Disclaimer: I do not own beyblade, the show or the characters nor do I own this song somebody else does!
With You
By Darks Light
…Kai's POV…
It feels so real, just you and me lying within the blankets of your bed. It's so clear, the warmth of your arms wrapped protectively around my waist. After last night spent laying together, not a care in the world, just talking, content with each other's company, as we gazed out the window at the billions of stars. I want to wake up, wake you up so you could, hold me, kiss me, tell me you love me; for you to tell me this isn't a dream…
But then I open my eyes
…I woke up in a dream today
To the cold of the static
And put my cold feet on the floor
Forgot all about yesterday
Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore…
I close my eyes and open them again; nope still here. It's still these same cold walls of your room in the Abbey that I find myself staring at, they're the same and the settings the same as my dream it's just the atmosphere that's changed; you've changed. I was ecstatic when you told me you wanted to be with me, only me, and no one else, so mystified I was that I left my old team for you, people I was so close to calling my friends.
I left them for you, and what do I have now to show for my dedication to you but pain and suffering? I could of left, should have left here at least nine times already, though that figure might even be an understatement. However each time I come so close to just calling Rei or one of the others to come get me you'd come in, you'd apologise over and over again. And I would sit there and listen to the pain in your voice, as you'd tell me how much you couldn't stand it if I were to leave you. And each time you tell me you love me, you tell me you'll change, and I would believe you but everything would happen again.
…A little taste of hypocrisy
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake slow to react
Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant and I can't bring you back…
I get up out of bed, my body aches, my heart and my soul aches. I'm stuck in a vicious cycle that vows to hurt me after each time I say I'll stay but I doubt I could ever live with out it; with out you. I quickly make my way to the bathroom that joins to the far wall, eager for the feel of the hot water on my skin. I look over my body in the mirror, bruises everywhere. I sigh stepping into the shower, disappointed that the water is only just warm; sometimes I'd just stand here under a shower of just hot water letting the searing heat it take my mind off of other pains.
I get out, dry off and dress before heading out into the bedroom to find you already awake. Just sitting there on the edge of our bed your hands covering you face, finger laced through your red hair, your elbows resting on your knees. You look so sad, so defeated and yet so deep in thought.
…It's true the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you…
I quietly and cautiously walk up to you and sit down beside you, though you don't move or say anything. I edge closer, ready to run if need be, but you don't even seem to notice my presence. I wrap an arm around you wondering what's wrong but you push me away, I should have expected something like that by now; though it doesn't hurt to try I guess. I edge closer again but you hold your arm out to stop me coming any closer I reach up and touch your hand with mine.
"Tala, do you still love me?" I ask, but you take your hand away.
…You Now I see Keeping everything inside
You Now I see Even when I close my eyes…
I watch as you look at me, sigh and then look away, and I'm left still sitting on the edge of the bed looking at you, before I sigh crest fallen.
"You don't do you… you never did… all this time," I cry, though I don't understand why, I don't know why I'm not used to this by now; I guess this time out of all the others, this time I thought something might have changed.
I go to get off the bed but I feel your hand suddenly wrap around my wrist drawing me towards you, I don't know what to think; usually you only want me during the night. I try to tug my arm away from you in fear of what you might want. I succeed but tumble off the bed hitting the cold hard floor.
…I hit you and you hit me back
We fall to the floor the rest of the day stands still
Fine line between this and that
When things go wrong I pretend that the past isn't real
Now I'm trapped in this memory
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake slow to react
Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant and I can't bring you back…
I quickly get up and run into the bathroom collapsing in the furthest corner, you don't care about the pain you cause me… you never did. I tightly close my eyes trying to get back to the dream I had this morning but it's already faded away. I burry my face in my hands and cry, I shouldn't have left the others, they would have cared… they wouldn't have treated me like this. I hear the door open and try and shrink further back into the corner of the bathroom though my attempts are futile; there's a wall behind me. I slowly open one eye and suddenly notice you kneeling before me. I let out a soft gasp as I look at you face, one of my hands sneaking up to wipe away one of your tears; I've never seen you cry because you've never let me see you cry.
"Kai…I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry…" you mumble slightly, trying to fake a smile but you look away, you look so fragile… so… I don't know what else to describe it… it's not you, your supposed to be the stronger one, the one who used to smirk at me every time I complained about how shit my life was… the one who told me it could always be worse. I wrap my arms around you not knowing what to do and this time you don't push me away.
"…But why?" I can't help but ask, referring to all the nights you had stripped me of my clothes… my thought trails off and I shiver slightly, not wanting to ever again remember what happens next.
…It's true the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you
You Now I see Keeping everything inside
You Now I see Even when I close my eyes…
"I don't know… I'm afraid of losing you… so I need to reassure myself that your mine… but all I end up doing is hurting you…" you try to tell me and I can feel your tears on my bare skin.
"…You should go…GO! You deserve better Kai so JUST GO!" you yell, pushing my away from you, "get your stuff and leave…GO DAMN IT KAI! Isn't this what you've wanted? Now go… please," I just stare at you. After each fight, each night of pain, you've always begged me to stay, you've never ordered me to leave, nor have you ever voiced that you've cared that you've been hurting me. I watch as you turn away the pain your feeling, I feel it to… but I don't want to be with out you.
"No…Tala!" I call out, quickly getting up off the floor and running over to where you have paused. I wrap my arms around you, burying my face into your chest.
"Please don't make me go," I cry.
…No
No matter how far we've come
I
I can't wait to see tomorrow
With you…
"You don't want to go?" you ask, your hands resting on my shoulders, undecided on whether to embrace me or push me away.
"After all I've done to you?" you ask again, and I can distinctively hear the disbelief in your voice.
I nod my head again and again.
"… You're getting better…I think… your not getting worse I know that… and each morning I wake up to your arms around me… it makes me forget about the night and look forward to the morning, to the new day," I confide in you, relaxing as I feel your hands move off my shoulders and your arms wrap around my waist; but then you move. You guide me back towards the bed and you lie down indicating with your hand for me to join you. I do, slowly and cautiously, but then slightly faster noticing how much my hesitation is hurting you. I lie on top of your warm body as you wrap you arms protectively around me and I wipe away your tears. Just like you did to me after every night as you apologised over and over.
You've stoped crying, one of your hands moving to wipe away my own tears, your smiling and then I'm smiling but I don't understand why we're smiling. However I just gaze upon your face as you smile storing it forever in my memory. I lie down on your chest and close my eyes listening to the sound of you beating heart. I take this as a sign, a sign that things really are getting better between us and for the first time in a long time I fall asleep actually happy, no beatings, no rape… just the hope for a brighter tomorrow with you.
...The End...