny Having Fun
Johnny the malicious bastard was standing in the central patch of floorboards in a vacant chamber deep in the bowels of his house. Well... that was lie. It wasn't entirely vacant at all. There were musty crates here and thither in the room, some pried open and others barred shut, accompanied with stray weapons, such as small knives, a typical dagger, and what looked like a thick jar of acid.
Speaking of being accompanied...
Of course he wasn't the only human being in there... his victim was chained down and restrained in a bloodstained strait jacket, not to mention being gagged by a graying stinking rag. The guy whom he was going to murder tonight criticized his house of being a rundown piece of shit. Only an asshole would say something like that, and every human unfortunate enough to get on Johnny's bad side knew too well how much he "loved" assholes...
The asshole's name was Greg. Greg Burton, an asshole who had once made fun of him when he went to a café a few previous months before. He had not only labeled Nny's house a rundown piece of shit, but he also addressed Johnny himself as "a freak."
So, the asshole was weighed down by a couple of stakes hammered into the floorboards (and through his kneecaps), and was trying to scream through the disgusting dish cloth stuffed in his orifice, but only amused the homicidal male more and more by the moment.
"So, what kind of house do you live in, Mr. Person Who Doesn't like My House?" he asked casually as he plopped himself comfortable down on a nearby crate, He propped his skeletal arm up on his bony knee and rested his head in his slender palm.
The victim narrowed his eyes and tried to scream through the grotesque dish rag shoved into the back of his throat, but only muffled, undecipherable grunts were audible.
Johnny swayed slightly in satisfaction as his victim attempted to cuss him out in frustration and (despite how well he hid it) fear. Just to scare the hell out of him, he lolled a lazy eye towards the floor, where an ebony stiletto lay besides the toe of his boots. A crazy grin split his face as he delicately (and mockingly) grasped and lifted it up in a somewhat innocent manner, rolling the metallic hilt in his thin fingers.
"I'm sorry, but I can't understand you," Johnny pointed out, his left eyebrow levitating a couple of centimeters in escalating hilarity as Greg's eyes amplified in horror.
This time, though, there was no courageous come back, just a whimpering, gurgled noise that was stifled behind layers of gross discarded material in his fat mouth.
Nny arched an eyebrow, and suddenly gripped the hilt of the dagger in frighteningly concealed firmness. He slanted the position of his head to the right and allowed his optics to contract. "Still can't hear you," He stated bluntly, although a menacing eeriness had tainted his tone.
All that came was more desperate whining.
He chortled as he slid himself slyly off of the wooden box, kneeling in front of the frantic Greg. He swayed once again, but managed to keep himself balanced as he peered at Greg's paling face. He subconsciously made sure his fervent fingers didn't fumble the knife incorrectly in his eager hands... he did not want blood to spurt just yet.
His neck straightened up once again, and both eyebrows rose up towards the ceiling. The realization that the sufferer was still being smothered with the disgusting dishrag has just suddenly dawned upon him. "That explains it," he muttered to himself.
One eyebrow sunk down in a furrowing expression, and mercilessly swung his arm around and ripped the cloth from his victim's jaws. Evidently the whining of the victim had caused Greg's maw to clamp tightly on the cloth in nervousity, and the tugging harshly out of his teeth's grip did not suit well. Johnny figured this when two of Greg's molars flew out, and tumbled a couple of yards away into one of the neglected dark corners of the room.
"Now... as I said before," Johnny began once again casually, ignoring Greg's continuation of whimpers. "What kind of a house do you live in, Mr. Person Who Doesn't like My House?"
"Just let me go," Greg whispered hoarsely, his optics becoming teary. To Johnny's random amusement they became unusually shiny in the dense light. "Please, j-just let me go..."
Johnny's raised eyebrow lifted up a bit higher at this request, but habitually continued his constant swaying. He opened his mouth to deny this application—
A door clicked open some distance away, followed by a trail of soft footsteps progressing down the corridor...
Shit. For the second time now, his female acquaint Felix, had disrupted yet another finale of a kill.
Knowing immediately who it was, he sighed a felt his dagger tumble to the very tips of his finger, along with the desire to mutilate someone. "Damn it, she came back," He cursed in a low tone, thrusting his arms up at the air in exasperation.
"Johnny?" Felix's voice carried through the thin door quite easily, the foot steps becoming ever louder. "Um, Johnny? Are you there?"
Greg's nonstop sniveling ceased almost immediately, his head shooting up in newfound faith. He saw a light! A beautiful little light of hope... Someone was actually here! They could get him out of here, and she could call the police and get this fucker arrested and then—
"Johnny—" The door knob rattled as the two men on the ground watched it rotate towards the left. It gradually creak open, and there stood a... female, perhaps around the age of fourteen or fifteen. Clothed in ebony, the girl's brown irises widened at the sight that was unfolded before her.
Greg cracked an insane smile, and actually released a high-pitched guffaw at his luck! "Miss, get the police!" He shrieked joyfully. "He's fucking insane, call the police, he's trying to kill me, call them quickly, please—"
Felix merely stood there and blinked at the unknown figure. She tilted her head forty-five degrees to the right and continued her blinking at his pleads. She declined her head back into a proper position before turning a confused eye to Johnny. "Er, um... Johnny?" She began, observing his eyebrow rising in skeptical ness. "What the fuck is going on...?"
Luckily for Johnny, the crate he was formerly resting on was placed do his housemate couldn't see the nailed kneecaps of Greg Burton, and the knife that he had dancing at his fingertips. He tilted his head and pouted his lip out habitually.
When Johnny did not reply to her straight forward inquiry, she glanced a wary eye to the other guy. Who was also strapped in a strait jacket. And cackling like a loon.
Both of Nny's eyebrows shot up in alarm and mild astonishment when Felix actually laughed out loud. "Erm, I won't ask," She chortled, wagging her head side to side. "I think I'm gonna go and leave both of you alone now... Johnny, I'll check up on you in a few minutes okay?"
Greg's cackling silenced immediately in dismay as he heard this statement. His eyes expanded frenetically as he shouted, "WHAT TE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?!" Felix shortened her soft laughter, but managed to still hold her amused smirk as Johnny just sort of rotated his head back to him. "I SAW A LIGHT! A PRETTY LITTLE LIGHT! A PRETTY LITTLE LIGHT OF HOPE! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY SAVIOR!?!"
At this point, Felix's smile had flipped itself to a frown of confuzzlement ((A/N: Oh shut up, and leave me alone, I kind of like that word, deal with it... yes.)) "Er... Johnny," She addressed, focusing her attention on the psycho. Once she had gotten his concentration on her, she continued, "Um, I got us some Chinese. It's up front if you want anything."
"Not hungry," He responded almost immediately, averting his gaze to ensure that the stiletto was out of her vision.
"Ookay then," She said, blinking. She tilted her head at Greg, conclusively signaled a polite wave of farewell, and sighed. "Have fun, Nny."
"With that, she had stepped out into the hall, the crappy door clicking softly behind her. Johnny cocked an ear out slightly to listen to her boots press of in the direction of the front room. He exhaled loudly in annoyance, and turned his eyes back to a thunderstruck, paranoid Greg.
"You're all crazy," Greg sputtered spastically, eyes widening as he rocked back and forth somehow, perfectly resembling an inhabitant of a mental institution. "Damn you all, you're all FUCKING CRAZY!!"
Johnny's eyebrow once went airborne again, the thought of not tolerating his roommate winking out of his mysterious little mind. A menacing grin split his face as he tilted his head. The dagger was up high in his hand, glinting maliciously in the faint lamp light.
"Now," the maniac commenced, eyes wide with malice and vengeance. "Where were we!?
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Felix chuckled insanely as she perched herself comfortably in the center base of the broken couch. In her thin hands she held a small cardboard carton of steamed rice, and was eating away with a small plastic spoon she has snagged from a spoon/fork dispenser at the Take-Out desk.
"Johnny's crazy for not wanting any of this shit," She murmured to herself, consuming another scoopful.
Just as she had finished a second helping of foreign grains, she could have sworn that her keen ears had caught something. Something that sounded remotely like agonized hollering and maniacal cackling...
Felix blinked. "Wow," She uttered, peering around the arm of the couch down the hall, her gaze falling on the flimsy door that Johnny and that guy were inhabiting. "Johnny is frickin' crazy... no wonder he doesn't want Chinese..."
Well, I'm not entirely sure why, but I really loved modifying this chapter. It was rather interesting to read and reread the original then repeat the process over the new version... The Chinese food thing though at the end was just pure coincidence to the fact that I have been eating leftover Chinese take out for the last four days... I love Crag Rangoons... I'm still not so sure about my spelling skills... ARMAGEDDON!
Well, earlier in the review for forbiddentoast, I said I'd answer the whole reason why it was titled "Not So Lucky." Well, it's entirely based on Felix's name: Felix in Latin is actually translated, "lucky, fortunate, etc." And, well... the whole idea of labelling the story "Not So Lucky" sounded a bit more interesting than the others. Heh heh... monkey feet. And besides that, the original title, "When She Came", it kind of sounded Mary Sueish, to me. I kept on changing the title of the story, but, I think I'll just stick with this title for now.
Ooh, also-- this part is kinda fun. This might announcement may seem kinda fmailiar to Gilthoniel and Nessa Inwe, but here I go anyways: Most of the time of my life when I am typing something for my story, I practically always have writer's block, and it's sort of annoying. Heh heh... ah well. What I'm trying to ask, is that if any of you people have any ideas or suggestions for Felix/Johnny/Squee/Devi (pretty much anyone mentioned in JTHM, Squee, I Feel Sick, etc.) please fefel free to add it in your review or e-mail me.
Eek... I'm afraid that this pointless Authoress Conclusion and the introduction is much more reading than the actual chapter itself... that's never good...
Anyways, all who read this chapter, please drop a review!! I'm gonna probably add two chapters a week, so, yea. Anyways, have fun with this. When the holidays come up, there'll probably me a whole lot more. Perhaps once a day. Yay. Depends on my creativity and not-writer's block-ness... ARMAGEDDON!
.::.:.::AnathA::.::.