Killing Mrs. Norris Chapter 1: Suits of Armor, Time, Halibuts and Other Mayhem
Scene: A girl of 5'5" who is perhaps in her middle teenage years creeps along the deserted corridor, her back against the wall. She has glasses and was wearing, not Hogwarts robes, but black stretch pants and a black t-shirt that read, "I'm only wearing black until they make something darker."
SiriousB1: snicker, snicker I'll get you my pretty...my precious...my...um...well, Argus Filch's cat!
In the girl's hand was an object, but what it was could not be perceived for it was hidden by the darkness of the hallway. Quite suddenly the girl stopped and sniffed the air like a hound searching for a fox. Her head snapped sideways and she darted behind a suit of armor just as a group of people rounded the corner.
Ron: And the man said, 'Gee, it's too bad there was only one left!'
The students burst into laughter. The hidden girl was very confused, but there was not much she could do about it without going up to the group and asking what the joke was that the punch line came from.
The crew was a strange mob of people, indeed. One had glasses and a lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead, one had big hair (though not quite an afro) and had her nose buried in a book, two (one male and older looking, the other female) had fiery red hair and the final, another male, stumbled every few moments.
SiriousB1 (thinking): Strange...what on earth could this group be doing up at three o'clock in the morning? Curious, very curious.
Neville: It's a good thing that we have this period off. I'm surprised that the teachers all agreed; I wonder what happened to have the Headmaster let the entire school have a free period?
Hermione: I heard something like all the teachers needed to get together for an emergency meeting in the staff room. Something about schedule changes...
Harry: I heard it has something to do with a special Quidditch program that they are still perfecting...
Ron: Nah, they probably just thought that we were all such descent students that we needed a break.
Mysterious New Voice: Descent? Descent would be being able to afford a new robe, Weasley.
The five looked up, farther down the hallway, and saw Draco Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle walking sleazily towards them. The two bigger fellows stood behind and to the side of the slim one like bodyguards.
During all this excitement, the secreted girl looked at her purple/silver digital watch. She tapped it, put it to her ear and concluded that it was working. However, she was still mystified with the fact that these students would be having classes at 3 AM.
Harry: What do you want, Malfoy?
Draco: There's no need for that tone of voice, Potter. It's a free period; we're just wandering the halls.
Ginny: Bet you're not. Bet you're going around just trying to exert yourself with nuisance. You're just a good for nothing ass.
Draco smiled viciously. Crabbe and Goyle chuckled behind him, their arms folded across their chests.
SiriousB1 (thinking): Definitely your everyday group of teenagers. Now, why are they up so early?!
Draco: Come on, Weasley number two; show some respect to your elders. We wouldn't want there to be an accident of any kind, now would we?
The slimy haired (yet incredible fortunate looking) boy snickered along with his cronies. The concealed girl is searching her mind trying to find reason as to why the students are up. And then it hits her...
SiriousB1 (thinking): Ah...now I see. My watch says 3 AM, but it is, in fact 8 AM. Had I not been in such a rush to leave Chicago, I would have realized that I forgot to change my watch the five hours ahead to British time. Hmm...I'll have to remember to check that next time.
As the girl twiddles with the buttons on her watch, totally oblivious to the argument brewing in front of her, she has to stifle a soft yell of triumph. It was not everyday that her brain was able to comprehend such sort of logic. Sure she was smart enough, but only when she wanted to be.
Meanwhile, Hermione snapped her book shut unexpectedly and put it in her bag.
Hermione: Just because you have a bit more money than the rest of us, doesn't give you the right to harass us.
Draco (laughing an evil laugh): Come off it, Granger. Mudbloods have no right to get mixed up with the dealings of real wizards. Not that they rest of your group are very good ones.
Hermione: Be careful, Malfoy. You wouldn't want to end up like Mr. Griffin.
All heads turn towards her and fourteen eyebrows raise.
Neville: Who is Mr. Griffin?
Hermione (sighing): Honestly, am I the only one who reads? The novel Killing Mr. Griffin is about exactly what it says: people who kill Mr. Griffin!
Draco: You could have just said that I might wind up dead. Not all of us read silly Muggle novels.
Hermione (eyes tearing): It's not silly!
The girl behind the armor rolled her eyes at the group. Since her watch had been adjusted, she had started to pay attention to the annoying jabbering back and forth of the kids.
SiriousB1 (thinking): For the love of Jellybeans, just punch each other already! God, even my arguments aren't that boring!
Harry: Come one, Griffindors; we're going to be late for our next class.
Draco (mimicking Harry): Come on, Gryffindors! We might be late, Gryffindors! Who died and made you God, Potter? Perfect Potter!
Crabbe and Goyle chuckled randomly and Draco continued to make fun of the others.
Draco (still mimicking): Give me your dinners, Gryffindors! Lick my shoes, Gryffindors! Suck my...
But he didn't get to finish for, at exactly that moment, Argus Filch turned the corner.
Filch: What are you all doing here? You're late for classes!
Ron: Sorry, sir, but we were just on our way. You see Dra...
Filch: Shut up, boy! I don't care to hear your troubles! Just get a move on!
But, yet again, nothing was accomplished by this for, at exactly at that moment (not the one before!), Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris popped seemingly out of nowhere and rubbed up against Filch's legs.
Behind the suit of armor, the girl froze. Her eyes widened and a faint smile played across her lips.
SiriousB1 (thinking): No! Not now, not here, not now! Must control myself! Don't do anything; ignore the cat, ignore the cat, ignore the...
But she couldn't ignore the cat. Her entire body started shaking, and her hand reached out next to her onto the floor where the object that we couldn't see before lay. It was: a halibut!
::Clink, clink, clink!::
Everyone's heads turned toward a suit of armor that was, to their horror, shivering.
Crabbe: Oh my God! It's alive!
Goyle: Run for your life!
Draco: No, you fool, it can't be alive; it's a suit of armor! It must be a spell!
Immediately following Draco's words, all of their hands went to their ears as an insane laugh rang out from behind the metal junk, which had just collapsed to the ground.
SiriousB1: BWAHAHAHAHA!! Now I've got you, cat! You won't escape! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
They all stared as an obviously psychotic girl came running out of the spot where the armor once stood. She leapt over the heap of silver that was the armor and ran at full speed towards Filch!
Filch: AHHHHHH!!! HELP ME!!!! I'M GONNA DIE, I'M GONNA DIE!!!
Neville: Didn't she say cat, not caretaker?
SiriousB1: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Ron (whispering to Ginny): Why is she swinging around a fish?
The mysterious (and loud) girl pushed Filch to the ground and raced down the hallway. As the students ran after her they saw Mrs. Norris dashing in front of her, narrowly dodged the dead halibut every time it was swung around.
SiriousB1: You won't escape, cat!! Die!!!
The girl gave a final swing at the mangy cat, missed and cursed loudly.
SiriousB1: D'Arvit!!
She stopped dead in her tracks and swung the fish around like she was Kerry Wood. Fortunately (for her at least), she did not play for the Chicago Cubs like Kerry Wood and hit her target straight on.
Mrs. Norris: MEOW!!!!!!!!!!
SiriousB1: MWAHAHAHA!!
Sadly, the girl wasn't paying attention to the crowd (which was growing large now with students who had heard the odd raucous) that was gathering behind her as she scampered off after her prey.
Hermione: Oh, bother! This is ridiculous...
Filch: NOOOOOOO!!!!!! MRS. NORRIS!!!!!!!!!
Hermione reached into her robes and pulled out her wand. She wasn't the only one...
Hermione, Harry, Ron, Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape and Flitwick: IMMOBULIS!!! (A/N: Or however you spell that...)
The running girl froze with one leg up in the air, getting ready for her next stride that would never come; at that moment, anyway. Filch scrambled to his feet (he was still laying down where he had been shoved aside) and ran over to the spot down the hallway where Mrs. Norris's limp body and the slimy halibut lay.
Filch (sobbing): Mrs. Norris...poor Mrs. Norris...
SiriousB1: Let...me...go...let...me...go!
Dumbledore: Amazing...simply astounding...
Filch: What is?! That Muggle just killed my cat with a fish!
Snape: I believe what the Headmaster means is that it is incredible for this Muggle girl to have not been fully affected by the spell.
McGonagall: Let alone get into Hogwarts unnoticed.
Dumbledore nodded at Snape, who walked over to the frozen figure and held onto her arms. Dumbledore then raised his wand and muttered a counter curse and the girl's stiff body relaxed. That is, of course, before she started thrashing around like a fish (halibut?) on dry land.
Harry: Professor, let me explain! Me, Ron, Hermione, Neville and Ginny were walking down the hall because of our free...
But he was cut off with a wave of Dumbledore's hand.
Dumbledore: Not here, Harry. You, all the people you just mentioned except for Neville, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle follow me. Same with you, Argus, and Minerva. Flitwick, see that these students remaining in the hall return to their dormitories immediately. We're going to get to the bottom of this. Severus...
Snape (grunting as he tried to hold down the thrashing girl): Yes sir?
Dumbledore: You come with us too. Draco, if you would assist your teacher?
Draco went over to Snape and grabbed the flailing arm of the girl's that had managed to escape the Professor's grip.
Dumbledore: Come!
The group of people started down the hall, apparently going to Dumbledore's office. Filch was crying uncontrollably as he carried Mrs. Norris's dead body in his arms.
Ginny (whispering to Hermione): That girl must be crazy!
SiriousB1 (overhearing Ginny): Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a rubber room, rubber room. It was cold in that rubber room. I died in that rubber room. They buried me deep, very deep. The worms...they drove me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a...
McGonagall (rolling eyes): Shut up!
SiriousB1: room, rubber room. It was cold in that rubber room. I died in that rubber room. They buried me deep, very deep. The worms...they drove me crazy! Crazy? I was...
Everyone plugged their ears and they walked up a staircase. Snape and Draco were now dragging the girl up the stairs by her arms, her legs kicking madly.
SiriousB1: ...crazy once! They locked me in a rubber room, rubber room. It was cold in that rubber room. I died in that rubber room. They buried me deep, very...
All but SiriousB1: SHUT THE HECK UP!!!!!!!
Next chapter.
An inquiry of the strange girl takes place. What has compelled her to kill Filch's cat; with a dead fish no less? How did she break into Hogwarts and why is Ginny's hair turning blue? Who is that wolf-like dog that wanders into Dumbledore's office and what is Mrs. Norris doing floating in midair? And...GASP!!! Is that a truth potion that Snape is holding? What truths shall it reveal? All these questions and more shall be answered in Chapter 2 of Killing Mrs. Norris: Questions, Guests, Aliens and More