I hear the lock turn in the door from where I'm folded on the floor and turn my head towards it. Not the landlord, not with the way the door was opened, slowly, as though afraid to disturb me inside. The landlord doesn't really care if he disturbs me, knowing me as well as he does, but it's early for her to be back yet.

"Fei?"

But it is, nonetheless, her.

"In the back," I respond, not quite rising. "You're early."

I hear her footsteps in the hall, tentative and slow. So much between us is just like her footsteps. "I couldn't spend the whole day at work. Lady Une sent me home early. I just couldn't concentrate." She's at the doorway now, and I feel her hesitate before stepping in.

"I am dressed decently enough, aren't I?" I ask in a gentle voice. I stripped down out of the clothes I had been wearing yesterday in order to stretch properly, something that is very hard to do on a ship. I sat down to meditate earlier, when I got a phone call from Heero, asking if I would look after his apartment for a little while.

It seems the mention I made to Duo about the stoic former pilot still loving him had some impact after all. He wouldn't commit to a day when he was willing to say he'd return. But he did mention that if he didn't, I was allowed to empty it properly, and he would get me word of that.

"Of course." My eyes are closed, but I can tell there's likely a faint blush on her cheeks. "I just wasn't sure if you'd be resting or not."

"Resting? I'm not injured in a manner that requires resting, Sai Lei."

"I didn't mean it like that, Fei, I-"

"Why couldn't you spend the whole day at work?" I ask, leaning back slightly.

"It just felt wrong," she says, and I feel her reluctance to talk about it in her voice.

"Where are your things?" I ask, changing the subject. I open my eyes to take in the blurry sight of her. She is standing, still in her uniform, and isn't carrying anything.

"I left them in the living room. The groceries need to get put away and I want to set up a laptop so we can email the office about paperwork. There's way too much of it left there for us when we go back."

"Did Une give you a vacation?"

"Not exactly."

She disappears to put away the groceries she mentioned, but continues the conversation as she does. "Everyone sends their best, including Trowa. Trowa feels guilty that you were hurt, though."

I follow her, slowly, and watch her move about the kitchen. She moves quickly, as though moving will keep her thoughts at bay. I remember such actions in myself, at one point.

"It is not his fault," I say, taking a seat on one of the stools. "He has nothing to feel guilty about."

"Well, you know he doesn't see it that way. Just like you wouldn't, if he had been hurt." The bag is empty, and she moves to the sink to do more, but I stop her by putting my hands on her shoulders.

"It's ok."

She stiffens. "What is?"

"Come with me," I say. The kitchen is not the place to have this discussion. She needs to know that there's nothing wrong with what's happening, with what happened to me. That I am ok. That she is ok.

She lets me lead her back to the bedroom.

"Sit down."

"Where?"

"On the bed, of course," I motion to it, standing in the doorway. "If you're scared of what I'm going to do, I'll stay over here. I won't do anything."

"What if I want you to do something," she mutters as she crosses, and I have to pause and look at her again. Her face, still blurry, is now blushing visibly.

"What?" my voice is sharp in the air, and I swallow.

It has been a long time since I've had to think about someone like that. A long time since I've bothered to think about that sort of an exertion of my body. After Meiran…

Meiran and I never did much more than fight one another, but once… once the two of us managed to get into a fight that lead the two of us straight down onto the practice mats. If anyone had come into the dojo that day, we would have both been whipped. We were betrothed, but not married, exactly. The entire clan knew that we would be a good match, if we could ever stop fighting. They never knew, when she died, that she wasn't as pure as she had been.

I was never sure if the tears in her eyes when she left were because she knew she was going to die and she would miss me, or if it was something else. She was more moody the last few months, and the only thing I've ever had to compare it to is a pregnant woman.

But I can't handle thinking about that possibility. If Meiran died with child…

"Fei?"

Sally's voice interrupts my thoughts, and I feel that she's close to me, kneeling just over my shoulder. "You're thinking awfully hard about something." Her voice is as hesitant as her footsteps in the hallway were, and she slowly leans over my shoulder, putting her arms around my middle. "I'm sorry," she whispers, and her voice tickles my ear.

"There is nothing for you to be sorry about," I respond, turning to glance at her.

"What were you thinking about?"

I swallow, unwilling to say it and hurt her. So I do the next best thing that I can think of, and I tilt my chin slightly, pressing my lips to the corner of hers. Her fingers tighten around my stomach slightly, and then her body relaxes against my back. Twisting slightly, I draw her down across my lap.

"You're evading the question," she says in a gentle voice as I lean down and press my lips against hers again.

"Perhaps," I respond. "If I am?"

She lifts a hand and slips the band out of my hair, threading her fingers through it. "I think I can be convinced to overlook it… for the time being."