'Family' Reunion

By: YunCynImaginator

YunCyn: WE ARE BACK!!! WOOOHOOO!!!

Imaginator: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! *dances in happiness*

YunCyn:*joins Imaginator in dance of joy* WE LIVE! WE SURVIVED!! WOOHOO!

Imaginator: SOU DA YO!! *continues dancing*

Muses: *sweat drop seeing crazy authors* We suppose it's up to us then to say all the usual stuff...

YunCyn: No, no! This is special!

Imaginator: Sou, sou! This marks our return to FF.Net with Random Scenes!! *fireworks go off*

YunCyn: YEAH!

Muses: *sweat drop even more* Ok...

Imaginator: AND this is a birthday present to our pal, Fuuei-chan!!!

YunCyn, Imaginator & Muses: Happy Birthday, Fuuei-chan!! Hope this makes you laugh!! ^__________^

Disclaimer: Oh come on! You know the drill! Shoo! Go read!

~*~*~*~*~

Sanzo, Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo stared. Then they stared at each other in disbelief. Then they stared again at the scene they were facing in more disbelief.

Hakkai watched the proceedings with a decidedly confused expression. Now, this was unusual. To say the very, very least. A slight and thin man who looked very nervous stood at the end of a red carpet. He looked about ready to bolt at the slightest noise. What was he looking so nervous about?

Sanzo, ready to let loose the sutra, shoot everything in sight and whack somebody on the head, looked at the ribbons and garlands of large pungent flowers that decorated the benches and tables. As well as something that looked like an altar. It was WAY too flowery for his taste. If it was up to him, it'd have been burnt and buried six feet under. Along with the person who decided that HUGE frilly florescent pink bows were in fashion. Not to mention the over powering "aroma" of the flowers seemed to have put his nose out of commission.

Goku eyed the long buffet style table hungrily. There were dozens of plates filled with food of every kind. It was enough to feed an army ten fold and made the saru's mouth water. Especially the HUGE eight tier white cake that stood by the side of the table. He could already imagine it going down his gullet, settling in his stomach. It would feel quite comfy there, he was sure.

Which reminded him. He was hungry.

Again.

Gojyo looked at the room where the enormous (again, to say the least) women in the fancy lime green dresses had gone into, giggling and squealing, in disgust. Good Lord, he couldn't imagine how they had gotten so gigantic. He noticed, with some trepidation, a particularly huge woman looking at him. She winked, her enormously well-endowed bosom shaking. Unfortunately, so was her stomach which rivaled the said bosom. Which was no match at all. He wished he was elsewhere, anywhere but here.

"Ano…Sanzo? Have you any idea what all this is about?"

"And how we got into this whole affair in the first place?"

"No." Sanzo took out a cigarette and lit it up.

Goku looked at Hakkai. "That strange loud fat lady fell on Gojyo with this huge squeal, remember?"

"Oh yeah. I almost died. What with her crushing my lungs and all that..." Gojyo grimaced. "I don't think 'fat' quite fits the bill though…how about gargantuan?"

Hakkai tried not to snicker too rudely. "I thought you liked women on top of you."

The redhead shuddered. "NOT 800 pound women who seriously needs better taste in clothing. And lighter make up. And a smaller hat. And liposuction. Major liposuction."

"What's liposuction?" Goku asked curiously, tearing his gaze off the shrimp, which he had been glued on.

"Kids shouldn't know about these things."

Shrug. "Anyway, she dragged all of us into a room, and then handed us these clothes, correct?"

"Lousy, starchy clothes…tell me again, why did we put them on?"

"Because she looked like she was gonna cry when we came out and weren't wearing them?"

"Oh yeah. Hakkai said he didn't want to drown in her tears, didn't he?"

"God, no. She's scary enough when she's happy. Who knows what will happen when she cries?"

"But you did say you…"

"So I did. Then we went back into the room, we got changed, we came out, she squealed again… what happened next?"

"We got squeezed by the 800 pound woman who has no idea how heavy she is." A snort punctuated this. "Then we blacked out as a result of her hugging us."

"Then, we woke up again, right?"

"Yeah. So, the fat lady looked like she was gonna hug us again so Sanzo pulled out the gun and aimed it at her."

"Good for you, Sanzo."

"Ch'. She was asking for it."

"I don't blame you. Then, she backed off with this reeeeally hurt look which made us run, and here we are. Is that it?"

Gojyo nodded then scratched his head. He tugged once more at the collar, cursing the starchiness of it all. He looked around at the wedding cake, the wedding altar, the bridegroom who looked very, very nervous and very very susceptible to fainting, and at the wedding benches. He also looked at the fat women who seemed liable to break the benches (and there were a LOT of them and very few benches) with a shudder. Gojyo looked at the sticker stuck on the front of his suit that read "Hello! I'm the usher!" then at the others. They all had the same sticker on their suits.

"I STILL have no idea what all this is about."

Just then, a humongous man came and 'hugged' Hakkai. The green eyed healer, tall as he was, was lifted at least three feet above sea level, and was gasping for air. Just as he was turning blue, the man finally dropped him and boomed,

"COUSIN HARRY! I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO COME!!"

Once and for all, Hakkai's eardrums were destroyed. The man looked Hakkai from head to toe in distaste. " You've grown thinner! Too bad. Must have been very cold in the winter."

For once, even Sanzo had nothing to say to this. Hakkai was wide-eyed, staring up at the huge man (huge in width and height. And there was no excuse about him being under tall and not over weight.)

"C…cou…cousin Harry???"

"Somehow, I don't really want to know how cousin Harry looks like," Gojyo murmured.

"Me neither."

Hakkai sweat dropped nervously. "Uh, ano…boku…"

"Ah, pish posh, Harry old boy!! Stop with all that Japanese! I never could understand it."

Sanzo immediately mumbled something in Japanese to which Gojyo snickered. The snicker made the humungous man turn and…

Spot Sanzo.

Everyone's eardrums within a 35 feet radius burst.

"WALDOO! HOW ARE YOU?! I haven't seen you in ages!!"

As swift as Sanzo's reflexes were, the fat guy grabbed Sanzo faster than anyone would've imagined and proceeded to give the monk a bone crushing squeeze. The look on Sanzo's face was priceless. Goku was about to make the Nyoibou materialize and beat the stuffing out of the huge man when Sanzo was finally put down onto the ground, the monk gasping for air like a fish out of water. Hakkai and Gojyo wondered how Sanzo could still manage to breathe. After all, Sanzo hadn't had much practice at being crushed. Unlike Hakkai. [1]

However, it was clear that Sanzo was alive.

And breathing.

And his hair shaded his eyes.

Hakkai, Gojyo and Goku inched away slowly, each one pitying the fate of all the people there.

"Now, Waldo! What have you-"

BLAM!!

~*~*~*~

"Sanzo…"

"Urusei."

"Demo-"

"Urusei."

Sigh. "Very well…"

The jeep rumbled off, leaving the fat guy that had the misfortune to hug Sanzo, being fanned by his relatives (all…roly-poly, to put it delicately). Sanzo had not been so…cruel as to actually kill him.

A simple and singular blam (that was within VERY close proximity of the fat guy's head) had been enough to make the man turn fish belly pale and hit the ground, making it shake like Godzilla had stamped his foot. The VERY happy bridegroom had shaken Gojyo's hand so vigorously, the redhead's arm had nearly been pulled off. The groom couldn't thank the Sanzo-ikkou quite enough.

The man Sanzo nearly murdered was his father-in-law-to-be apparently.

The End.

~*~*~*~*~

[1] Remember that episode in the second season where a huge youkai gave Hakkai a so-called fatal bear hug? Didn't even scratch him.

Don't ask. We too have no idea. In case you didn't catch it, lime green is mostly the colour of the bridesmaids dresses ANY bride dreads to have at her wedding. A kinda spoof on wedding nightmares if you will.

And any wedding has to have a loud, dramatic Aunt *insert-name-like-Gertie-here* to generate a lot of fuss. And Cousin Harry was ALL Imaginator's idea!!

Imaginator: Hey, YOU gave the second name. 'Waldo?'

YunCyn: It sounded quite appropriate at the time…at any rate, happy birthday again, Fuuei-chan!! *waves*