I don't know what I expected when we entered his apartment, but the bills all being paid, he went about turning on the lights, all without my help. I supposed that he would need me to help him around, but again I find myself in the living room, glancing over the vaguely familiar photographs, only to find one missing.
He returns, finally, and steps close to me, as though reassuring himself that I am still there. "You took down her picture," I say softly to him, turning to glance at the wall where it used to hang.
In response, he steps up behind me and reaches out to place gentle hands on my shoulders. I can almost feel the weariness in him, radiating like a beacon. "She deserves her rest," he says.
"So do you," I respond automatically, turning slightly to face him. His eyes search mine, and though they are slightly unfocused, there is nothing else different about them. "Which way is it to the bedroom?"
"There is only one bed," he says in his own way of protesting, though when I slip my arms around his waist he sags slightly against me, curling his neck to wrest his cheek on the crown of my head. "And you are dressed like you have a business meeting…"
"In a way, it was," I say absently.
"I will sleep on the couch," he says.
"You will do nothing of the sort, Chang Wu Fei," I snap stubbornly. "Which way is it to the bedroom, before you pass out in exhaustion and I have to drag you down the hallway?"
He slips his arms around my waist, and leans his head against mine, closing his eyes to inhale deeply the scent of my hair. Self-consciously I feel like I should have washed it better. "Second door on the left," he says in a deep, steady voice. I can feel it rumbling in his chest.
After another moment of standing in his arms, I tug on his waist and he sighs, "You're really serious about this… aren't you?"
"I've had a long, hard day, Fei," I say quietly.
"I think I've had a longer one," he replies, allowing me to draw away and lead him down the hallway by the hand. "And while Duo's heart is in the right place, he's not the best at nursing people back to health."
"I didn't want to say anything about that," I admit, pushing open his door, "but you're thinner than usual." The bedroom is, indeed, a little dusty, as he said it might be, but it's also beautiful, in its own way. The red, lacquered wood of the furniture is accented by the dark fabrics and contrast with the few plants and the pale gray walls.
There is a wardrobe in one corner, with a standing mirror next to it, and across from that is a chest of drawers. In the center of the far wall is the four poster bed, and the throw on it has beautiful green embroidery. "You're awfully quiet," he says, reaching over to turn on the light. "Is it displeasing?"
"No," I mumble, finding my voice has left me. "Quite the contrary. It's beautiful."
"I had it shipped from Sichuan," he says, letting go of my hand to cross unerringly to the dresser. He opens it and tosses me a folded article of clothing.
"What's this?"
"An oversized tee-shirt that Duo sent me once, claiming I might appreciate the insignia on it. I never have figured out why," he pauses, and I see his expression. He understands Duo's joke, I'm sure of it. "You don't have anything else to sleep in, so I thought you might appreciate the loan of it."
"Thanks," I murmur, watching him closely as he opens another drawer, the well-worn wood moving silently against its fittings. He withdraws a pair of white pajamas and motions me towards a door on the far side of the bed.
"The bathroom's in there. You change and I'll head into the other one."
"You don't have to-" I start to protest, but he disappears around the doorway and into the hall. I can hear the faint fall of his footsteps as he moves around, probably turning off the lights and securing the door. I finally unfold the tee-shirt and don't bother to stifle my chuckle.
There's a giant panda in a karate gi on it.
I can remember Duo's voice and the threatened reaction on Wufei's part.
And that ridiculous nickname that he used to crow up and down the halls of the Peacemillion.
'Wu-bear.'
With a smile, I step into the bathroom to change.
***
The bed had never seemed empty, looking back on it, until she climbed into it with me. I had been managing to believe wholeheartedly that the queen sized mattress was meant for one person.
But then, Sai Lei tends to cause me to reevaluate a lot of things in my life, and this is just another one of them. When I wake, I find myself laying on my side with one arm around her waist. She is tucked against my chest, her head pillowed on her folded hands, and there is a peaceful expression on her resting face. Or at least, what I can make out of it.
Her long, sandy hair is loose, and, waking, I find the urge to stroke it too compelling, and brush it gently over her face to fall down her back. At the touch, I feel her awareness change. She's woken up.
"Morning," she mumbles in a sleepy voice, shifting a little closer to me. "Did you sleep well?" She keeps her face angled down, as though afraid her morning breath will repulse me, and I allow her that, as she allows me the smile that tinges the edges of my mouth.
"My eyes are continually tired, but other than that, I haven't slept better since before I can remember," I say, truthfully, letting my hand tighten on the small of her back, gathering the fabric of the ridiculous tee-shirt against her body. "And you?"
"Like a kitten," she says, breath quickening slightly at the feel of my hand on her back. "I should probably get going," she adds. "I don't have a toothbrush and I'm going to need to shower before work."
"It's a Saturday," I hear my voice say, slightly cold, and wince.
"And I have to do all of your filing as well as my own." She reaches up to brush her fingers against my cheek, tucking my hair behind my ear, and sits up, the long fall of her hair covering her face as she looks down at me, my arm still looped around her waist.
The last time I kissed her, there was an ill motive behind it. I wanted her to let go, and to act and not withdraw into a shell, but this time, as I reach up to tip her face down towards mine, it is simply because I want her to know…
And I want to.
It is gentle, and sweet. Somehow despite our attire, and the bashful flush to her cheeks, there's very little suggestive about it. We both pull away after a moment, and my slightly hard to focus eyes blink as I try to see her clearly.
She starts to speak, but instead lifts a hand to her lips, and then she gently pulls away and heads towards the bathroom. "I'm going to have to race back to my apartment to change and make it in time."
"I am certain that Lady Une will forgive your tardiness," I say, leaning back against the bed and closing my eyes. Whatever she took from it is either not enough to make her stay, or too much for her not leave at the moment. Either way it is my fault for forcing her hand, she won't be remaining with me.
"I'll bring groceries by tonight," she says, voice muffled through the door and her clothing as she dresses. "I'd do it during lunch, but I'm not likely to make it there and back again with traffic and this ice."
"You plan to return here?" I ask, sitting up again. For a short moment I thought that she might have been contemplating leaving me to my own devices, but apparently Duo was right to say that she loves me.
And if it is not love as he might consider it… the burning, hurtful passion he shared with Heero, then it is love as I have always named it, deeply caring and devoted. Many sides to the same face, and as binding as anything that was ever between those two tumultuous lovers. The love they share, and I think it in the present tense because they still do care for one another, is as enduring as this, it is merely different. It changed Heero, and hurt Duo. Whichever caused the other I am not now nor have I ever truly been sure. She continues, breaking my train of thought.
"With some of my clothes so I don't have to borrow something to sleep in tonight… and so I don't have to rush out on Monday morning so quick to get home."
"What about Sunday?"
"I thought we could get you to a doctor tomorrow, and see what they have to say about your eyes…" she comes back into the room and hesitates at the bedside before leaning over to stroke my cheek. "Try to stay out of trouble at least until I get back tonight?"
Catching her hand and stroking her knuckles with my fingers, I nod. "As you wish."