A Whole Lotta Knows

By: YunCynImaginator

Imaginator: This was inspired by a slightly insane conversation we had in school.

Muses: (dryly) Which one? ALL your conversations are insane.

YunCyn: Sez who!?

Muses: Trust us. We KNOW.

Muses: *look very confused as authors start snickering like crazy* And just what is so funny?

YunCynImaginator: You don't KNOW the half of it! *resumes snickering*

Muses: *sweat drop* Never mind…

Disclaimer: If we had a dollar for every time we said we don't own GS, we'd be millionaires with Ferraris by now. So, we don't own Saiyuki.

*KA-CHING!!* (the sound of a dollar coming in)

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was a quiet night for the Sanzo-ikkou. Unusual but not entirely rare. Especially in fanfics when one of the party has to angst by the window as rain pours. Or have a heart-to-heart chat with another one and have one of those bonding moments.

Yeah, right.

But that's not the point.

The point IS that it was one of those after-kill-maim-hurt-murder-vanquish-youkai-and-beat-off-sutra-hungry-Kougaiji-and-gang moments and all four of them were dead tired.

Uh… so to speak.

ANYWAY, the only decent inn in that particular town had only (surprise, surprise!) ONE room to spare.

ONE.

Uno.

Satu.

Ichi.

O-N-E.

Which meant our favourite group of youkai-busters had to share.

SHARE.

Okay, so they share. Not too painful. Right?

WRONG.

DEAD WRONG.

Because in that ONE room, there were THREE futons.

Did we mention there was only ONE bed?

Now, if all three were to JUMP into that one bed, there would be enough yaoi fodder to feed the lil' minds of yaoi lovers everywhere. (YAOI FEST!! No offense, guys.)

SO.

Guess who got the bed?

"Oyasuminasai, minasan…" ^_^

The rest grumbled as Hakkai climbed into the bed and Hakuryu curled up by the pillow.

Sanzo lay down on one of the futons, determined to check the next day if that deck of cards was fixed so that every single Ace, King, Queen, Jack and even the JOKERS ended up in Hakkai's hands. Grumbling, he rolled over and tried to doze off.

THAT was the point where this random scene takes place.

It didn't start with a bang.

It didn't start with a dream either.

It didn't start with a bunch of stupid youkais charging into the room, screaming for Sanzo's sutra and blood.

No, no. It was worse.

MUCH worse.

It started to softly and subtly, even SANZO wasn't sure how it began. (And all the yaoi fan girls may stop squealing and drooling. No one was in anyone else's futon or the bed)

Goku's voice traveled across the room into Sanzo's ears. "No, no, no! I know that YOU know that thing."

Gojyo's voice replied. "No, wait. I know that YOU know that I know. But you don't really know."

Sanzo, with mild curiosity, wondered what they knew about. He rolled over again and tried to block the words from flowing into his ears.

He failed.

"But I REALLY know that you know that I know that YOU know! …Does Hakkai know?"

Pause.

"No, I don't think he knows. We know that he doesn't know what you know that I know that you know what I know."

"Yeah… after all, not everyone could know that Hakkai doesn't know I know that you know that I know what you know. You know?"

"Of course I know! I know you know that I know you know what Hakkai doesn't know and everyone couldn't know!"

At this point, Sanzo had given up wondering what they knew. He just wanted to strangle those two if they continued yapping.

It was also at this point where the voices grew in decibels and volume.

"NO, they do NOT KNOW that we know what you and I know that we both know. Hakkai doesn't know. As we very well know."

"Sanzo doesn't know either that we know. Right?"

A throbbing, not unfamiliar, began to thump against Sanzo's pillow.

"What if he knows?! He can't know that we know! You know?"

"Of course I know he can't know!"

That's it. Anymore of these 'knows' and 'nos' ('knos'?) and I'm going to shove some bullets up their noses.

"NO! I know-"

That was IT.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

There was a slight thump as Hakkai fell out of bed at the noise.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Gojyo and Goku ducked as plaster and paint fell amongst them. They buried under the covers and pillow for good measure.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Natural survival instincts took over as Hakuryu took refuge under the bed.

BLAM!

Breathing heavily, Sanzo tossed his smoking gun back onto the futon.

Then…

"If you two idiots don't shut your traps, I can promise you that bullets will be shoved down your throats where you'll receive new holes to breathe through in your esophagus. Is that clear?"

Two very chibi heads popped out of the covers and nodded vigorously before ducking back under their blankets.

Hakkai, very clueless and completely oblivious to the earlier conversation, ventured to make a comment. Or two.

"Uh…Sanzo? You do know that you're going to have to pay for the holes in the ceiling…" He pointed upwards where numerous skylights were showing.

Sanzo's forehead resumed throbbing.

"Yes, I do." In a very strained voice.

(The trembling in Gojyo and Goku's futons increased dramatically)

"And you do know the owner won't be happy?"

Sanzo's head could hardly be seen at the rate he was hunched over.

"Yes, I do."

"And you do know that open firing can be very dangerous-"

"Hak-kai."

"Nani?"

"Do you have any idea this isn't the best time to tell me these things?"

"I know but-"

The twitching in Sanzo's forehead grew so much, it looked like the monk was going into convulsions. Gojyo and Goku, hearing the silence stared at each other under their respective blankets.

"HIT THE DECK!!!"

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

The End.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Imaginator: You'd think they'd know not to flame Sanzo's temper.

YunCyn: I know you know they should know.

Imaginator: But what did Gojyo and Goku know?

YunCyn: You mean you don't know?

(Sanzo can be heard cursing)

YunCynImaginator: UH-oh…

(Mini Sanzo appears in the distance and starts firing bullets at 80 km/minute)

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Imaginator: YAARGH!!

YunCyn: RUN!!!

Note: By the way, the thing Goku and Gojyo 'you-know-what' ? We don't 'you-know-what'. Emphasize on 'you-KNOW-what'.

Uno= One in Spanish

Satu= One in Malay

Ichi= One in Japanese