It's late, and I stir, mostly because my stomach is relatively empty.
His hands tighten around my back, pulling me against him. I don't remember falling asleep, or sitting on the bed, but I don't feel alienated by being in his arms or between his sheets. I'm just surprised that I'm still fully dressed.
"Nothing to worry about," he replies, and his chin nuzzles the top of my head.
"Sure," I reply, "but I'm hungry." I roll out of bed, pulling away from his embrace. I shiver slightly as I head out into the rest of his apartment, and it's not because it's cold in here.
In his own quiet manner, I guess Wufei was trying to be kind by not sleeping with me. I was weary of everything, and I suppose he was a little scared of the idea of it. Not that I blame him. There is something safe about the relationship as it is. He is warm and secure and alive, and that's enough for me. It should be.
I went to China to get away from a city that was empty of him, and I only came back when I found out that there was nothing in China to replace him. But now that I'm here and he's here and he's safe, I don't, almost, know how to handle it. Trowa was right to say that Wufei would want to take it slow, and I thank him for the warning in the back of my mind. Hell. I need to take it slow right now, despite what my body tells me when he touches me.
I reach the kitchen and open the refrigerator, hoping the bright light will wipe my mind clean of the memory of his lips. Milk, orange juice, eggs…
"Are you hungry?" I call out. "I'll cook something."
He doesn't respond, and I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. If this is how he wants things… "Can you even cook?" his voice is sarcastic, and coming from the doorway and I am startled to find him standing there behind me. I thought he would still be in the bedroom.
"Of course I can cook."
"You eat out a lot," he says, stepping in to cross and stand over next to the sink. "You left bed suddenly," he says, reaching up and finding the door of the cabinet and opening it to retrieve a glass.
"I told you, I was hungry."
"That isn't why you got up." His back is to me, and I can feel the sharp tone in his voice, even though he doesn't intend it to be so.
"Then why did I?" I reply, turning and folding my arms, back to the closed door of the refrigerator. It's cool in the tee-shirt I've got on. The one he put me in, no doubt. It reminds me of things I find I shouldn't forget. "Hmm?"
He sets the glass down on the counter. "I don't want to fight you," his voice is very tired. "I-"
The phone rings, cutting him off. It is very loud in the empty quiet of the apartment. I usually keep music running in my apartment, softly in the background, because I've found that I often cannot stand complete silence. He obviously doesn't share that problem.
"Are you going to answer it?" we ask at the same time. With a sigh, he reaches over and picks it up. He speaks in a soft voice for several minutes before hanging up.
"Who was it?"
"Quatre," Wufei says, replacing the receiver gently on the cradle. He lowers his face so that his chin is brushing against his neck. "It's Trowa… he was in a car accident."
My heart catches in my throat. I just saw Trowa a few hours ago. He was…
"He's not dead, is he?"
Wufei coughs, shaking his head. "No, Trowa isn't dead. I would've gotten much more than a phone call if that were the case. But Quatre is at the hospital waiting on the results of his emergency operation, and he's at a loss for what to do."
"Do you want to go down there?"
He nods, slowly, and reaches a hand out in my direction, taking a step towards me. "Sally, I…"
"Please, don't," I respond, cutting his words short. "I don't want to force you into anything you aren't ready for." I hear the resignation in my own voice, and he takes a step forward, lifting his hand to my cheek in response. I don't know how he knows where that is, but he does.
"There comes a time when it's beyond being ready for something, and just accepting it." He draws me close to him and I feel a bit of the anxiety melt from my shoulders. Maybe he wasn't just being nice… maybe what he was waiting for was the proper moment. "Sai Lei, I love you."