A/N: Just to clarify something that seems to be a bit of a misunderstanding. JKR's original prophecy is what the canon characters are currently talking about. The young muggle woman gave TWO prophecies (at the beginning of our story, which took place some sixteen years before present) but these prophecies are unknown to our characters as of yet. Dumbledore, of course, knows about them – because he was there. But when our other characters speak of "the prophecy", at this point they're talking about the original prophecy about Harry and Voldemort which JKR has presented in canon.
CQ
Chapter Six: Declarations
Harry stumbled down the stairs just after dawn the next day. He'd had another of his nightmares and had woken in a cold sweat. After laying there, trying to sleep, for over an hour, he'd finally admitted defeat and decided he needed to get up.
Harry had never drunk much caffeine. He'd had the occasional cup of coffee, and of course, tea. But he'd never felt the need for it displayed by others. His aunt drank tea by the potful, while Uncle Vernon relied on coffee to wake him properly in the morning. He'd noticed that Molly and Arthur drank tea while Remus preferred a cup of coffee. Sirius had lived on the stuff.
Harry felt that this morning, his need was great.
He'd tossed and turned trying to get to sleep last night after Ron left. He couldn't get the look on his friend's face out of his mind. Ron had looked crushed, even though he had denied it.
Coming into the kitchen, he left the light off, relying instead on the dim glow that was beginning to come in through the east windows. Dawn was breaking slowly. It would be another overcast day.
Fumbling in the cupboard where he'd seen Molly stash the tea things, he found a canister of coffee beans and the grinder. Pulling them out, he filled the percolator with water and set about making his first pot of coffee ever.
Fifteen minutes later, after taking his first sip, he recognized that he'd done something terribly wrong, but shrugged and continued to drink the heavy brew. It might be a bit concentrated, but the effect should be similar.
Minutes later, he was still sitting at the table sipping at his cup when the door opened and Remus came through. He started as he saw Harry at the table.
"Good morning, Harry," he nodded, moving to take a cup from the cupboard and pouring himself a cup.
"It's strong," Harry warned in a flat voice.
"I like it strong," Remus said, bringing it to the table and sitting across from Harry. "You okay?"
"I'll be fine," Harry nodded, not meeting the aging werewolf's eyes.
"Harry," Remus sighed. "I don't want this to sound trite, but I... I know how you're feeling right now, and I'm sorry for my part in it."
Harry didn't comment, nor did he meet Remus' eyes. He took another sip of his coffee silently.
"When Sirius was accused of turning on us, of..." Remus swallowed. "I believed them, Harry. I believed that he had betrayed your parents, knowing that they would be killed. I hated Sirius for that. James and Lily... they were... you have no idea of what they meant to me.
"When I found out, after he escaped, that he was innocent... I can't tell you how I felt. Unworthy, I suppose would be the best way to describe it. I had turned on his friendship, on everything I knew to be true about him, everything I had known about him since we were eleven years old, and believed what others had said, because it didn't appear that there could be any other truth. Someone had betrayed your parents, and Peter was apparently dead as well...
"Sirius and I talked after. Many times, while he lived here..." Remus hesitated. "And now I find myself guilty again. I've gone and believed what I wanted to believe, or rather, not believed what I didn't want to..."
"I don't understand," Harry said, looking up.
"I didn't want to believe that we, as a group, Peter, Sirius, the Order... me... I didn't want to believe that we had cost you your parents, almost cost you your life, definitely cost you your childhood, and then wanted more of you. I knew, deeply, that there was more to the prophecy than Dumbledore was letting on. Of course I knew that, because your parents had known that, and although they never told me... well, I knew you were special. And, as Bill said last night, Dumbledore was always rather more concerned about your welfare than the evidence seemed to warrant. Of course, it was important you be protected, but... he rather seemed to go overboard at times."
"Professor..."
"I'm not your professor any longer, Harry. I hope... I hope that you can someday consider me your friend. Because I can honestly say that, now that I understand, you have help, any time you find you might need it. And I promise, I will do everything in my power to ensure that you never have need to doubt your trust in me again."
Harry met Remus' gaze without flinching. "Thank you."
Remus nodded once, then lifted his cup, taking a sip of the coffee Harry had made.
"Holy Merlin, Harry," he coughed. "That is strong coffee!"
"I've... never made it before," Harry said sheepishly. "Sorry."
"Well, I can see some time spent with Molly in the kitchen might be an idea," the werewolf coughed again. "High octane, that."
After finishing his coffee, Harry headed upstairs to shower and dress before the others awoke. Neville would be arriving that day, and Harry had a lot to think about. He was startled in the hallway by a pink-haired witch who bounced through the door to the study directly into his path.
"Wotcher, Harry!"
"Tonks, good morning..." Harry took a startled breath.
"Got a minute?" she asked brightly.
"Sure..." he followed her back into the study.
"Hope you don't mind my flooing in so early," she said, heading for the sofa. "I'm just coming off my shift, and I wanted to talk to you... quiet-like."
"What's up?" Harry said, sitting down across from her.
"About the meeting last night..."
"Look, Tonks..." Harry began, he didn't want to get into a big discussion on his conduct last night.
"No, listen, Harry. Please," she said urgently. "I've known for a while that there was more to that bloody prophecy than Dumbledore was telling us. I talked to Charlie and I know that you don't have any intention of upsetting the apple cart, as it were, but I want you to know..."
"Tonks?" he prompted as she hesitated.
"I'm with you, Harry. No matter what, I'm behind you. Even if it means quitting the Ministry, or leaving the Order..." she managed to get all of this out in a rush before flushing madly. "You're... I like Dumbledore, and I respect him, but I know who you are, and I know that there is more to that bloody prophecy than anyone else is letting on, and I think I've got it figured out, and if I'm right..."
She turned deep blue eyes up to him. "I know you have no reason to trust me, or anyone for that matter. I just want you to know, whatever it takes to help you do whatever it is you've got to do, you can depend on me. Okay?"
Harry leaned back in his chair, his eyes not leaving the young Metamorphmagus. "Tonks, I don't want you thinking there is some kind of power struggle going on within the Order. There isn't."
"I know," she agreed. "But, like I said, I know we're not being told everything, and that's okay... I mean, I understand the need for secrecy, because it was the fact that everyone knew everything last time that left us in such a muddle and your parents de... Oh! I'm sorry, Harry!" she put a hand over her mouth, a horrified look in her eyes.
"Tonks, it's okay. And what you've said means a lot to me," Harry leaned forward again, resting his elbows on his knees. "Look, I do trust you... I..."
Looking up at her, he realized, she was Sirius' cousin. She was family.
And so he told her everything.
"I knew it!" She gasped as he finished. "I just knew it! I knew that there was a reason why we've been so careful about what happens to you!"
Harry didn't really know what to say, so he stayed silent.
"Neither shall live while the other survives," she said. "It all makes sense now! Harry, you need to be very, very careful of who you tell this to."
"Oh, don't worry, I am," Harry laughed humorlessly.
"No, Harry," Tonks' eyes were troubled. "I mean really, really careful. Even..."
"Tonks?"
"I shouldn't be saying this, but..."
"What is it?"
She was silent.
"Look, I've already told pretty much everyone I trust, and I've also told them I won't abide lies anymore. Or people not telling me things for my own good, so if you've got something to say, just say it. Trust goes both ways, Tonks."
"I know," she agreed. "Look, it's just a feeling, okay? But..."
"But what?"
"But my instincts as an auror have kept me alive when I should have rightfully been killed more than once, and I have a feeling that not everyone in the Order is as they appear."
"How so?"
"Just a feeling," she admitted. "I know, I shouldn't have said anything..."
"Anyone specific you get this feeling around?"
"Not that I've noticed. It's just like... well, like my instincts come on full alert at some meetings and not others."
"Have you noticed who is at the meetings when this happens? Who might be missing when it doesn't?"
"A few people, actually."
"Can you give me any names?" Harry coaxed.
She looked up at him, obviously struggling.
"Look," she whispered. "It's nothing specific, but when Snape or Mundungus are there, there is a whole different feel to the room. Talk to Kingsley, if you need to, I think he's felt it, too."
"Thanks, Nymph," Harry smiled.
Her eyes narrowed at him. "I like you, Harry, but don't push it."
Harry laughed. "Thanks, Tonks."
"I meant what I said, Harry. If you need anything..."
"Well, actually..." Harry smiled. "Maybe there is something. How difficult would it be to arrange a port key?"
The whole "high octane" thing is an inside joke of sorts. My brothers and I grew up on "farm coffee" -- the pot that sat on the back of the stove all day long, and occasionally had water added to it to thin it out a bit. My one brother and I have retained our addiction to "strong" coffee, although we recognize, now, a "good" cup of coffee from the "boiled all day" sort! The "high-octane" is a joke we had about our mother's coffee... which was strong even by my standards.
For those of you looking for some good reads... and not wanting to have to sift through the chaff to find them, check out James Milamber's C2 group "Only the Best" (C2 ID # 1468). I admit to being a staffer, so perhaps this is borderline arrogant, but I have to admit that I'm not the only staffer... there are some great people reading some horrendous crap out there so that you don't have to. So go! Subscribe! Now!
Now, on to my lovely reviewers:
James Milamber: I'd be a dead woman, James, if Shotgunn finds out how many chapters you've read ahead! And I believe you are much more methodical than I... I tend to be a "purge and edit" kind of writer... you wouldn't believe the crap I cut before I send the draft to you! But writing with you might be just the kind of experience I need! Once you're done HPMM and I'm done this, we'll have to talk, hmmm?
Heather: LOL, that's where the fun of it is!
114ever: Yeah, like James said... they need their heads knocked together...
Kordolin: Ron is the type of guy who needs to believe he's lost something to realize it's value, I think. And the whole "Harry deserves to be happy" nobility, then following that with little comments and looks that he just can't help... well, I think it's very Ron.
Sabine Strohem-Moss: You know it's going to be fixed in the end! We can't have our trio left like this... can we?
GiGiFanfic: See? Without an outline, that would be me! I need to know where I'm going to be able to get there, although I admit that in Power of Truth I ended up in a very different place than I expected! And thank you, Jeanne, for the lovely compliment!
Merlindamage: Hang in there, my friend. Ron is torn between loves right now, his love for Hermione (which is tempered by that silly Ron Weasley doubt about his worthiness) and his love and loyalty to Harry, who he wants to see happy. You KNOW he'll never "go after her" so long as he believes that she is Harry's.
Shotgunn: "Any way...us teenagers really need to start talking more about things. Less confusion may happen and the world will be whole again" -- See? This is where my faith in things comes from. Everyone is concerned about the way young people view things today... and then one of you lovely young people come out with something like this. IMHO, young people have got it more "together" than many of those running this world today. You go, Shotgunn, and one of these days, I have no doubt, this world WILL be whole again!
Imaquidditchfan: Have no doubt, there will be plenty of Harry/Ginny goodness... If I can just get her to stop playing the tart, and him to look at what she's doing and why, and not get all upset over it... ah, we'll see, shall we?
Treck: Yep. Gotta love men who listen but don't hear, don't you?
Larna Mandrea: I think we're all guilty of situations like this – where we were at cross-purposes in a conversation, and allowed it to make us believe things that weren't true, but that we had assumed. Sometimes, you have to put your discomfort aside to achieve clarity... Ron and Harry will learn this.
Love you all, and thank you for reviewing!
CQ