Ultimata
By Formerly Known As
Disclaimer: The crazed author does not own Robotnik. The crazed author does not own Shadow. The crazed author owns very little. But that's not the point! The crazed author does own this story. The crazed author also owns the personality given to Metal Sonic and Robotnik's computer. Is everyone else getting as sick of read 'the crazed author' as I am of writing it? I swear if I type 'the crazed author' one more time....Ah shit!
Oh forget it! Onto the story!
Chapter 2
Data Processing
Robotnik loudly cursed the inefficiency of using living creatures over robots. He knew he should have had Shadow robotocized as soon as he met him. Instead, he'd gone easy on the stupid hedgehog and because of it, he'd lost another major battle to the stupid hedgehog. The other stupid hedgehog. The blue stupid hedgehog. There were just too many stupid hedgehogs to keep track of these days. Or rather there were. Because Shadow was now dead.
The thought perked Robotnik up instantly. Shadow was no longer alive to torment
Robotnik the way Sonic did. So life was therefore better. The last adventure was over and now it was time to start plotting the next scheme to take over the world.
"Computer! Report status!"
A monotonous voice rang out through Robotnik's control room. "PRIORITY ONE
HEDGEHOG IS STILL ON THE LOOSE. STOCKS ARE UP 2.9 PERCENT. ROBOTIC ARMY IS CURRENTLY DOWN 54 THOUSAND TROOPS. MARGARET HAS FALLEN IN LOVE WITH JOHN BUT BIANCA, MARGARET'S EVIL TWIN SISTER HAS DISCOVERED THE TRUTH OF MARGARET'S AFFAIR WITH MICHAEL. ENEMY ACTIVITY SPOTTED ON NORTHERN FRONT OF BASE. ETERNAL ERROR FOUND. BRUSHING TEETH INCREASES RISK OF HIV, SAYS DR. MCCALLISTER OF..."
"What the?!" shouted Robotnik in confusion. The computer continued on its tirade of information.
Metal Sonic's cold voice came floating out of a corner. "Sir, you did not specify what status you wished reported on. You confused the computer so it is merely reporting ALL statuses, whether they are useful or not."
"Metal Sonic, you've been messing with my computer again, haven't you!?"
Metal Sonic gave Robotnik the best blank look he could manage. Considering he was a robot without facial expressions, it turned out pretty well.
"Hmmph," snorted Robotnik. "Very well. Computer," he said, interrupting the stream of information, "report status on processing of information downloaded from ARK's mainframe."
"DATA PROCESSING AT 100 PERCENT COMPLETION."
"Why didn't you say so!?"
"YOU DIDN'T ASK."
Robotnik shot a glance at Metal Sonic who was industriously examining a piece of dust on the floor.
"Report results computer. No, wait. Just place a summary up on the main screen."
"YES, SIR."
The computer screen which had before hand been covered in a blue screen with the words 'Robotnik is the greatest,' 'Robotnik is the supreme ruler,' and 'Robotnik will conquer all' was now filled with lines and lines of writing. Idly, Robotnik scanned through this writing. The computer room was filled with the soft buzzing of the computer. Metal Sonic snuck up behind him and silently read the information over Robotnik's shoulder.
Robotnik's fist suddenly slammed into the computer console in front of him. Like a startled bird, Metal Sonic silently shot back to his corner and tried to pretend he had never left.
"What?!" cried Robotnik, staring at the words on the screen. Metal Sonic looked as relieved as a piece of metal can be. Quickly, Robotnik hurried through the rest of the summary.
"If this information is true," Robotnik muttered to himself, "then he might just be alive after all. But that means..."
Suddenly one of the computer's earlier comments caught up to him.
"What do you mean there are enemies on the northern front?!"
"ENEMY ACTIVITY HAS BEEN DETECTED ON THE NORTHERN FRONT OF THE BASE, BEGINNING AT 1600 HOURS AND CONTINUING TO CURRENT TIME. LOCATION OF ENEMY ACTIVITY INACCURATE DUE TO SCRAMBLING PROCEDURES IMPLEMENTED BY ENEMY AT 1400 HOU-"
"Why didn't you tell me this sooner!?!"
"DOES NOT COMPUTE."
Metal Sonic's husky voice slid out of the shadowy corner he occupied. "The computer DID tell you sooner. When it began its report."
With a curse Robotnik rushed out of the room. Metal Sonic and the computer watched him go.
"I was wondering when he was going to remember that part of the report," said Metal Sonic.
"ME TOO," answered the computer.
***************************
Author's Crazed Note: My god, I did it. It's a vaguely happy story. That...comes as a slight surprise. Mainly because I wasn't aiming for a happy story. It merely turned out that way. Funny how that works, isn't?
By Formerly Known As
Disclaimer: The crazed author does not own Robotnik. The crazed author does not own Shadow. The crazed author owns very little. But that's not the point! The crazed author does own this story. The crazed author also owns the personality given to Metal Sonic and Robotnik's computer. Is everyone else getting as sick of read 'the crazed author' as I am of writing it? I swear if I type 'the crazed author' one more time....Ah shit!
Oh forget it! Onto the story!
Chapter 2
Data Processing
Robotnik loudly cursed the inefficiency of using living creatures over robots. He knew he should have had Shadow robotocized as soon as he met him. Instead, he'd gone easy on the stupid hedgehog and because of it, he'd lost another major battle to the stupid hedgehog. The other stupid hedgehog. The blue stupid hedgehog. There were just too many stupid hedgehogs to keep track of these days. Or rather there were. Because Shadow was now dead.
The thought perked Robotnik up instantly. Shadow was no longer alive to torment
Robotnik the way Sonic did. So life was therefore better. The last adventure was over and now it was time to start plotting the next scheme to take over the world.
"Computer! Report status!"
A monotonous voice rang out through Robotnik's control room. "PRIORITY ONE
HEDGEHOG IS STILL ON THE LOOSE. STOCKS ARE UP 2.9 PERCENT. ROBOTIC ARMY IS CURRENTLY DOWN 54 THOUSAND TROOPS. MARGARET HAS FALLEN IN LOVE WITH JOHN BUT BIANCA, MARGARET'S EVIL TWIN SISTER HAS DISCOVERED THE TRUTH OF MARGARET'S AFFAIR WITH MICHAEL. ENEMY ACTIVITY SPOTTED ON NORTHERN FRONT OF BASE. ETERNAL ERROR FOUND. BRUSHING TEETH INCREASES RISK OF HIV, SAYS DR. MCCALLISTER OF..."
"What the?!" shouted Robotnik in confusion. The computer continued on its tirade of information.
Metal Sonic's cold voice came floating out of a corner. "Sir, you did not specify what status you wished reported on. You confused the computer so it is merely reporting ALL statuses, whether they are useful or not."
"Metal Sonic, you've been messing with my computer again, haven't you!?"
Metal Sonic gave Robotnik the best blank look he could manage. Considering he was a robot without facial expressions, it turned out pretty well.
"Hmmph," snorted Robotnik. "Very well. Computer," he said, interrupting the stream of information, "report status on processing of information downloaded from ARK's mainframe."
"DATA PROCESSING AT 100 PERCENT COMPLETION."
"Why didn't you say so!?"
"YOU DIDN'T ASK."
Robotnik shot a glance at Metal Sonic who was industriously examining a piece of dust on the floor.
"Report results computer. No, wait. Just place a summary up on the main screen."
"YES, SIR."
The computer screen which had before hand been covered in a blue screen with the words 'Robotnik is the greatest,' 'Robotnik is the supreme ruler,' and 'Robotnik will conquer all' was now filled with lines and lines of writing. Idly, Robotnik scanned through this writing. The computer room was filled with the soft buzzing of the computer. Metal Sonic snuck up behind him and silently read the information over Robotnik's shoulder.
Robotnik's fist suddenly slammed into the computer console in front of him. Like a startled bird, Metal Sonic silently shot back to his corner and tried to pretend he had never left.
"What?!" cried Robotnik, staring at the words on the screen. Metal Sonic looked as relieved as a piece of metal can be. Quickly, Robotnik hurried through the rest of the summary.
"If this information is true," Robotnik muttered to himself, "then he might just be alive after all. But that means..."
Suddenly one of the computer's earlier comments caught up to him.
"What do you mean there are enemies on the northern front?!"
"ENEMY ACTIVITY HAS BEEN DETECTED ON THE NORTHERN FRONT OF THE BASE, BEGINNING AT 1600 HOURS AND CONTINUING TO CURRENT TIME. LOCATION OF ENEMY ACTIVITY INACCURATE DUE TO SCRAMBLING PROCEDURES IMPLEMENTED BY ENEMY AT 1400 HOU-"
"Why didn't you tell me this sooner!?!"
"DOES NOT COMPUTE."
Metal Sonic's husky voice slid out of the shadowy corner he occupied. "The computer DID tell you sooner. When it began its report."
With a curse Robotnik rushed out of the room. Metal Sonic and the computer watched him go.
"I was wondering when he was going to remember that part of the report," said Metal Sonic.
"ME TOO," answered the computer.
***************************
Author's Crazed Note: My god, I did it. It's a vaguely happy story. That...comes as a slight surprise. Mainly because I wasn't aiming for a happy story. It merely turned out that way. Funny how that works, isn't?