HER LOVER.

He dreamt of her always, he couldn't help but have her on his mind. She lived there in his dreams, waking and sleeping. he never would have thought she would have such an effect on him. he paced his room in sleepless unrest. the sun was high over L.A and he was still wide awake. he wondered what the others were at. Lorne was most likly chatting away with some movie producer, Fred would be in her lab working on potions and lotions with Knox, Wes would be reading and re-reading books and manuscripts, Gunn would be actually working on cases. He sighed and put his coat on, if he couldn't sleep he might as well go to work. the corridors of Wolfam and Hart were beige and bare, he didn't like them, but he couldn't change them. He wondered how he got to where he was now, how did all this happen?

"Spike, a moment of your time please." the English accent said from inside a large corner, the Watcher. He spun on his heel and stood in the door leaning against the jam of the door. Wes looked tired, he always looked tired now, Spike hadn't known him that long but he could see the strain that was building on his shoulders.

"Yeah what can i do for you?" The vampire said softly yawning. Wesley motioned for him to take a seat, after a seconds consideration Spike sat before the young man who was surrounded by reems and reems of paper.

"As you are well aware the Slayer is no longer one born of each generation, thanks to Miss Summers and Miss Rosenburg every potential is a full fledged Slayer and Buffy with the aid of her friends are re-forming the Watchers council." Wes said sowly as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah and what can i do for you?" Spike said growing a little impatient. he didn't like hearing her name, not when she was so far away, Hong Kong, that was where she was last sighted with the Nibblet. Hong Kong, she could hardly get any further away from him. Not that she knew he was alive, so to speak. He had told everyone not to say anything until they knew what he was a ghost a specter or just a fluke phantom that could orb out of hell for a time.

"You have to tell her!" Fred had said when they had discussed it.

"No, i can't have her rushing back here, she has a life now. she isn't alone, she has hundreds of slayers to help and lead. i won't distract her from that." he had said firmly. as he had spoke all he wanted was to see Buffy, to have her in his arms again, even if he could just hear her voice speak his name.

"Don't you love her anymore?" Fred asked, Spike had looked at her with such a glance he wondered if the girl had even listened to him.

"I love her so god damn much i got a bloody soul, i bloody well saved the blasted world for her. now i want to give her the world. if she knew i was alive, here and now she would come back and i won't be having that." that had been the end of the conversation.

"Spike, i must know one thing, you and Buffy were the last to leave the school, can you tell me anything that springs to mind?" Wes asked as Spike shook of the day dream.

"Well apart from the most pain i felt in my life, i felt my soul, it was, Christ it was weird, i felt torn, as if part of me was at peace while another was in utter torment. but all i could sense was her, she smelt of Vanilla. She had blood on her but the vanilla is what i noticed. she held my hand, we spoke, then i ordered her to leave me, she hesitated then left. i smiled as i faced death, as death burned me from the inside because i knew she would go on. I knew that my Buffy was stronger then ever and she would go on."

"Christ Spike you are starting to sound like me!" Angel boomed from the door way.

"I doubt that mate, see here i am with a soul that is no strings attached i can be happy, she has made me happy." Spike said as he pushed past Angel. He wished he could have shoved the big ponce but he just slide through his shoulder as if it wasn't there.