~Author's note~

Thanks for all ur reviews! And for those of you who are curious, I'm 15 (almost 16! Woohoo!), and I live in Cali. The city I live in is Petaluma (a small city about 30-40 min North of San Francisco, aka "P-Town"). I go to school at Casa Grande High, and I'm a sophomore.

Oh, and no Alyssium is not an element! It is a flower, they are little and white. They are more commonly known as alyssum, but I have seen them spelt as "Alyssium", and I like that spelling better b/c the my name has an "I" in it, and the 1st four letters in Alyssium (A-L-Y-S) are the 1st four letters in my name. It's not my fav. flower, but they are pretty. My favorite flowers are white roses (just in case u wanted to know).

*neways, on with the story*

Ch5: New Years Resolution

Hermione and Snape boarded the train, neither of them saying a word to each other.

If he doesn't have to talk, then neither do I. Hermione told herself, as she found an empty compartment. To her dismay, Snape followed her and sat down on the opposite bench.

"Why are you following me?" she asked, her voice showing signs of annoyance.

"We need to talk," he responded. His voice, the seriousness in it, made her turn around.

"About what?"

"About last night," he smiled, making her knees quiver.

How can I expect to have a conversation with him, if he keeps making my stomach flutter? She hated admitting this, even to herself, but she knew that it was best not to lie to oneself.

"What about last night?" she asked, trying to sound calm, but she had a horrid feeling that Snape knew what he was doing to her anyways.

"Are you really this clueless, or are you just pretending?" he asked, then continued,

"Where exactly are we?" She knew what the question meant, for she had been asking herself the same question all day.

Why that question? Why not any other question? Her mind screamed.

"I don't know," she stammered, and he knew that she was just as lost as he was.

Let's just start from the beginning, his mind told him.

"You know, New Years is coming?" Not knowing where he was getting at, she complied,

"Yeah, so…"

"Well, why don't we start over from there. From New Years on, we could just be friends?"

"I guess…" she let her voice trail as her mind raced.

Just be friends! How can we just be friends when I love him?!

"Well, then, that's settled," he replied, his voice final, while both of them silently regretted this truce.

They said nothing for the rest of the train ride, both of them too lost in their own thoughts to carry on a conversation. When the train pulled into the station at Hogwarts, Snape felt a familiar pain on his right forearm. He immediately knew what it was.

The Dark Mark, He's calling!

"Uhh, I have to go," he told Hermione, as he headed towards the school's border.

"Where?" Hermione asked, curiosity seeping through her.

Where the hell would he have to go so soon?

"None of you damn business," he mumbled as he continued in the direction that he was going.

So much for friendliness, Hermione thought as she made to follow him.

She tracked him until he reached the boarder, where he aparated. Using a tracking spell that she had read in the library's forbidden area, she traced him to a graveyard.

Swallowing, she waved her wand, and disappeared. She reappeared behind a headstone. She looked around, and found a group of men in hoods, surrounding a thin white man.

Voldemort! she mused, as she moved closer to get a better look.

"Well, Snape, you decided to show up!" a death eater with a crimson black hood, smirked.

"Well, unlike you, Malfoy, I have a life!" Snape retorted.

"Enough!" Voldemort smiled,

"You tow girls can argue later, we have business to attend to. Snape, have you fucked that Granger mud blood yet?"

At the disrespect of Hermione's name, Snape cringed.

Don't act like you care, he told himself.

"No, but I am getting close, she has a hard time trusting, this mud blood does."

Hermione forgive me, he mused.

That was all Hermione need to hear, she aparated back to the edge of the school, tears running down her face.

How can he be so cold, so unfeeling? It was unfathomable to her that Snape had not felt even an ounce of what she had felt between them.

She wiped away the tears and headed back towards the school,

If he wants to be friends, then we'll be friends, she told herself,

He will never get his hands on me again!

Snape returned to his room, after a long meeting with Voldemort. As soon as he plopped down on his bed, he swung his fist. It made contact with the wall, with an unnatural, sickening thud.

How the hell am I supposed to be so cold, and unfeeling when I love her?! He had no idea how to carry out the instructions given to him, but he knew that he had to,

It's for the Order, he told himself,

For the Order…

During the next couple of weeks, Hermione did all the "friendliest" acts that she could think of. She said hi to him, she was nice, and most of all, there was no talk of anything too personal.

Snape knew exactly what she was doing, and it was killing him.

Damn woman! I didn't mean for it to be like this! I just wanted to be on equal ground! He supposed it was his fault for using the term "friend".

What the hell am I supposed to do now?! His mind screamed, for he had no clue how to apologize for something that he should want.

I want to be friends! He told himself, but he knew that he was lying. He knew that he wanted to be much more than friends with her, much more.

Now I just have to convince her that, that is what she wants as well…